CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

REAPER

I follow Bones inside with Bella in my arms, pulled against my chest, and Athena looks on with a face that reflects horror as I follow Bones upstairs. We go into a guest bedroom, and I lay her on the bed.

“I’m gonna give you two privacy, but if you need anything, yell for me. The doctor is on his way. You should stay here for a few days. Athena will probably be good for her.”

I know what he’s referring to, but I don’t respond. That will ultimately be up to Bella. Her lashes flutter open, and she quickly turns her head away from me.

I stroke her hair while she speaks low, but above a whisper.

“Don’t touch me. Please get your hands off me.”

Immediately, I remove my hands from her and try to reassure her, “Baby, it’s Nico.”

Through a clenched jaw, she says, “I know who you are. Don’t fucking touch me.”

I don’t have very long to contemplate what’s going on, before there’s a knock at the bedroom door, and the doctor comes in.

He nods to me.

“Dr. Messina. Bones asked me to help. He informed me of the situation.”

Walking over to Bella, he introduces himself.

“Can Reaper stay in the room? Or would you rather he leave?”

She sobs loudly, and it tears me to shreds.

“Please make him leave.”

I could easily tell the doctor to fuck off and refuse to leave, but if this is what she wants, I should go. Standing in the hallway, Athena comes up to me, with a look of concern on her face. She wraps her arms around me as Bones looks on. Normally, my brother would tell me to get my hands off his wife, but he doesn’t.

“She asked me to leave.”

Athena takes my hand and pulls me to the sitting room, the next room over. “I want to talk to you about something.”

We walk in and she points to the couch. “Sit.”

Bones stands in the doorway, staring at my sister-in-law like she hung the goddamn moon, and for the first time I get it. She sits beside me.

“Reaper, what she went through, nobody other than her even knows how bad it was, but we know enough to know she’s likely traumatized. After you guys found me, I felt ashamed, scared, and thought Luca would look at me differently. He showed me love and patience, and eventually I found myself on the other side of things, but it wasn’t an immediate process. The only way out of this is through. She has to go through it, and so do you.”

“Did you tell Bones not to touch you? And to leave?”

She shakes her head no and places her hand over mine.

“Everybody’s experience is different. How she processes things will not necessarily be the same as it was for me. Patience is the only way. Give her what she needs. If you don’t know what that is, ask her.”

I shake my head.

“She’s going to leave me, and I’m going to let her.”

“What?” Bones says, as he walks over to us and sits on the chair beside the couch.

“We did not just go through this for you to not be with her.”

Athena holds up her hand. “Luca. Not now.”

“Talk to me. What makes you say that?”

I look away from my sister-in-law, because right now I can’t handle her kind eyes, the way she looks at me like I’m something other than what I am .

Hanging my head down, I admit, “This is my fault. Everything that happened to her is because of me.”

I jump when I hear her screaming, and immediately go to knock the fucking doctor on his ass, but Bones stops me.

“Let him do his job.”

“Can I have a few minutes alone with Reaper?”

He growls, “No.”

She tilts her head at him. “Luca.”

With a glare, he says, “Butterfly.”

Athena does not back down from him, she persists, “Luca. Go check on your brothers. I want to talk to Reaper alone.”

He walks to the door and turns to me with a glare. “Keep your fucking hands off my wife.”

“There you are. I thought we lost you.”

Bones grumbles something inaudible as he walks out the door.

“There are no annoying men here now, to tell you not to feel or express emotion. Talk to me.”

I sigh and close my eyes, so I don’t have to look at her facial expressions.

“Short version is my uncle raped me when I was a kid, for years, with a pipe. I told Bella because, I don’t know, I had some stupid idea that she had to know me completely, and why I’m so fucked up. Also, I told her I hadn’t killed him, because I couldn’t stand to be in the room with him long enough, so crazy thing that she is, she did it herself. If I had the balls to do it, this never would have happened. If I did the right thing, she wouldn’t be in there with…”

I don’t finish my sentence, because I can’t even fucking say it.

“The point is, this is my fault. I did this. I am the reason she ever killed anyone. This is all my doing.”

“I killed my father for what he did to me.”

Glancing up at her, I’m confused, because I was there.

“I could’ve never done that without my husband, and his brothers there. Would I have ever gone back to face him on my own? Not a chance. Because that is trauma, Reaper. The fear of facing him does not make you weak. When you’re put through something like that, you don’t want to go face the monster who hurt you.”

I don’t respond, because I’m not sure how to, and she continues.

“This is not your fault. It’s not hers either. There’s one person to blame for this, and according to Luca, he’s dead. Give her time. Be there for her, and you’ll both get through this. Show her how much you love her, and that this changed nothing, because I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that’s what she fears most.”

The doctor knocks on the door and enters, ending our conversation.

He points to Luca’s vacated chair.

“May I?”

I nod, and he takes a seat.

“Physically, she’s going to be okay. The pipe didn’t appear to cause any damage, but she’s going to need some further testing to be sure. However, I didn’t see any tearing, or anything that I would be immediately concerned about.”

Dragging my hand down my face, I say, “She was unconscious when we found her. Is that a concern?”

His phone buzzes, but he silences it and responds, “Not really. It’s possible she passed out from the trauma, or the pain. I guarantee it wasn’t pleasant. I did check her head for wounds, and I didn’t see anything obvious. Also, she said she didn’t hit her head. Her memory is intact, and she was able to recount details of the event.”

He pushes the glasses back on his face.

“I asked her if she would be willing to speak with a therapist, and she declined. Ultimately, that has to be her decision, but it is something I’d recommend. Bones and Athena can tell you, we have a few that work with mafia families. They’re familiar with your lives.”

He means crime, and that they won’t run to the police with information .

“That’s not why she said no. I don’t know why she won’t see someone, but Bella doesn’t come from the crime world. She wouldn’t know about the risks involved with speaking to the wrong people.”

He hands me a card.

“If she needs anything, call me. I’m available for your family twenty-four/seven. And if she changes her mind, let me know.”