7. Kye

SEVEN

KYE

"I can't believe you roped me into doing this." I tried to keep an open mind about all of it. I needed to be here tonight so she would come with me to show Holt that I was not trying to completely fuck up my life, but these parties seemed a hell of a lot less fun when I had to be on good behavior.

"I still can't believe you agreed."

She smiled up at me again, and I tried to ignore the way I wanted to keep looking at her smile. Who cared about someone's smile?

"I can't imagine I am going to be welcome at another frat party. I'm sure Dean didn't hesitate to bitch about me to anyone who would listen," I said, clearing my throat and trying to put my focus back on the house.

She rolled her eyes hard, but she still had a smile. "Yeah, right. You are trouble and that's what this place runs on. I'm sure anything Dean could say would only elevate your status with these guys."

"True, and spending my entire night pissing a guy off while I get to hang around the girl he wants is what fantasies are made of. Think of how mad he is going to be."

Her hand wrapped around my bicep, and I ripped it away. It didn't matter if I didn't have a problem with it last time, my instinct would always be to not be touched, and this was no different.

"Sorry," she said, eyes wide. "Did I hurt you?"

"No. Sorry. I didn't realize you were going to do that."

I almost regretted it when I saw the shock on her face, but I didn't feel bad for long when I knew the pain that I would feel with her hands on me could be worse.

"I thought we could stop for a second. Just kind of get on the same page before we walk in," she said, but I was still lost to the thought of her hand on me, even for a second.

I liked when people were scared to bother me more. It was easier to hide your hate for being touched when people were too scared to touch you, but the way she had so easily reached out to hold on to me made me uneasy. I didn't let people close enough to even think they could touch me, and that let me keep this entire problem a secret. I knew the weird way people acted when I told them the truth.

"About?"

"On if you can play the part well enough, because now I'm a little concerned. You know, kiss me here and there, touch me all night, stuff like that."

"Touching you all night? Is that what I have to do?" I could hear the strain in my voice.

"I don't know, Kye," she said with a laugh. "How have you acted with previous girlfriends?"

I gave a harsh laugh and leaned back on the bench they had near the end of the walkway. People wandered past, but no one stopped to bother us. "If we go off of that, I probably wouldn't be touching you."

"What? Why? I assume you're all over the girls you hang around."

"The girls I hang around are my friends and are also dating my friends, so no, not hanging all over them."

"I meant the ones you're sleeping with."

"Yeah, that's who I meant when I said I probably wouldn't be touching them all night. Listen, Daisy. I'm not…" I groaned, hating to admit anything about myself, especially to someone who would really not understand. "I'm not a very touchy person. Like at all. I'm just not good at it, or with it? I'm not mad about last weekend, but thinking about doing it again… I don't want you to get all pissed, but I pretty much keep to myself. It might not cross my mind to do whatever it is you want. I really don't think I can play the fake boyfriend like you are hoping I can."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"That's a surprise. You seemed so good at it the other night. You played the part so perfectly."

"Yeah, maybe an off night or caught up in fucking with your boyfriend. I just don't want you to get the wrong idea."

"No, of course not. You being here for me tonight is enough. I won't expect more," she said, smoothing out her skirt, her eyes suddenly not meeting mine.

"Alright. I'll do what I can to keep up your appearances."

Her smile seemed a little forced, but she still waved for me to follow her.

The rooms were already packed, the music blaring, sending a little thrill of adrenaline through me. I liked the mess and chaos of a party. I could get lost in the crowd and no one would care who I was or why I was there.

I could fight and rage and yell, but people were okay with it.

This wasn't one of those times.

As soon as I walked in, Daisy moved closer, angling herself at my side like she belonged there. I guess for the night, she did. Besides the crew, I wasn't used to someone at my side. My hands twitched at the thought that I would need to touch her. It hadn't been bad, and I tried to remember that, but it also felt stupid to think it could give me that same feeling again.

The pain and disgust at being touched had become so normal and comforting to me. It felt wrong that it hadn't happened when she touched me. And worst of all, in the panic of it all, I was starting to think about trying it again. If it was a fluke, a random night of being high, then I could try it again and stop worrying about it.

Not if it was a fluke. I knew it had been, and now I was just driving myself crazy, thinking it wasn't.

We sat down on an older couch, the room of people taking glances at us. I leaned over, whispering to her. "I feel like an animal in a zoo. They are staring."

She laughed, her hand resting on my leg for a second before she realized what she was doing and pulled away. "With those tattoos and that face? Where else should they be looking?"

"I do not like attention," I whispered, not missing the liquid heat that rolled through me as her scent hit me. I couldn't place what it was, the mix of lavender and mint made a strange combination. I leaned in closer, her soft hair brushing against my nose. I wasn't close enough to be touching her, but it was the closest I had willingly been to anyone in months, and it felt more intimate than I liked.

But I still didn't move.

She sucked in a hard breath, angling her neck and giving me more access if I wanted it, but I didn't take it.

