50. Daisy

FIFTY

DAISY

For the third day in a row, I woke up next to Kye. His arm draped over me as he slept, and the look of him there almost made me cry.

There was never anyone else for me. I didn't know that there was ever a question for me if he was the one, but at twenty-one, I had given my choices away to others, letting them tell me what was right and wrong, and the war I created between us was too much for him. Too much for both of us, and it was always my fault.

His eyes cracked open. "Are you watching me sleep?"

I smiled, moving his arm higher over me so I could get closer to kiss him.

"Yes."

"I'm surprised. I thought I would be the weirdo creeping at you. Who would have thought that Daisy Wells would be obsessed with me?"

"I've always been obsessed with you."

"My younger broken heart would beg to differ."

"Actually, that's what I was thinking about. I'm still sorry you were ever told to leave."

He rolled onto his back, dragging me up against him as he looked up at the ceiling. "It's okay now, and it was back then. You weren't doing anything wrong. Not when you consider the circumstances. You were perfect, Daze. A good life and good prospects for life. I was a burnout mechanic who was getting into any trouble I could find. Fuck, the last night I saw you, I was about to kill your boyfriend. You were right to think there were red flags, even if you did love me." He pulled me in, kissing my forehead. "Don't be sorry for being smart," he said with a laugh. "And I'm still sorry I stayed away for so long. I always thought it was the right thing to do for you."

"And now?"

"I have tried extremely hard to grow up, and if you feel like I am no longer a walking red flag, then I hope you will stay with me. If there's any part of you doubting it, then I guess we just won't."

"Depends. Are you still trying to get in trouble constantly?"

He flashed a wicked grin. "Of course, just a different type of trouble now."

"Interesting. And I don't have to worry about other women in your life?"

"Yeah, about that… There's one other one."

"What?" My heart dropped. He hadn't mentioned a girlfriend, so I had assumed there wasn't one, but I should have at least asked for sure. He had apparently gone out the other night, but I figured that was really just with Carly or something.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I love her, though. Speaking of which, I should go get her before she tears Quinn and Ransoms' apartment to pieces."

"You are terrible," I yelled, flopping back onto the bed.

"You're the one jumping to the worst possible conclusions."

"You're the one setting me up to freak out."

He laughed. "I thought it was funny. Not that you would immediately think I had a secret wife or something. Are we hanging out for the day?"

I rolled back onto my pillow. "You know what? Just for that, I'll let you know when you get back."

He threw on a pair of shorts and headed out with a laugh.

I got up, dressed, and just made it to the kitchen when they burst back in. Bailey was climbing all over Kye as he laughed.

"Bailey, you're not a monkey, stop climbing on him."

"It's okay, Daze. I told her she could. She also said she makes good pancakes. I think she's lying."

I looked at Bailey, who smiled as she crawled up onto his shoulders. She really did move like a monkey, climbing on him and swinging around his neck with a laugh as he caught her.

"How are you fine with her using you as a playground?"

"Have to get the energy out somehow."

I shook my head. "Come on. Pancakes it is."

We cooked and sat down. As Bailey ate, Kye walked back over to me, pulling me in and kissing me.

"Can we go ride bikes?" Bailey asked, looking at Kye.

"Sure. How about we bike to town later and get ice cream?" She pumped her fist with a yes, something that Scout taught her that she refused to stop doing. Kye must have noticed, because he laughed. "I'm pretty sure there's a specific noise that goes with that, Bailey."

She did it again, letting out a whoop with it.

"I can't go. I have to work at two today."

"Damn. Are you going to tell them you're quitting?"

"Quitting? Why would I quit?"

His eyebrows furrowed. "Why wouldn't you? Don't you hate your job?"

"Yes, but I need money, so it doesn't matter if I hate it or not. That's kind of how things work in life."

"Daisy," he said, the tone suddenly serious. "I leave in two weeks for a race in Colorado, and then back here before leaving again for a few events. I have four of them in different cities. Not big ones exactly, but I can't miss them. I have events booked throughout the year. I guess I shouldn't have, but I assumed you would know that and you two would come with me?"

