Chapter 27

Twenty-Seven

XAVIER

I’ve become a monster. Or have I always been? This is what I want, right? This was the plan. To destroy her, break her, and make her mine. Then stitch her back together again so she can’t survive without me. Right?

Sitting outside in the dank hall, I pound my head back against the stones, pain searing into my scalp. I won’t leave her alone.

I was so angry with her for not believing in me, for not trusting me, for not putting her faith in us. For thinking I would ever cheat on her or use her to get money. It means nothing to me without her. Yes, I wanted to start our life and do it quick, only because I have to have her. What’s the point of waiting? Plus, it would help my father, but that doesn’t mean much if she’d just leave me. I told her I’d prove to her that I will wait. I’ll do anything for her.

Maybe I should just go in there and free her. Let her go. Rip my own fucking heart out to release hers.

What the fuck am I doing?

I can’t let her go. I’ve had to let too many people go. They were taken from me. Now, I have control. I can force her to stay with me.

But is that really what I want?

Pressing my thumbs into my eye sockets, I push until I make it hurt. I deserve pain. Punishment. Death.

But I can’t be apart from her. And dying would end our connection forever.

I’m not leaving her. Tugging out my phone, I pull up the camera feed of her resting on the bed. So fucking beautiful, the way her chest rises and falls with life.

Tears spring to my eyes as the truth settles in my gut. Revenge transformed into reverence when I fell for her. Became obsessed with her. When she invaded every cell of my being, changing it in ways I never knew were possible. I want to give her a life. One my mother and sister never had. This isn’t living, being stuck in a little room. I have to end this.

What if there’s another way? Some way she’ll stay with me even after this... Think! Think!

It’s impossible for my brain to function when I’ve been only eating whatever I make for her. Hunger left me days ago, along with my anger. Now, I’m just desperate for her. I should probably get up and grab some water, but I can’t leave her here by herself. Sleep is non-existent. Not on this cold, stone floor I sit on, waiting. Just for any sign she wants me again.

It doesn’t help me relax that Tony’s guy on the inside got the answers I needed. Marissa’s uncle admitted to an accomplice, and it was his trusted friend since grade school… A David Hallson. Who later became the Mr. Devon Hall. The same man I murdered a few months back.

Tony’s guy shanked her uncle under the guise of some prison riot after he confessed the name. It’s only a day or so before her family finds out and wants to tell her. And I should feel closure that both of the monsters who hurt my family and others are dead. But I can’t. Not without my fiancée.

Emptiness. That’s all I am inside now. If I had known about Hall before I made him cut off his own dick, I would have severed more parts. I never got to confront him about my sister and mother, but there is no absolution in retribution. It’s hollow, just like me. And it took ending his life to realize that. I’m done with revenge.

Now all I want is my kitten back.

Okay… I’ve got both of our classes squared away, and her family is taken care of for the moment. I just need to march in there and let her go. Rip off the fucking cuffs and help her out of the house.

If I love her, I need to let her out. She hates me now. And maybe she should.

I’ll build her anything, buy her whatever her heart desires, take care of every discomfort she may even think of, if only she would stay. It’s been days without signs that this is working.

I failed. I failed us and her.

I can be what she needs from the shadows. If she rejects me, I’ll watch her from afar like before, ward off any potential suitors, and make sure every dream she has comes true. She won’t even see me, but I’ll be there. Her guardian angel. I won’t be able to go to our cabin again, though. Not without her.

One last time… I’ll use her one last time to memorize every inch of her warm body before she’s gone forever.