21. Kye

TWENTY-ONE

KYE

One minute, I was reminding her that I was already not sleeping with anyone, and the next she was kissing me like her life depended on it.

"Kye, do not question this anymore and please, please, just let this happen."

I wasn't going to question it. I didn't know if I could anymore. Walking out of the dorm room earlier was torture—pulling my teeth out would have been more pleasant. I did want to sleep with her, and I wasn't sure how to say it. It wasn't why I agreed to help her move, but the wanting was still there.

Not sleeping with her had taken over every second of my day, and I didn't think I could keep this up. I needed her. I needed her touch. I needed a break from the constant burning ache in my chest.

I didn't say anything, but I picked her up, urging her legs around me as I shut, and locked , the door.

I had made my apartment a studio, the open space less suffocating to a boy who had lived in what should be considered a closet most of his life.

Now it made it easy to navigate, carrying her to my bed and laying her down as I crawled over top of her.

"So this is why you came here?" I asked, noticing the way her eyes went heavy as she looked up at me.

"I guess so. I didn't know that until you said no one else was here."

I leaned down, kissing her. "And now you want to sleep with me?"

"Yes. A thousand times, yes. I need to. Please, just let me sleep with my fake boyfriend," she said with a laugh. "If you want to, obviously. If the touching is okay."

"It's still okay. Are you sure that's what you really want to do?"

"Are you forgetting that I have been the one asking for this over and over? You're the one that said no sex, so do you want to do this?"

"Mmm," I groaned, and moved down her body, pulling her dress up. "Damn, Daze, you can say that you didn't plan this, but you didn't even wear underwear."

"I really didn't—" Her words died with a gasp as I covered her pussy with my mouth.

"Kye!"

Tasting her was like a drug. My mind lost as I pushed my tongue inside her.

She gasped again, and I pulled away.

"I will do that all night if you need, but right now, I need you."

"Yes," she said, the word short between hard breaths.

She was already pulling off clothes, and I sat up.

"Problem?" she asked.

I rubbed the back of my neck, realizing how unprepared I was. "About the not sleeping with anyone… That also means I don't have condoms."

She started laughing and moved to the edge of the bed. "Okay, I have to ask, how many people have you slept with exactly?"

"Two."

"And how long has it been since you last slept with someone?"

"Three years."

Her mouth fell open as she stopped digging in her bag. "Three years? How did you even manage that? Aren't you, like, losing your mind or something? The guys I know around our age can barely make it three days before they are doing the dumbest things to sleep with literally anyone."

"Taking care of things on my own is one, a lot easier logistically, and two, feels better than trying to grit my teeth and touch someone. Also, if you tell someone not to touch you during sex, they get weirded out and usually don't listen."

She threw her bag to the side, smirking as she held up a condom before pulling her dress off. She was half under the blankets but completely naked now, her hair off to the side, and smiling at me. "Do you want me to not touch you until you say you're ready?"

I was already shaking my head before she finished her sentence. There had been small instances of liking someone, even finding them pretty, but it was nothing compared to the bone-deep need that she gave me.

Every fucking part of her was beautiful, and every part of her seemed to spark something inside of me until I was blindingly turned on.

"No. Just be you. Do what you want to do." I crawled back over her, kicking off my sweatpants as I went. "I like when you seem to lose rational thought and touch me or say what's on your mind."

Her cheeks turned red, but she laughed. "I'll be me, and you tell me if you need to stop."

I nodded and I leaned down to kiss her neck, that same scent of lavender and mint already making me high.

My hands shook as I held myself over her. I didn't want it to end. The idea of this being ruined was eating away at any mental stability I had left, but it didn't matter. I was doing this, even if it was the last fucking time I ever did.

