29. Theo

Theo

"You okay, Mathis?" Condit put a heavy hand on my shoulder. "After all that shit?"

I swallowed and managed a nod. "Yeah. Kinda rattled, but… yeah."

He studied me. Then he glanced around the locker room as he withdrew his hand. "Where'd Christian go?"

I pointed at the ceiling. "Upstairs. The brass wanted a meeting with him."

Condit lost a shade of color. "Oh. Shit. Do you… Do you think anything will happen to him?"

"I have no idea." I pushed an unsteady hand through my hair. "I don't know what's going to happen to me, either."

He was already shaking his head. "You're not going anywhere. And we'll fight to keep him, too."

I blinked.

"You've got a shitload of potential," he explained. "You're not going to be a bottom six forward forever, and the Rainiers would be stupid to cut loose someone with your hockey IQ over…" He flailed a hand in the general direction of the auditorium. "And Christian, I mean, I've worked with a lot of equipment managers in my career, but he's—let's put it this way, if there's an equipment manager equivalent to a generational talent, Christian is it."

I laughed. "Yeah, he kind of is, isn't he?"

"He is. I was here when they onboarded him, and it was like night and day. He fixes things seamlessly. He got the crew to pack things way more efficiently." Condit shook his head. "They'd be stupid to let him go. Especially over something like this."

I knew it wasn't that simple. Rules were rules, and the people in charge of things could very easily act like their hands were tied. It was entirely possible I'd get traded over or released this, or Christian might get fired.

I was restless to the point of queasy as I waited for him to come back from that meeting. Some of the other guys offered the same encouragement Condit had, which I appreciated. Though I'd known they were fine with gay players and they adored Christian, it was always a relief to see that support continue—and even intensify—when the rubber met the road.

Grekov appeared beside me as I was thumbing through social media on my phone. In Russian, he said, "You were right—they really do support players like us."

I met his gaze and smiled. "Told you."

He laughed, but his relief was almost as palpable as my own. There was no telling if it would be enough for him to come out any time soon. At least he knew that if and when he did, he wouldn't be rejected or ostracized. For someone already feeling as isolated as he sometimes was, that must've been a huge weight off his shoulders.

I hoped he came out. On his own time, of course, and I would never push him, but I quietly hoped he found that courage and told our teammates. I knew what it was like to be scared to show that card, and I wanted him to feel how liberating it was when he didn't have to hide it anymore. When the guys all said, "Cool, just let us know if you're bringing your boyfriend to Thanksgiving" or something.

He'd get there in his own time.

A few minutes later, Coach stepped into the room, his expression unreadable. "I just want to let you gentlemen know that, effective immediately, Jack Hayes is no longer the general manager of this team."

Despite the earlier rebellion, the cheer that went up caught me by surprise.

"Thank fuck!" someone said.

"It's about damn time," came from somewhere else.

"Does this mean they'll hire us a GM who isn't a raging asshole?" Condit asked. "And maybe not a homophobe either?"

"Well, I intend to be very involved in that process," Coach said. "And we'll definitely be looking for… improvements."

More cheers, which made me smile. Grekov, too.

"What about Christian?" Marty asked. "He's still MIA."

Coach sobered, which sent my heart into my feet. "He was still meeting with Bruce and Jerry when I came downstairs. I couldn't tell you what's going on there."

"They'd better not be firing him," Rusanov said. "Or we'll fucking riot."

Nods and murmurs of agreement all around.

Coach made a placating gesture. "Whatever's happening, it's out of my hands. But I hope he's sticking around, too." His gaze landed on me. "And Mathis, I'm sorry for all this. I had no idea what was going on, or that Jack was going to out you like that."

I nodded. "It's okay, Coach. It didn't seem like something you'd have been involved in."

"Not a chance." He paused, then smirked. "I suppose this means you want to stay up here rather than going back down to the minors."

