Chapter Seven

CHAPTER SEVEN

J azz stared numbly at the stack of pancakes in front of her. Why had she thought she could eat? She had gone to bed last night with rocks in her stomach that now felt like boulders. She’d gotten almost no sleep, with nightmares waking her every few moments. Though the nightmares had changed up each time, they all consisted of the same horror—OZ and Brody in a deadly shootout. In some, a member of her OZ family was shot. In some, Brody was killed. In one, Xavier made a daring maneuver to capture Brody and was shot point-blank…by her brother.

In the last nightmare, everyone was dead, and she was walking through a yard strewn with the dead bodies of her OZ family and Brody. Too afraid to close her eyes again, she had gotten out of bed after that one.

When Xavier had knocked on her door to see if she wanted to go down for breakfast, she had already been dressed and had eagerly agreed. Getting out of the hotel room had seemed vitally important.

Last night, after the meeting with the team, they’d barely spoken to each other. The moment they’d gotten back to their hotel, without a word to Xavier other than a muttered, “Good night,” she had gone straight to her room and locked her door. Maybe it had been cowardly of her, but she had needed to be alone.

Allowing herself to think about the way she had hoped their evening would end had been too painful to even contemplate. Their kiss before they’d left for the restaurant had been what she had hoped was the beginning of something bright and beautiful. But that dream was gone, dead like so many other dreams she’d once had. There was no way she and Xavier could ever have more than what they had now. And if she kept going down this secretive path, even that would be destroyed.

She had never kept a secret from him. Or the team. Yes, she had prevaricated a time or two when she’d been questioned about her past and what she had endured. The darkness that came with those memories was best buried deep in an abyss. She never wanted them to see the light of day again. But this was completely different. This secret involved an ongoing OZ mission. Keeping such significant intel to herself went against everything she believed in.

And still, when she’d had the opportunity to reveal all, she had kept quiet.

Brody, her gentle, caring, overprotective brother, was a killer. She simply could not wrap her head around that fact. What could have happened to completely transform his personality? People didn’t just change like that.

Was this why he had disappeared? Had he been kidnapped and brainwashed? That might seem like a ridiculous premise, but it was no more unbelievable than the idea that her gentle, loving brother was a paid assassin. It just didn’t seem possible.

Did this go all the way back to Arthur and his search for them? She hadn’t thought about that creep in years, but had he had something to do with Brody’s disappearance? If so, why? What could the man have gotten from either of them? It made no sense.

A large male hand appeared in her line of vision, touching her wrist gently. “I’m sorry, Jazz. I had no idea what I said to you last night at the restaurant would have this kind of effect on you.”

Dragging her attention back to the present, she stared at the man across from her. If anyone would understand what she was going through, it would be Xavier. Her partner might be a badass undercover operative with eight-pack abs and muscles for days, but he somehow got her. The moment they’d met, she’d felt a connection with him, as if they’d known each other in a different life.

That connection had saved their lives numerous times, but when it came to Brody, that connection failed them. She knew he understood her love for her brother and her need to find him, but there was always a tension between them when they talked about Brody. Xavier had never hidden how he felt. It angered him that her brother had left her…that he had abandoned her. But he hadn’t known Brody, didn’t know how caring and protective he had been.

Last night, when Xavier had confronted her about not asking the entire OZ team to search for him had been the first time he’d pushed her. She and Xavier were often blunt to the point of pain with each other. They were both strong-willed, opinionated people, and that had always worked well for them. The subject of her brother was one line Xavier refused to change his mind on.

“I don’t think I’ve ever hated your brother as much as I do right now.”

Her head snapped up. “What?”

“Well, at least that got you to look at me.”

“What gives you the right to hate him? You don’t know him.”

“He abandoned you. That’s all I need to know.”

“You don’t know what happened to him. He never would have left if he’d had a choice.”

“And you’re sure of this?”

No.

And that had been the crux of her reluctance to bring the entire OZ team in on finding him, the seed of doubt that he had left her willingly. What if she had been a liability to Brody in more ways than one? As much as she wanted to believe he hadn’t voluntarily abandoned her, she feared that he’d wanted to wash his hands of a responsibility that never should have been his in the first place. They weren’t related by blood. Just because his dad married her mom shouldn’t have forced him to feel responsible for her. Maybe he’d realized that and decided to cut out on his own.

Even as she had the thought, she felt guilty for even going there. No brother had ever been more loyal or caring than Brody. And now, knowing that he had assassinated Bass, she knew her original fears were real—something awful must have happened to change him so completely.

