Chapter 35

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

NOVA

Like I’d predicted, when I called Carter the next morning to plan a time to meet up, he was already back in New York. The self-centered coward had driven straight back to Dallas and taken the first flight home. He didn’t get what he’d come for, and I thought I’d probably frightened him away by letting on that I suspected he’d swindled me in the divorce settlement.

It was bittersweet, but I didn’t need his money to give my kids a satisfying life. We still didn’t have a TV, and we were doing just fine.

The reality that he prioritized himself over his children still hit me like a slap in the face. It wasn’t new information, but the fresh reminder stung. It also made it easy for me to delete the screenshot of his Instagram story and remove the photo from his contact information. I didn’t replace it with something nasty like cicadas or a devil emoji, despite how badly I wanted to. My kids would be answering his calls and seeing that photo, and I wanted to remain neutral when it came to their relationship with him. If things went well with Dusty, they’d be forging healthy father-figure relationships anyway .

Hopefully, someday, Carter would learn to step up for their sakes and not his own selfish gain.

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my sherpa pullover as I walked to Gigi’s house to pick up my kids. The slight chill in the air would burn off the second the sun reached a prime spot, and I was coming to like springtime in Texas. It wasn’t nearly as cold as we were used to.

My phone rang, and my heart gave a leap when I saw Dusty’s name cross the screen. “Hello?”

“Hey, there,” he said easily. “Just checking in.”

His voice flowed through me like a shot of caffeine and lavender, invigorating and soothing at the same time. I filled him in on Carter’s disappearing act and received his curse-laced agitation in return. “Yeah, but the kids won’t ever know.”

“True,” he said. “Protect them at all costs.”

My stomach tightened with butterflies. We talked until I reached the house. “I need to go inside and get them, but thanks for calling.”

“Of course. Talk to you later, Nova.”

I could hear Gigi and the kids singing the days of the week song to the tune of The Addams Family theme song when I reached the porch. I paused with my fist poised above the door to knock and soaked in the happy sounds of my babies, wholly unaware that their father had been across the street last night and had chosen not to remain for twelve hours in order to see them. Anger pooled hot in my belly. It was better if they didn’t know.

Pasting a smile on, I knocked twice and opened the door to let myself in. “Good morning!” I called.

“Mom!”

“Mommy!”

The kids ran out of the kitchen and barreled into me like I’d left them for a year and not one night. Their little arms went around my legs and my waist, squeezing. My eyes misted against my better judgment. I looked at the ceiling, willing the emotion to return to wherever it came from. Honestly, how could anyone not want these precious babies in their life?

Carter was an idiot.

“Okay,” Gigi said, clapping her hands together. “We have French toast and bacon waiting on those plates. Get to the table, buckaroos.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Ben said, then ran to the dining room.

Alice somersaulted her way behind him. So, that was still a thing.

Gigi leaned against the wall, fiddling with a dishtowel in her hands and watching me. “Do you want to talk about it?”

So much had happened, I didn’t even know what she was referring to. I took a step back and sank onto the arm of the upholstered chair. “Carter showed up last night,” I whispered so the kids wouldn’t hear me. They were arguing over syrup, so I figured I was safe.

Gigi froze. “Is he coming over?”

“No, he left.” I shook my head, laughing incredulously. “He actually left. It was late and I didn’t want to bother the kids until this morning, but really it was a power play that backfired on him. He’s back in New York now. His plane landed like a half-hour ago.”

Her face hardened. “Self-serving?—”

“Yeah,” I agreed, before she started swearing and the kids heard. Somehow, they could ignore everything until one wretched curse word slipped through. They tuned in every time, no matter how far away they were. “I don’t know how to protect my babies, Gigi. Legally, I have to abide by our settlement, but he doesn’t prioritize them. I never want them to feel anything but wholly loved.”

She crossed the room and sat on the edge of her coffee table so she faced me. Her mouth was pinched into a line, her white hair styled in the perfect Q-tip she always wore. Not a hair out of place. “They are wholly loved. You can’t control anyone else’s actions, and you certainly can’t protect them from pain. The only thing you can do is be a safe place. You can love them with all your heart so they never have to question their worth. No matter what life throws at them at any age, they will know they are loved because of you. The rest is out of your hands.”

Tears streamed down my face in earnest now. I dashed them away, but I knew she was right. “Part of me wishes he was out of the picture entirely, but the other part recognizes that having him in their lives is healthier.”

“You handle it well, Nova. You can only be the liaison between him and the kids.”

“Even then, his calling is sporadic. Ben won’t even get on the phone now, which is what sparked Carter’s trip to Texas in the first place.”

