Chapter 19: Aislin

Chapter 19: Aislin

Something was wrong.

At first, I couldn’t identify what it was. I woke up late that morning feeling off. Sitting up in my bed, I evaluated my body for the wounds that had become consistent and familiar, only to remember my lungs had been healed yesterday. It wasn’t the slowly closing gash on my heel. The feeling might have been the damage Everett did to my heart, but the depth of sorrow that inexplicably struck me was so much more profound than what I would have expected. It wasn’t like Everett broke my heart. Yet what I felt was… catastrophic. It had to be Everett. His pain wasn’t my fault, was it?

It was both a blessing and a curse that I didn’t work today, because without a distraction, I was going to drive myself crazy thinking about him. Tempting as it was to text him, I didn’t. My workout routine kept me occupied for an hour as I visited Grandbay’s only gym and pumped away on an exercise bike, enhancing my biceps and lats on the pull-up bar, charging my core with the rowing machine. It felt nice to sweat without the immense pressure on my lungs, but I couldn’t shake my unease. After showering, I went back home, sat alone in my kitchen, and ate breakfast slowly, silently, staring at the wall. The terrible melancholy in my heart worsened. I leaned my forehead against the table and cried for reasons I couldn’t fathom. It wasn’t about Everett. He hadn’t devastated me that badly. But all I wanted was to see him right now, talk to him and touch him, and I couldn’t understand why, especially when he had taken advantage of me and hurt me.

Maybe I needed to busy myself with the pack, so I called Gavin. “Muriel needs to go from your parents’ place to Niko’s,” he said. “Can you do that? And since your lungs are healed, maybe you should freshen up your fighting skills with him.”

“Ugh. You know Niko’s the last person I want to see right now.”

“You have to, Ais. We need everyone at their fighting best.”

“Okay.” I sighed through my nose, rubbing the dried tears from my eyes. “Hey, um… did you hear anything from Everett today?”

“No, but I caught his scent by the eastern border earlier this morning. Why?”

“Just wondering is all.”

It was rare to hear about Everett on his own borders. Usually if we encountered anyone doing a border patrol from Eastpeak, it was one of his subordinates, but I wondered if he had gone to the borders hoping to catch my scent. I hated that I was obsessing over him so much. There was a lot of emotion pent up inside of me, so maybe seeing Niko would let me get that all out.

Arriving back at my parents’ place, I sat in for coffee for a few minutes before me and Muriel would leave. The unicorn had an air of sorrow about her too, and after my mother went into the kitchen for a fresh cup of coffee, I turned to Muriel and lowered my voice. “Do you feel like something just isn’t right today?”

The older woman sighed softly. “I apologize if I seem particularly down today. I’m just… missing my daughter.”

“Oh.” Well, maybe something was going around just making everyone miserable. “I’m sorry about that. What’s her name again?”

“Kiara,” said Muriel. “She would be about your and Billie’s age.”

“The three of us could be sisters,” I pointed out.

“Yes. That may be why I’ve taken such a liking to you.”

I scoffed. “Me? That’s surprising. Apparently I’m hard to like.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know, I can be kind of an asshole. People have described me as being… standoffish.”

Muriel pressed her lips together and chuckled. “Then they aren’t trying hard enough to understand you.”

“Why should they?”

“Everyone deserves a chance to be understood and loved, not in spite of their flaws, but alongside them.”

My mother then returned to the room with a fresh steaming mug of coffee, resuming the conversation from earlier where she had been telling Muriel about the various categories of time-off she could file with her remote government job. I went quiet thinking about what Muriel had said. It never occurred to me that somebody could be loved and appreciated in complement with their flaws. The blemishes of a person’s personality most typically drove others away, not drew them in. The reason why Everett never liked me was because I was so aggressive and crude, but was there someone out there who would see those attributes in me and adore me all the more? Gavin must have found something redeeming about me, or else we wouldn’t have been such good friends. Then I realized that I related to Everett in that respect; I would judge others for their flaws and in turn expect myself to be judged. That was what Everett did and why he seemed to be so short on friends. But Muriel was right. If I tried to view those aspects of a person as mere quirks of their personality, maybe dig down to the roots of those aspects, maybe I could learn to appreciate them in a whole new way. More deeply than I appreciated them before. I might have been just as superficial as Everett this entire time.

I even chewed on this idea as I drove Muriel over to Niko’s place. She stood behind me as I knocked on the door to Niko’s house, and when he answered, a gout of flame burned my insides, but I tried to remember what Muriel said. Niko stood before me in a buttoned-up flannel and jeans, sneering with amusement while his trucker cap sat high on his brown-haired mullet. “Well, look who it is.”

