Chapter 6

The morning came,and I felt refreshed. Even better, Moloch didn't invade my dreams. Yet, I remained conflicted. Should I stay or should I go? A night's rest didn't make the answer clear.

The dreaded shake sat just inside my tent, and I grimaced. No thanks. I wanted real food.

A poke of my head outside the tent showed Cain had moved from his spot on the floor, but forget being protector-free. I spotted Vance watching not far away.

I ducked back in, not ready to talk to him. Might have stayed there all morning if not for my growling tummy and the fact I had to pee so fucking bad it hurt. Time to face the world.

I exited my tight canvas home and marched my ass to the bathroom. Took my time before emerging and walking smack-dab into Vance. He steadied me before I could hit the floor. A tingle went through me at his touch, and I might have leaned into him if he hadn't released me and stepped back.

"Morning, Sadie."

"Hey."

"How are you feeling today?"

I offered him a dark look. "Feeling kind of bullied because of my forced nap by Nova."

He at least had the grace to wince. "I heard. She thought she did you a favor."

"Ah yes, because sleep fixes everything. Guess what, it doesn't." I waggled my fingers. "Still useless and people are still dead."

"Is she still whining?" Cain appeared on my blind side, and I shot him a scowl.

"Some protector you are. You let a witch cast a spell on me."

"Because you were being irrational," he stated with a hint of censure.

My brows shot up at his claim. "I'm sorry, but my thoughts and feelings are my own. The fact you don't like them is irrelevant."

"I see you're still in the mood to bitch and moan. Should I fetch you a tiny violin? Maybe some cheese to go with the whine?"

I glared.

Cain smirked.

Vance sighed. "Would you two knock it off?"

"He started it," I snapped.

"Only because you're a grown-ass woman who's acting like a bratty child," he retorted.

"I hate it here," I groused as I stalked past them both, annoyed because, as usual, he called me out, and rightly so. I was being an ass. I just couldn't help myself.

The guys followed but at a distance. As I piled my plate, I could see Vance talking intently to Cain, who stood, arms crossed, looking unimpressed.

When I'd put as much bacon and fruit as I dared on my plate, I joined Mizuki at the breakfast picnic table where I nibbled the protein.

Mizuki eyed me with concern. "You okay, Sadie?"

"Yeah." Physically at least. My mind on the other hand? Muddled.

"Barron got back just after dawn and says they think they got all the demons that attacked the cinema," she announced.

"Really?" Finally, something positive.

"Says it was the biggest nest they'd ever seen. Good thing they had a squad of two dozen reapers."

"Nova says they're immigrating here."

"I heard. It's never happened before. Not to mention in the numbers we're seeing." Mizuki's eyes were wide as she gestured. "Barron thinks we're a few weeks away from something big."

"Sounds like you two had quite the chat. Your plan to seduce him is going well then?"

Her nose wrinkled. "Not exactly. The man hasn't even kissed me yet, probably on account he doesn't shut up when I seek him out."

"Maybe he's nervous?"

The suggestion had her blinking. "Barron nervous? That's crazy."

"Is it? Could be he likes you, too, but he's shy about making a move."

"My shirts can't get any more low-cut and obvious."

"Why not kiss him first?"

"You know what, I just might," she replied fiercely.

"What's on the agenda for today?" I asked. "Shall we preserve some more candles? Maybe not circulate air? Or how about leaving the glass of water untouched?" Yes, I was being sarcastic about my failures.

Mizuki shook her head. "Afraid no lessons today. Helen isn't feeling well, so I offered to take her place on a hunt." She smiled. "I'm finally going to get to fight."

I envied her enthusiasm. "Be careful."

"Oh, I will. And I'm sure Barron will watch out for me."

"When do you leave?"

"Soon."

"Guess I'll see you later then."

She placed her hand on mine. "Use the down time to rebalance your chakras. You had a tough day. It's okay to be bummed and out of sorts. We'll pick up again tomorrow."

I should have been glad I didn't have to deal with my personal failure to live up to everyone's expectations. Instead, I couldn't help but be miffed. Everyone here had a role, a task, except for me. I didn't fit in.

You're useless.

A nobody.

A waste of space.

The voice of my parents came back to haunt me. And they weren't wrong.

It never became as obvious as when I looked around to see everyone busy. While Vance appeared to be doing nothing, I knew he had a job. Guarding my useless butt. A butt that craved a cigarette. I bummed one from Cody, who stood watch by the door, since he always had a pack on him and then headed upstairs.

Vance didn't try talking to me until I'd gone to sit on the edge of the rooftop, cigarette dangling from one hand.

"You going to be okay?" he asked. "You seem out of sorts."