What would happen if she told Xavier that Brody had been the shooter? OZ would go after him. While he needed to be found, what could happen once he was found was what terrified her. Those nightmares she’d had might become all too real.

No. She had to find him on her own. Once she did, she would persuade him to go with her to OZ so they could work this out together. The only way to make sure everyone stayed safe was if she found him first.

“I’m going to take a leave of absence from OZ.”

His expression was a mixture of shock and regret. “What? Why? Because of what I said? Jazz…sweetheart?—”

“No…not really. But it did get me to thinking that time off would be good for me. Give me some distance. Some perspective.”

“You’re going to do that now? While we’re in the middle of an op?”

“The op got redirected last night because of…” She swallowed hard and continued, “Because of the shooting. All we’re doing now is running down leads. Hawke can easily come back and help you out.”

“Jazz…no.” He took her hand in his and squeezed gently. “Sweetheart, don’t do this. Let’s work this out together.”

The tenderness in his touch, in his eyes, his soft words were almost her undoing. Keeping her emotions in check was the only way she was going to get through this. Xavier meant more to her than anyone in the world, and she trusted him with her life. Unfortunately, she couldn’t trust him with her brother’s life. Not now.

She gave a brief squeeze to his hand and then pulled away. Getting to her feet, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be in touch.”

She turned and sped away, knowing if she didn’t move fast, she’d spill her guts.

Every fiber of his being urged Xavier to stop her. His heart slammed heavily against his chest, and his muscles ached from the force of staying seated. This was all on him. He’d pushed her too hard last night. Brody was a hot-button issue for them. And he freely admitted that he wasn’t good at hiding how he felt about her deadbeat brother.

She had practically run out of the restaurant, making it more than clear that she wanted to get away from him.

Maybe this time off would be good for her. After she’d almost died in that op in Zambia, everyone had urged her to stay off for a few more weeks, but she had refused. He and Ash had both agreed that while Jazz hadn’t been fully healed, she needed to work. Everyone at OZ had demons they fought on a daily basis. Staying focused on a case helped keep those demons at bay. He’d been there, done that. Scar tissue from a thousand hurts had toughened him up, and he’d learned to deal. Working helped Jazz deal, too.

Guilt ate at him because he knew he was the biggest reason she needed time away. He stood, threw down enough money to pay the bill along with a generous tip, and strode out the door. Five seconds later, his phone buzzed, and he didn’t even have to check the screen to know the identity of the caller.

“Hawke will be there by midnight.”

The grimness in Ash’s voice told him everything he needed to know. His boss was pissed.

“It was her decision, Ash.”

“Yeah, and you didn’t help the situation, did you?”

He already felt like a shithead. Having his boss confirm his thoughts didn’t help.

“No, I didn’t,” Xavier admitted. “What’d she tell you?”

“Just that she needs time off. You know Jazz. She’s not one to share more than the bare minimum.”

And that was the heart of the problem. He probably knew more about Jazz than anyone at OZ, and still he felt as though he’d yet to scratch the surface. She kept so much of her thoughts and feelings to herself.

“Maybe this time away will give her the impetus to finally go after him for real.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Ash said. “We just need to give her what she needs. Whatever that is, without judgment.” Before Xavier could delve too deeply into those stinging words, Ash switched gears and said, “Serena pulled the camera footage around the restaurant.”

“Let me guess. It shows nothing.”

“Yeah. Inside and out. Feed cut off for about ten minutes.”

“How far of an area did she go out?”

“Five blocks. Did find an ATM camera that got a brief shot of the SUV Jazz described. Windows were tinted. Couldn’t see a thing. Not able to see a license plate.”

“Okay. I’ll head over to the restaurant and start the interviews. The police have anything?”

“Guess you haven’t looked at your OZ alerts.”

Xavier cursed silently as he clicked the link. He’d heard a notification at the restaurant, but it had come in the middle of Jazz’s announcement, and he had ignored it. He was definitely off his game.

Xavier quickly read the alert.

Shootout in Cedar Park, about an hour outside Seattle. The man suspected of killing Franco Bass was shot and killed by the FBI.

Shaking his head in disgust, Xavier held the phone to his ear. “That was quick.”

“Yeah. They’re saying he was a disgruntled former employee, always a good ploy.”

“Happens so often nobody gives it a second look.”

“All tied up with a pretty bow.”

“Okay. I’ll start digging.”

It’d been a while since he’d done an investigation without Jazz. He already missed her intelligent wit and dry sense of humor. He’d give her a week and then reach out to her. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, she needed her OZ family. She needed him.

And yes, he definitely needed her.