Chapter 22

For the next two days, if I wasn’t packing my home up into boxes, I was overanalysing everything Nix had said. I googled him for the thousandth time but went as far back as I could. I couldn’t find anything about what this apparent career-ending experience had been.

He was oblivious. He hired a van for us to move my important possessions over, laughed at some of my possessions he found while packing, and asked for stories about them and my family. I ignored the rest of the world.

My brother had texted me asking when we were landing for the race that weekend, and I ignored that part of the text. Being my twin and far too observant in general, he would take one look at me and Nix and know.

So, to keep the peace, I sent him and Griff VIP tickets to the race. Hopefully, there, they would get drunk in the lounge and wouldn’t bump into number 18.

BEN: Thanks for the cocktails! Wow, really getting luxury treatment.

I smiled down at the text.

Luca, leathered in the pit box, nodded over to my phone and grinned. “Who’s that, huh?”

I scanned the room;Criswas busy talking to Abbe and the mechanics tinkered away, oblivious to me sitting on a stool staring at my phone. OrLucagrinning.

“My brother,” I said as Nix came into the room. He’d just changed into his leathers.

On Friday, we had driven up to the Silverstone circuit from London and stayed in a different hotel than everyone else. We subtly checked in and moved our suitcases in once the coach had left for qualifying on Saturday morning.

It was our first night sleeping apart in nearly a week and it had been horrible.

I quickly went on our texts from last night. It was something I found myself doing far too often.

NIXONARMAS: Just rolled over to hug you. Arm hit the mattress. Worst nightmare.

Seeing Nix,Lucanodded. Clearly, he thought I was smiling at something he had texted me.

“He’s here for the race,” I told him. “I best go and say hello before.”

“Who’s here?” Nix asked, looking in his locker.

“Ben and Griff,” I said as my phone buzzed with an Instagram notification. I was tagged in a story of the two of themcheersingtheir drinks and thanking me.

Nix turned with a frown. “Where?”

I showed him and he immediately closed the locker. “Right.”

Then he walked out of the pit box.

I glanced at Luca who only shrugged.

I ran after the red leathers down the corridor.

“Nix!” I called and he waited for me to catch up. The second I was at his side, he started walking again before going up the stairs to the VIP lounge .

“You could have told me your brother was coming,” he said gruffly.

“Why?” I laughed. “You want to meet the family?”

His serious stare made me question laughing over that.

“I didn’t realise I had someone to impress,” he groaned and shoved open the door to the decorated lounge area.

“You have precisely no one to impress.”

He levelled me with a look. “You. I always want to impress you. Your family as well.”

He didn’t mean…

“Do you want to meet my brother?”

He nodded and, a step behind me, we walked to where Ben sat with Griff, drinking theircoladasand beers. Ben stood when he saw me and pulled me in for a hug. “Livie! You’ve been avoiding me!”

He said it so cheerfully that there was a disconnect between the words.

“Never,” I said as I hugged him back.

When we pulled away, I bent to kiss Griff on the cheek, but he barely acknowledged me. He looked Nix up and down with clear desire. “Who is this ?”

Ben’s mouth was slightly parted as he glanced from me to the racer and back.

“NixonArmas,” Nix said and offered his hand, completelyunflusteredby Griff’s lustful gaze. “Nice to meet you.”

Griff took it eagerly as Ben side-eyed me, silently saying, ‘Oh, we are going to talk about this later.’

“And Ben?” Nix asked, taking his hand after. “Heard a lot about you.”

“Likewise,” Ben said hesitantly, but he was looking at me.

“The samosas are insane,” I offered to break some of the tension. I could practically feel Nix’s body heat behind me, he was so close. “Definitely make sure you grab some of those. I’ll see you after the race.”

Quickly, I made to leave, but Nix held my shoulders, turned me around and plopped me down in the remaining seat at their table.

I sat with a frustrated sigh.

“You can stay here,” Nix said, hands still on my shoulders.

I rolled my eyes, secretly wishing he would be able to see.

“You’ve already got some pictures from yesterday to use and you deserve the break. You’ve had quite the week. Enjoy yourself.”

“Can’t you stay for a bit, too?” Ben asked, eyesping-pongingbetween the two of us.

“If only I didn’t have a race to win,” he said with a light laugh, patted my shoulder and left. I only knew of his absence as Ben and Griff watched him leave.

They both let out breaths when he was out of eyeshot. Griff’s was whimsical, Ben’s was of relief.

“Oh my fucking god,” Griff said, beating my brother to it. “That was hot. He’s hot.”

Ben looked at me critically.

