Chapter Thirty-Three

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

X avier knew he was running out of time. The last few days had been perfect, but they couldn’t last forever. Jazz had come a long way in her recovery, and while she wasn’t completely healed, she was close. A few more weeks and she should be one hundred percent. He knew he needed to talk with her about the intel he and Ash had gotten from Kate. He also knew what would happen when he did. She’d want answers immediately, and since he had none to give her, she would want to leave to find them out for herself.

Kate Walker likely had those answers, and without a doubt, Jazz would want to confront her. He wouldn’t blame her, but that didn’t mean she should forge ahead without caution. She wasn’t fully recovered, and she was still in danger, whether she wanted to acknowledge either of those things or not.

While he and Jazz had taken these days for themselves, Ash and the team had been hard at work, trying to find the bastard responsible for her abduction. So far, they’d come up with a thousand possibilities and no real leads.

“Xavier…earth to Xavier.”

He looked over his shoulder to find Jazz standing at the door of his office, grinning. “What? Did you say something?”

“I’ve been calling your name for the past five minutes.”

He quirked a brow. “Five minutes?”

“Well, okay, not that long. But at least a minute. Where’s your mind?”

“Just thinking about some things.”

The light in her eyes dimmed. “Something happened? You got new intel?”

“No, and that’s the problem. This guy in Chicago. He shouldn’t be that hard to find.”

“What about the prints at the kennel?”

“Serena said most of them were too smudged to come up with anything decent. Her people are still working on them, but she’s not optimistic.”

“Nothing else on the dead guy?”

That had been one of the easier questions to answer. Kip Warring had been a local thug who’d hired himself out to various people, many associated with the Irish mob. But from what they could find, he hadn’t attached himself to any group full time. The other man Jazz had shot was still a mystery. No unknown dead bodies had turned up with a chest wound. No one had checked into a nearby ER for treatment. Whatever had happened to him, he was either lying low, or he was dead and hadn’t been discovered yet.

“The camera feed? She wasn’t able to trace it?”

“No, it got cut off, and the line was corrupted.”

“The good thing is that even though the main guy is still out there, there’s no way he can figure out where I am now.”

“True, but we need to find him. He can’t get away with what he did. Plus, he’s never going to stop looking.”

“I’ve been thinking about why he would want me. He knew my name. I don’t use my real name for anything. Even my car is registered under an alias.”

Even though he was glad she was feeling stronger and was ready to fully discuss why she’d been taken, Xavier didn’t know if he was ready. What lay ahead was going to hurt Jazz, and he’d do anything to keep that from happening.

“My apartment, credit cards, driver’s licenses, passports—they’re all in different names and can’t be traced back to Jasmine McAlister. And when the old guy said my name, he was very smug, as if he knew I’d be shocked that he knew it.” She frowned and shook her head. “Unless this goes back to when Brody and I ran away from Arthur. But that was two decades ago. He can’t still be alive.”

“Arthur Kelly is dead. Serena tracked him down a while ago. He’s been gone for years.”

She froze in front of him as awareness entered her eyes. Instead of asking questions about the man who’d abused both her and her brother when they were kids, she honed in on one thing only. “You’ve been keeping things from me.”

“You didn’t need to?—”

She held up her hand to stop him. “I can’t believe what an idiot I’ve been. I knew everyone was working on this back at OZ, but how stupid of me not to consider that you would keep any leads or intel from me.” Her fingers went up in air quotes as she added sarcastically, “ For my own good .” Her eyes narrowed accusingly. “Did you take that responsibility on yourself? Keeping things from me? Or is everyone in on it?”

Xavier snorted. “It’s not a conspiracy, Jazz. If I thought there was anything I could tell you that would help identify the bastard who did this, I would have told you. You needed this time to recover.”

She took a few more seconds to just glare at him, likely hoping to guilt him into spilling his guts. When that didn’t work, she crossed her arms in front of her in a move he knew all too well. Jazz in her most stubborn, most defiant pose. “Very well. I have recovered. It’s time to tell me what you know.”

