42. Daisy

FORTY-TWO

DAISY

I stepped outside and could see Kye immediately. He leaned against his car, his head all the way back to look up at the dark sky. A puff of smoke blew through his lips, and my nose scrunched.

"Still smoking?" I asked, hands on hips.

He didn't move, not even lifting his head to look at me.

"Would you believe it if I said this was the first cigarette I've had in over six years? The last one I ever had, I shared with you."

The memory of being pressed against his body, his hand around my neck and lips on my skin, burned through me. I was already so worked up from dancing together that even the thought of his hands on me again turned me on.

"Why are you breaking and having one now?"

"Because I need something, anything , to occupy my hands before I lose my self-control and put them on you."

"Have you ever had self-control?"

He laughed, stepping closer. "I like to think it's gotten better with age. I tend to think before I act now. At least sometimes."

"Really? I kind of liked it when you lost all control with me."

He came closer, but I stepped around him, moving until we traded places and my back was against his driver's door.

I smiled as he turned back to me.

"I want to ask what game you are playing, but I'm worried if I know I will want to play along," he said.

"And you can't?"

"I have to keep reminding myself that you have a boyfriend, and I do not play games with other guys' girlfriends."

"And if I didn't have one?"

He took a long drag of the smoke and threw it down to stomp it out.

In one step he was nearly against me, the heat of him rolling over me like a blanket.

"I would put your hands on me first. I miss the sheer ecstasy that comes over me when your hands are on me. I miss your body on mine," he said, the quiet rasp of his voice making my legs weak.

"Just my body? Not me?"

"Missing you is a given. I've missed you every fucking day, but missing your body is different. I've never missed anyone's hands on me," he said, leaning in, his eyes heavy as he looked over my face. "Or the way your body wraps around mine, how you say my name, how you get me off. I miss the slutty things you tell me when you come undone," he added with a smirk.

"Slutty?"

"Yes, and I loved every second of it. Even the thought of ever getting to hear those words on your lips again turns me on."

I looked down, my thighs clenching as I saw the outline of his hard cock.

"Kye," I said, breathless as my heart rate picked up. His hand reached to my chin, his thumb moving over my lower lip. I only closed my eyes, trying to memorize the feeling.

"Do you talk like that for Mark? Do you tell every guy how bad you want fucked? How you like it so hard, it hurts? How you want others to watch you get licked and fucked until they are burning with jealousy?"

My chest heaved, and my wetness soaked through my underwear. I was falling apart and didn't want to stop it. The type of inner thoughts I hadn't told anyone since him.

"No," I finally said. "I don't tell anyone else those thoughts. Have you been able to sleep with other women?"

He stepped against me now, his thumb still moving over my bottom lip.

"No. These lips were the last ones wrapped around my cock. Your body is the last one I sunk into. I've tried. I've tried so fucking hard, but even if I've gotten better about being touched, yours are still the only hands I want on me."

My heart somehow broke and leapt at the same time. I ran a hand down his side, brushing over his cock, and tried not to linger, even when I wanted to. He pressed against me with a groan, the pants the only thing between us.

"Please stop," he said, his throat tight.

"I thought you said you wanted my hands on you," I whispered, moving over his length again.

He grabbed my wrists, holding them tight as he pulled them up.

"I did. I do, but you are still with Mark, and I can't expect you to forgive me."

"Why? Are you just trying to sleep with me so you can leave for another six years?"

He didn't move, barely took a breath as he stared at me. "Do you really think I wanted to leave?"

"I did, but then yesterday, I talked to my dad. Well, I fought with him. He told me that he told you to leave or else you and the crew would face charges from Dean. I would have done something, Kye. I would have told them what Dean did."

"It didn't matter. I wasn't only defending you at that point, Daze. I was hunting him down to kill him. I followed him. Your dad was right. Even if you pressed charges, mine would be a lot worse. And worse than that, you were there. They could have grouped you in and you would have been kicked out of school. The crew could have faced charges. It would have been a mess."

"But why did you stay away?" I asked, the tears already threatening to fall. "You could have come back after a little while. Come back to me, at least."

"Because I was the problem. Not you. Me. And I couldn't ruin your life more."

"That's not true."

"At the time, it was for me. I grew up believing I was the problem and terrible things followed me everywhere. Then I find you, and you have this perfect life, and in a matter of months, I'm ruining it. Every time something bad happened, I was there. It was hard not to see a way that it wasn't my fault."

"But now you realize that's bullshit? That it was Dean's fault and not yours? Because you seem to have made sure I didn't do that to Bailey, so when did you realize you aren't the problem in all of this?"

"I've been to a lot of therapy, and I would love to say that fixed me. That I've been living in bliss of not being a problem, but none of that fixed my brain."

"Then how are you recognizing it now?"

"Because of Bailey. There's not one fucking thing wrong with her, but she's going to be told there is. She's going to be told she's too much to handle and deal with. I'm sure it isn't going to go away as she gets older. Honestly, it might get a hell of a lot worse."

