Chapter 37

“Today is December 27th and my name isLivieQuinn.”

I cleared my throat and glanced at the notes before me on the dining table — the little script I’d made and had Nix’s lawyer look over — before turning them over. I knew what I wanted to say. What I had to say.

No more hiding.

It wasn’t me.

I took a deep breath and pressed record on my phone attached to the ring light.

“Today is December 27th and my name isLivieQuinn. Three weeks ago, you would have had no idea who I was,” I said with a breath of a laugh. “I am NixonArmasandLucaMendes’ publicist. I’m the media manager forCiclatiSport — the team that races inStormSprint— but before that, I worked forVinnyGarvs.”

I looked at my hands, unsure of my voice.

But it was mine. The only thing I’d always had, even if it hadn’t felt like it. Even if silence had once been a comfort.

“Then a photo of him and a woman in bed was published,” I said, voice cracking. “A woman who was not his wife, but me. And I hadn’t been sure what happened — but then I knew. Then I knew. The day of my dad’s funeral, he came to support me. And that night, I blacked out. I was completely fine until one drink where I wasn’t. I don’t know if I was drugged. I’ve struggled to drink anything since. I’ve had crippling panic attacks at the thought of drinking something I haven’t seen made. I didn’t know until that picture came out that he’d definitely raped me. I didn’t want to believe it.

“That picture, as you all know by now, was released by SamanthaGarvs, his wife. But it wasn’t just a picture. It was from a video. A video that has been sent to the editor of The Running Post and the police today. I will no longer remain silent. I will no longer cower. I will no longer be a victim. I’m a sexual abuse survivor .”

I told my story. I spoke aboutVinny, about that night, about how I’d denied it for so long. About how I realised, about how I sought help. About the trial. About the information leaking. About how I knew I wasn’t the only one. About how trusting Nix had helped me, about how I would help myself.

“My whole career, I’ve thought of reputation as everything,” I said with a little nod. “But it’s not. It’s really not. Reputation is for those who don’t know you. Those who don’t know me are going to think I’m a liar, and some are going to think me a clout chaser. But what I’ve learned is that it doesn’t matter. You can think what you want. The people I love know me and they know the truth, as you do now.”

I’d planned on letting it go. It’s what I would have told my client.

If I hadn’t been contacted by three other women saying the same thing aboutVinny. If Nix hadn’t told me there were other women he’d recorded on the hard drive.

Women who maybe weren’t certain, like I hadn’t been.

Women who deserved to know. To have the opportunity to .

Pen lid in my mouth, I scribbled notes on the time stamps where I needed to edit, cradling a now cold cup of tea in one hand.

Writing it was hard. Speaking it was a relief.

Titling it? Impossible.

When I looked up to consider the syntax of a possibility, I noticed Nix leaning against the wall, ankles crossed, as he watched me with a soft smile.

“What?” I asked around the pen lid before removing it.

His eyes smiled. “You seem… focused. In your element. Happy.”

He was the one who had taken the video to the police. His brother had taken all ofVinny’stechnology to a storage facility he had owned before his death.

When the officers asked, we’d been sent the videos ‘anonymously’. It was enough evidence for them to search every address associated with my ex-boss.

For the other women to find the videos.

“I am happy,” I said. “I can’t tell you what a relief I feel and it’s not even out there yet.” I jerked my head in the direction of our bedroom. “Have you packed?”

He shook his head and took my mug from me before placing it on the table.

“Our flight is early,” I warned him with a shake of my head.

Nix sat beside me. “I don’t know if we should go.”

“I think we should definitely go,” I said with a decisive nod. “It’s the last race of the season, Nixon.”

“This could go badly,” he mumbled and gestured to my phone.

“And, if it does, someone might spit on me again,” I said with a laugh that Nix only raised his brows at. “But we have security. I’ll stay in the hotel if this doesn’t go well.”

He nodded and glanced over at my notebook.

“Now all that’s left is to tellCris,” I told him.

He breathed in deeply. “I know.”

He got us both another cup of tea, I moved to the sofa and he started to watch videos of the weekend’s track in Florida.

And I sat up straight, ready to callCris.

He picked up on the second ring. “Livia, you okay?” We’d spoken a couple of times sinceLuca’sboxing match, and each time, he had an urgent tone to every word.

“Uh, yeah, you?”