My face heated as I laughed. "I mean, I want to stay anyway, but…"

"Who said anything about sending Mathis down?" Wilcox said. "He's been killing it up here." He smacked Sorenson with his glove. "Send him down instead."

"Hey!" Sorenson smacked him back.

"What?" Wilcox shrugged. "You could stand to spend some time in Everett."

Sorenson rolled his eyes and flipped him off, which had everyone in the locker room laughing.

We all went back to changing and getting ready. Despite everything going on, we still had to stick to our schedule, which had already been disrupted. With film review and practice out of the way, we were all heading to the gym for a light off-ice workout. Sounded good to me—I needed to blow off some steam, and lifting weights was always great for that.

But damn it, I still wanted to get eyes on Christian and find out what was going on with him.

My teammates were starting to leave for the gym when Christian finally came back. I didn't know what expression I expected to see on his face when he returned from that meeting, but one thing was for sure: I did not expect to see him grinning from ear to ear.

I rose off the bench, heart pounding as he crossed the room.

I didn't even have to ask how it went, both because of the look on his face and because he went right to telling me: "The higher ups found a thing that says fraternization isn't allowed," he said, his voice full of excitement and relief, "but instead of holding us to it, they're gong to change the rule."

I blinked. "They—seriously?"

Glee radiated off him as he nodded. "They said we need to keep things on the DL for a little while, until they have a chance to get it all squared away with the league and the players' union, but… yes!"

"Holy…" I shook myself. "Holy shit. So we can… We're both still with the team and we can be together?"

The way he smiled almost made me swoon. "And we don't have to put up with my dad's shit anymore."

I laughed with sheer joy and relief as I gathered him in my arms. "We can be out, we still work for the Rainiers, and your dad is gone. It's like a hat trick!"

Christian laughed too. "Best hat trick ever."

I chuckled, but then I just pulled him in tight and closed my eyes as I held him. Out in the open. Right here in the locker room. Both of us still on the Rainiers' payroll. "Holy shit."

"I know, right?" He stroked my hair. "I thought for sure they were going to can my ass, but…" He trailed off and just held on.

"I won't say I'm happy he outed us," I murmured. "But I'd say everything worked out okay."

"Yeah, it did." He kissed my cheek. "And now we don't even have to put up with my dad at all."

"I heard. Thank fuck."

"Right?" he laughed.

Behind me, Coach cleared his throat. When Christian and I separated and turned to him, he said, "Gentlemen, if you don't mind—since you are both still employed by the Rainiers…"

Oh. Right. We still had work to do, didn't we?

I felt myself blushing as I released Christian. "I, um…" I glanced down at my sneakers, which were still on the bench. "I'm almost ready."

He nodded. Glancing back and forth between us, he cracked a little smile. "You've got five minutes."

"Got it, Coach. I'll be right up."

Then he left.

Christian smiled. "Well, don't work too hard in there, okay?" He tugged at one of the strings on my hoodie. "Save some for me?"

I bit my lip. "You gonna wait for me in bed?"

He winked. "Guess you'll find out, won't you?"

Oh, fuck. I couldn't wait.

I'd giveJack Hayes this much—at least he didn't blow up his own world on game day. For one thing, it would fuck up the team's chemistry and concentration. He probably knew that, which was why he'd waited until an off day.

One benefit he probably hadn't foreseen? No game meant that as soon as Coach cut us loose for the day, we could take off and not come back until tomorrow's morning skate. Which meant that as soon as I'd finished showering and putting some food in my face, I burned rubber out of that parking garage and headed straight for Christian's place.

He'd been gone before I even came back from my workout. From the wink Marty had given me, he knew exactly why Christian was ducking out early. I probably blushed bright red, but whatever—I was on my way to be with the man who I could finally openly date.

And just like the night I'd walked into his condo earlier this season, Christian was waiting for me—naked, hard, and fingering himself.

Oh, but I wasn't doing this with my clothes on. Not this time.

