Chapter 5: Aislin

Chapter 5: Aislin

To say I was surprised to wake up alive would be an understatement.

A sharp gasp followed my eyes peeling open, my body shuddering against a tidal wave of pain once more renewed with my consciousness. Six hands took hold of me, clutching my arms, supporting my neck, brushing strands of red hair away from my brow as voices slurred above. I didn’t know who it was leaning over me, but visions of the overcast sky and the ache in my body reminded me of what I had been doing before this—I’d been fighting someone. Choking. Losing consciousness. The hands all around me rekindled those same sensations of being trapped, and my first instinct was that it was Niko bearing down on me. Disoriented, I pushed them away and tried to sit up.

“Aislin, relax. You’re alright,” crooned a gentle voice near my ear.

An even more familiar voice sighed with relief. “My baby girl! Are you okay? We were so worried!”

They weren’t enough to soothe me, not when the clench in my chest made me feel like I was drowning. I leaned onto my side and my arms trembled as I tried to support myself, coughing hoarsely into the grass. A copper taste hung on my lips. Everyone spoke around me, touching me. It was so overwhelming that I couldn’t react to any of them, just slouch on the ground until finally they fell silent, waiting for me to respond. Raindrops slowly hit my arms and slid down my skin.

An image of a wolf looming over me was seared into my mind. His grey eyes were sheathed in incomprehensible emotion. Everything at once, or nothing at all. I didn’t know what he felt toward me, but I knew who he was.

“Where’s Niko?” I rasped, finally looking up.

Clustered around me were my mother, Billie, and Muriel. My mother looked the most distraught, clutching me close despite my frantic ejection of everyone from my personal space. Billie’s sweet face was softened in worry as she kept her hands to herself, and Muriel gently held my wrist, as though she had been imploring for my attention. I hadn’t noticed she was even touching me until then.

My mother brushed my hair back again, hushing me. “Don’t worry about Niko. Your father already dealt with him.”

“What?” My heart panged with sickening dread. Searching the yard, I saw no sign of either Niko or my father. “Where is he?”

“He left,” said Billie.

Great. That was just fucking great. It was bad enough he already thought I was weak, now I’d have to justify half the pack coming to my rescue after losing a spar to him! “Bastard,” I said, coughing.

“Do you remember what happened?” asked Muriel.

“Muriel said she walked out to you slumped in Niko’s arms,” added my mother.

“It’s nothing,” I insisted, abhorring the idea of everyone else learning about my failure. But I guess it was too late. All attempts to assuage my temper were in vain. I detached from everyone and stood up, swaying dizzily, and rejecting their support.

I had wanted to seek help from Muriel, but there was no way I’d ask for her to heal me now with everyone watching, judging.

Worse than confronting my failure was processing the nightmare that gripped me in my unconsciousness. Once I made it into the cabin and back to the bathroom, where I could finally hide away in solitude, visions of fire passed behind my eyes. It had felt so real, so sudden. It was terrifying, the way the wildfire had surrounded me, but not more terrifying than the implications of the wolf that came to my aid. What I experienced wasn’t just a hallucination. My Moondream had struck, finally connecting me with my fated mate, right when I needed him the least. Though I suppose the Moon Goddess would claim otherwise.

I sighed into my hands and splashed water on my face. The pain never receded, but I no longer knew where to turn for relief. After stepping back into the living room, I expected everyone to be standing there, waiting to see me, but it was only Billie. She smiled, looking far more disarming than anyone else.

“Are they all still outside?” I asked, my voice catching roughly in my throat.

Billie shook her head. “Your parents are taking Muriel to the hotel.”

Even if I wanted to swallow my pride and ask for help, I was out of luck now.

I dragged my feet to the couch and sat beside Billie, staring into nothingness and slowly lowering my walls enough to confide something. She wouldn’t judge me, at least. “I’d been sparring with Niko.”

“That’s what he said,” Billie replied softly.

“Did he say how it ended?”

She chewed her cheek, but I couldn’t tell if she was resisting telling me or just thinking. “He said he won.”

He probably said it with that sleazy, self-satisfied drawl, like he was proud of what he’d done. “The fucker choked me out until I went unconscious,” I muttered.