“Set boundaries. You have to be the liaison, but you don’t have to live by his schedule. You have the kids, you set the boundaries. If he calls outside of the times you provide, then you don’t have to answer the phone. That’s healthy.”

It sounded amazing. “I can do boundaries.”

“You should probably talk to Ben, too. He’s been angry, I think.”

“Did he speak to you about it?”

“He might have mentioned that his dad was going to have a new family and didn’t need him anymore.”

My stomach went cold. “Why would he say that?”

“I didn’t push it,” she said, squeezing my knee. “You could.”

“Yeah.” I closed my eyes and let out a breath.

“He also mentioned he heard you telling someone on the phone that you don’t love cooking at the diner.”

My eyes shot open, heat rising in my cheeks. “Everyone complains about their job. ”

“Maybe,” Gigi said, watching me.

“It isn’t the diner I don’t love. It’s that baking is where my heart is, not cooking. They’re different, you know?”

“I do know. I also heard your parents might be coming home early.”

We stared at one another, all the unspoken things floating between us. Possibilities of the kids and me moving back to the city, leaving Texas. “I’m really happy with our arrangement here, Gigi.”

“I’m glad, sugar. I just want you to know I don’t intend on holding you to anything. If you want to go back to New York when your parents move home, I won’t hold it against you. If you choose to stay here and find a different job, that’s okay, too.”

“I’ve decided to stay.”

Her white eyebrows shot up. “Did you tell your parents that?”

“Yes, but they want me to think about it a little longer, so I’ll tell them again in a few days. We miss home a lot, but Arcadia Creek has become a new home for us in the last few months. I’m ready to settle here.”

“Have you considered starting your cookie company again?”

“My quaint cookies?” I joked, seeing Carter’s judgmental sneer edge into my memory. I immediately banished it, free and clear of his opinion. It was nice and calming to know his opinion didn’t matter anymore. I cleared my mind, bringing my attention back to the matter at hand. “It wasn’t ever a real business. It wouldn’t pay the rent.”

“Maybe not, but alimony should. You could stay part time at the diner to keep our arrangement while you build it up. Test it out and see.” She narrowed her eyes. “Do you prefer waitressing?”

“I like interacting with the customers,” I told her honestly. It was part of the reason Arcadia had come to feel like a community so quickly.

“Well, Dal and Bonnie aren’t going away anytime soon. We’ll move you to the waitressing rotation part time while you figure out what you want to do. I can get a list of farmers’ markets together if you want to look into booth rentals.”

“Okay,” I said, warming to the idea, but simultaneously stressing about the finances of it. I did have some of Carter’s settlement tucked away in the bank for startup costs, but it was a little hard to believe I could sustain a living on cookies. I would need to think on this. “I’ll look into it. If you’re sure? I don’t want to leave the cooks hanging.”

She chewed on her lip, debating something. “Want the truth?”

“I won’t like it, will I?”

“It’s not charity,” she said in defense. “But I didn’t need a cook. I just wanted you to feel like you were earning your keep. I assumed you’d prefer to stay in the back and not be on display for the entire town, so I had Dal make room for you in the kitchen during the daytime shifts.”

“That was thoughtful, Gigi.” I stood, pulling her in for a hug and trying to suppress the shame of accepting charity. She had done what she’d done out of love. “I don’t know how I would have gotten through any of this without you.”

Gigi blew a little raspberry. “You’re equipped to heal on your own. I just gave you a place to do it.”

I squeezed her again before letting go. “Right. Well. Did I hear you made French toast? Because I could steal a slice.”

She grinned. “Right this way.”

Gigi’s offer to help me focus on my baking lit a fire under my determination, and I spent the next few days working the numbers and figuring out how many cookies I’d need to sell in order to turn a profit. It seemed next to impossible to turn this into a full career, but I was going to give it a chance.

I’d also begun running in the mornings after dropping the kids off at school. It was harder to get back into than I’d remembered, but the fresh air and personal time were doing wonders for my mental health, and I was only three days in.

On Wednesday night, I was getting ready to have Desi and Ashley over to plan the end of season joint football/cheerleader party. I’d made fresh strawberry sauce to put over ice cream and had gotten the kids out of the bath and into their pajamas with twenty minutes to spare.

“Do we have to go to sleep?” Alice asked, hugging Peaches to her side. “I want ice cream too.”

“You can have some after school tomorrow. It’s too late for sugar now, or you’ll never go to sleep.”

“Unfair,” Ben said from where he scowled on the top bunk.

“Totally fair. You aren’t an adult yet, so I get to make your eating decisions.”

His scowl deepened. “Dad would let us have ice cream.”

