CHAPTER FOUR

Noah

My emotions are all over the place when I pull my bike into position in the clubhouse parking lot. Knowing my mother is blocking me from seeing her feels like a sledgehammer constantly pounding on my chest, making it harder to breathe.

The last seven years, my world has turned upside down since she's been in prison, simply for defending us from that piece of shit. The world is so unjustly cruel. I guess the only blessing is the judge delivered leniency because she was domestically abused and dealt her life instead of the death penalty.

We have to be grateful for small mercies.

Throwing my leg over my ride, I inhale deeply, knowing that I'm going from one shit fire to another. I left the club in a hurry. Alpha called in a favor for me, and now I have to face the consequences of my actions.

Straightening out my cut, I stride inside the clubhouse, holding my head high, trying to hide my insecurities from my brothers. I'm already the lowest rank here. I can't have them knowing I'm fucking shaking inside right now.

Making my way in, I spot South and Ingrid playing with their nine-month-old baby boy, Louis, on the floor. I exhale with a smile while watching the beginnings of a new family bonding. A knot forms in my stomach as memories of me with my mother, playing on the floor when I was young, hit me square in the chest.

Clearing my throat, I head further into the clubhouse, where Alpha is sitting with his Old Lady, Haven, and his seven-year-old daughter, Poppy. I let out a stifled laugh at how the world seems to be shoving happy families in my damn face today. But I need to speak to Alpha, and they seem to be deep in discussion with flyers strewn across the table. Hesitantly, I approach as Poppy points to a flyer. "I don't see why I can't go to this one?"

Haven snorts out a laugh, and Alpha groans. "Because, Poppy, that is a military school for training boys."

Poppy huffs. "Well, can't we find some kind of kickass school I can go to that does weapons training and shit for girls too? Dad, c'mon. You know I can handle this."

Haven grins, but Alpha glares at her. "Poppy, what have we said about cussing? You know your mother will kill me if I let you get away with talking like that."

Poppy shrugs with a bright, cheeky smile. "But Mom isn't here… is she?"

Alpha slumps into his chair, turning to Haven with a help me look.

Haven slides the brochures away from Poppy. "What about we talk more about this later, and in the meantime, you and I head out to the gun range, and we do some practice shooting while we let these guys have a chat?"

Poppy glances up at me and nods, folding her arms over her chest. "Noah, you're on my side, right?" she asks.

Raising my brow, I smirk. "Of course?"

She giggles. "Then convince my dad to send me to a good school. I don't want to go to an everyday, boring shithole—"

" Language , Poppy!" Alpha berates.

Haven hoists her up out of her chair. "C'mon, Miss, let's go shoot some of this frustration out of your system," Haven suggests.

Poppy glances at me, moving her two fingers to her eyes then points them at me as if to say I'm watching you , before she and Haven walk off.

I let out a snort as Alpha lets out a long exhale. "When Poppy came back into my life, I was so fucking ecstatic. I never thought for a second how much of a goddamn handful that little brat would be." A slow smile crosses my face when Alpha stands, signaling upstairs to the Chapel. "She reminds me of a certain prospect who is proving to be a handful too."

Grimacing, I scrub at the three days of growth on my chin. "Pres, I can explain."

Alpha purses his lips, nodding once. "Oh, you're gonna fucking explain, all right. Just not here. Get your ass up into the Chapel and don't sit down. You're gonna stand while we talk this shit out."

Nodding, I turn, walking for the stairs. The fruity smell of a familiar perfume hits my senses, and I shift my gaze to Rhyan, walking out of the kitchen while I head for the stairs. Her supple lips turn up into a gorgeous smile when we pass each other, not saying a word. I grin back at her, a lingering glance that expresses a depth of affection, and my heart beats a little faster from simply seeing her, and then, as quickly as she's there, she's gone.

The scent of her perfume somehow helps my anxiety and makes it a little easier to bear as I take the steps to the Chapel. Alpha isn't following me for some reason, so I turn back to see Rhyan staring at me. She quickly averts her eyes and keeps walking. I can't stop the smile from spreading across my face.

Taking a deep breath, I feel a thrill knowing she was watching me the entire time I ascended the stairs.

I know she's the forbidden fruit.

I can't go there for so many reasons.

It doesn't mean I can't admire her from afar or feel energized when I notice her looking my way.

But I have to keep my mind on the problem at hand.

Alpha will be coming in here soon, and I need to keep my focus and attention on him and whatever he's going to dish out to me.