“Afternoon, Silva,” I said immediately. “I’m here to drop off Muriel and since I’ve been healed, I want another spar.”

Niko’s eyes flicked past me at Muriel. He gave her a respectful nod, only to continue sneering at me. “Third time’s the charm, hey? Your mommy gave you permission to play?”

“Get over yourself.”

“As long as you don’t tattle on me for winning fair and square.”

“You’re such an ass,” I said, baring my teeth. “That’s what’s gonna make beating you so satisfying.”

He laughed down at me and opened the door, welcoming both of us inside. Niko’s arrogance was the flaw that made me dislike him, but I was trying to see the merit in it. He was always willing to spar, which gave me a lot to practice with. He wouldn’t hold back, but he would probably still underestimate me, which would give me an advantage. All things considered, Niko was probably my most ideal sparring partner in spite of his nasty demeanor. See, Muriel, I can appreciate somebody for their flaws.

Muriel followed us through Niko’s house to his backyard. He and I faced off in the grass while Muriel sat herself on the edge of his deck, watching us. “I’ll be here if either of you get injured,” she said. “And to referee, of course.”

“Thought unicorns didn’t like violence,” said Niko, stretching his arms and cracking his knuckles.

“We aren’t particularly fond of blood,” she said. “But I understand the necessity of training.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t rough him up too bad,” I snickered.

“Watch it, ginger,” warned Niko.

I wanted to antagonize him. The weight in my heart had me aching for an ego boost.

Once more, Niko and I stared each other down, waiting for one of us to make the first move. I scanned his posture for openings, but the moment he saw me doing that, Niko decided to strike. His body hurtled toward me, hands going for my arms. I straightened up and flung his hands off, grabbing the back of his neck and jerking him downward. Bracing his legs, Niko wrapped his arms around my torso, then I sharply elbowed the back of his neck, eliciting a pained grunt from my opponent. He kept his hold on me and lifted me off my feet.

If I wasn’t fast enough, he would have slammed me down on my back. Instead, I jumped when he lifted me, shifting his grip from my abdomen to just below my waist. That positioned me higher up so that I draped across his shoulder. Niko rapidly adjusted his technique and tried to toss me backward, tipping his body back as well, but as we sailed toward the ground I pushed with my hands off his back, wrenching my feet free and somersaulting away before he could pin me. Niko crashed to the ground with an “Oomph!” and I popped up on my feet behind him, whirling around to swiftly swing my foot at him while he stood back up. My foot caught him right upside the head. “Augh, fuck!” he scowled, toppling over.

Yeah, that was gonna hurt.

Nourished by my renewed confidence, I straddled Niko and dropped my knees so that I sat on his chest. He bridged and tried to buck me off with his hips, but I leaned forward to counteract it. His arms were too strong for me to control one with each hand. Instead, I grabbed one arm with both hands and crossed it over his neck. His free hand pushed on my hip as he continuously tried dislodging me, but once I pinned his arm across his neck with my arm pressed above his elbow, then I could take the wrist of his free hand and cross it over the other way.

“Shit! You’re stronger than I thought,” he grunted, muffled by the arms I’d locked across his neck.

“Told you I was gonna beat you,” I said proudly.

“Fucking bitch.” He strained against me, but I’d managed to secure him and my low center of gravity kept him anchored in the grass. I leaned forward on his arms, putting pressure on his windpipe and enjoying the redness rising to his face. “Get the Hell off me!”

“No, I think I’d like to give you a taste of your own medicine,” I taunted, shoving his arms hard until he choked and gasped.

“I give!”

“Do you?”

“I fucking give.”

And yet, I still didn’t let him up. I put all my weight on the arms I’d pinned across his throat while he rasped, struggling to breathe, until finally with a thrashing heave, he pushed me sideways and shifted his body onto his side. From there, he pulled an arm out and sat up. I readjusted to maneuver him onto his stomach and, sitting on his back, wrapped my arms around his throat in a rear naked choke. My finishing move was wrenching his head up so that I arched his back and he gurgled with pain. “Enough!”

“Aislin,” Muriel said gently.

I wanted to torment Niko, but the prompt from Muriel convinced me to let him go. I opened my arms and let Niko fall flat on his face, sitting back with a victorious laugh. “How’s it taste, fuckhead?”

Niko groaned and sprawled out in the grass. “Where was that the last time we sparred?”

“I was just going easy on you.”

“Bullshit,” he said, squirming underneath me until he laid on his back and I remained above him. “Get off me.”

Mischievous fire lit up in me. I clutched his chin and squeezed his cheeks, then lightly slapped his cheek a couple times. “Good spar.”