As much as I didn't touch or get touched, I watched people. Over the years, I had become just as fluent in the body language of people as someone with more experience. I always thought it helped me navigate not being touched and now was no different. I could see that Daisy was okay if I wanted to lean in further, and I thought it was strange that I liked her wanting it.

"You smell amazing," I said.

"I'm glad you think so. I was pretty pleased with my body wash selection," she said with a quiet laugh.

"You're telling me your entire body smells like this?" I asked.

"I would think so."

A feeling that I didn't know rolled through me, making me need to sit back up and roll my shoulders to hide the shake of them. I couldn't say anything, my throat tight and my body nearly shaking as I tried to calm whatever strange feeling was growing in the pit of my stomach.

It seemed like an hour went by as we sat there together before I leaned back in, not able to help myself from getting closer again. "These people are wild, and I don't mean in the way I am. Are those two fighting over that guy?"

Her eyes followed mine until she saw the two girls yelling at each other. I couldn't hear what all they were saying, but she seemed to know already. "Oh, yeah. They are constantly fighting over the same guy. Always a different guy, but they are fighting over one."

"Is that what you do?"

"No. I'm more of a one guy kind of girl, and not a guy who would entertain another girl."

"Ahh, but somehow Dean made the cut?" She was so close, and all I wanted to do was sit here, whispering to her all night. " Fuck , you really do smell amazing."

It was the smell. It was getting to my head and drawing me in. It had nothing to do with her, just the scent.

"For someone who doesn't want to touch me, you sure are getting close."

"Sorry," I said, pulling back hard. She was right. I always kept my distance, and here I was, leaning back into her.

"No, I didn't say I had an issue with it." The small smile reached her eyes, her amusement with this clear. I couldn't imagine she knew what was wrong with me, but now I was questioning if she found out somehow.

We watched as a girl got up on the table in front of us and started dancing. Daisy watched her and sighed.

"Do you have a problem with her up there?" I asked.

"No."

"Then why the huffing about it?"

"Because sometimes I wonder what it's like to be able to do that, and not care what everyone else in the room is thinking. She doesn't care if we are judging or enjoying it. She doesn't care what we are thinking, she cares that she is having fun."

"Oh, so you are jealous of her, then?"

Her eyes flew to me as though I said something terrible.

"I am not jealous."

"But you are? You want to be doing that and not caring what people think about it."

She was quiet, her eyes not leaving mine. "Maybe."

"Then go."

"Go what?"

"Get up there and do exactly what you want to be doing."

"What would people say about me doing that?"

"They will say, wow, look at her having fun. I better not say shit or her…boyfriend," I said, smirking, "will kick my ass." I pulled out a cigarette and rolled it through my fingers. I needed something, anything , to keep me from testing out touching her again.

"You think you can kick anyone's ass and that gives you a free pass to do whatever you want?"

"I think if you're scary enough, people will think twice about sharing their stupid thoughts out loud. Who cares what they think? Do their thoughts change your life?"

"They could."

"Then they have too much power over your life. Do what you want tonight. If anyone says shit, it gives me an excuse to get into a fight."

"You really like fighting, don't you?"

I held out my hand, my knuckles still red and puffy from a fight two nights ago.

"Go," I demanded.

Daisy rolled her eyes, but got up and headed towards the girl on the table. I didn't take Daisy for the partying type, but there she was, letting the girl pull her up onto the table along with her.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was smiling so hard, it had to hurt.

Another song came on and she kept moving. Her eyes would find mine here and there, apparently making sure I didn't leave, but there was nowhere else I could think I wanted to be. I couldn't move, every part of me frozen as I watched her move. The same heat flowed through my veins again, warming every part of me until I felt lighter. It felt like a high, the warm, tingling sensation leaving my head feeling a little lighter.

A guy came up, standing in front of me and blocking my view of her. The heat was immediately replaced with rage. It was clear I had been looking at her. I kicked at the back of his leg, hitting it once and planning to do it harder if he didn't get the hint.

I wasn't going to miss a second of Daisy on that fucking table.

He finally saw me, his eyebrows shooting up, and the way his eyes narrowed a bit to let me know he wasn't a fan of mine. When I looked at his shirt, I knew why.

Shit.

He was a part of the football team, which meant he knew Dean. I wondered if that meant he knew Daisy, too.

Which meant that Dean could be coming over any second if he was here.

For the first time in my life, I didn't want a fight. I wanted Daisy to keep enjoying her night uninterrupted and me to keep watching, uninterrupted.

I wanted to keep looking at her dance on the table like she didn't give a fuck what anyone else here was thinking because I was starting to think it might be the first time she had ever not cared.

Like clockwork, Dean walked in, his eyes falling on her immediately, not seeing me sitting here watching his every move.

I took a long drag of the cigarette, shaking the thoughts from my mind.

Of course I wanted to fucking fight. Besides taking off in my car after this, that was all I needed to want to do, not worry about Daisy and her thoughts.

He said something against her ear, the music too loud for me to hear, but her eyebrows went up and she seemed to prompt him to say more.

