45. Weston

I know it”s mine.

Without a shadow of a doubt, the baby inside Renee is mine. There”s no way she”s having it with Deacon. There”s no way it”s someone else”s. And maybe that makes me arrogant, but hell, I like to think it”s just basic intuition. Primal instinct. Something in my brain just clicks and suddenly everything over the last few months makes so much damn sense.

Did she not want me in our child”s life?

Why would she? replies a snide voice in my head. You”re not exactly Father of the Year material.

”And fucking Deacon is?” I growl aloud.

I drive my fist into the wall, but the pain isn”t nearly as satisfying as I wish it was. I know I shouldn”t be out here, giving into this anger; I should be at Renee”s side so she wakes up to me. So she knows I”m the one here for her. I”m the one who will take care of her.

There”s no reality where I”m doing anything but that.

”Shit.”

I don”t know what to do.

Scratch that—I do. I need to talk to someone. Keeping all these thoughts in my head is a recipe for disaster. It’s a buzzing hornet’s nest in there. If I don’t let them out, I’m going to go insane.

But who?

Mom? No. I can”t drop the info that she has a whole ass grandchild on the way when I don”t have solid footing with the mother of said grandchild.

Molly? Also no. She”s had too much pain surrounding kids. I can”t tell her just yet until I know what the fuck is going on.

The hardest answer is also the obvious one: Hunter.

I need to talk to Hunter.

Even with everything going on with my best friend, I know I can call him for this. When he answers on the second ring, I know I made the right choice.

”Yoooo. Saw your ejection. Bummer, dude.”

”Yeah, real bummer.” I”m not even thinking about the game right now. To be honest, I’d be hard-pressed to even tell you what sport I play at the moment.

”You cutting out early? Wanna grab a drink or something?”

Honestly, I could use the drink. But… ”Don”t think that”s a good idea. I…”

I can hear the frown in his voice. ”What”s up, dude?”

”I”m at the hospital with Renee.”

”What?!” There’s a rustle of motion as he leaps to his feet. ”What do you mean? Is she okay? What happened?”

”Met up with her after I got ejected. We got… carried away. When we were done, that fucking prick Deacon showed up. We got into it and Renee got caught in the crossfire. She hit her head.”

”Oh, shit. Fuck me. What”s happening now?”

”She”s getting a scan soon. But that”s not the only thing. She—I—Renee is pregnant.”

Silence.

Well, that sure as shit isn”t reassuring.

”Listen,” I bark, “I know, okay? I”m not father material and this is probably the dumbest thing I”ve ever gotten myself into?—”

”Dude, where the fuck are you getting all that?” Hunter scoffs. I can hear his eye roll.

”You were the one that didn”t say shit.”

”Yeah, ”cause it”s kinda a surprise finding out you”re gonna be an uncle!” Hunter laughs deliriously and it”s almost enough to ease the tension out of my spine. ”I get to be Uncle Hunter, right? I”ll be sober and everything for the little guy.”

”I don”t even know if it”s a little guy.”

”Not too early to start hoping. Unless you wanna be a girl dad. You might actually be better at that. All papa bear protective and shit.”

I really wish he was here to get the full force of the “dude, really?” look on my face right now. ”Papa bear?”

”I could get you the phrase on a shirt if you want. Or a coffee mug? A billboard? Tattooed on your forehead?”

”Get fucked.”

Hunter laughs. ”You know, that coming from you right now is interesting, considering ‘fucking’ got you into this situation in the first place.”

”I will fight you.”

”You wouldn”t hurt an impaired man!”

”Like hell I wouldn’t. I”m an equal opportunity asshole.”

Hunter snorts. ”You”re such a shit bag, Westie.” He sighs and settles back. “So, what are you gonna do? With a baby on the way and all.”

That”s the million-dollar question, isn”t it?

”I dunno. I don’t fucking know, man. It all depends on what Renee”s gonna say when she wakes up. I need to know why she didn”t tell me anything. If she even wants me in this kid”s life.”

”And if she doesn”t?”

I don”t know if I want to think about that particular what if. But even then, the answer is obvious.

”I”m gonna fight to show why I should. Prove myself to her.”

”You’re as stubborn as they come, Weston Scott. But somehow, I don”t think you”ll have to fight too hard.”

”That makes one of us,” I mumble defeatedly.

”I”m serious. But if you do end up having to fight for it, make it clear to her you want to be there for her and that kid. You haven”t exactly made it your top goal to be a dad, and you know, she”s probably afraid because of it.”

”Afraid?” I”m confused. ”Of me?”

”More so what her having your kid might do to you,” Hunter reasons. ”Dude, no woman wants to have to deal with the father of her child—the person that literally knocked her up—flaking on her. Plus, she actually has feelings for you? She might worry she”s ruining your life. Come on, man. Use your head.”

I don’t want kids. I meant those words when I said them. I just never thought I was cut out for it. Too much going on, too little proof in my life that I wouldn’t just fuck up everything I touched. Not enough trust after what happened with Eva to want to put so much heart into a woman that I could build a family with her.

Renee, though…

Renee is different.

I know that now.

And I can be different for her.

For our baby.

For our future.

”Dude, I can basically hear your brain frying like it”s popcorn. You got this. You”re gonna make a great father.”

I”m not so convinced.

But that doesn”t mean I can”t try.