Chapter 17: Billie

Chapter 17: Billie

That night, in a sleeping bag beside Muriel’s bed, I fell asleep feeling more at peace than I had in a long time. I chalked it up to the laugh I shared with Gavin after our water fight and how we’d spent the rest of the evening in quiet amicability, watching TV on the couch. It frightened me when he attacked at first, but after, I couldn’t stop replaying it: his arm around me, how he pressed me against the counter, how he took my hand when I helped him up. He was so much more genuine without Catrina around.

I was strangely disappointed when I woke in the morning to find Gavin gone. Aislin and Gretel were at the apartment instead preparing breakfast. When Aislin saw me, she grinned and handed me a plate of scrambled eggs and deer meat. “Eat up! We’re going for a run today.”

“As wolves?”

“Yes Ma’am,” said Aislin. “How’s your leg?”

“It’s okay.” My leg felt much better after spending yesterday recovering, but I still had my doubts. “Are you sure I’m allowed…?”

Aislin laughed. “You’re a grown ass woman, Billie Jesper. You’re allowed to go for a run.”

It was such a simple concept that how validating it was made me feel stupid. She was right, though; my isolation was unnatural, not my desire for freedom.

We walked together down the main street in Grandbay past the grocery store, past the rural houses, and into the forest populating the foothills. Aislin stripped down, stored her clothes in a backpack she’d brought, and then encouraged me to do the same. Despite being normal for werewolves, it was still strange to me; my shyness proved how sheltered I’d been by David. Worse, I was self-conscious by how much longer it took me to transform than Aislin, but she didn’t seem to mind. She waited patiently until we were both wolves—Aislin in her copper and orange fur, and me in my pale browns and golds, both of us looking like a warm autumn day. Then she tugged the fur on my flank and urged me to run with her.

I’d never ran alongside another wolf before. We flew through the trees, fast and agile as we cleared stray branches, leaping over rocks and splashing through an errant creek. I forgot my troubles for the liberation of the run, warmth, and joy coursing through my veins even as my healing leg grew sore. Aislin raced me and won and bragged playfully; and after catching our breath, she picked up the scent of a grouse, and we stalked it together. She kept it from escaping until I pounced, taking its neck between my teeth. My first kill left me feeling invigorated and stronger than ever.

Within Grandbay territory, there were no threatening smells, no ominous wolf howls, no foreboding sensation that I was being watched and judged. Aislin’s keenness to teach me made me feel welcome like I could prove my worth and belong in Grandbay; I knew I was supposed to leave, but… I’d never had a friend like Aislin before. A friend who didn’t keep secrets or expect anything of me, who wanted to see me succeed.

I was hungry again by the time we got back to the apartment. Gavin, Gretel, and Oslo were discussing the day’s patrols in the kitchen, and when I met Gavin’s eyes, he didn’t grumble or scowl; he looked aloofly at me and said, “You hunted something.”

“Yeah,” I mumbled.

“Grouse?”

He probably smelled it on me. “Yeah.”

“Nice work.”

My cheeks went hot. “Thanks,” I said, ducking back into the living room.

While Aislin stayed in the kitchen, I sat beside Muriel and told her about the run, recounting the feeling of freedom to her. She smiled, endeared by my excitement. “The transformation didn’t bother your leg, did it?”

I rolled up my pant leg and showed her how the scarring on my calf had turned tough. “It’s sore, but it’s doing better than I thought. You’re a really great healer, Muriel.”

The older woman chuckled behind her lips. “I’m glad to hear it.”

We sat together until the others entered the living room. “We’re heading out now, Muriel,” said Gretel. “Are you ready?”

“Where are you going?” I asked the unicorn.

Muriel hummed. “I need to stretch my legs too, you know.”

She needed far more protection if she was shifting than I did. When Oslo, Gretel, and Aislin left with Muriel, it was just me in the apartment with Gavin. The thought of being alone with him sent my heart into overdrive. Planning to build confidence in the spare bedroom, my path was suddenly blocked by Gavin emerging from the kitchen, sipping coffee from a mug, leading us to stare at one another.

“Isn’t it a little late for coffee…?” I mustered.