“Ever, stop singing!” he shouted to his daughter and I could hear him close a door on his end. “Are you sure? Did Nix manage to sort out the restraining —”

“Yeah, that’s all sorted, thank you,” I said and the tension in my voice had Nix look up from his phone. “Cris, I need to talk to you.”

He shouted to his daughter over the receiver for her to be quiet then said, “Go on.”

“I need to tell you something.”

“Go on,” he urged again.

I twiddled the pen lid, placing it back on the pen and then off, the clicking noise a comfort. “What they’ve said… what they’ve been saying about— about me and Nix,” I stammered. “Well, it’s true.”

He was silent. The only reason I knew he hadn’t hung up was his daughter singing in the background.

“I know I should have told you, I know I’m in breach of my contract and I am so, so sorry. And I know thatLuca’smanager will want me gone, but with everything that’s happening… I don’t want to lie any more. ”

More silence and then the request for our call to change to a video call came through.

My heart sank. I didn’t want to see a disapproving glare. I didn’t want him to see me cry when I knew I was in the wrong.

I accepted.

He was straight-faced, grey stubble making him look older than before, but his question was unexpected. “Is this why you took the job atPrixton?”

I nodded, awaiting the anger.

“Instead of talking to me?”

Another nod.

“Is it serious? Are you just sleeping together or is this…” He screwed his nose up in discomfort. “A relationship?”

“It’s serious,” I said. “I love him.”

Crissighed and Nix squeezed my thigh. “Prixtonwon’t accept you publicly being with another racer when you’re publicising their own,” he said, shaking his head as he walked through his house. “Not at the same championship,Livia.”

“That’s fair,” I whispered.

For the last few weeks, I’d worried if my upcoming job atPrixtonwas secure after the media storm that had followed me.

With what would happen in the next few days.

But now knowing I would lose my contract… the job I had worked so hard to save…

Nix shuffled beside me, an arm over my shoulder as I looked down at the notes from my speech.

Some things were worth more than my job.

“If you had come to me…”Crisstarted. “Oh,Livia, if you’d told me weeks ago, I wouldn’t have hired a new media manager and you could have stayed. ”

“I could have what? Relationships aren’t—”

The two contracts I had signed mentioned very clearly no relationships within the teams.

“You’ve managed to take NixonArmasfrom being the most hated racer to being nominated for sportsman of the year,” he sighed. “As if we wouldn’t keep you despite that.”

“But we can’t go public orPrixtonwon’t take meanymore.”

“Emeric Gorman wouldn’t have it.”

Nix looked up with a frown. “And what if I wasn’t atStormSprintnext year? They can’t comment on relationships outside of the championship, can they?”

Crisstopped walking and snapped, “What are you talking about, boy?”

“What if I took a year out? The E-Bike championship starts next year and that would look good for my image, wouldn’t it,Liv?”

I nodded in small motions.

“Or there’s alwaysMotoBike. They’ve been asking me to switch for years. Maybe, just for a year, I do that. Their open season for new contracts starts next month, but they’ve already contacted me. Then Livid has a year withPrixtonbefore returning to us atCiclati.”

MotoBikewas a shorter championship of only nine races across the year.

“I could do with the break, in all honesty,” he admitted and wrapped his arms around me. “I’ve got other things that need my attention.”

“Nixon,”Criswarned. “Ciclatiwill sue you for going against your contract—”

“It’s just money,” he said, rubbing my shoulder. “And we all know you’ll have me back next year. ”

Criswent to speak. Then stopped.

I’d never seen him speechless.

“Anyway,” Nix said, taking my hand on his lap. “An article will be released today and then something else, so we just wanted to give you the heads up.Nazminalready knows.”

“Nazmin knows?” Cris snapped, head flying back a few inches.

“As head of PR forCiclati,Livjust gave her the heads up.”

Criswas clearly exasperated but he said goodbye with a smile and sent us his love.

“Nix,” I said, voice soft. “Are you… are you sure?Ciclatiis—”

“If you say the thing I love most, I will genuinely get your name tattooed on mygoddamnribs to prove otherwise,” he said, leaning over me sitting on the sofa. “If your initials aren’t enough.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “But not only that, I’ll make you come so many times, you’ll beg for me to stop. I can show you my love for you with my tongue, with my wallet, with my cock—”

“Got it,” I said and grabbed his top to pull him down on top of me.