“I want him to manhandle me,” Griff laughed. “The way he forced you to sit down… telling you to enjoy yourself. The cockiness of saying he’s going to win the race… damn. You work with him every day?”

Ben answered for me: “She’s not just working with him.”

Griff’s mouth dropped open comically and he pulled his legs up underneath him on the leather chair. “Right. Tell us everything.”

I shrugged and tried to casually observe who was around us. It was quieter than usual. The grid girls would still be giving tours, but there were the normal VIPs, and Abbe was nursing his gin as usual at the bar. “Not much to tell. And keep your voices down!”

Griff was on his phone, typing quickly. “He knows you’ve had a tough week and wants you to relax. I think I’m in love with him.”

Ben rolled his eyes, still quiet as he observed.

There was so much to say. I didn’t know where to start, but I knew I was so ready to get everything off my chest, ready for the relief it would bring.

“He’s not normally that cocky. He knows he’s winning the race because if FrankFeldtdoes, he’s expecting me to go on a date with him. He also wants to impress you.”

“Impress us?” Griff asked, looking up. “The man simply has to exist to impress me. Not wanting you to go on other dates? That’s not just fucking.”

“We, er, aren’t just fucking,” I admitted.

Ben leaned forward. “Doesn’t he have a girlfriend?”

“It’s not… it’s a stunt. That was arranged before we… started things.”

“So, are you his girlfriend?” Griff asked, still scrolling. He parachuted up, sitting straight. “Oh my fuck, he’s a model!”

He turned his phone to show a picture of Nix, shirtless, dripping wet, looking like a god. The naked photo shoot. Though I was one of very few privy to the uncut pictures.

Ben covered the phone with his hand. Griff only hummed and continued scrolling, muttering a ‘hot damn’ or ‘fuck me’ every now and then.

My brother shifted my chair around to face him directly, and I wanted to run away, pull the chair back and get to the pit box, but instead, I had to confront my father’s pouted, disapproving expression.

Sometimes, they looked so alike.

“So, I know why you’ve had a shit week but I do not know why you haven’t moved a single thing into ours or asked for help moving it into a storage facility,” he said, eyebrow cocked.

I squirmed, sitting further back in my chair.

“Please tell me it has something to do with having too much sex and nothing to do with anything else.”

Griff looked up.

I didn’t speak.

“Fucking hell,Livie! What have you got yourself into?”

“It sounds serious, but it’s not! He’s bought a flat in London and it’s not furnished… and I need somewhere to stay, and I don’t want to part with my furnishings…”

Ben’s palm slammed into his forehead. “Livie, even for you, this is fast.”

“It’s not like we’re moving in together,” I argued. “That’s not it.”

“It’s what it looks like.”

Griff subtly lifted a finger to his lips and glanced behind us as someone approached. One of the waitresses with a tray. She set down three glasses of champagne, a bottle and then three plates of samosas,aloogobiand salad. “Compliments ofArmas,” she said with a nod before briskly walking away.

Griff looked in astonishment at our table of treats. “Did I say I love this man?” He took a large bite of a samosa. “Because I love this man.”

“I can’t be easily fooled by a samosa and an overpriced bottle of champagne,” Ben deadpanned.

With his mouth full, Griff said, “You haven’t tried them yet.”

Ben ignored his boyfriend. “Livie, what are you doing? This is your shot. You’ve been doing so well. I’ve never known two riders to be in the public eye for such positive reasons. They made it on the BBC!”

I went to speak, but I had nothing to say.

“You’re proving yourself so worthy,Liv. Yet, here you are… risking it all. For some guy, who, what? Will be done with you in a month?”

I knew it came from a place of love, from a protective stance, just like when my dad questioned every man who had ever picked me up from home, but…

“You don’t know him,” I snapped. “Would he really buy me a flat if he was only going to like me for a month?”

“So he did buy you a flat,” he sighed. “We’re getting somewhere now. He’s probably going to use it to manipulate—”

“Don’t.”

His mouth opened and closed as he pursed his lips together in pity. The exact expression Dad gave before cuddling me on the sofa after a boy broke my heart or I’d fallen out with a friend.

But it was my brother’s voice that said, “Livie, please—”

We were interrupted by Griff clearing his throat. Good time too, becauseSalihawas over my shoulder, standing with a gormless smile. “Hi, Ben, Griff. Family reunion,” she said, clasping her hands together. “Love that. Though I may have to cut it somewhat short. Clara isn’t here.”

I whirled. The grid girls were my domain. They were important for our media campaigns. “What?”

“She stayed with her family in Essex last night and it’s quite a drive. She’s late. Need the grid girls out soon and… well, Abbe made the point that everyone thought you were a grid girl at first…”

Oh, god. God, no.