Standing in the back corner of the room, waiting, it gives me a moment to think about what I should tell Alpha. I've got to tell him everything about Atlas—the whole story—so he understands what we're dealing with. I also need to discuss my mom and what she's dealing with in prison, so if he and the warden can help her, then I want that to happen.

But it's not my place to ask.

A prospect doesn't ask for help.

But I have to right now.

I have no other choice.

After at least ten minutes of standing, leaving me to contemplate in my thoughts, the thunderous stomping of multiple feet on the stairs alerts my attention. I stand taller, puffing out my chest as Alpha and Loki enter the room. Loki closes the door with a loud thud.

Alpha makes his way to the head of the table, Loki to his left. They sit at the end of the room opposite me.

Neither of them says anything—they simply stare.

I'm unsure if I should speak first or continue waiting, so I will make the first move. "Pres, I—"

"Did I tell you to talk, Prospect?" Alpha yells.

"No, Pres."

Alpha throws his hands into the air like he's frustrated. "The fuck, Noah? I'm constantly having to bail you outta shit. Last month, it was outta jail for telling a cop to go fuck a bucket of chicken. Then I had to calm the owner of Gears because you set the goddamn bar on fire, and now? Now, you race off to the women's prison without telling any of us what the hell is going on. You're not on the visitors list, and you know you won't be able to get in to see her, so you must have known you rocking up demanding to see your mother would have caused a stink. How the fuck did you expect to get in? You didn't think it through. You should have fucking come to talk with me. We're your brotherhood, Noah. We're your family now. We've got your back. But you have a fucking funny way of showing us you understand that."

I hear everything he's saying—the fact is, it's all completely true. "You're right… I should have come to see you before I went. It's no excuse, but when Atlas showed up and threatened my mom, I got so fucking scared. It took me back. And I know it's my fucked-up childhood trauma bullshit rearing its ugly head, and it's not your problem, but I already lost my mom once. Seeing her being beaten day in and day out by my father, and then her finally getting us that freedom from him, only for her to be taken from me by the cops…" My stomach twists as a vision of her being placed into the cop car while I scream out for her tears through my soul. "I'll never forget that night, Pres."

Loki glances at Alpha, and he exhales, softening his shoulders. "Okay… I hear you. I know your mom means everything to you. It's why I called in a favor to the warden. But Noah, if you wanna be a brother in this club, you have got to start relying on us. Trusting us. How are we supposed to put our faith in you if you won't put any in us?"

That panicked, overwhelming feeling ripples through me again. My hands slide up to my face, and I scrub at it. "Dammit! I don't want to fuck this up, Pres." I drop my hands, my hopeful eyes staring at him. "This club means everything to me, and I know I keep messing up, and I know you've given me multiple chances, but this guy from my past—"

"Atlas?" Loki interrupts.

Nodding, I exhale. "From what my mom said, he's in deep with this drug gang. They groom women to work for them, I'm assuming, to make runs for the gang. To sell and to look for buyers, whatever the fuck they need them to do to get sales. Then, these women take the fall when they get caught. They don't even care. They have them so well trained that they go to jail for the cause. These women are in with my mother at the moment causing her issues."

Alpha narrows his eyes. "And Atlas, he's the guy from your foster family. Why is he back?"

I crane my neck to the side. "When Mom got taken off to jail, I immediately went into foster care. The home I was placed in, the parents had zero control over the kids living there. Atlas was a couple of years older than me, so he ran the house. He was already heading down a dark path, and I was struggling with my mom being in jail and with everything that happened. I was only fourteen, and one day, Atlas and the rest of the kids decided it was the day to pick on me. They roughed me up pretty good, so I wanted to see my mom to get away from it. Tell her I hated my life and that I wanted her to break out of prison so we could run away together…" Alpha and Loki both sigh in response. "I found some Jack Daniels hidden in a cabinet, got drunk, and stole my foster parents' car. I was under the influence, under the legal age to drive, and I was making my way to prison to break my mother out."

Alpha grumbles under his breath. "Jesus, Noah."

Shaking my head, I continue, "Needless to say, I didn't make it to the jail. The car ended up in a ditch on the side of the road. I didn't want to get caught, so I called the only person I could think of."

Alpha snorts. "Atlas?"

I let out a mocking laugh. "Worst thing I ever did. Should have let the cops find me. I'd have gone to juvie, but it would have kept me out of that fucking house and away from Atlas. He held that rescue over my head ever since… until Dutch found me last year, drinking in Gears. I don't know what it was about me that made Dutch approach me that night. Maybe he could see I was drowning and needed saving. But as soon as I joined the club, I left that life with Atlas behind. I went off radar so Atlas would have trouble finding me. And now the only reason he did is because his female minions in the jail saw my club cut and reported it back to him. My guess is he's going to use my mom against me to somehow draw me back into his shitshow life."

