21. Evie

It"s already beenfour months since we left the mountain. Living here, where all the homes are so close together, feels strange after being used to having to walk some distance to get to the nearest house. Jaz called me yesterday, and I wanted to ask her about Rebel, but I forced myself not to.

My parents have decided to sell their home and move to Florida. They are paying me back the money I gave them, and I'm also moving away, I don't know where yet. I'm taking an RV I bought and going on a road trip alone.

Kylie has decided to stay with our parents. She said she can help them, but I think it is because she's still scared. I know it will take time for her to get over what she went through. She still hasn't told us anything except that she was locked up and chained when she wasn't caring for the animals.

So Tater, Snookum, and I hit the road and decided to only stay in KOA parks where other people were around. I have a gun, and I'm not afraid to use it. I was scared of being alone, which is why I'm taking this road trip. I need to become stronger if I am going to be alone forever. I don"t think I"ll ever find someone I love as much as Rebel and Hannah. I prayed he would run after that taxi and beg me to stay with him.

I'm pathetic. Rebel made it clear that what we had was temporary, even though it lasted longer than his two-month rule. Now, I understood how Hannah"s mother felt. She was heartbroken. I swear I have a headache. I"m so tired of crying.

* * *

I started writing songs again,and all of them were heartbreaking. I"ve sold three of them. I"ll be able to pay back the Delta Force Guardians at this rate. It"s now been seven months since I"ve seen Rebel and Hannah. I was on my way to Los Angeles to receive an award for "Crying Angel. My song stayed in the top one hundred for twenty weeks straight, and "Wish He Were Here," another song I wrote, is climbing the charts, too

I decided that as much money I make as a songwriter, I could live in my RV for as long as I wanted. I parked on the beach and took a taxi to the awards. I was so nervous that I had to go shopping for a gown and shoes and I had my hair done. I couldn't remember when I pampered myself so much. I loved my hair and my nails. I almost didn't recognize myself when I put on my gown and heels at the salon, and I was so surprised. If Rebel could see me now, would he like this me or the ponytail me?

So many singers were at the Music Awards Ceremony, and I spotted Luke, who motioned me over to him.

"You look beautiful. Damn, I was telling everyone you were like my little sister. It's good I'm happily married, or I might start flirting with you," he said, showing me to my seat.

"I'm really nervous," I said, smiling.

"There's nothing to be nervous about. I should tell you we're going to be singing ‘Crying Angel' together."

"What? Oh my God, I don't think I could do that," I said, panicking.

"Of course, you can. I'll be right next to you, singing. You'll do great. I've heard you sing—you're better than most of the people here. You can do this, I promise," Luke said. I sat there for a while, meeting people. Everyone gave me their card and asked me to call them if I wrote a song that would fit them.

I was having so much fun, but when it was time for the awards, and they announced I won for best song, I screamed as I jumped up. Luke laughed and walked up with me to get the award. That's when it dawned on me that it was time to sing. Luke took my elbow and walked us to the microphones.

When the music started, I closed everyone out, remembering the pain I felt when I wrote this song. It all came back, and the pain was noticeable in my singing. When the song finished, I still felt the pain. Luke pulled me into his arms and kissed my temple.

"You could have made this song number one. You were terrific," he said, walking us backstage.

"Thank you, I'm not interested in singing. I'll stick to writing the songs," I said, smiling. I was bombarded by everyone wanting to sign me up. Luke took my hand and pulled me away from everyone.

"Sorry about that. They're like vultures when they smell new meat," he said, guiding us back to our seats. I was ready to return to my tiny RV and curl up on my bed. "I guess you know your song, Wish He Were Here, will also be number one, and you'll be here again. Or you can stay home and watch it on the television."

"I will probably take the second option. This is exciting, but it's not really me. I enjoy writing songs and winning awards, but I'm more of a hamburger-and-listening-to-the-radio kind of girl."

"My wife doesn't enjoy these things either. She will go with me, but she said since you would be here, she could stay home and watch the telly."

"She's an intelligent woman."

"Congratulations on winning, and thank you for letting me have that song."

"Thank you, and you're welcome. How much longer does this last?"

Luke laughed. "We can leave right now."

"Great!" I said, standing.