Niko finally sat up and pushed me off. I rose to my feet and stretched my arms, soothing my coiled and tired muscles. “You wanna go again?”

“Yeah, I do. I wanna beat you into the fuckin’ dirt, you little bitch,” he said venomously.

“Good luck with that.”

We took a five-minute break for both of us to catch our breath and have a drink of water. Then, we continued into another spar. I eagerly delved into the fight with mounting confidence. There was nothing wrong with my fighting skills. The only reason I had lost to Niko before was because of my injury. I was reassured of my warrior’s prowess after winning the second spar, and then Niko’s wrath finally pushed him to retaliate in greater force in the third spar, leading us to a draw when we became locked in the grass on our sides, neither of us yielding to the other. By then, we were both panting and sore, and I had accumulated more bruises than I expected to that day.

There were moments during our spars that I came in closer contact with Niko than I’d liked. He still looked at me hungrily, only in place of his pompous smirks, there was vicious determination. When I sat on his hips, a surprising bulge pressed against my thighs. I didn’t know if it was me that excited him or the thrill of the fight, but because I was winning, I didn’t mind. I knew at that point that Niko wouldn’t be able to take advantage of me, especially not with Muriel watching, and it only made me feel more powerful that he was so turned on. If not for my subtle, persistent, and nagging heartache, I might have teased him even more. That wasn’t to say I was attracted to Niko.

When we finished our spars and stood apart, my sorrow roared back in with a vengeance, making me feel heavier than ever before. There was nothing holding it at bay once the adrenaline subsided.

“Good fight,” Niko said begrudgingly. “You better wreck Dalesbloom like you wrecked me.”

“And then some,” I added.

“You wanna stick around for dinner or something?”

I laughed, knowing that he was only acting on the erection I’d given him while we scuffled. “No. I got plans. But thanks.”

Niko scowled and shrugged, looking away. “Whatever, you’re missing out on my signature chicken roti then. C’mon, Mur.”

I didn’t think I was missing out on anything. With a swift farewell to the both of them, I made my way to the pack cabin next, where I intended to meet up with Billie for a border patrol.

She was already waiting for me in the living room. On the 40” flat screen, a cheerful blonde was leading Billie through a dumbbell workout video. She raised two five-pound weights above her head and glanced at me. “Oh, hey Ais.”

“Check you out!” I said warmly. “What’s all this about?”

“Gav wants me to start building muscle, so I decided to try this.” She lowered the weights and shook out her arms. “It’s a lot harder than I expected.”

“Yeah, but if you keep at it, you’ll get better.”

Billie smiled, tucking a strand of mousy brown hair behind her ear. “What have you been up to? You smell like Niko.”

“I was sparring. I won two of three,” I gloated. “The third was a draw.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Wow! Good job.”

“Thanks. Anything to get my mind off Everett.”

After turning off the video and setting aside her weights, Billie hung her arms and wiped sweat off her brow. I stood in front of her, instructing, “Here, do this,” and demonstrated some of the stretches I used after my own workouts. “It’ll keep your muscles from stiffening up.”

Billie watched and followed. “How are you feeling about Everett today? Are you still mad at him?”

“Yeah.” I chewed on my cheek and reconsidered. “I mean… I think that’s valid. But there’s also this odd feeling I’ve been having all day.”

“Odd how?”

“Like a really terrible darkness.” I didn’t know how else to describe it.

“Is it something you feel through the fated bond?”

“I think so.”

“Do you think he’s upset about you?”

“Maybe.”

“Have you talked to him since you left yesterday morning?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should,” Billie suggested. “Maybe he wants to explain.”

I hummed and thought it over. It would probably give context to the horrible sorrow that had been sitting within me all day. I wasn’t sure I wanted to confront Everett’s feelings, however.

“I think you should,” Billie added.

“I guess I could give him a call before we head out.” Then I would be able to process it while we ran the perimeter.

Billie nodded. I sat on the couch and stared at his number in my contacts list, then sighed and made the call.

It rang three times before his voice crackled hoarsely on the other end, “Aislin.”

Something was definitely wrong. “Ev…?”

He hesitated to say anything else. I heard his breath catching, his voice clotting in his throat before he finally spoke again. “Dalesbloom attacked. They killed eight of us.”

Suddenly I understood all too well the cause of my pains. This whole day, Everett was wrought with grief, and I had no idea. The news was as shocking as the unfamiliar sentiment weighing down his voice, and I lingered in stunned silence, unsure of what to say.

Eight wolves were dead.

Without warning, David had launched his first full-scale attack… and I had the sinking sensation that we would soon be next.