Well, hell.

Jazz ground her teeth to keep from spewing more anger at Xavier. She knew his protection came from a good place. Arrogance? Yes, without a doubt, but also from his heart. He cared about her and wanted to keep her from harm. However, that should never, ever include not telling her the things she needed, and deserved, to know.

“This no-secrets things we agreed to—I didn’t know it was one-sided.”

“Dammit, Jazz. It’s?—”

“Trust is a hard thing for me, Xavier. You know that better than anyone.”

“I do, baby. But your health was, and is, my priority.” Surging up from his chair, he wrapped his hands around her upper arms and stared down at her. “You almost died, sweetheart.”

“How would you feel if the roles were reversed? Would you be okay if I kept information from you for your own good?”

Letting go of her arms, he turned away and shoved his fingers through his hair. She knew the answer to her own question. He would be infuriated. It was the same old excuse that had been used before. She was too young, too fragile-looking, too innocent.

“If you don’t see me as an equal, Xavier, how can we keep on working together? How can you trust me to watch your back if you don’t think I can handle it?”

“That’s an absurd example,” he snapped. “Of course I trust you to watch my back. I’ve trusted you on every op, every step of the way.” He strode toward her again, grabbed both her shoulders and shook her lightly. “You. Almost. Died. Do you get that? I couldn’t find you. I had no idea who’d taken you.”

His throat worked as he swallowed, and then he said hoarsely, “I almost lost you, Jazz. I never want to go through that again.”

Instead of growling at him like she should, she found herself patting his forearms, trying to soothe him. “I know that, and a big part of the reason it happened was because I made the stupid mistake of going off on my own. I’m not going to do that again. But we’ve got to get back on even ground, or our partnership isn’t going to survive.”

“You’re right.” Backing away, he gestured toward the sofa. “Sit down, and I’ll tell you what I know.”

Since Xavier’s expression looked almost as dour as it had after they’d found her in Chicago, Jazz braced herself. Whatever it was, she could handle it. She was no weak-kneed Nelly. Whatever they’d discovered, she’d deal.

“Before I get started, tell me—have you talked to Kate?”

Startled at the question, Jazz shook her head. “Just briefly when I was in the hospital. We’ve texted back and forth since then but mostly with her checking to see how I’m doing. What’s Kate got to do with what you found out?”

“When you disappeared, Ash called Kate to see if she could offer some kind of intel.”

“Wait.” Jazz held up her hand. “Something I should have mentioned before. I don’t want to get Kate in trouble, but when I went off-grid to look for Brody, I asked Kate to pull traffic cam footage around the restaurant. I didn’t tell her why, and bless her, she didn’t ask. I know that’s not likely related to what we’re talking about, but I thought I should mention it. I don’t want her to get in trouble on my account.”

When Xavier’s eyes narrowed and his mouth tightened, Jazz wondered if it did have something to do with that after all. Still, she waited, hoping he’d get on with whatever he had to tell her.

“Kate never mentioned that you’d called her. But that’s not why I asked. Ash went to see her. When he’d called her about your disappearance, he could tell she was holding back information, so he went to confront her. She’s the one who told us to go to Chicago. She also told us to check into the Byrne family.”

“Byrne? Who are they?”

Instead of answering, he said, “What do you know about your birth father, Jazz?”

If Xavier had pulled a rabbit out of his ear, he couldn’t have surprised her more. “My birth father? Not much.”

Her mother had never shied away from telling her how Jazz had come to be. The love Eliza had had for her daughter had been more than enough for two parents. And then when Connor McAlister had appeared in their lives, bringing Brody with him, their family had been perfect and complete.

“My mom told me his name was Stan Hensley, although she later learned that was a lie. She said she met him when she was out with friends one night. They started seeing each other and had a brief, passionate affair. He told her he was in town on business. Then one day, he just stopped calling. She went to where he’d told her he was staying, and they had no record of a man by that name. She found out a few weeks later that she was pregnant with me. She never heard from him again.”

