CHAPTER NINE

Rhyan

"Urgh!" I groan out, awkwardly stuffing my clothes piled on my bed from this morning back into my closet without any kind of order or method. Some fall back out and pile on the floor at my feet.

"For fuck's sake!" I grumble, my frustration flowing through me, more at the anger of Noah walking out on me while I was trying to defend him rather than my clothes misbehaving right now.

Another shirt falls from the closet, and I reach out for it as it drops. My exasperation hits me like a ton of bricks. I spin on my heels, using all my weight to sink to the floor on my ass in a huff. Sitting cross-legged, I bring the shirt onto my lap and lean against the closet, letting out a long exhale. "What are you doing, Rhy?" I mumble to myself when a gentle knock sounds at the door.

Rolling my eyes, I figure it's probably Mom or even Dad coming to have another crack at making me feel like shit, so I slump further down. "I'm a grown woman. I don't need another lecture. Thank you, though," I call out sarcastically.

Slowly, the door begins to open.

Huffing, I turn, expecting one of my parents to walk through, but Noah pops his head in, his eyes cautious as he takes in the sight of my chaotic room. Normally, I would flitter about, trying to clean frantically, telling him I'm not normally this messy. But I'm furious at him, and frankly, I don't give a shit what he thinks right now.

Turning my head away from him, I continue to stay exactly where I am on the floor, clutching a random shirt while he walks in, closing the door behind him.

"You look mad," he says, his voice almost a whisper.

I let out a sigh as I spin back to him. "I thought I was, but I think I'm more disappointed."

He grimaces like that really hit him hard in the chest. He steps up, and then, surprisingly, he slides down right beside me, pressing his back against the closet and crossing his legs to mirror my pose. "You put yourself out there, defending me to your dad in front of everyone, and I took off in the middle—"

"I know, I watched it happen," I snap back at him.

His eyes meet mine, shining back at me with full sincerity. "I want you to know that my leaving when I did had absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with the respect I hold for your father."

"What about the disrespect it showed me?" I ask.

He rubs the back of his neck. "I never intended for it to come across that way, Rhy. Not ever. The thing is, and I just finished explaining this to your father, he saved me from a place I didn't think I would be able to come back from. Rhyan, I owe your father my life, so when he looks at me like I'm the worst person in the world for you, it fucking hurts. Because to me, he is one of the best people in mine."

My heart rate increases as I stare at him. Hearing him talk this way only ignites more questions than gives me answers. "I don't understand. How could I possibly, when I don't know anything, Noah? You hide everything from me. Are you trying to keep me safe, or are you too scared to open up to me?"

He turns away, resting his head against the closet, his eyes glancing up to the ceiling. "When I was young, all I knew was the sound of my father's fist pounding into my mother's body."

My brows furrow, and I say nothing, watching his blank expression while he continues, "It was relentless, night after night, even though Mom did every… single… thing… he asked of her. When I turned ten, that's when he started on me." I gasp, my heart leaping up into my throat. "But Mom seemed to grow stronger once the attacks started on me. She began to fight back. Tried to protect me as much as she could. Made plans for us to get out, and they were coming together. Until the night when it all turned to shit."

Goose bumps pebble my skin, my body shaking as I stare at him, entrapped by what he had to endure. I knew his past was bad, but I have a feeling it gets worse.

"I'd gotten into a fight with the dickhead kids at school. They said my mom was whoring herself around town, so naturally, I beat the shit out of them, which of course got me expelled." A weak smile crosses my face as I continue to listen. "When my dad got home from work and found out, he said to me, You reap what you sew. You beat the shit out of those kids, so I am gonna beat the shit out of you for getting expelled. And he did."

I reach out, gently taking his hand in mine. He keeps his eyes trained on the ceiling, but he turns his hand over, threading our fingers together, and continues, "That night, while Mom was tending to my wounds and tucking me in bed, we made a plan to pack our bags while he was at work the next day…" His jaw clenches, hesitating as if reliving a memory. I say nothing. I let him take his time to continue, which he eventually does. "That night, when my father fell asleep after dinner, we were gonna make a run for it."

Inhaling sharply, I sit taller. "What happened?" I whisper, eager to know.

He finally looks at me. "Mom accidentally let Dad's peas touch the mashed potatoes on his dinner plate. Dad hated his food touching… God only knew why. But it all went to hell from there."

My eyes widen, my mouth open. "What do you mean?"