"Maybe seeing people slaughtered is normal for you, but I'm not so blasé." Not the true reason for my mood but I chose not to tell him I was still thinking about quitting.

"It's not easy," he growled. "Trust me, I'm upset and wishing I could have done more."

"But you couldn't because you were guarding me. And then to make things worse, Nova's plan to jump-start my magic failed."

"She only did what she thought was right."

"By tossing me into danger."

"Cain and I made sure you didn't come to harm."

"Barely." Then it hit me. "You both knew about her plot?"

"Yeah. If it helps, Cain wasn't happy about it, let me tell you. He argued quite strenuously."

"Explains why he kept trying to convince me to go back." I should have listened after meeting Moloch in the park. Which reminded me, I'd told no one of my conversation or dream, and now I'd waited too long. How could I bring it up now? So by the way, I forgot to tell you… Nova would be so pissed I'd held back, and what would telling accomplish? We already knew Moloch wanted to use my blood to free him. We knew demons could inhabit humans. The only new thing I learned was he wanted to use my body to make babies. The very idea made me want to jump off the building.

And then there was the question of whether or not stripping me of magic would be enough to avoid Moloch's threats. I still worried that the guild could decide the risk wasn't worth it and the only sure way to prevent Moloch's release would be by taking my life. Melodramatic? Maybe, but, at the same time, I doubted anyone would value my life over the decimation of humankind.

I sucked on the cigarette as Vance stood downwind, still talking. "If Cain could, he'd bubble wrap you."

"And you wouldn't?" I countered.

"I think you're more capable than you believe and that Nova has a point about stress being your trigger for magic."

"You agree with her decision to use me as bait." I shook my burning cig at him and glared.

"I agree that you needed something to shock you out of this belief you have that you're powerless."

"It's not a belief but fact."

"I've seen you use it. You're more powerful than you give yourself credit for."

"A fluke. You should ask Mizuki how bad our lessons have been going." I couldn't recapture what I'd done before so effortlessly. The more I tried, the harder I failed.

"Because you don't believe."

"Bullshit. I've seen demons. I've seen magic. I believe."

"Not in yourself."

I threw up my hands. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Stop standing in your own way."

A lifetime of being told I'd never amount to anything wasn't so easy to shake. "The whole lot of you are fucking insane."

"Cain is right. You're stubborn and determined to complain."

"You and Cain shouldn't be talking about me behind my back."

"Given we're in charge of your safety, we kind of don't have a choice."

"What else about me do you hate? Sound of my voice? Way I look?" I couldn't help snapping. Knowing they thought so poorly of me hurt. The fact they had a point didn't matter. Yes, I'd been complaining, but I had good reason. Right?

You don't have to listen to them. You can leave. Emilia offered you an out.

It took me a second to grasp that Vance had replied, and I thought I'd misunderstood. "Excuse me? Could you repeat that?"

"I said I don't hate you. Far from it. Nor are you ugly. As a matter of fact, your looks are ridiculously distracting."

I blinked. "You think I'm pretty?"

"As if you don't know," he scoffed.

"But I don't wear makeup, and my clothes are…" I gestured at the track pants I wore.

"Superficial additions. You have a natural beauty. But it's more than that. Your wit is sharp. Your laughter naughty. And your ass is fucking amazing."

I gaped at him. Vance Williams, the detective who'd not long ago been busting my balls, thought I was sexy. I frowned. "If I'm so hot, why haven't you made a move on me?"

"Because Cain was interested first."

"And I keep telling you that's bullshit. He thinks I'm annoying."

"Yes, but then again, so is he. And given our past, the fact he made it clear he has a thing for you means I can't get involved."

"Do you want to?"

He reached out to brush the backs of his knuckles over my cheek. "Doesn't matter if I do. I ignored Cain's feelings once before. I won't do it again."

"What about what I want?"

"You like Cain."

"I like you, too," I admitted, which immediately heated my cheeks.

Before he could reply, the door to the roof slammed open, and out stalked Mr. Grumpy himself. His gaze went from me to Vance, and he stiffened before barking, "The Regina wants to see her."

"Her has a name," I reminded him.

"Fine. Sadie, get your ass inside and talk to Nova."

"Say please," I taunted.

"I swear to fucking Christ, woman, you are tempting me to put you over my knee."

"Go ahead. I hear it's great foreplay." Yeah, that was a daring barb to toss, but the result? The man turned red, and his jeans didn't hide his sudden boner.

I'll be damned. He did have the hots for me. Not that you could tell by the way he whirled and snarled, "Let's go."

Vance leaned close to murmur, "Told you so."

I almost said, "So what?" If this was Cain's idea of flirting with a woman he liked, then no wonder he remained single and grouchy.

