Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

NOVA

If you had told me last year I would become a football mom, I would have laughed. The sport was so outside of what my family was interested in. I didn’t know the first thing about the game myself, but I loved watching Ben snag a flag and search for me in the stands with triumph during his games and his practices. He was succeeding at something with a team of supportive friends at his back. It gave him a group to fit in with, something to put his focus on. Somewhere to belong.

The moment we reached the big park where the Battle of the Badges was being held, I loved that Ben noticed a group of boys from his football team and ran off to join them. He was fitting in. He seemed happy. Yes, he hadn’t wanted to talk to Carter the last time we’d gotten him on the phone, but aside from that, everything seemed good.

I would proudly be a football mom forever now because of what it had given to my son during this hard period in his life.

That, and a forever supporter of firemen. When Dusty stopped by the other day to give Ben his old Chewbacca, my son’s face had brightened like he’d been offered a trip to NASA. Dusty played it off like it wasn’t a big deal, but we both knew Ben felt differently. He took the Chewie toy everywhere he went now, but I’d asked him to leave it in the car when we’d arrived at the park.

Alice hopped around to the back of the SUV with me, clutching Peaches under her arm.

“Do you want me to help you find Kendall?” I asked. “Her mom told me they would be here today.”

Alice looked unsure.

“Or you could help me take our things to the dessert table and prepare to assemble the plates?” Chad had decided to take over the burgers, and I was in charge of putting out the dessert. I was glad my oven had quit smelling like burned plastic when I had to make one hundred little angel food cakes, because I’d ended up making them late into the night while my kids were asleep.

It hadn’t been a trial. I had sent pictures to Dusty so he would know what he was up against, but cutting out most of the important components with a peace sign or a shaka in front of the camera.

He’d replied with a picture of himself, frowning, in front of a table covered in some sort of bread item I couldn’t quite identify.

This morning’s text:

Dusty

Today’s the day! You’re going down, Walker

Yeah, I hadn’t minded when Chad had asked me to come to the event and help out. I wanted to win. I needed those bragging rights, because Dusty didn’t seem like the type of guy to let things go easily, and I would never hear the end of it if I lost.

“I’ll help you,” Alice said. I could already see her growing uncomfortable at the crowd gathered around the football field, camp chairs lined up on the perimeter to watch the men start their football game. The police team wore blue and the firefighters red, to make it easy to tell them apart.

My dad would be disappointed, but I was definitely Team Red today. Since I was cooking for blue, though, I would take that secret to my grave. Red could win the football game so long as Blue won the cook off.

Desi was standing at the tables when I got there. “The game has already started. Kendall is over there if you want to go find her, honey,” she added to Alice.

Alice clutched the bottom of my shirt, pulling hard. I put my things on the table before reaching down to pry her fingers from my hem. “I’ll walk over with you in a minute,” I told her.

Desi looked between us. She poured more lemonade powder into a giant cooler and mixed it with a wooden spoon, ice clinking together as she stirred.

“Are you doing the drinks for everyone?” I asked.

“Yes. The firehouse is covering chips. The people can go down both lines and get a slider and a dessert from each side. Voting boxes are up by the picnic tables.”

“It’s so organized.”

Desi preened. “Thank you.”

I hadn’t known she’d taken over the set up, but the woman was head of the PTA and dressed like a lawyer. She clearly meant business.

I finished setting out plates and shoved my coolers under the table, nestled in the grass. The sun had come out, shining down with steady, comfortable warmth. We had an hour before lunch, so I didn’t need to come back here and set up for at least forty minutes. I tapped the top of the foil pans holding the little angel food cakes and considered how warm they’d get in the sun. They were better off waiting beneath the table, too.

After getting everything nestled on the grass, I reached for Alice’s hand. “Let’s go find Kendall. ”

“Okay, Mommy.” She clutched Peaches tightly under her arm, squeezing my fingers with her free hand.

“See you over there!” Desi called.

Kendall was at the play structure on the other side of the field, hanging upside down on a gymnastics bar, when we found her. Last I’d heard, Penny had moved on to a different BFF, leaving Kendall and Alice to themselves. Neither of them seemed too sad about it, but if this was a preview of their teen years, we were in for some headaches and tears.

When Kendall noticed us, she flipped to her feet, landing on the bark, and ran our way. “My mom says you’re going to be Chad’s new girlfriend,” Kendall said, then turned to face Alice with utter joy on her face. “If he’s your new daddy, then we can be neighbors. He’s my dad’s BFF, but he isn’t married yet, so my mom doesn’t have a BFF. But now your mom can be my mom’s best friend!”

My stomach somersaulted, following the reasoning behind her excitement with growing trepidation. Did Desi think this because Chad said something, or did she jokingly mention it in passing to her husband and was accidentally overheard by the six-year-old?

Alice looked horrified.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I told them both. “And no one is getting a new daddy, okay?” My stomach still felt sick. The more I thought about it, the more I could see Desi had only been chatting to her husband about me and Chad in the way happily married couples talked about their friends getting together. In a perfect world, I would marry Chad and we could have couples’ dinners and go on cruises together and our kids could play all the time and we’d have houses next door.