Dad also wouldn’t have to deal with the repercussions of that choice , I thought. I was pretty sure Ben was remembering a different, less health-conscious version of his father. “Well, you’re stuck with me.”

“Forever,” Ben muttered.

Alice went quiet, looking up at her brother.

“Hop in bed,” I said to her, then climbed up on the bottom rung of the ladder to be eye-level with Ben. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He rolled over to face the wall.

My stomach clenched. “Is this about why you don’t want to talk to your dad on the phone?”

“Maybe.”

I clutched the edge of the bed rail, then inhaled. “Ben, what happened? ”

He was silent. I waited until he was ready to talk, because I knew the power of silence. Finally, after so long I’d convinced myself he wasn’t going to tell me, he sighed. “Dad’s new baby is going to be a boy, and he won’t need me anymore.”

My entire body went cold. “What new baby?”

“Kristen’s baby.”

Oh. My. Gosh. I tried to keep calm, to pretend this wasn’t filling me with all sorts of weird feelings. The blasé way he’d said Kristen’s name, like he expected me to know who she was, belied a level of intimacy between Carter’s new girlfriend and my kids that I didn’t like. “When did you learn about this?”

Stupid question. Probably weeks ago when he’d stopped talking to his dad. Everything was clicking into place. Why she’d moved in with him so quickly. Why Carter had been so cagey lately. Why he would have been able to take them back to New York if I chose to stay here, because now he had built-in babysitting. Suddenly, the possibility that he could have dragged them away that night hit me with a fresh wave of terror. If he was starting a new family and wanted these two to be part of it, how could I stop him?

With a veiled threat of legal action and my knowledge that he made way more money than he was somehow able to report. That had been what saved us.

But right now, my little boy needed reassurance. I swallowed my anger and brushed his messy blond hair from his face. “Love doesn’t divide, Ben. It grows. Someday, I hope to get married again, and when we welcome another little baby to this family, do you think it will mean I have to give all of my love to him or her?”

He sat up, his little brow furrowed, blond hair messy. “No, but you and Dad are different.”

Of course we were, and because children are little emotional geniuses, he could sense that even if he couldn’t understand it. “He shows it in different ways, but he doesn’t love you any less. A new baby won’t change how he feels about you, okay?” At least that much was true. Carter wasn’t a very attentive dad, but he wasn’t a monster. He would probably always have this level of disconnect, new baby or not.

“Who are you going to marry, Mommy?” Alice asked, making me flinch.

I leaned down to see her lying in bed, Peaches under the covers beside her. “I don’t know yet.”

“But it won’t be Chad,” Alice said with conviction.

“No, it won’t be Chad.” I fought a smile. “I think I might like to try dating Dusty, though, if you both think that’s okay.”

“Yes!” Alice squealed. “Then we’ll have a kitty.”

Priorities.

I nodded and turned my attention back to Ben. “What do you think?”

“It would be okay with me,” Ben said, peering at me through narrowed eyes. “But if you have any more babies, do I have to share a room with them, too?”

“Babies always sleep with the parents in the beginning,” I told him. “Then I’ll probably have to put him or her in bed with you. We don’t have any other space. You could share your blankets, though, right?”

Ben gave me a wry smile. “You can’t trick me, Mom. Dusty would build the baby its own bed.”

His quiet confidence smashed into me, stealing my breath. How easily he knew how Dusty would handle that dilemma made my heart soar to the moon and back. The difference between the men, and the difference in Ben’s perception of them, boiled down to their actions—what they’d proven to us time and again. Carter couldn’t be relied on; Dusty could.

“Get to sleep now, you hooligans. I have a meeting out there soon to plan a party.” I leaned over and squeezed Ben, kissing him all over his face against his squeals, then repeated the process with Alice. “Love you both. ”

Their echoing chorus of good nights went on for quite a while, but I left them and closed the door, leaning against it for a moment in quiet gratitude—thankful I felt settled, that the future had a plan, that my kids would be okay, that good people loved me.

I pulled out my phone and texted Dusty.

Nova

The kids approve

Dusty

Yeehaw!

I had to smile at him knowing exactly what I meant.

Nova

Oh, no. I think they just rescinded their approval. Shoot.

Dusty

Well, like you once told me, it’s been a good run

Nova

Nice to know you, of course

Dusty

Good luck with your future endeavors

Nova

Can I see you tomorrow?

Dusty

Not unless you need me to put out a fire. Which I really hope you don’t

I’ll plan something for this weekend if you’re interested

Nova

I’m interested

Kids or no kids?

Dusty

Kids. Always kids.

My heart melted into a puddle and pooled near my feet. It was a wonder I could walk to the door when the party planners arrived.

Finally—happiness.