Chapter 30: Gavin

Chapter 30: Gavin

With all that David had taken from Grandbay that I had to mourn, there was no room left in my heart to mourn Catrina. I knew that if I dwelled too long on my guilt, it would only tear me apart, so even though I hated that I had allowed myself to kill her, I accepted it for what it was: an inevitability. It never would have happened if she didn’t push me to do it. Catrina Hexen had sealed her own fate.

That night, my pack gathered in the pack house and finally laid to rest the family that we lost fifteen years ago. Shifters disappeared sometimes, and there was nothing we could do but merely accept their absence. Joshua and Shannon Rathbone were said to have taken their daughter Elizabeth and left in an attempt to mend their marriage. They never came back and my parents assumed they had found happiness elsewhere, but that wasn’t what happened. They never had a chance to find happiness. The daughter that David claimed Rebecca had left him with wasn’t a secret, illicit child at all; it was Elizabeth, her parents and Rebecca murdered by a vengeful man who couldn’t let go.

We lit candles and sat quietly, cleaning our wounds until there was no blood and Muriel could safely try to heal us. I listened to Oslo tell stories about Billie’s parents to her.

“They were good people, even your father, at his core,” said Oslo. “Even though he might have lost his way, I believe that he would have realized the harm he was causing to his family. Joshua was devoted to Grandbay. And he adored you, Billie; he was proud of you, his beautiful daughter. He and Shannon didn’t always see eye to eye, but… a relationship can be made stronger from its fractures, as long as they are allowed to heal.”

I remembered little of Joshua and Shannon. Their memories were meant to console Billie, but I could tell they troubled her; not in the way that she hated Joshua for what he’d done, but because they presented a benchmark of a family that she wanted to surpass. She didn’t want to let Joshua’s actions influence her, nor did she want her upbringing under David to define what she could become. She was better than both of them, and wouldn’t allow herself to become a victim like Shannon. “I won’t be a source of weakness to Grandbay,” Billie told everyone. “I’ve learned from my mistakes. I want to be what my parents couldn’t… I’ll be the backbone that you all deserve.”

She regretted running off in the night to find Colt. I didn’t blame her for wanting to reach out to her brother, especially after I had hurt him, but now we all knew where Colt stood alongside David. Her loyalty need not be divided between Grandbay and Dalesbloom anymore, and I had faith that she could develop into the leader that she was meant to be.

As rays of pink sunrise filtered into the pack house, my packmates gradually dispersed back to their homes until it was just me, Billie, the Mundys, and Muriel. The unicorn was exhausted from spending so much of her magic on us, and I was among the last to see her, placing my packmates before me. My gunshot wounds had closed up. The gash across my left eye sealed into a fresh pink scar and damage to my retina left my vision spotty. There was nothing more Muriel could do for me, but I would survive, as annoying as it was that David had left such a permanent reminder of his cruelty on me.

“Thank you again for caring so deeply for me,” Muriel said to us, clasping my hands in hers. “You’ve made me feel like I’m one of you.”

“You are one of us,” I told her.

She smiled softly. “I only wish my daughter could be here to take refuge in your kindness as well.”

“After we get rid of David, we’ll find her,” Aislin said with certainty.

“Yes,” said Gretel. “You’re our kin, Muriel. Your journey—and your daughter’s journey—ends with us.”

I nodded. “There will always be a place for you here.”

Muriel’s expression faltered, but it was only because she feared how her presence could endanger us. I knew she didn’t want to drag us into any more adversity than she already had. Her smile returned a moment later and she squeezed my hands. “Thank you.”

We all stood up, preparing to go. Muriel would head back to the Mundy’s house for the next few days so that I could spend time with Billie. After a reassuring hug from the silver-haired unicorn, I stepped back and watched Billie bury her face in Muriel’s shoulder, embracing her with all the love for a mother that Billie never had. Muriel Vale had become more than a refugee to us. She was a source of comfort that we all needed, and she unified us, whether she had intended to or not.

On the drive back to my apartment, we were silent. Billie had been on edge all night, and I wondered if she would even speak to me after what I’d done to Catrina. I let her lead the way up the apartment vestibule, and even after unlocking my door, I waited for her to step inside first, closing the door behind us. Once she kicked off her shoes, her shoulders sagged with a long sigh and I was compelled to come closer. My arms slid around her waist and pulled her in. She didn’t move at first, but she didn’t resist either; once she leaned her head back against my shoulder, I was relieved to find my presence welcome.

Before long, we ended up back in my bed. Billie wore a grey t-shirt of mine and a light blue thong, reclining on her stomach while her arms folded under the pillow, her eyes closed. I laid on my back with only black boxer briefs on, all my cuts and bruises exposed to the pale morning light. Our silence afforded a sense of peace that had been absent for what felt like weeks. Billie was exhausted, and I didn’t want to disturb her, so I was content to let her sleep.