The men flanked me going down the stairs, Cain rigidly stomping down and Vance behind me—staring at my ass? He had said he liked it, and even I could admit my butt looked good. Maybe not in track pants, but I'd gotten compliments when wearing snug jeans.

How annoying, though, that the guy who admitted his interest wouldn't do anything about it because of the guy who acted as if I were a zit on his ass.

We hit the main level, and I headed for Nova's office, only to see her rushing out, barking orders. "Helen! Cecily! To me."

As she shouted for the two witches, I noticed more activity than usual. Men gearing up as if going to battle.

"What's happening?" I asked.

Cain frowned in reply. "Looks like they're getting ready for a big fight."

It was Vance who snagged a reaper as he passed us to get details. "Where are you heading?"

"Supposedly a gigacerta emerged and is rampaging in a parking garage."

"A gigacerta? Here?" Even Cain looked astonished.

"What is a gigacerta?" I queried to no one in particular.

The reaper replied. "A giant lizard that tunnels underground before emerging to snap its prey. Nasty buggers, or so the history books say. Hasn't been one seen on Earth in centuries."

"When are we leaving?" Cain asked.

Vance put a hand on his arm. "We can't go." He looked at me, and then so did Cain.

His glower almost toasted me to a crisp. "Right. Guess we're staying behind."

"Don't stay on my account," I huffed. "I'm sure I'll be fine."

My comment only served to deepen his scowl. "I'm not going anywhere. This could be another diversion to get at you." He referenced the fact it had happened before. When my apartment building had been compromised by a horde of demons, they'd sent me off, only to realize after that it had been a ploy to leave me pretty much unprotected.

Vance nodded in agreement. "He's got a point."

"Oh, for fuck's sake. It's obvious he wants to go. Why not swap with someone who'd rather not be eaten by a monster?"

"Because I don't disobey orders."

I stepped closer. "Then how about because I don't want you here if you're just going to be a sulking prick about it."

"I'm not sulking."

"Tell that to your lower lip," I taunted. It wasn't actually jutting, but his mood couldn't have been clearer.

"How about we all calm down." Vance tried a conciliatory tone.

Cain and I lasered him with a dirty look.

"I'm going to my tent," I announced. "Have fun guarding canvas."

I stalked to my room and regretted it, as I could hear the commotion but not watch. All too soon, things got quiet. Only then did I peek out to see Cain pacing by the door to the outside while Vance sat on an untapped beer barrel. He noticed me and rose from his seat.

"Need something?"

"To pee. Going to watch and wipe my cooch?" Rude and uncalled for and yet I remained miffed at Cain's attitude, so Vance got the brunt.

"I think I'll pass. Holler if you see anything."

I stomped my way to the bathroom, and while I did have to pee, I did so quickly then stood in front of the sink, staring at myself in the mirror. I looked miserable. Felt it too.

You need to leave. The insidious voice just wouldn't stop.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I whirled to see Emilia had entered. I shrugged. "Fine, but Cain's pissed. He wanted to go play with the monster, but he's stuck babysitting me."

"I'm surprised they didn't take him. He's the top hunter when it comes to funky beasts from Inferis."

"Explains why he's mad. I told him to go, but he pulled some bullshit about duty."

Emilia leaned against the sink and laughed. "He's a true reaper soldier, that's for sure. If Asher told him to jump off a cliff, he'd do it without question."

"No one should ever follow blindly."

"Agreed." Emilia turned to look at herself in the mirror and casually asked, "You given any thought about my offer?"

"Yeah, I've done nothing but. Does it hurt?" I didn't do well with pain. Stubbing my toe had me sucking back ice cream like it would numb the throbbing. It didn't, and I usually got a sore stomach before I stopped trying to eat my way out of misery.

"You won't feel a thing other than free."

"Nova said she'd make me forget everything about demons and reapers and all the rest if she took it."

"That I can't do." Her nose wrinkled. "Unless you want your brain scrambled."

"Honestly, I'd rather remember." At least then if I saw the fog, I'd know to hide, unlike the oblivious humans who tended to get slaughtered.

"Whenever you're ready, come find me." Emilia spoke as if she expected me to do it.

Should I?

A true heroine wouldn't even be questioning. She'd be working on developing her skills.

Before I could say anything, the floor underfoot rumbled hard enough I braced myself on the sink.

"What's happening?" I shouted.

"Earthquake?" Emilia didn't sound certain and bit her lower lip.

The door to the bathroom slammed open just as the shaking stopped. Vance stood there looking harried. "Sadie, you need to come with me right now."

"What is it?" I headed for him.

"A gigacerta just broke through the floor by the kitchen."