"Are you saying you just realized this?"

"Honestly, yes. I wish I could say I figured it out on my own, but I didn't. There's nothing wrong with her, she just doesn't fit into the world we want her to. I thrive in the world that people say is wrong, but I didn't see how true that is until now. She's smart, and strong, and if the world doesn't try to take that away, she will probably grow up to have an amazing life."

Everything he was saying was coming together and I was nearly speechless. "But the world tried to take it from you. You were never told you were smart, or strong, or full of amazing things."

"No. I was told I was a problem, too much to handle, that there was something wrong with me that couldn't be fixed. That more people would be happy to see me dead than alive if it meant they didn't have to deal with me. Every problem in my house was my fault, and they didn't let me forget that. I didn't realize how goddamn unfair that was until I saw her. How the fuck could you tell a kid like that, that they are the problem? That they are so different from other people that it's terrifying. That because she isn't scared of the world at four years old means we should be scared of her. Maybe there was a time I was like that, but I never had a chance to know."

"Which is why you scolded me when I said she was a lot."

"I wasn't trying to scold you, Daze. I just realized when I heard it that she wasn't going to hear it the same way as you were. She was going to start telling it to herself until she believed it. It's not like you were doing anything bad, and maybe Bailey would never think that, but why risk it?"

"No, I was wrong. I was doing something bad, and I actually appreciate it. It's hard doing this whole thing alone, and it's nice to have someone there who might tell me if I'm messing something up. I don't want to ruin her life."

He smiled and moved the smallest amount closer. "You're not. I promise she will turn out ten times better than I did."

"There's nothing wrong with how you turned out. Back then or now. Why does it seem like we can never have things on track with us for more than a week or two? Maybe you're not the one messing this up all the time. Maybe it's me," I said, trying to force a smile. I wanted to lighten the mood, but everything felt so heavy that it didn't come out the way I hoped.

"It's not your fault, Daze. Maybe it's not either of our faults, exactly. We can blame fate. It was reckless giving me you."

"Why?" I asked, my words breathless as he stepped closer. Just the nearness of him was going to my head, making me want to fall forward into his arms.

"Because why would the world give me something so perfect and delicate to love? I would have ruined your life. That's why I stayed away."

"You shouldn't have."

"Maybe. And I am sorry, but I was trying to do what I could to not ruin your life because I do love you. I didn't leave because I didn't."

My entire body screamed as I heard the words. Love. Not loved . Love.

"Come on. I'm sure Bailey is looking for you."

I rolled my eyes, but pushed off the car to follow him. "Yeah, right. I'm old news. She's probably looking for you. I really need to get my other shoes out of the car because it's officially reception time and I'm done with heels."

He laughed but changed direction, heading to my car that, of course, had to be on the other side of the parking lot.

I groaned as my feet screamed in pain from the heels while we walked across the parking lot. Being on my feet all day at work was somehow making heels ten times worse, and I'd been in them for nearly six hours.

"Alright, I'm not listening to that the entire way to your car," he said, leaning down and pulling my legs out from under me. I yelped as he lifted me up, carrying me bridal style towards my car.

My body jumped, immediately taking note of everywhere our bodies were touching. His arm under my legs and back, his chest against my arm.

"You're…touching a lot of me."

"Yeah."

"I never understood why you were fine with me."

"I guess we all get a soulmate, right?"

My heart flipped, trying to take in the words, but when I looked over at my car, I was already scrambling out of his arms.

"What the hell?" he asked, first at me and then at my car. The two tires we could see were flat, and we walked around the other side to see the other two flat as well.

"That can't be a coincidence, right?" I asked.

He was already shaking his head, pulling open my door to inspect inside. "No. I highly doubt that's a coincidence."

"Someone slashed my tires?" It was the obvious answer, but it felt surreal. "Who would slash all of my tires? And why?"

"Piss anyone off lately?" he asked, popping the hood open and inspecting that next.

"Not that I know of. And who would be so mad to come find me at the wedding just to slash my tires?"

"I don't know, but I'm not having you out here to see if we can find out." He grabbed my shoes and the car seat for Bailey out of the back.

"What are you doing?"

His eyebrows furrowed as he waited for me to change shoes. "I assumed you weren't driving this so I will be taking you two home."

My breath hitched, but I stood back up to face him. "With you?"

The grin on his face when I met his eye made my chest tighten. For one beat of my heart, I really thought I was going to get to go home with him, but then he shook his head.

"I was meaning I would take you to your home. And as much as I would love for you to come to mine, that's still off-limits. Come on. We need to find Bailey and unfortunately, I think you need to call Mark or your dad about this."

"Maybe it was an accident."

"It wasn't."

"I really don't want to call him."

"I think you have to this time."

I met his eyes, stepping closer, and wishing I could close the space between us again. "Can we be gone by the time they get here?"

"You don't want to see either of them?"

I was already shaking my head. "No. They can do their job and take care of it. We'll hang out inside a little longer. You will give us a ride home after?" I asked.

"Always Daze, always."