Alpha rolls his shoulders. "That's not gonna happen. I'll talk to the warden, make sure everyone is watching out for your mom."

I nod once, my body easing from the tension it's been holding onto. "I'd really fucking appreciate that, Pres. I don't know anything about this gang Atlas has tied himself up with. I want nothing to do with it, and I want my mother nowhere near any of his shit."

Alpha weakly smiles. "Next time anything is going down, you come to me first before trying to handle shit on your own. You don't know what you could have been walking into at that prison today. Atlas could have been waiting for you there. You need to think before acting. Be one step ahead. I know you're new to all this, Noah, but you've been here long enough to know how shit works."

Dropping my chin to my chest, I bob my head in acknowledgment. "I hear you," I murmur, slowly looking back up at my president and VP. "Thank you… for not throwing me out on my ass."

Alpha shrugs. "Might be a fucking idiot, but I see potential. That's why I keep hedging my bets with you. But you've only got so many lives left, Noah. If you were a cat, you'd already be dead. You understand?"

"Maybe I only need ten lives to make it work?" I reply.

Alpha smirks. "Then make this last one count, Prospect. All right, get out of here. Loki's gonna look into this Atlas and see what we can come up with."

My eyes widen when I flashback to the woman in the prison. "Actually, while I remember, I ran into someone at the jail. She said she knew you, Loki. Said to say hi. Her name was Bea or something like that."

Loki jerks his head back in shock. "Why the fuck was Bea at the prison?"

Shrugging, I exhale. "Said something about a wellness app for prisoners or some shit."

Loki rolls his eyes, letting out a small groan. "Of course she fucking did. Little ray of sunshine thinks she can fix everyone. Fucking hell. Was her brother, Theo, with her?"

Shaking my head, I purse my lips. "Her brother? No, pretty sure she was on her own."

Loki huffs. "She's gonna get herself in trouble. Thanks for telling me. I'll sort all that out."

Alpha chuckles beside him, nudging Loki's arm. "This app is gonna be the death of you, brother."

Loki huffs. "Or Bea if she's not careful. I'm gonna go email her. Then I'll get straight onto looking into Atlas. You good for me to go, Pres?"

"Yeah, brother, all good."

Loki jumps up, taking off like a rocket past me for the stairs.

I turn back to Alpha. "Seems like that was important information."

Alpha snorts out a laugh. "Loki and Bea go way back. She's his best friend, Theo's little sister, so he feels like he has to try and take care of her, but she's such a free spirit it's hard to pin her down."

Raising my brow, I understand the problem completely. "With Loki being such a grouch, I bet she annoys the shit out of him."

"Like you wouldn't believe." Alpha grins. "Right, I need you to try not to worry about your mom. I will get that shit handled. Loki will look into Atlas. What I want you to do right now is have a drink and calm the fuck down. It's written all over your face how stressed you are. You're no good to us if you have a fucking stroke."

Snorting out a laugh, I weakly smile. "Thanks, Pres… I mean it."

"I know. You're on pig shit duty for a month, and I need you to make sure that the ammo locker is full. You will be their driver and security guard if the girls need to be transported anywhere. No exceptions. Do you understand me, Prospect?"

I dip my head. All things considered, I think I got off lightly. "Understood."

"Now get the fuck out," he states with a bright smile.

While letting out a long breath, I turn and walk toward the stairs. I had no idea it would go that way. The thing is, Alpha is a tough but fair president. And though he did tell me I am on thin ice, I know he's still looking out for me in the best possible way.

My eyes shift to Rhyan standing with Sadie and Clover at the bar, the three of them laughing over something. As I descend the stairs, I can't help but be so fucking grateful to Rhyan's father for bringing me into the club. But a small part of me wishes it was someone, anyone else, so I wouldn't have this debt to him. So I wouldn't feel like I have to steer clear of his daughter out of an obligation of respect and duty.

Watching the way Rhyan's eyes illuminate when she laughs makes everything I have been through in the last few hours seem pointless. Like nothing matters as long as she's happy. A slow smile crosses my face before I reach the bottom stair, and a slight ache fills my chest when I walk past her to the other side of the bar to grab that much-needed drink Alpha instructed me to get.

Yeah, maybe in another life.

Just not this one.

"Navy, can I grab a tequila? And keep 'em coming!"