She remembered how her mother had talked about her surprise pregnancy, saying her biggest mistake had turned into her greatest blessing.

“He likely told your mother that lie because he didn’t want her to know he had a wife and son in Chicago.”

Her heart dropped. She didn’t know why. Nothing really had changed. She was still Jazz McAlister, but she hated that her precious mother had been betrayed and lied to so cruelly.

“So who was he?”

“Ronan Byrne. Head of the Chicago Irish mob.”

She was glad she was sitting, because she was sure her legs would have just given out. Her real father was a mobster? That would be laughable if it wasn’t so tragic. He was a liar, a cheater, and a criminal.

“Does he still live in Chicago? Did he have something to do with my abduction?”

“No, he’s dead. He, his wife, and son were killed in a car crash more than twenty years ago.”

Wow, so she’d had a father who was a mobster and a half brother she hadn’t known about. And they were both dead. Nothing about this felt right or good.

“Okay.” She shook her head quickly to clear it from information overload. “So how does this relate to my abduction? Did the old guy have a problem with Byrne? Did he want revenge or something?”

“We’re not sure. Since we still don’t know who took you, it’s hard to say. But the fact that he knew your name and was from the same city seems too coincidental to not be related in some way.”

That was a lot to process in such a short amount of time. And even though the information was surprising, it still didn’t really answer any questions.

“I need to see Kate,” she said. “She’s got to have more information.”

“I agree.”

“Why wouldn’t she tell me about this? And how does she even know this stuff?”

“I don’t know. She won’t tell Ash either. Says all of this is bigger than what we think it is.”

“What’s bigger?”

“I don’t know, Jazz.”

Rising from the sofa, Jazz headed out the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to pack. I want answers, and she’s going to give them to me.”

“Jazz, wait.”

Turning back to him, Jazz shivered as she watched Xavier turn from the gentle, understanding man he’d been for the last few weeks into the grim-faced OZ operative. She recognized that expression well and had always appreciated how fierce and immovable he’d looked against their enemies. This was the first time he’d looked at her with that unflinching resolve.

Refusing to buckle under the obvious intimidation tactic, she snarled, “What?”

“Your leave isn’t over.”

Crossing her arms in front of her, she glared at him. “Excuse the childish rebuttal, but you’re not the boss of me. I damn well come and go as I please.”

“No, I’m not your boss, but I am the one who has the keys to the only vehicle out of here. It’s a twenty-mile hike down the mountain, babe. I don’t think you have it in you to get down there on foot.”

She could feel the fury begin from the bottom of her feet as it surged upward toward her head. Of all the arrogant, self-aggrandizing, smug jerks!

“Is this how you want to play this, Xavier? We go from being lovers to being enemies?”

Though his expression never thawed, his eyes dulled with sadness. “No, Jazz, that isn’t what I want at all. You’re the one who decided to change course. You agreed to six weeks off. It’s barely been three weeks, and you’re ready to fly out of here without a single thought to your well-being.”

“I’m not going to take off again, but I deserve answers. After all I’ve been through, I deserve the truth.”

“Yes, you do. And you’ll get the truth, but there’s not a thing out there that can’t wait until you’re physically able to handle it.”

All the air went out of her body. Yes, she was still weak, still recovering, but her brain was fine. Xavier wasn’t going to relent, though. She knew him well. When it came to setting his mind on something, he didn’t back down, no matter how tough it got.

“Fine,” she snapped. “But it’s time I stopped sitting around and wasting time. I need to get into the gym and get stronger.”

“Fine,” he snapped back.

Huffing out her displeasure, Jazz whirled and stomped toward the bedroom. She pulled out a pair of workout shorts and a T-shirt. She would do her workout and pretend that her heart wasn’t breaking.