"Come on, baby," he whined as I stripped off my T-shirt. "I don't care about your clothes."

"Patience." I tossed my shirt on the floor and started on my jeans. "Fucking you while I'm dressed is fun. But I want to feel everything this time."

The way he squirmed and bit his lip—I almost said to hell with getting naked after all. Holy hell, I wanted him.

I did manage to kick off my clothes, though, and when I climbed into his bed and on top of him, it was well worth it. His hot skin pressed against mine. My hard dick slid beside his. His nails burned their way up my bare back.

And his kiss… God. I could never, ever get enough of Christian's kiss, and right now, he was especially needy and demanding.

"Would you just fuck me already?" he asked between deep, hungry kisses.

"I will." I nipped his bottom lip hard enough to make him shiver. "Patience."

"Fuck no." He clawed at my back again. "I want your dick."

"And I want you." Then I kissed him again, drawing a whimper out of him as he arched under me. I wanted to be balls deep in him right then, but I could wait a little while, if only so this wouldn't be over too quickly.

I'd been afraid that too much of the appeal of this relationship was how forbidden it was. When we no longer had to sneak around, would it be nearly as fun? What if we could finally come out, and then it wasn't as exciting anymore?

As I held Christian in his bed, kissing him and winding him up and losing my mind with anticipation, all those worries and fears evaporated.

The secrecy had been fun, but it had also been stressful and frustrating. With all of that off my shoulders, I completely lost myself in how much I wanted this man. In how amazing his body felt against mine. In how his kiss could make my entire world stop or start it spinning again.

I had never wanted or needed anyone like I did Christian, and that had nothing to do with all the reasons I shouldn't have been with him all this time. I wanted him. Full stop.

"Jesus, Theo." Christian grabbed my hair and growled, "Get the lube, damn it."

I laughed. "I love it when you're like this. Kind of want to tease you until—" I gasped as he closed his other hand around my dick.

"You were saying?"

I thrust into his hand, overwhelmed for a moment by… hell, by everything. "Lemme get the lube."

He gave a triumphant little laugh and let me go.

I sat up and grabbed the lube off the nightstand. As I poured some in my hand, I said, "Turn over."

Christian bit his lip and arched off the bed, but he nodded. He turned onto his stomach, and I molded myself to him as I guided my dick to his ass. I eased in carefully, and in no time, I was moving fluidly and perfectly, driving little whimpers and moans out of him as he trembled beneath me.

"Oh my God…" He sounded on the verge of tears. "Baby, you feel so good."

I slid my arms under him and hooked my hands over his shoulders, both of for contact and for leverage. "You feel amazing. You always do." I thrust in a little harder, and I didn't even know whose moans were whose anymore. I buried my face in his neck, inhaling his scent and loving the vibration of his voice against my lips. He gasped, clenching tighter around me, and I damn near came.

Somehow, though, I stayed in control. Maybe it was a good thing I'd done a light workout before we did this. I wasn't sore or tired, but there was just enough fatigue to keep me from going off too soon.

I didn't want to go off too soon. I wanted to savor every stroke and every sound. I wasn't ready for this to be over.

It isn't over. It won't be over.

I closed my eyes and exhaled against his shoulder. We'd run headlong into the worst-case scenario, and we'd landed here anyway. I wasn't going to lose him, and I was more grateful for that than I'd ever been for anything in my life.

It was no longer just sex, either. In those panicked moments where I'd been sure this was all slipping through my fingers, it hadn't been the loss of my career that scared me the most. It had been the end of all those nights lying in bed with him. Bantering. Talking. Watching movies and hockey and stupid sitcoms. I'd been certain in that theater today that I was never going to wear a professional hockey jersey again, but what had almost driven me to tears was believing I'd never wake up next to Christian again. I'd never hold him close to me again.

But here we were.

He still had his job. I still had mine. Above all else, we still had each other.

And moving inside him like this, holding his naked body to mine as we rocked together, felt better than it had since day one. The sex had always been amazing, but this time, it was…

Liberating. Liberated?