I almost dropped my coffee. "You're leaving again? Why didn't you say that before?"

"Like I said, I guess I assumed you knew that I still had to work. I just like to take off for long periods to be home before heading out again, and with the wedding, I was happy to hang around longer. But then I just guessed you two would come with me when I go. Bailey won't be in school again until next year. Why wouldn't you?"

"Because I have a job, a kid, a house, responsibilities?"

"A house that you don't even want to sleep in. You hate your job, and I know damn well you would rather write, and the kid you have would come, too, and most likely have a blast. There are plenty of guys who bring their families, and she would have other kids around to play with at most stops. It's hard to be bored at these things."

"Hey, it's not my fault someone broke in. I figured I would sleep there again at some point. I can't just quit my job and write because that isn't going to pay my bills. I will give you the last one because that daredevil of a child would probably love watching you race all the time."

"There would be no bills to pay if you get rid of that house, so it doesn't matter if what you do makes you money."

"There are always bills to pay. Electricity, food, traveling, hotels, clothes. I can keep going. Do you know how expensive it is to raise a child?"

"No, not really, but I'm sure I have enough to cover it all."

"No, Kye, I don't think you understand. It's thousands more a year in expenses. Whatever you are thinking it takes, times it by five. I learned the hard way."

"By five?" he said in disbelief. "It takes almost a hundred grand a year to raise her? Damn, do you feed her gold flakes for breakfast? Do you waitress with your top off to make that type of money?"

I couldn't stop my laugh, but I tried to hide it. "Okay, maybe not five times the amount, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was twenty grand a year to keep up with her."

"And what about you? Are we talking twenty grand or a hundred?" he asked with a laugh.

"A hundred. Look at this hair," I said with a grin, pointing to my hair that I have religiously cut in my own bathroom, and then to my nails, which currently had chipping nail polish I bought at the dollar store. "These nails? Easily two dollars a month."

He laughed harder. "Alright, so we have twenty and a hundred plus another thirty for basic living. Great, as of right now, we can easily live like that for a few years. Of course, we will have a few more kids, but I'll have to make more money in the meantime, so yeah, I think we're good."

"Ha. Ha. Not so fun when you add it up, right?"

"No, it's still pretty fun. I don't mind giving up all my money to have you two in my life. Although, let's factor out living expenses, I would love to see you spend eight grand a month. It's surprisingly harder to spend money like that when you have lived on pennies at any point in life. I think you'll find yourself scrambling to spend it."

"Kye, I was kidding. I live off more like eight dollars a month after bills and Bailey. Getting a fancy coffee is like a spa day."

"I feel like you aren't catching on that I am not kidding. Between the success at the garage, my career, and investing, I have plenty, Daze. Hundreds of thousands that you can spend how you want. And I'm set to make more money this year if I win some races and show up for these events. All my driving started paying really well after people saw that I was sponsored by Holt Racing. It's like that was a beam of light that I was worth a damn. All I've done for the last few years is drive professionally in some capacity, and people pay more and more for that each year. And there's not much to spend money on when you own your apartment, and half of everything else is paid for. I don't need much. I've gotten some sponsors for clothes, travel, cars, even ridiculous stuff like water. People will throw free stuff at rich people like they are poor. It's crazy. I could barely get help when I was a literal child with nothing, but now I get money and stuff handed to me without question."

"I'm sorry, hundreds of thousands?" I couldn't even comprehend it. Even before Bailey, when I started my career, I was hoping for maybe sixty thousand a year. To make that much since we left each other couldn't be real.

"Yes, last I checked. Although Holt is very good at managing money, so it could be millions now. I don't know."

"How is that possible?"

He shrugged. "Like I said, I just kept recklessly driving and people liked that I would do ridiculous stunts. My friends make their own money, so I don't have to help them, and I have no other family. So the money has just been for me. I haven't wanted to move away from everyone and don't need much more than this place anyway, so I stay here. I don't know, the money just sat there. Then Holt helped me invest it into things and it kept growing without me doing anything. I don't need it all. I'd rather have you two around than a pile of money, so I don't know. Just spend it how and when you want."