I knew this, because it was the life I thought I’d have when my friend Blair had married my brother Jason. The only problem was that Carter and Jason never really saw eye to eye. There had been no couples cruises or double dates. It had been a lot of me hanging out with my family while Carter worked late and dropped in for a minute occasionally before we all went home.

Desi should have known better than to say anything like this around Kendall. Six-year-old girls didn’t know how to keep secrets.

Well, except for Alice and the wretched Chewbacca situation. Ben still wasn’t talking to her—most of the time, when he remembered he was mad.

“Will you be okay here?” I asked.

Alice nodded.

I leaned down to speak in her ear. “You know I’m not dating anyone, right?”

“Not even Dusty?” she asked quietly.

My body froze. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask her if it would be okay with her if I did date Dusty, or how she would feel about it, but this wasn’t the time or the place. I didn’t have a chance to refute the question at all though, because Kendall took her arm.

“Come on! Let’s go practice our dance.”

Alice let herself be dragged away. I hovered for a few more minutes before heading back toward the game. Desi and I needed to have a chat.

When I reached the game, she was nowhere to be seen. I waved at June and Lauren, sitting with Tucker, Jack, Gracie Mae, and a smattering of their parents. It was Dusty’s little cheer section, which was the only reason I didn’t join them. Until I understood exactly how Alice felt about Dusty, I wasn’t going to do anything to put myself out there as his particular friend.

Not that anyone else thought there was something between us. But if Alice did, then Ben might too, and I couldn’t have that. My kids deserved to be number one, which meant my top priority had just become figuring out where their heads were at .

I pulled out my phone and texted my sister-in-law.

Nova

My kids might think I have a boyfriend. Or maybe just Alice does? I don’t know how I feel about this. Do I want them to approve? Or will I be happier if they don’t? Please tell me how to feel

Blair

I NEED DETAILS

Who is it? Full legal name? I want to stalk him on Instagram

Nova

No! I’m dying here. I don’t even think I want a relationship, B.

She sent me a picture of the mound of laundry on her couch and my nephew in the background throwing it all over the floor with blurry, waving arms.

Blair

Can you not entertain me better than this, please?

Okay, kidding. I know you’re in a major panic, but obvs you are the only one who can know how you feel. If you’re asking for permission to move on, you got it when Carter walked out

That was fair. What was I waiting for? Whose permission did I need to determine I’d waited long enough?

It hit me with a fresh wave—it was, again, all about my kids.

Nova

You know I’ve wrecked Ben’s and Alice’s lives by tearing them away from home and family and bringing them to the middle of nowhere. I think it’s less about moving on and more about whether it’s too soon for them. I don’t want to give my babies whiplash

My fingers typed furiously as I poured my stress into messages to my closest friend.

Nova

Besides, what if it doesn’t work out? What if he seems perfect, but he’s really a scumbag?

I didn’t actually think that, but I hadn’t known Dusty terribly long.

Nova

He’s winning me over with his charm, but there’s always a reason when a perfect man is almost thirty and still single.

Blair

Have you checked his basement for jars of eyeballs?

Nova

Gross

Blair

I don’t know what else you’re worried about

Nova

I haven’t seen his house yet

Blair

We both know this isn’t really about the house. You need to decide what you want. Definitely talk to the kids, but this is about you, too. It’s not just about them

Nova

Hardest balancing act ever

Blair

I’m still waiting on that name

Nova

I’ll try to get a picture for you

There was no way I was giving her direct access to stalk him online. I loved Blair, but I was also a little worried about what she might possibly do with that kind of access.

Maybe I’d snag a picture of him running across the field with a football. I folded my arms across my chest and searched the players, a smile tugging at my lips when I found Dusty. Man, he was hot. Sweat darkened the back of his shirt and made his forehead shine. He jogged with perfect form across the field and tossed a football to someone on the cops’ team. When his gaze swept across the line of spectators, he pointed directly at someone sitting in a camp chair and clapping—an older man with a baseball hat and a red firefighter’s T-shirt next to Tucker’s dad. He had Dusty’s same nose and identical laughing eyes, set within a mountain of wrinkles.

Had Dusty brought his grandfather? That was adorable.

He glanced my way next, and a grin spread over his face so wide it made me smile in answer.

I wasn’t entirely sure, because I hadn’t been watching Dusty before he noticed me, but I was pretty sure his performance went up. The man was a powerhouse. His muscles strained against his T-shirt sleeves, his back shifting while he caught and threw the ball. It was almost a shame they weren’t playing tackle, because I wouldn’t have minded seeing what that looked like.

Chad jogged by a minute later and winked at me. I flushed awkwardly, my cheeks growing hot.

“So which side are you on?” Gigi asked, approaching me at the worst possible moment. “Because I just noticed you getting ogled by men from both teams.”

“Which means both teams are on my side?” I asked, hoping to reroute the question. I slid my phone into my pocket. Photo evidence for Blair would have to wait.