“Still got lots to do,” he said.

“Like what?”

“Tonight, harvesting onions on a farm outside of town.”

I blinked, expecting him to laugh and say he was joking. “The pack owns a farm?”

“No. A human buddy of my dad’s.” Gavin shrugged. “Been helping out for years. Need the cash.”

The last thing I expected of Gavin was that he’d spend his time laboring away for humans, but I didn’t know how he’d make money otherwise. It made sense that he’d do odd jobs around the town, especially if he grew up here; he probably knew everybody, wolf and human alike. “Can I help?”

This time he laughed. “You want to dig up onions?”

“It’ll give me something to do,” I said, not wanting to admit the allure of spending time with him.

Gavin looked at me from behind his mug. “Sure.”

Unable to help my smile, I averted my eyes and shuffled past him, continuing to the bedroom. After a few seconds, he stepped after me. “Billie,” he beckoned.

The cadence of my name on his tongue lit a fire inside me. I paused mid-step, looking back. He was closer than I expected, looming just behind my back, his coffee abandoned on a nearby shelf while his hands sunk into his pockets. The musk lifting off his skin enveloped me, drawing me to the muscular definition of his arms and chest, the ridges of his collarbones under his sloping tank top.

“I would’ve liked to see you hunt,” he said. “It would’ve been sexy.”

Sexy. The word smacked the air out of my lungs. “Really?”

“Yeah. Does that make you uncomfortable?”

“I—I—” I stammered. “I’ve never been called sexy before.”

“Maybe not to your face.”

What did he mean by that?! Was there ever a moment before our Moondream that Gavin thought I was sexy…? It wasn’t like I tried to be…

“Does it?” he repeated.

“I like it,” I said on the edge of my breath.

Gavin’s huge body dwarfed me, his smirk dark beneath his hooded eyes. He hooked the tip of his index finger inside the zipped-up zipper of my hoodie and pulled me closer. “Did you like what I was doing yesterday morning?” he murmured.

My heart thundered as I felt his body heat against me. He was so close that I wanted to touch him, but I couldn’t bring myself to unfurl my fists. “It was really new to me,” I said nervously. “I didn’t know what you were going to do.”

“What if I told you exactly what I wanted to do next time?” He slowly unzipped my sweater with just his finger.

I was on fire, craving it and afraid of it. “Is it going to hurt?”

Gavin tilted his head. “No. You’ll like this too.”

By the time my zipper was halfway down, his other hand had crept to the side of my neck, his thumb tracing my jaw. I could only watch as he opened my sweater and pulled it off, revealing my bare shoulders under my blue camisole. A growl brewed in his chest as he peered down at me. “I want you on my bed,” said Gavin.

I completely forgot how to breathe. As he took his hands off me, we were at a stalemate until I realized that his stare was actually him urging me to move on my own. My legs wobbled as I backed away, but Gavin never lost any distance between us, keeping me facing him as we crossed the last few feet of the hallway to his closed bedroom door. I glanced at the doorknob and he opened it for me, gesturing at the warm interior of his bedroom. There were clothes on the hardwood floor, a weight rack fitted with dumbbells, books piled on a dresser, a long body mirror, and his queen-sized bed with grey sheets and dark blue comforter rumpled. The smell infusing his room absorbed me, my feet moving before I realized it, and suddenly, I stood at the foot of his bed, clueless.

Gavin hovered behind me, his fingertips brushing my hips. His nose prodded behind my ear. “I said I want you on my bed.”

The back of my neck prickled. I took too long worrying about what would happen next before Gavin ensnared me in his arms and picked me up, maneuvering me onto my knees on the bed in front of him. A low chuckle rumbled behind his lips as he bent my back down and slipped his hand under my camisole, squeezing my side and then my butt. Petrified, I froze where I knelt on the bed, ass raised, stammering as Gavin pressed his groin against me.

“I have a confession to make,” he said, voice husky and low.

Dizzy from the feeling of Gavin behind me, I barely managed to reply, “What?”

“I’ve been waiting a long time for my fated mate… for all the things she’d make me feel,” Gavin said. “In case I never have another chance, I want to fuck you before you leave.”