“You’ll have to change out of the pink,” she said with an apologetic smile and chucked a redCiclatitop onto my lap. “But they’ll need you in five.”

Griff was howling, trying to shovel the rest of the samosa in his mouth. “Oh, this is class! We’ve picked the best weekend to come for a live show.”

I groaned and picked up the top. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Wait,” Ben called and waited forSalihato walk back the way she had come. “Just… if he’s serious about you… get him to stay with us at Mum’s. I don’t want you moving in with a stranger—”

“He’s not a stranger.”

“But you are moving in with him?” Griff asked and took a sip of his drink.

I shot him a look for taking my brother’s side. He shrugged in dismissal.

“If you don’t want me to grab your things from your apartment and move them to ours, bring him to Mum’s. You were coming for her birthday anyway, weren’t you?”

No.

Abso-bloody-lutely not.

Originally, I’d planned to fly out to our next race in Austria and blame my absence on work.

If I didn’t go, though, there would only be hell to pay later.

With Nix there… it might be bearable.

“Yeah, of course,” I said as I stood again and went to change.

In the pit box, Nix eyed me back in the original top. Thankfully,Salihahad got me one that actually fit instead of the huge oversized one I’d started with.

“What a beautiful stand-in we have,”Lucasaid and kissed my cheek before following his bike out.

“You’re with me,” Nix said with a coy smile.

“Has Clara said how late she’s going to be?” I asked. “What if she’s already in the building? I don’t—”

“Don’t have time,”Crissaid, already shooing us off to pit lane.

Abbe offered me his arm to hold. “I’ll escort you to the grid.”

The walk was short and a little cart took us down the side road behind the barrier to the track. There, waiting, were all the riders, their top mechanics and analysts. And I was to hold the umbrella high for him.

Nix smiled at me from his bike as we walked over to where he was in pole position, having qualified first yesterday.

At Nix’s side, his fingers twitched in my direction. He listened to Abbe talk about the eleventh corner but I could feel him lean back in my direction.

“All good,” Nix said, dismissing Abbe. The second the mechanics were done, he turned to me. “You have no idea how hard it is for me to keep my hands off you right now. I’ve never wanted to kiss a grid girl.”

“Don’t get used to it,” I laughed, pressing myself closer to the bike, my thigh against his. Cameras were everywhere for this part, but I couldn’t stop myself from innocently touching him.

“Mmm,” he mumbled, looking me over. “Let’s drive straight back to yours tonight. We can get the last few boxes over tomorrow and then spend the weekend in the new apartment? We can make it yours.”

Mine or ours ?

“This week… my brother’s saying I need to go to my mum’s for her birthday. But… you’re welcome to join us.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” he said with a smile. “Meeting the family properly.”

“But before then, did you want me to decorate and furnish the spare rooms as well? Or… your room? I was going to order some things when I get my deposit back next week.”

“My room?” he laughed and shook his head. “Livid, unless you want me elsewhere, I’ll really struggle to sleep so close and yet so far away from you. And — wait, what? You’re not spending a penny on that place. You want something? I’ll buy it.”

“But—”

“Don’t argue with me or I’ll kiss you right here right now to shut you up.”

I bit my lip.

He lifted his hands in front of him. “Do you see my fingers twitching? Genuinely, they are fighting me to touch you, remembering how they’ve touched you on this bike before.”

Thankfully, no one was close enough to hear our conversation, much too focused on their bikes.

The green flag was raised, calling all of us extras off, and it took all my might not to reach over and kiss him.

“Good luck,” I said and closed the umbrella. “I’ll probably spend some time in the lounge with my brother.”

“I’ll find you after,” he said, nodded and put on his helmet.

Though I couldn’t see him, I still felt his gaze.

Arabellaand I walked back together. She was tapping away on her phone as we went past the bikes roaring louder than a jet plane. “Shit.”

“What?” I asked, trying to not obviously look over her shoulder.

She stopped. “ Dios mío! ”

“What?” I asked more urgently, standing before her.

“Clara,” she said, eyes glued to her phone. “She’s in the hospital. She’s been in a car accident.”

“What hospital? How badly hurt?”

“She’s well enough to text, but…” She started walking briskly back to the pit box. “She said she’s got a cut on her forehead and she’s definitely concussed. They say she was lucky, some idiot drove her off the road!”

“Have they arrested them?” I asked at her side.

She shrugged. “She said they made a run for it. Fucking hell, I need to get to her. Her family are miles away.”

