CHAPTER ONE

Noah

CRASH!

My entire body jumps from shock as my mother's fragile body lands on top of the dining table, the brittle wood fracturing into pieces. She lets out a wail when she slams through the broken wood and onto the cold, hard floor, crying in unimaginable pain.

"I told you time and time again, Valerie. I don't want my fucking food touching on my damn plate!" my asshole father yells, bending down to what's left of our dinner on the floor. He scoops up some mashed potato and throws it in her face as she slowly tries to lift herself from the broken dining room table.

Standing back, my hands ball into fists, my body shaking in anger while watching him hurt her again—another night of unimaginable abuse—but tonight, he seems out of control.

The asshole's been drinking.

Maybe he's even had a hit or two.

Who knows at this point?

His head snaps to face me where I stand in the dining room doorway. "You see what I have to put up with, kid? This is why you don't get bitches knocked up. Because you have to stick around and put up with this bullshit insolence." His eyes meet mine, and there's no life in them. No remorse. Just the need to cause pain and use and abuse substances to get him by.

Mom sniffles, slowly wiping the potato from her face and stumbling to her feet. "Ronan, don't. Please don't talk to Noah like that. He doesn't need to see thi—"

Suddenly, he backhands my mom across the face, cutting her off and knocking her back down into the mess he's just created.

"Shut. Up! You stupid whore. This is a teaching moment for me and my son. He needs to know a woman's place."

A bead of sweat rolls down my temple while my nostrils flare, trying to keep my shit together. A wave of anger surges through me, burning me like a raging inferno.

My father is a monster, and for the past fourteen years of my life, I have watched him do this to my mother and me, day in and day out.

It stops today.

"Get your ass over here, kid. I want you to look at your mother and see what I see."

My muscles tremble, and I take slow, purposeful steps toward him, my mom sobbing, black and blue in the mess on the floor before him. I stand beside the tower of a man, and he wraps his stinking, sweaty arm around me, turning me to glance down at my mother. "Look at how pathetic she is. The only thing she is good for is fucking, cleaning, and cooking, and she can't even do that last one right. When you find yourself a whore, kid, you make sure you get one who has the trifecta and isn't defective like your damn mother."

Her eyes meet mine through her tear-soaked lashes before she subtly shakes her head. She can see it in my eyes. "Noah," she whimpers a quiet plea.

But I can't stand here and do nothing.

I have to try.

Clearing my throat, I turn to face my father with a nod. "You think you're such a strong man."

He narrows his eyes on me before Mom whimpers, "Noah, no."

Dad glares at me. "What did you just say to me, kid?"

Standing taller, I puff out my chest. "I said… you're nothing but a fucking wife beater ."

Tensing my muscles, waiting for the imminent strike I know is coming, my father's face turns bright red. He doesn't hesitate, drawing his left fist back and slamming straight into my jaw. The pain radiates through me like a sledgehammer. I drop to one knee, spitting out a line of blood as I kneel beside my mother.

She screams, her arms reaching out for me.

My head spins.

My father reaches for my shirt, but this is all part of my plan. Before he hoists me up by my shirt to my feet, I reach for the steak knife on the floor.

"Fight like a man, you little bitch, " he screams at me.

I stand to my feet in front of him, spitting out another line of blood while he glares at me, and I chuckle. "You want me to be a man, Dad? How's this for being a man?" I bring the knife around as fast as I can, slamming it straight into his stomach.

He groans loudly, and Mom screams again, scrambling to rise from the mess. I pull out the knife and try to stab him again, but the bastard's too strong for me. He grabs my wrist, yanking it down with such force that I feel my bones snap. I let out a loud yelp before the knife drops from my fingers. The pain radiates up my arm, paralyzing me momentarily, but it's enough for my father to shove me up against the wall.

My eyes meet his briefly, just long enough to know there's nothing there.

No soul.

No emotion.

Nothing behind them except pure, unadulterated rage.