"Kye, I can't just quit my job and spend your money. You worked hard for that. It isn't mine. We aren't even married. And what if we broke up? Then I would have no money, no house, and no job? Do you know how irresponsible that is?"

He put his chin in his hand with a smile. "Damn, I love how smart you are, even when it's working against me. If you're worried about breaking up, then we can put money in your personal account that I have no access to. Plenty to give you a year of living without me. I don't want you to feel like you have to stay with me just for money." His face scrunched at the words. "And as for not being married, we could get that done today if you would rather do that than go for ice cream."

"Can you please be serious?"

"Can you please take me seriously? I would marry you today if you wanted. At any moment, since the moment I knew I loved you, if you asked if I would marry you, I would have immediately said yes. You could have shown up without another word at any point in the past six years and asked if I would, and we would have already been on the way to the courthouse. Even if you said hey, can we have another ‘fake' relationship and get married because I now have a child and need help? I would have said yes. There was never a point in my life after I met you that loving you was called into question for me. I knew I was just too fucked up to deserve to be in your life. If you would rather wait and have a wedding, we could do that, too." He sat back, the weight of his words making him take a deep breath. "For now, will you at least travel with me? I am booked a while out but can start turning things down before she starts school full-time next year. Then we'll be home more. I'll still have to leave sometimes to afford this apparent hundred thousand dollar a month lifestyle you live," he said with a smirk, "but I could be home a lot more, and you two could still come for weekend events, which a lot of them are, anyway. I know it would suck when I have to go for a week or two, but I think we could manage."

"You are serious?"

"Yes, one hundred percent serious. What part of this is the problem? Not working a job you hate, spending more time with Bailey, being with me?" It was like something clicked for him. "Wait, is that it? Are you doubting being with me?"

"No. No," I said more firmly. "That's not the problem. The problem is with me. That's a lot of change to take in all at once, and what if it's not the right thing for Bailey? What if she struggles without the structure we have now?"

"That child would thrive with no structure," he said, laughing. "If she could live in the woods as a wild animal, she would be thrilled. Seriously, though, if you see her struggling at all, you can come back and get into your routine. You can live here and I will just fly back every second I can. Plus, you love the crew. You could have the entire support team right at home. But I really don't think Bailey would struggle. There's plenty to do, and you two could see all the new places when you want. And best of all, I get you with me every night."

"And you just want a girlfriend and child all of a sudden? After years of bachelorhood, you're ready to settle down and be a family man?"

"With you? Yes. No question that I am. I haven't wanted to be alone, but when there is only one person you want to be with, it really makes your options limited."

"Kye, I was forced into this life before I was ready, and I know how hard it is. I couldn't ask that of you."

"I'm literally begging you for it right now. You aren't forcing anything on me, or asking it of me. I'm asking it of you. Anything, all of it." He got up, coming around and lifting me onto the counter. "Give me all of it, Daze. Don't make me have to live another six years without you, let alone six days. Don't make me have to live another day without you."

I chewed at my lip. There really was no one else I would want, and spending every day with Kye, traveling with him, felt like a dream come true. I could pursue my own dreams, Bailey could see more things and make friends. It was hard to think of the downsides, but I had to.

"Yes to the everyday with you, but you're going to have to give me a little bit to decide on dropping everything to travel around and spend all your money."

He grinned, kissing me once. "I really thought that would be the easy part, but okay. Fair enough, I did just drop a lot on you. Does this mean no to ice cream and bikes?"

"For me? Yes. You two can go, though."

He groaned, but nodded. "Happy to, although I was pretty excited to have you pressed up against me on my bike all day."

"As tempting as that sounds, I can't leave Amber alone at the restaurant all night. Maybe you would be willing to do it twice in one week?"

"Whatever you want, Daze. Come on, we can at least give you a ride to work."

He leaned down to kiss me, squeezing my hand once before he disappeared around the corner.

It was hard to say no to all of it. Impossible even.

I had no reason to, and I realized fast that no part of me wanted to.