A few minutes later, her eyelashes fluttered open. She peered back at me from over her arm and in the aftermath of her anger, only reticent sadness remained.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked.

She breathed in slowly. “How stupid it was of me to run off in the middle of the night.”

“Don’t,” I reassured her, rolling over and craving to be closer.

“Things could have ended so much differently.” Billie’s voice darkened.

“But now we know the truth,” I said. “Because you were brave enough to confront David.”

Her lips parted like she wanted to say something else. Instead, she propped herself up on her elbows and gently cupped my cheek, brushing her nose against mine. My heart pattered like I was a child giddily in love. “You should’ve been my first crush,” I murmured between kisses.

Billie chuckled. “I wouldn’t have been terrified of you if I grew up knowing how much of a teddy bear you are.”

“You were terrified of me?”

“Yeah.” She held my gaze with utmost seriousness.

“I guess I can’t blame you. I was a real ass.”

“It’s okay.” Billie kissed me again, her fingers gentle on my chest. “You can make up for it now.”

“I’ll be making up for it for the rest of our lives.”

She hummed in amusement, agreeing. We would both fight to defend our relationship. The fated mate bond didn’t guarantee an eternity of happiness, that much was clear, but I knew we valued one another far too much to let anything come between us.

“You should’ve been mine from the very beginning,” I sighed. “I wish I could’ve had the chance to be your boyfriend… protect you from bullies… celebrate all your accomplishments with you…”

Billie laughed with a little more strength, bowing her forehead against my shoulder. “Maybe it would’ve been me protecting you from the bullies.”

I scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous. I was the bully, sweetheart.”

“Then I would’ve been the one telling you to smarten up.” She grinned at me.

“Yeah… that’s more like it.”

We stared at each other, and I watched her smile fade as her fingertips grazed the fresh gash across my left eye, cleaving my eyebrow in half. It would take some getting used to, but I hadn’t realized how she might need to adjust to it too.

“It complements your roguish good looks,” she said, like she could read my mind.

I smiled. “As long as you think it’s sexy, that’s all that matters.”

Billie craned her neck and kissed my eyebrow. Her hand went to the pillow beside my head, slowly maneuvering her body until she hovered above me. Her desire to be close to me was the same as mine; we were magnetically attracted, and the way she allowed me to guide her onto my hips was all too natural. I ran my hand up her narrow back and held her close enough that our bodies aligned while we kissed. It didn’t take long before my erection was straining against my underwear.

“You should stop if you were hoping to nap any time soon,” I advised.

Catching her breath, Billie looked down between us and turned red in the cheeks. “Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” I teased. “I don’t care how long I have to wait until you’re ready for this.”

I watched her throat bob as she swallowed her uncertainties. Catching my eye, Billie rolled off me and brought me with her so that I was arched above her, her legs folded around my hips. She stole another kiss from me before pressing our foreheads together, breathing shallowly. “I’m ready.”

Our closeness made us irresistible to one another. It clouded our judgment and filled us with warm, tingling hunger bred by the fated bond. Nothing would fulfill me as much as becoming one with Billie, but no matter how much I wanted it, I still worried that I was pressuring her. She soothed my worries by slipping off her underwear, then sitting up, pulling her shirt over her head and tossing it aside. I did the same until we were both bare to the morning light. The few seconds it took to unwrap a condom felt like forever. My hands were all over her, squeezing her breasts and slipping a finger between her labia, delighting in how wet she was.

She shuddered. “You’re the only one I want.”

I didn’t spare a thought as to why she said that. “Same.” As a satisfied chime fell from her lips, I groaned into her neck. “I’m about to fuck you hard, Billie.”

“Gav,” she mewled. Billie wrapped her arms around me. “Make me feel good.”

“With pleasure.”

The subtle pain in my side from my healing wounds didn’t stop me from thrusting between her thighs, slowly and carefully eliminating the space between us until I felt her warmth consume me. She bit back nervous sounds, and neither of us felt it when I broke her hymen, and I glimpsed pale streaks of blood on the condom—but it didn’t stop me, and it didn’t seem to affect Billie. She all too quickly accepted the meter of my hips rocking against hers, pulling me in and pulsing around me. She was so tight it made me dizzy.

When she started moaning for me, I thought I would die.

Our fated bond came to fruition. This was how it was supposed to be between us. This was how we were meant to be. Every inch of our skin touching, her panting in my ear, her fingers on the back of my neck, her lips on mine. And when her body writhed at the crux of ecstasy, she pulled me along with her, uniting us in an overpowering climax that smothered all senses and left us burning.

By the end of it, I was braced above her, sweating and laughing, breathless. My heart was so full I could barely speak. “I love you,” I muttered, kissing her neck.

Billie sighed softly. Her happiness blossomed between us; happiness and belonging and completion like she’d never known, and neither had I. “I love you too.”

I realized I had never said it before and meant it, like I did for her.

I loved Billie more than anything.