But then she looked at me, the hard look in her eyes not giving much away. It was the only sign I needed. By the time I made it to them, he was already reaching out to touch her.

"Unless you want that football playing arm broken, don't touch her," I said, taking another drag of the cigarette.

Dean's eyes narrowed at my words, and he pulled his arm out of my reach. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

I grinned and stepped closer to Daisy. "What do you mean? I like going to parties with my girlfriend. Is that a problem?"

Daisy smiled as she moved to sit down on the table next to me. Dean's eyes raked down her body. The small smirk on his face almost made me punch him right there. He didn't care that I was there. He thought he still owned her. He knew she was better than this for real, and he wasn't buying our lie.

Lucky for Daisy, there wasn't much I wouldn't do to win this game. I stepped closer, parting her legs until they were pressed at my sides. Her arms wound around my neck and she pulled herself closer until our bodies were flush against each other. I hid my flinch, my body going stiff against her, but I ignored it.

The pain didn't come. My stomach didn't roll, but my body couldn't forget years and years of it being there.

Then her lips came to my ear. "Is this okay?"

I wanted to close my eyes as the shiver ran down my back, her breath against my ear almost making me collapse, like I suddenly lost all control of my body.

"Yeah," I said, the words tight.

"While this is already pretty hot, you really don't have to fight him or anything," she whispered.

"Whatever you want," I said, loud enough for Dean to only hear my part.

I tried to keep my breathing calm as she pressed against me, but my heart hammered in my chest.

It shouldn't be happening.

I should be focusing on the fight to drown out the pain of her touching me, but I was drowning out the fight to focus on her hands, her legs, her lips against my ear.

A quiet hum filled my body, and I wanted to scream. Where was the pain, the pure disgust? Where was the instinct to fight her off of me?

She grinned, and I knew the look. It was the same type of look that I got when I came up with a plan.

Her hand wrapped around my neck, and I froze. The long nails she had on started digging in just enough to make me stop thinking straight. Then she leaned in, kissing and biting my neck like no one else was in the room. Her tongue moved up my neck until she bit at my ear.

I didn't know what she was doing that could suddenly make me feel like I was on fire but being drowned at the same time. I stayed there, frozen, trying to get any control over my body, but I could never control it. Usually, it was the pain I was trying to control, but now it was blinding need and confusion.

I couldn't breathe. Her hand had loosened, but it stayed there as she pulled back with a smile.

"I think we have to go," I finally said to Dean, who looked ready to kill me. " Great seeing you, though."

I didn't know how I managed to say anything, the words sounding like someone else's voice.

My hand slid under her ass and she clung to me as I picked her up and headed out the door. The crowd moved out of my way like they always did, and she laughed against me as someone yelled out to her.

I didn't know if she realized the show she was putting on was working way too well for me. This was a different type of pain, a lingering burn that seemed to go all the way to my groin. It wasn't like I'd never been turned on before. I had had plenty of times when I needed a release, but I took care of that myself. Those times were definitely never caused by another person, and that included any sexual experience I had.

I didn't like to be touched, and I didn't care to have sex, so what the fuck was going on now?

By the time I set her on the back of my car, I could barely breathe. I pulled back, trying to give some relief to the feeling spreading over me. My lungs were still so restricted, it felt like I couldn't get enough. My chest tightened. The place her hand had been on my neck was still burning, and my dick was now hard and pushing painfully against my jeans.

What. The. Fuck.

She chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes dropping to my jeans, and I could see the smile grow.

"I want to apologize for jumping you again, but I don't want you to think I didn't enjoy it."

My stomach jumped and my groin tightened more. Her eyes on me somehow made me want her to do exactly what she did again.

The panic set in at the thought of her touching me again, and me somehow liking it.

Or worse, that it was a five-second fluke and the second she touched me again would be blinding pain.

"Kye," she whispered. The heated tone wasn't lost on me. It was too much, the teeth, the nails, the lips. I knew what came next, and I didn't think I could handle more after what she just did to me.

What no one had ever done to me.

"We should go," I said, pushing a hand into my hair, nearly ready to start pulling it out. "Unless you need to go back inside longer."

"No. No, that should be fine for me."

"Alright. Come on. I need to get you home, then."

"Oh. Oh, right, of course. Let's go."

I didn't say a word as I got in, waiting for her to get in and pull on her harness before I took off. The car roared as I hit through the gears down the quiet street. If Daisy was scared, she didn't do anything, but unless she started screaming, I wasn't going to slow down.

I needed her out of my car and to put some distance between us again. I needed a break from the buzzing that had filled my head, my body screaming at me to touch her. It was magnetic, my hand twitching on the shifter, wanting to know if I touched her again, if it might be different.

The pain had to come back. There was no way that I woke up last week and suddenly found a way to be cured. Could I suddenly not be revolted when someone put their hands on me? Would my skin not crawl and my stomach not churn now?

It didn't matter, though.

Because there was no way in hell I was going to find out.