Whatever the word—we weren't weighed down by risk and secrecy anymore. It was just us and all the heat and desire we could stand. After we came, after we caught our breath, we'd both still be here. Nothing was over.

I gripped his shoulders tighter and thrust harder. "I want to come in you. Holy fuck, I'm so…" The rest came out as a shuddering breath.

Sometimes Christian would respond with something dirty, or with some encouragement to help me over that edge.

This time, all he did was whimper and shiver, and oh, God, that meant he was on the edge, too. So close he couldn't form words.

I grabbed on and rode him for all I was worth, driving myself in as deep and hard as this position allowed. At this angle, he'd get all the friction he needed against the sheet while I pounded away at his ass, and from the breathless, helpless sounds he was making, I was right on target.

"Come for me," I panted. "Take me with you."

A strangled sound escaped his throat, and then he bucked under me, clenching impossibly tighter around my cock, and the whole world went white. I thrust a few more times, trying to get as deep as I could, and then we both relaxed.

I pressed my forehead to the back of his shoulder, but pushed myself up on my forearms so he could breathe.

And for a minute or so, that was all we did:

Breathe.

After we'd showered,we ended up dozing in Christian's bed for a little while. The day had finally caught up with us, and between everything from earlier and the sex, we both just ran out of steam.

The sun was going down when my eyelids fluttered open. In the warm light, Christian was still asleep on my chest, my arm around his shoulders and his draped across my stomach.

Smiling to myself, I closed my eyes. For all I'd been afraid the thrill of the secrecy was the only thing keeping us going, it was plainly obvious now that that wasn't the case. We were out. Soon, we'd be out publicly. And I still wanted him even more than I had in the beginning. From the way he'd kissed me and begged for me, the feeling was mutual.

Beside me, Christian stirred, and I opened my eyes as he pushed himself up. He was adorably rumpled, his hair having dried going in every which direction. "Did I fall asleep?"

"We both did." I stroked his cheek. "I think we needed it."

He met my gaze, and though his eyes were still sleepy, his focus sharpened a little, and he smiled. "Yeah, we did. What a day, right?"

"No kidding." I stroked his hair, sort of managing to tame it. "I won't say it was fun, but… I'm glad it happened."

"Me too. And I'm glad we ended up here." His cheeks colored as he cut his eyes away. "I wasn't sure how things would shake out with us. After… I mean…"

"I get it," I whispered. "Getting involuntarily outed sucks. But I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you want me to."

"Absolutely not," he said quickly, snapping his gaze back to mine. "I definitely don't want you to go anywhere."

"Then I won't." I grinned. "Especially not if you feel like getting drilled again."

That broke through the sudden tension, and he laughed. "I'm always game for that." He sobered a little and studied me. "I'm, uh… The sex really isn't the only reason I want you here, you know. Hasn't been for a while."

"Same," I said softly. "It was hookups in the beginning, but now…" I didn't know how to finish that.

"Exactly." Christian touched my face. "I didn't take all these risks to be with you because the sex was hot. That part was great, obviously, but…" He chewed his lip, the blush returning to his cheeks. "I stuck around because I love you."

My heart did things it had never done before. Sliding my hand up his back, I said, "I love you, too. I wouldn't have gambled with my career if I didn't."

Disbelief registered across his features, but then he smiled and leaned in to kiss me. "Same. Though the hot sex didn't hurt anything."

I laughed. "No, it didn't. So, you know, if you want to keep doing that part, I'm totally—"

"Oh, shut up," he chuckled, and claimed my mouth.

I grinned into his kiss and wrapped my arms around him.

I still couldn't believe we'd landed here, but at the same time, it felt almost inevitable. As if nothing—not a homophobic GM, not a club's fraternization rules—could stop this thing we had.

And for the millionth time…

I was so damn glad I'd asked Christian for a roll of rainbow tape.