His hand thrusts around my neck, pressing hard around my throat, blocking off my airway. My eyes widen as my hands come up, trying to fight him off while his other fist pulls back and slams me in the face, causing my eyes to roll around in my head. Dizziness takes over while he slams into me relentlessly with his knuckles. With my airway closed off, I can't breathe and struggle to stay conscious as blood pours out of my nose.

Suddenly, Dad lets out a groan. "Fucking hell, woman!" he growls out, his grip slipping from my throat before he drops me.

Dad turns, and with wide eyes, I watch Mom slamming the knife into him repeatedly. He stumbles, trying to grab her, but I won't let him hurt her again—no matter how hard it is for me to breathe right now. I lunge for him. Rushing for both his arms, pulling him back from getting to her while she screams in a frenzied attack, stab after stab into his chest and abdomen. He groans, blood spraying all over her already bloodied and beaten body. The asshole thrashes about in my hold, but I grip him as tight as possible while trying to catch my breath.

Mom cries loudly, screaming while she stabs so many times I lose count.

Dad stumbles, dropping to his knees.

He can't fight anymore.

And I don't have the strength to hold him because my wrist is killing me. I let him kneel before my mother as I stand back, panting. She stares at him, covered in his blood, and she shakes her head. "Fuck you, Ronan! You won't ruin our lives anymore, you piece of shit."

Dad chuckles out a garbled laugh, blood dribbling out his mouth. "Finally… you grew some balls, Val."

Mom stares at him with shaking hands while the sound of sirens blaring out the front of our home steals my attention.

Goddammit! The neighbors must have called them.

My head snaps up, fear racing through me. "Mom, the cops are here. Let them take him," I urge.

She glances at me, shaking her head, her bottom lip trembling. "If he stays alive, he'll come after us."

Dad begins to laugh, blood bubbling out of his mouth. "I'd say see you in hell, Val, but you're about to live in it." He growls, and the front door bursts open. Mom rushes forward, grabs Dad's hair, pulls his head back, and, without hesitation, slices the knife across his throat.

" Mom! " I scream out just as the cops rush in, guns aimed at us both.

"Get on the ground. On the ground now! " they scream in unison.

Mom begins to laugh, but it's a nervous one, like she's panicked and drops my father's dead body to the floor, then falls beside him with her hands above her head.

I drop to the floor before a female cop rushes to me, gently easing me up. "You're okay now. Come with me."

Shaking my head, I try to fight her off. "No, I want to stay with my mom."

She weakly smiles. "Your mother's in a lot of trouble. But we're going to get you somewhere safe."

I push the cop away from me and attempt to run toward my mom as two officers lift her and begin to cuff her wrists. "Mom! Mom!" I scream, but a huge officer grabs me around my waist, my legs kicking out while I scream for her.

Her eyes flood with tears, and then she weakly smiles at me. "It's okay, Noah. You're safe now. That's all that matters, sweetheart."

My eyes flood with tears as I continue to try to reach for her, but this bastard holds me back. "Let me go, asshole! She was defending us. Can't you see what he did? He was going to kill us both. It was self-defense. You have to do something," I scream, but no one listens. They just continue to walk my mother out of our home and onto the street with all the neighbors watching like the gossiping fuckers they are.

"Mom!" I shout at the top of my lungs.

Her eyes meet mine when the officer places his hand on the top of her head and eases her into the back of the patrol car. "Mommy," I whimper, more scared for what my life will now become.

She weakly smiles, gesturing a kiss, then mouths, I love you, Noah.

"I love you, Mom. I'll get help. I'll help you. I promise!" I shriek out the words before the door closes, slamming shut. My heart pounds faster and harder, and my breaths feel like I can't catch them. The officer holding me pulls me tighter to him as if he can sense somehow that I need the support, and I collapse into his arms.

My father is dead.

My mother is being taken from me.

I have no one left in this world.

I am completely and utterly alone.

What the hell am I going to do now?