He swallows firmly, his head resting against the closet, his eyes focusing on the ceiling again. "Dad decided to teach Mom a lesson. But Mom and I were going to leave that night, and if she was too badly hurt, there was no way we would be able to go. So, I panicked. I grabbed a knife and… I stabbed him in his gut."

My hand snaps to my mouth to cover my shock, my breathing frantic as Noah scrubs at his face like he is reliving the nightmare. "It all happened so fast. I went to stab him again, but he grabbed my wrist and yanked it so hard my wrist snapped. He pinned me to the wall by my neck. I couldn't breathe as he used his other hand to smash into my face."

Tears flood my eyes, my bottom lip trembling. I tighten my grip on our hands. "Jesus, Noah."

"That's when Mom grabbed the knife to defend me. She stabbed him until he dropped me. The neighbors must have heard the commotion and called the cops because they arrived right as Mom slid the knife across his throat to finish the bastard off."

I can't stop the tears from free-flowing down my cheeks as I imagine poor, young Noah trying to go through all this at such a vulnerable age. "How old were you when this happened?"

He rolls his shoulders. "Fourteen."

"Did they take your mother?"

"Yeah, she got life in prison. She's still there now. I was sent off to foster care, where I got into more shit with other assholes. One of which is sniffing around at the moment. We saw him today while we were out."

I stare at him. "That guy at the ice cream store?"

He looks at me, his eyes glassy, like he's having trouble holding it together. "His name is Atlas. He made my life in foster care hell."

I spin a little on the floor, facing Noah, and bring my hand up, cupping his cheek. He raises his brow like he's shocked by my move while I stare into his eyes. "You have a lot of baggage going on in that head of yours."

He sighs. "A lost cause, maybe?"

My heart races frantically as I caress his cheek, our eyes locking, that same energy buzzing through the air. "A work in progress, maybe."

He breathes faster, his hand on my hip, his eyes dropping to my lips. "I regret walking out on you defending me. I've only ever had two people in my life fight for me. The first is in jail, and the other is your father. Losing my mother was horrific. The thought that Dutch could abandon me too—" He stops, clear distress in his tone.

All it does is make me adore him even more and feel undeniably guilty for jumping to conclusions without knowing all the facts. A wave of emotion sweeps over me, and before I know what I'm doing, I rise, moving to straddle him. His bright green eyes widen as my hands hold either side of his face, his hands instantly gripping my hips. My eyes lock with his, staring back into mine. Finally, they're luminous with so much life and brilliance. The room feels like it is spinning, the oxygen becomes thin, and my head swirls with dizziness. His hands slide up my back, my fingers edging from his face around to grip his hair as I lick my lips.

"Last chance to back out, Rhy?" he whispers, leaning in closer, almost to my lips.

My heart races, and I pull him to me. "Not a fucking chance." Yanking his lips to mine, I kiss him forcefully. The instant his mouth is on mine, it's like the earth shifts, shaking the very fabric of space and time. Every part of me feels like it is imploding, like some kind of nuclear reaction pulling all my atoms in on themselves and then exploding into one harmonious symphony of fireworks and pure, unadulterated ecstasy. My heart beats so fast that the syncopated rhythm plays like a drum in my ear while Noah's tongue dances against mine.

His hand eases into my hair, gripping with just the right amount of tension as he tugs slightly, and I moan into his mouth. It's not enough. I need him closer. My fingers thread through his hair, and I kiss him back passionately, my body heating with the desire flowing through us, my clit beginning to ache with need as I sit on top of him. I can't help myself, and my hips begin to rock of their own accord as I grind down, the friction instantly drawing a deep, guttural growl from him. My breath hitches, but our kiss never breaks. Desperate for more, I grind down again, reveling in the feel of his hard cock against my clit.

My clit throbs harder. Kissing Noah feels like nothing I have ever felt before. It's like one of those kisses you see in the movies, but you think never truly exists. All I know is after spending today with him, with him willing to put his reputation on the line for me at the spa, with him opening up to me just now, and with him kissing me like this, I don't know if I could be any more attracted to him than I am in this moment.

I want him.

All of him.

My hands leave his hair and trail down to the buttons on my shirt, my lips still connected to his as I frantically undo them.

He breaks the kiss, only to nip and suck along my jaw and down my neck. A breathy moan escapes my lips, and I tilt my head, allowing him more access. My chest rises and falls, my back arching, and I grip his hair, forcing him lower. I'm rewarded with a low, appreciative growl as he bites at my nipple through my bra. "More, Noah," I demand, releasing him to slip out of my shirt and undo my bra.

"Fuck, Rhy…" his words trail off as he pulls back, watching the scrap of fabric fall free.