I put on the condom and positioned myself at her entrance, pushing against her. In one motion, I filled her. It wasn't sweet, and it wasn't slow, but I didn't have a coherent enough thought to make this better. She gasped, clinging to me harder. I thought I should wait, but her hips moved, urging me to do it again. I pulled away and slammed into her again. The heat of her wrapped around me was everything I had hoped for, everything I never knew that sex could be.

The sigh that escaped her made a shot of ecstasy run down my spine. Everything was a blur of movement, and I knew I should slow down, make whatever was happening more special somehow, but some part of my brain was shutting off as the other part of it screamed for her. Her back arched as I buried myself deeper, and she let out a small moan. She didn't seem to mind the pace, moving her hips and keeping pace with me.

I pushed deeper again, my body tightening until I broke. I came hard, not stopping as my entire body shook from the orgasm.

I kept going until she screamed, her body tightening around me as her nails dug into my shoulders. I leaned down, kissing her neck as she started shaking along with me.

Finally, I slowed, but I stayed buried in her. When I finally pulled back, I knew I was screwed.

Her big eyes looked up at me, and there was nothing in the world I cared about more.

There was nothing in the entire world that I wanted to look at again.

"Kye? Are you okay?" she whispered, running her hands through my hair and down over my shoulders, holding onto my arms for a moment before repeating the movement. "Is it bad? Are you hurting?"

I was definitely not okay, but not for the reason she was asking about.

Sex shouldn't feel like this.

It should be horrible and painful, and I should be counting down the seconds until it was over.

It shouldn't feel this good just being with her.

It shouldn't feel any different from any other girl I had slept with.

But it was.

It was my heart shattering into a thousand pieces and coming back together.

A lump caught in my throat, and I had to set my head down next to hers just to take another deep breath, careful not to crush her with my weight.

"Kye, what's wrong? We can be done, it's okay," she said, almost sounding scared, but I couldn't say anything, knowing the sound of my own voice would betray me right now, so I only shook my head no.

She shuddered underneath me as I moved finally, lazily sliding back into her. Her eyes closed and lips parted, whispering my name this time.

She wanted to be here with me. It wasn't someone else she was hoping for or thinking about. She moved underneath me, picking up the pace as she whispered my name again.

How did she manage to know what I needed? Every part of me was falling apart, and she was only ready to give me more of herself.

"What do you need?" I whispered, my throat so tight it hurt.

"You. This. Whatever second orgasm that is teasing me."

I laughed. She was fucking perfect. I already knew she wanted to be perfect, but I wasn't expecting her to be perfect to me.

For me.

I lifted her hips and moved faster again, loving every small moan and mumble of my name. I already came, but that wasn't stopping me from doing this again and again.

I leaned back, bringing her hips up with me until I was nearly holding her up in the air.

"Yes," she said. "Please, Kye, yes."

I didn't stop or ease up, needing every second of this. Her moans got higher until her hands wound into my sheets and her body broke free, shaking and pulsing around me harder this time.

I finally let myself go, slamming harder into her as her pussy clenched around me. By the time I stopped, I could barely breathe, her heavy panting matching mine. I knew this was the point I was supposed to pull away and clean us up, but I couldn't move, staying buried in her.

"I've never had an orgasm like that," she said, panting.

"Me either," I said, regretting the words immediately.

She pulled away, my cock moving out of her as she did, so I followed, slamming back into her as she gasped.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want to be done yet," I said, the words more threatening than sweet, but I had lost all control.

She laughed, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me down, kissing me. "Then why don't we clean up, take a minute to breathe, and do all of that again?"

"You're staying?"

"I don't know if I can make it home without collapsing. I don't even know if I can make it to the shower without falling over."

If I was going to get a night with her, I was going to take in every second. I would fuck up a lot of things in my life, but tonight wouldn't be one of them. I finally pulled away and picked her up to carry her into the bathroom.

"Then prepare not to sleep because I don't know how long it's going to take for me to be finished with you," I said, hoping that the answer was one night.

I was now praying to the universe that had never cared about me that this feeling would be over in one fucking night.