Billie’s eyebrows rose. “He did that to you?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“That’s awful. Why would he do that?”

“He was pissed at me for bailing on the spar yesterday.”

Billie looked me over, but I felt her eyes lingering on my throat. I didn’t think I would bruise from what Niko had done, but I had no doubt there were other marks he’d left behind. Billie’s gaze tickled and made me suddenly self-conscious, wanting to once again retreat into solitude.

For half a second, I considered asking how she had felt after experiencing her Moondream with Gavin, but I knew doing so would give me away. It was better to keep it to myself, at least until my fated mate exposed us.

Strangely, I always thought Gavin would end up being my fated mate. I hated to admit that I used to have a crush on him when we were younger, but that died when he started dating Catrina. It didn’t feel strange to me that Billie was his mate now, it didn’t feel like a lost opportunity, or like anything had been taken from me. But sometimes when I thought of Billie and Gavin, I found myself envious. Not because I wanted to be with Gavin, but because their connection seemed to develop so naturally after being given the chance to spend time together. I didn’t think that would ever happen with me and the man I shared a fated bond with.

“Aislin, are you... okay?” Billie asked.

The truth of how very not okay I was made my skin crawl. I just looked at her and smiled, stifling the urge to cough. Her thoughtfulness was appreciated, but after everything that had happened, right now, I just felt like I needed to be alone.

Billie ended up leaving ten minutes later. Lying in one of the bedrooms, I considered a nap, but sleep wouldn’t come easily. My mind was racing and my throat hurt. It occurred to me that maybe I could transform into my wolf and that might help my lungs heal—or it could just worsen the injury, but at this point, I was willing to take the risk.

Steady rain fell on the yard like a silver curtain. Stepping outside, I relished the cool, wet air, having shed my clothes inside and revealed my bare skin to the sky. For once, I breathed in and filled my lungs without shuddering. Rain slid down my freckled shoulders and slicked my hair against my back. I tipped my chin up and closed my eyes, just for a moment forgetting all my troubles. And then my body jerked—the transformation began.

Heat rushed through my veins, blood boiling my flesh. My skin tightened over bones that cracked and elongated, calcium morphing into new shapes to foster my metamorphosis from human into beast. Intrinsically it was a painful process, but I had done it so much that at this point, it felt more like a pleasant burn taking over my body, welcoming me back into the physiology of wilderness. Like I was greeting an old friend. My wolf sang with relief to be free again, ruffles of fur breaking the surface of my skin. In my mouth, rows of predatory teeth, and upon my head, adept listening ears.

But I had lost the clarity in my chest. The transformation once more perforated my lungs and suffocated me, ripping away what satisfaction I might have felt from becoming wolf. I gurgled with pain and ended up strewn in the grass, panting, tasting blood.

It felt too much like the Moondream.

Growling to myself, I finally managed to stand up, but what hopes I had to take off into the woods and isolate myself were dashed by the sound of an engine approaching the cabin. I watched a car pull up and tensed, recognizing the man who stepped out, surprised at the sheer gall he had to be here. It was Sebastian Hicks, the man from the Mythguard.

He spied me immediately and waved. “Aislin Mundy, right?”

I raised my head. Defiant thunder rumbled between my teeth, my tail lifting over my hips.

“I don’t want any trouble,” said Sebastian. “I was just wondering if I could speak to Muriel.”

Too bad I was a wolf, or else I would have told him to fuck off. Gavin and I might not have ended up with a fated bond, but that didn’t mean we lacked the same mindset. The Mythguard weren’t welcome here after everything they did—or failed to do, rather.

Sebastian glanced behind me at the cabin, shielding his eyes from the rain. “Is she inside?”

I shook my head.

“Oh. Where is she?”

Did he think I would just volunteer that information? The tip of my tail twitched, then when I felt he wasn’t getting the message, I lashed my tail instead, stepping closer and baring my teeth. Sebastian raised his hands and stepped back.

“Look, we don’t need to complicate this. All I want to do is talk,” said Sebastian.

What more did I have to do to get the point across, bite him?

“Aislin,” he said calmly, “the Mythguard don’t mean any harm. You of all people should know that. You wanted to join the Mythguard, didn’t you?”