"Is that not the idea?" I tease, pulling him back, needing his mouth on me.

He doesn't disappoint, sucking on one nipple as his hand moves to lightly pinch the other. I tilt my hips, grinding and rocking back and forth against his clearly hard cock. Feeling him against my tingling pussy has me breathless, and even though we both still have clothing between us, the pressure is enough to have me gasping. I continue to grind down on top of him, needing the friction. His teeth are still working their magic on my nipple as I get off on his cock. My pace quickens, the ache in my belly growing with a palpable need. The roughness combined with the attention he is giving my breasts is enough to bring me close to the edge. "Oh God, Noah," I murmur, and just when I think it's not enough, Noah bites down on my nipple, tugging at it while pinching the other to the point of pain.

"Come for me, Rhy. I want to hear you moan for me." His voice is so husky and sensual it makes my clit throb. He moves his hips grinding up into me, the same time I rub down against him, and with one last harder bite on my nipple, my body pebbles in a wave of goose bumps as my eyes clench and stars glisten, shining bright behind my eyelids. The rush of adrenaline surges over me, and I shatter.

"Noah," his name is a stuttered plea as I come. My orgasm shocking my system through me as my fingers clench tight onto the leather of his cut.

I fall forward, sagging into him while I frantically try to catch my breath. I had no intentions of riding him with our clothes on—like some PG version of how to get off—but if he can make me see stars fully clothed, I'm dying to know what it will be like doing this completely naked with him.

Even though my body still trembles and I'm panting for breath, I desperately work at the button of his jeans.

"Rhy," he whispers, my eyes widening as he stops my movements.

I sit back a little, dropping my hands from his button as I stare at him, somewhat shocked.

I thought we were on the same page.

"You don't want to?" I ask hesitantly, my eyebrow raised.

He tilts his head, letting out a small groan. "Oh, trust me, I fucking want to. I really want to."

Furrowing my brows, I slowly slide off him and move to sit beside him, feeling embarrassed. "But?" I ask, slowly sliding my shirt back on over my exposed breasts.

Noah rubs at the back of his neck, his erection clearly tenting in his jeans. He subtly rearranges it in his pants. "But… I don't want to jump into this with you full steam and risk ruining it. I care about you too damn much. And watching you, hearing you come undone is more than I ever dreamed of."

Widening my eyes, a slow smile crosses my face as I watch his genuine expression. "You wanna take it slow?" I confirm, reading between the lines.

"Exactly. You're fucking amazing. I don't want any part of me and my fucked-up life to impact how perfect you are. So, if you're cool with taking this slow, just so I don't get it wrong and screw up like the screwup I am. I wanna try it that way."

"First of all, Noah, situations in your life have been screwed up. You, though, are not a screwup. I need you to know and hear me when I tell you that. Secondly, I think out of all the guys I have ever known, you're a real fucking gentleman. No one has ever wanted to take it slow. It just shows how decent of a guy you really are. And if you truly were a screwup, you absolutely wouldn't be asking for that option . At. All."

He sighs, reaching out for my hand, taking it to his mouth, and placing a tender kiss on the back of it. My heart instantly melts into a puddle as he continues to hold my hand in his. "I don't know what I did to be so lucky to capture your attention, Rhy. But fuck, I feel so damn honored you'd even look twice my way."

Shifting to sit on my knees, I turn to face him and smile genuinely. "You know what I think?"

"I have a feeling you're gonna tell me."

Shoving his shoulder, I smirk. "I think you act out doing all this crazy shit… lighting bars on fire, talking back to the cops. All that shit is a way to cope with your emotional baggage."

He slumps, letting out a long exhale. "Perhaps."

Sinking into the floor beside him, I nestle into his side. He wraps his arm around me, and I cuddle into him. "See… not just a pretty face."

He chuckles, pressing a light kiss to the top of my head. "You're so many things, Rhy. Including a pretty face."

Glancing up, I smile and lean in, pressing a light kiss on his lips. It's much softer, calmer, and gentler, but the intensity of the fireworks still feels the same. Slowly, I pull back, staring into his eyes.

Our eyes lock, and a moment of mutual understanding passes between us.

Today was a turning point in our relationship.

We've been dancing around each other since he arrived at the club.

Trading longing glances, sharing a short exchange here and there, but never stepping out of our comfort zones to embrace the possibility of what we could truly be if we give into the attraction.

Today, we did.

Today, we finally did.

And despite the hurdles, this day has been utterly, blissfully, and exceptionally perfect.