His fists pounding into the leather, Xavier went after the boxing bag like it was his number one enemy. Every bit of ire, fury, and frustration was let loose on the innocuous gym equipment. In his mind, he named the people he held responsible for the shitshow that had just taken place in his den. His first target was Kate Walker. She knew things—things that threatened Jazz’s safety. He didn’t care how much she had helped OZ over the years. She had no right to hold on to intel that could put Jazz’s life in jeopardy.

The second person was the man who’d abducted her. For reasons they still didn’t know—although it was looking that, more than likely, it had something to do with her birth father.

And that was the third person on his list. The man who’d lied to a vulnerable young woman, leaving her alone and pregnant. Even though Eliza McAlister had raised an amazing young woman, that didn’t negate the damage a lying, piece-of-crap adulterer had done to them both.

Though the bag was getting crowded with the faces of people he wanted to punish, he added one more to the list. And that was Xavier himself.

It didn’t matter that he’d kept the truth from Jazz to keep from hurting her. No one, especially someone as independent as Jazz, appreciated being lied to for their own good. It went against every thing he believed about her. She was strong, resilient, and well-adjusted enough to handle anything anyone dished out to her. She’d just survived almost two weeks of torture and abuse. Hell yes, she could handle the truth.

He just hadn’t wanted to give it to her and see the light die in her eyes.

A slight draft of air alerted him that she’d come into the room. He knew why she was there. She was going to get stronger and be ready for the last day of her “imprisonment.”

At that thought, Xavier delivered one last agonizingly hard punch to the bag in front of him. Jazz had accused him of keeping her prisoner. After what she’d already gone through, how the hell could he do that?

He turned, ready to apologize. He’d get down on his knees if he had to. He’d help her pack and give her the SUV keys. If she really wanted to go, he wouldn’t stop her. The instant he saw what she was trying to do, his mind instantly shut that down. Hell, she couldn’t even lift a twenty-five-pound weight. This wasn’t about making sure she didn’t get hurt. This was about making sure she didn’t get killed, or get anyone else killed. OZ operatives didn’t go out into the field unless they were one hundred percent. She was barely forty, if that.

As if aware that he was staring at her, she dropped the weight on the floor and said, “I called my doctor to see what I need to do. He sent me a list of rehab exercises.”

He took a step toward her. “Good. I can help you?—”

“No.” Turning to face him, she lifted her chin and glared at him. “I agree I’m not strong enough yet, and I won’t fight you to leave. But that doesn’t mean I forgive you. For weeks, you’ve known something deeply personal about me, and you hid it.”

He was not going to let her get away with that.

“And you’ve never kept anything from me? Like not telling me that the shooter was Brody?”

She had the grace to flush, and even as frustrated and angry as he was, he felt his heart turn over and a pebble of guilt gnaw at his conscience. He knew why she hadn’t told him, and he’d forgiven her. To use that against her felt wrong. But not nearly as wrong as letting her go out while she was weak and unprepared to fight.

“Fine. We’ve both lied to each other,” she said. “It’s fairly obvious we don’t trust each other like we should. Maybe it’s best if we end this.”

The anger he’d managed to slightly quash furled back up at an astounding rate.

“End what exactly?”

“Us. Maybe…”

Before she could finish that sentence, he was on her. He would never raise a hand to her in anger, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to make sure she knew how infuriated he was.

“Listen to me, Jazz McAlister, and listen good. What we have is more than not telling each other information. It’s more than an argument, a disagreement, or a damned OZ mission. You don’t get to back away when things get rough and uncomfortable. You fight. Don’t start being a coward now.”

As their eyes locked in a battle of emotions and anger, Xavier held his breath to see which road she would take. He was not about to give up on her. He loved her, and he knew, even if she hadn’t said it, that she loved him, too. What they had was too special to let angry words destroy it.

Disappointing him, she backed away and said, “I need to work out.” Turning her back to him, she picked up a smaller dumbbell and began lifting.

He knew he could continue their argument. And he might even persuade her to make a concession, but it wouldn’t be permanent. Jazz had to work this out herself.

He just hoped that when she did, she remembered how great these past few days had been and what they could have.