I hesitated mid-step, but the fact that he brought up my earliest childhood dream made me bristle. He had no right to remind me of the things I’d never been able to accomplish.

“If you cooperate with me, I can put you into contact with a recruiting agent.”

They’d never been interested in giving me a chance before. I’d always been brushed off under the claim that there was already a correspondent in the Gunnison area. This wasn’t a sincere offering based on the merits of my skill. He was only trying to manipulate me into telling him where Muriel was, and he was lucky I couldn’t speak, or I’d be reaming him right now.

“Is she at Gavin’s apartment?”

My tongue flicked out and dashed across my nose.

“Or at your parents’ house, maybe?”

I narrowed my eyes. He could guess all he wanted, but I wouldn’t budge.

Sebastian brushed his fingers through his hair. “It’s important that shifters involved with the Mythguard are cooperative. If you aren’t going to work with me, I don’t know how well I can guarantee your placement in the organization.”

Oh, was he scolding me now? I uttered a wolfish scoff.

“In fact, we categorize shifters in our database based off of their behavior,” he spoke like he was trying to educate me. “As I recall, you’re categorized as lawful, but you’d always shown strong potential to be moved up to favorable. Everett March vouched for you as one of our top three if we were to take on another correspondent.”

I doubted that. The name burned at me.

“But if you’re going to resist, I may have to file to have you re-categorized.”

The threat was small, but it rubbed me the wrong way because I knew losing my lawful status would erase any chance I had of joining the Mythguard. They would never consider a shifter who was categorized hostile, and now Sebastian Hicks was standing before me, warning that he would do just that to me. He’d destroy that childhood dream of mine before my very eyes.

It didn’t just rub me the wrong way. It pissed me off.

Every man lately seemed to think he could beat me down. Niko, calling me a coward and taking his anger out on me. Sebastian, blackmailing me into betraying my Alpha. I fully expected the same macho ignorance from my fated mate, and that thought was what sent me over the edge, turning everyone and everything insufferable. The anger stirring inside me was feral. I couldn’t control it when my beast decided to act.

Snarling, I lunged at Sebastian and snapped my teeth, hellbent on punishing him for threatening me.

Sebastian swore and fumbled back. “Miss Mundy! This sort of behavior is completely unacceptable!”

At this point, I didn’t care. Hackles like razors rose between my shoulders. My body pushed forward, gaping jaws reaching for whatever part of him was closest to me: his hand and pants. Panic lit up in Sebastian’s eyes as he realized that I wasn’t just feinting, I was serious about how badly he had angered me. I wanted to hurt him. As he stumbled backward, I grabbed his ankle but only managed to take his pant leg in my teeth, tearing the fabric in his desperate attempt to escape. He kicked at me and bolted for his car. I pursued, wanting blood.

The tiny rational voice in the back of my head told me I was making an irreversible mistake, but I couldn’t stop. Except it wasn’t so much me doing this as it was my beast, wasn’t it? That uncontrollable anger had always plagued me. Maybe not as blatantly as it did Gavin, but enough to push me to fight. It was what made me fight Niko, and want to fight now.

Sebastian’s car door slammed and I raked my fangs against the metal, scraping away paint and denting his door. Since I couldn’t reach him, I pounded his side mirror with my paw instead, biting and twisting it. Sebastian started the car and reversed. I gave chase, avoiding being run over while he turned the car around, mindlessly snapping at his tires until the car hurtled down the road and away from the cabin.

My heart pounded so loud that I nearly forgot to breathe. Air didn’t come easily in the rain this time. My back rose and fell in jagged breaths as I stared.

There was no doubt I’d be hearing about this later. I knew exactly who I’d hear it from, too.

By the time I had returned to my human form, checking my phone for the first time since my spar with Niko that morning, I saw the incoming call from my fated mate. His name in red text indicating that I had failed to pick up. Everett March.

The call was from shortly after our Moondream, but I was still so angry I wanted to invite his criticisms that moment. I punched a text back to him, ‘I don’t suppose that was a butt dial,’ and waited.

He never answered.

Rage consumed me. I didn’t know what to do with myself.