“Nix might—”

“If there’s one thing she doesn’t need right now, it’s Nix,” she snapped, shoving the doors open. “Sorry,Liv, I know it’s not your fault, but he hardly pays her any attention unless it gets him an interview.”

Well, yeah …

“He’s very private,” I disclosed.

She snorted. “I need to tellCris.”

But in the pit box, he frowned before ordering one of the secretaries to get her a taxi to see Clara.

Then straight back to the bikes.

For the race, I was so fidgety I couldn’t go back to my brother. I didn’t want to bring down their mood; I worried about Clara. The race went by so quickly that it felt like I had only sat for a second.

Nix won. Of course. He looked smug as he was interviewed, but I no longer hated that. He should be smug, he was fucking miraculous. He was thirty-nine points ahead of the other racers, having either won or come second place for all of the races but one.

But he didn’t look phased when Clara wasn’t there to kiss him. The commentators mentioned it in passing, referencing how they had spoken about her being absent on the grid earlier, too.

It wasn’t until he came back to the pit box to retrieve his phone from his locker that he noticed the sombre mood. “Who died?” he joked, scrolling through his notifications.

There was a divide in the pit box between those who knew Clara and Nix weren’t really in love and those who didn’t. It was clear in the looks they gave him.

Salihastepped forward to place a hand on his shoulder. “Nix, Clara’s been in an accident. She’s in the hospital.”

He slammed his locker closed. “What happened?”

“Someone drove her off the road,” Cris said.

“Shit,” he muttered, but his eyes fell on me. “Livid, drive me.”

It was ridiculous — I knew it in the moment — that my heart skipped at how desperate he was to see her.

He cared about her.

Jealousy reared its ugly head.

For the whole drive, his jaw was tight and ticking. His body was stiff, but his gaze was soft on me.

Parking, he held my hand over the gear stick. “Shit, I’m so sorry, you were meant to spend time with your brother.”

“It’s okay,” I said, trying to concentrate on reversing the ridiculous car he had hired. “I texted him and I want to check she’s okay too. ”

He nodded and we walked a foot apart through the hospital corridor to whereArabellasaid Clara’s room was.

I’d forced him to stop at the little shop inside and get her some flowers and her favourite mint hot chocolate.

He held both awkwardly and put them on the little table at her bedside. She looked up with a strained smile, a bandage over her forehead and a large bruise over her cheek.

Arabellawas talking to me about how Clara’s parents were still driving up from Essex when Nix interrupted. “Can we have the room?”

Jealousy, jealousy.

Arabellaand I went to the door when Nix said, “Not you.”

I frowned, staring at him. “What?”

Bella left us and I went to follow her out anyway when he stopped me with, “Livie, you are not to leave my sight.”

“Nix, what are you on about?”

“I am not leaving your side,” he said. “I will follow you.”

So, to save a very telling argument in front of the recovering Clara, who’d had twelve stitches, I sat at the end of her bed.

“Who was it? Did you see them? Did you get the registration plate?”

Clara shrugged. “A black sedan. I didn’t see anything else. I’ve already spoken to the police—”

“How long were they following you for? Did they come back to see if you were okay?”

“They… I didn’t notice that they were following me. I’d just got off the motorway five minutes before and was on the country roads—”

“Did they come back?”

“What are you on about?” Clara snapped, her patience gone. “You think they did this to me on purpose? ”

He shook his head. “No. I just… I’m worried.”

She rolled her eyes, lying back to stare at the ceiling. “Go,Armas. You’re not worried about me. Never have been, never will be.”

“I’m sorry, you—”

“Get out,” she said but there was no force in her words.

I placed my hand on hers. “I’m glad you’re going to be okay. They said they’re keeping you in for the night, but—”

“Get out, Nixon!”

Nix breathed in deeply but turned to me. “I will be right outside the door.”

“Livie,” Clara said the second he was. Her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t want to do thisanymore. I don’t want to pretend to be with him.”

“What? Why?”

“Did you not just see that?” she asked and gestured to the door. “So many questions but not one of them was if I was okay.” She shook her head slower than normal, themedsdoing a number on her. “And, clearly, something is going on between you two.”

“Clara—”

“No, it’s okay,” she said with a little, tired laugh. “I’ve got my own thing going on and I knew it was only for show, but… us girls always think we can change a man, don’t we? We’re never right, though. Some men won’t ever change.”

She reached for her glass of water and I passed it to her as she struggled. She thanked me with a small smile.

“I honestly thought I was going to die,” she admitted. “And… I don’t want to waste my time. I’m going to quitCiclati.”

“Clara, give it some time— ”

“My decision is made,” she confirmed and rolled over, facing away from me. “I want nothing to do with that man.”