I should have known Gigi couldn’t be so easily persuaded. “I’ve been warning men away from you since the moment you told me you’d be coming to Texas, but it doesn’t seem to have done much good. They still won’t leave you alone.”

She meant well, but it was still a little embarrassing when she acted like all these guys would want to date a tired mom of two. Not when my priority would always be Ben and Alice. I hip-checked my aunt. “Dusty told me about that.”

“Chad didn’t, though? I was a little more forceful with him,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Proof that he isn’t good news. He does his job well enough, but I wouldn’t trust him with your heart.”

“I’m not trusting anyone with my heart, Gigi.” Something about the way she said that nettled me.

“Not even Dusty?” she asked.

“No, not even him. I’m still…I just moved here. The kids are getting settled. I don’t know if we’ll stay in Texas forever.”

She drew her arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “I sure hope you do, kiddo. It’s been such a treat having you three around.”

Time for a subject change. “How is Phoebe doing?”

“Her neighbor has really stepped up, but she might have to move into a facility soon. Her motor skills will be deteriorating quickly.”

“That’s terrible. Do you need to go out and see her again?”

“Maybe next week,” Gigi said. “I need to look at the schedule. Her long-term memory hasn’t been affected yet, so she still knows me.”

“Don’t worry about the schedule. I’m here, Gigi. Use me. ”

She gave me a smile but didn’t say anything more. We watched the rest of the game until it was almost time for lunch, and Gigi walked back to the tables with me to start plating the desserts. A few older police officers and firefighters were manning the oversized grills and heating coals while women set up the burger fixings and table of potluck sides.

“I put everything under the table to keep it out of the sun.” I reached down to pull out the foil tins holding all the cakes and shrieked, dropping them back on the ground. They were teeming with ants, the little bugs crawling all over the foil inside and outside, covering my cakes.

“Oh, no,” Gigi breathed behind me, noticing at the same time.

I pulled out the plastic tote box and cooler holding the plates, forks, whipped cream and berry compote, and they were blessedly untouched. But the cakes were ruined. All one hundred of my mini angel food cakes were spoiled. I wanted to lie down on the grass and cry.

No, not the grass, because ants were everywhere.

“Don’t pick them up,” Gigi said, slapping the tin out of my hands when I bent over it again. “Those will bite, and it hurts.”

I trusted her, so I left my cakes on the ground. “Garbage bag?”

“Good idea. I’ll find one. You figure out how to salvage this.”

Salvage it? How? Give everyone a scoop of berries and top it with whipped cream? I wasn’t sure I had another option. By the time Gigi returned with an oversized black garbage bag and we managed to get all the cakes into it without getting bitten, the game was over and people were breaking up, taking down their camp chairs and moving to the picnic tables.

Dusty waved at me while he crossed the grass toward his side of the tables. The man was going to win now, no competition. He pointed at me with both hands and then dragged his thumb across his neck in the universal symbol of you’re going down .

I put my hands on my hips, and shook my head, unable to dampen my smile. Yes, I was going down. Yes, he would win. Ugh .

A large hand slid over my lower back, and I jumped, turning to see Chad leaning close, his hand dragging to rest on my waist. “Are you ready?”

Those little ants felt like they were crawling all over my body now. My gaze sought Dusty, whose jaw was hardening, obvious even from here. I stepped back until Chad’s hand fell and indicated the black garbage bag. “Well, we’ve had a bit of a setback.”

He folded his arms across his chest and nodded along like he was listening. He didn’t seem offended by my placing boundaries, but maybe he was just good at putting on a stone face. Cop skills.

“Ants got into the angel food cakes,” I continued. “They’re gone. We only have berries and cream.”

“Okay, well…I guess we serve berries and cream,” he said easily. I didn’t know why that was such a relief to me. This was a silly fundraiser contest and the outcome wasn’t going to make or break my friendships in this town—or so I hoped. All the same, it was a relief to know he wasn’t angry.

“It’s a plan,” I said.

“I’ll get started on the sliders.” He nodded toward the older gentleman standing at the grill. “People will start picking up plates in about twenty minutes. They’re going to make announcements about the winner of the ticket sales and the game and all that. I think the chiefs are going to rib each other a bit, too. We have time.”

My smile grew. I loved being around a police family, and the firefighter family wasn’t too bad, either.

He smiled softly, tipping his chin down like we were sharing a secret. “Don’t worry too much about ruining the dessert. We won the football game, at least, so hopefully this doesn’t lose the whole thing for us.”

My whole body tensed as Chad walked away. Guess I’d mistaken his attitude earlier. Hopefully this doesn’t lose the whole thing for us ? He was riding high on the endorphins of winning the flag football game, but that didn’t give him a license to be condescending. Like if we lose, it’s because of me, and not because Dusty could possibly make better burgers?

It almost made me want to trash the rest of my dessert and guarantee him a loss. I glanced up and caught Dusty watching me again. A smile curved over my lips.

Or maybe not.