The sheer force of everything he made me feel crushed all the words in my throat. My stomach coiled and my heart trembled at the idea that Gavin wanted me sexually; it was just our bond making me sweat, making me want that too. But he didn’t really care about me, not in the way a fated mate should. It would be stupid to let him use me like that. I was still a virgin; I couldn’t just give myself to someone I never intended to see again. “I—I don’t know.”

Gavin stopped rubbing against me, thinking for a moment, then leaned over me. “You have lots of time to make up your mind,” he said, rubbing me outside my leggings with his fingers instead.

I quivered at how enjoyable his touch was. “Please don’t pressure me into it.”

“I won’t.” Gavin breathed against my spine. “This is as far as I’ll go if you want.”

Relief flickered through me. This I could handle, probably. It was already feeling good. “Okay.”

“Do you trust me?”

That was a hard question to answer. I couldn’t trust anyone these days, except for Muriel, and maybe Aislin, but… maybe Gavin, too. He hadn’t harmed me since I arrived in Grandbay. “Yes.”

Gavin advanced onto the bed, gripping my hips and flipping me onto my back. He laid beside me and ran his hand under my top, pushing it over my breasts and kissing my chest without removing my bra. Each touch left me sizzling. My body yearned to connect with my fated mate, so I let him slip into my leggings and past my underwear, gasping at the boldness of his fingers.

He seemed to enjoy it as much as I did. His breath caught in his throat between kisses that trailed up my neck. I curled my arm around his, feeling the muscles in his forearm shift with the rotations of his wrist. Once it overwhelmed me, it was like nothing I’d ever felt before; waves of pleasure swallowed me whole and left me panting beside Gavin, weak.

“That was really hot,” he murmured into my neck. “Good job.”

My entire body was butter. “You’re good at that.”

He snickered. “I know.” Gavin propped up on his elbow and pushed his fingers against my lips. My heart rate picked back up as I tasted myself. “You want to be good at it too?” His hips pressed toward me, imposing the erection inside his jeans against my thigh.

“I—I can try.” I had no idea how to satisfy a man. Gavin was the first person I’d ever been intimate with; I was almost too nervous to move.

But my willingness had him smiling, rolling onto his back to undo his jeans. When he exposed himself, I couldn’t control the heat rushing through my body, my eyes stuck on the piece he’d barely been able to contain. His six inch cock sprang up and bobbed as he flexed the tight muscles in his groin. “All yours,” said Gavin.

It surprised me how hot his skin was when I touched him. He inhaled and rumbled with gratification, thrusting in my grip until I matched the rhythm he seemed to like best. “Billie…” groaned Gavin, leaning his head back in the sheets. All I could do was focus on him, leaning above him and admiring the throbbing in his abdomen, the staggering rises in his throat. Just doing this to him was making me excited again; it made me want to feel his fingers inside me again, and I got lost in a hurricane of lascivious thoughts before Gavin suddenly moved my hand away and cupped his dick. Wide-eyed, I watched him finish with a tremble through his body and a satisfied moan.

Gavin laid there for a moment, then looked over at me. “I was holding that in since yesterday morning.”

I never thought about how Gavin dealt with his arousal before then. It tickled me to think of him being horny, trying to hide it, ignore it or eventually deal with it.

Sighing, he sat up and cleaned himself using tissues from the box on the table beside his bed. Then laying back down, Gavin stretched his arm, inviting me into his warmth. I hesitated. That was a dangerous position for two fated mates who didn’t plan on being together. But the long, steely stare he gave me coaxed me into his arm, where he wrapped me up and got comfortable. My face nestled below his jaw.

“Just waiting for the brain fog to clear,” he mumbled, “then I’ll get up.”

“It’s alright,” I said quietly, snaking my arm around his chest.

My eyes closed, but my body remained alert, waiting for Gavin to remove me once he’d recovered from his haze. As the minutes ticked on, my mind wandered; but it wasn’t until I heard Gavin gently snoring that I realized we’d be here for a while. His farm work wasn’t until this evening. I let my body relax, savoring his closeness despite knowing better.