Chapter 25

W e gathered in the sitting room closest to the safe room. Ordell and Hemlock had been silent and watchful since my revelation, but I could sense that they had questions. I was grateful for them holding back because I needed a minute.

It took a while for the connection to fade, for the emotions of my past self to mute so I could come back to the now. To Orina. But they were there. Proof of who I was. Proof of who I’d been and what my purpose was now. The white wings had wiped Arabella’s memories but not all of them. Not the memories of her mother. They settled in my mind now, a part of me and yet separate.

I released Daisy from the spirit trap the only way I could figure out how: by smashing the damn thing. Turned out that these traps could only hold one spirit at a time, so Daisy going in had forced it to eject Ingrid.

She’d been willing to sacrifice her freedom to help me, and that…that mattered.

She emerged in a rush, dispersing as mist before taking form. But she looked different. Her eyes weren’t dark pits any longer. I could see her warm brown irises.

“Thank you for freeing me,” she said.

“Did you know?” I swallowed past the lump of emotion in my throat that Ingrid’s lullaby had left. She’d been Arabella’s mother, and I’d acutely felt the connection. For a few moments, I had been Arabella once more. “Did you know I was Arabella reborn?”

“I suspected as much after I tricked you all those nights ago.” She had the grace to look embarrassed.

“After you tried to get me mauled?”

“Yes.”

“But you feel…better?”

“I do. I feel clearer. Like the days when I came to work for the Tepes family before we were trapped by the curse and forced to follow him wherever he went. Before we were bound to the brick and mortar that he calls his home. I was the last to lose my wits and my mind. The youngest lost one, but the clouds in my mind are lifting, so it means that there’s hope. You’re our hope.”

There was no longer any doubt in my mind. “We have to get her out.”

“The door to the lost room is barred,” Daisy said. “Ingrid is containing the mad spirits.”

“The way to free her from her obligation is to end the curse,” Ordell said. “You’re the first incarnation that has succeeded in controlling the darkness inside her.”

My darkness…Loviator’s darkness. I’d felt it all my life, latent and potent, but I’d succeeded in squashing it time and time again, to focus on protecting the innocent and the way of the Order.

“You only ever broke when Ezekiel hurt innocents,” Ordell said. “You’ve managed to train your darkness to rise only in response to injustice.”

“We can use that to our advantage,” Hemlock said. “If you can guide Ezekiel out of his nightmare, then we have a strong chance of breaking the curse.”

“Has he ever woken from the nightmare?”

“No,” Ordell said. “The last times he was triggered, he eventually fell into a deep sleep that lasted until his next rising.”

“Did you have your Arabella on hand to help any of those times?”

“Yes. Once,” Hemlock said.

“She tried to kill him, and we were forced to end her,” Ordell said.

Ice trickled down my spine. They’d told me they’d killed the past Arabellas, but now that I knew that I was her, it meant that it was past versions of me they’d killed.

“Don’t dwell on it,” Ordell said. “Please.” He looked pale. Sweat beaded on his brow.

“Ordell?”

He smiled. “I’m fine. Just hot.” He plucked at his long-sleeved polo. “Not used to wearing knitted stuff.”

“Then take it off.”

“Hardly the time for a show, is it?” he teased, but I wasn’t having it.

“How bad is it? The rash. And what does it mean?”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Ordell said. “It’s just part of the beast cycle and?—”

“Stop it! Stop lying to me. I’ve had enough of half-truths, secrets, and uncertainty, so tell me exactly what the fuck is going on with you.”

“You should tell her,” Hemlock said.

Ordell stared at him in shock. “What?—”

“You’ve mate-marked her, so you should tell her.”

Ordell ground his teeth.

“Show her,” Hemlock pressed.

Ordell reluctantly lifted his shirt and revealed his torso. Not a rash but beast skin, gray and hairy.

“Oh…” I reached out to touch it, but he stepped back and dropped the hem, covering up the gray expanse.

“It’s the curse,” Hemlock said. “It’s punishing him for not consummating.”

“We don’t know that for sure,” Ordell said.

Hemlock made a sound of exasperation. “What else could it be?”

“If it is the curse, then all the more reason to allow Orina to focus on breaking it,” Ordell snapped. “Once it’s lifted, then all this”—he indicated his torso—“will be gone too.”

The pressure was even higher now. “Then we should get started. Send a Raven to the chapter house to let them know I won’t be back until Ezekiel wakes from his nightmare.”

“What about keeping up appearances?” Ordell asked. “Whoever sent Ruby will be expecting it to be business as usual for you.”

“Ruby could have sent a message to them for all we know,” Hemlock said. “Everything she told us could have been a lie, from how she came to have a glamoured face to how she infiltrated the veins that Christian sent us.”

“Are you saying the House of Spirit could be involved in this?” Ordell said. “That Ezekiel’s own bloodline could be working against him?”

“Anything is possible.”

I didn’t believe that the head of the House of Spirit could have anything to do with this. I’d seen how awed he’d been in Ezekiel’s presence. No one was that good an actor. “Christian worships Ezekiel. He built a church for him, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t someone in his house who might be working against him.”

“We’ll have to be wary,” Hemlock said. “In the meantime, you’re safest here with us. If Ruby did get a message out before she killed herself, then whoever sent her will be looking for another way to get you out of the picture.”

Shit, I hadn’t thought of that.

“Hemlock is right,” Ordell said. “And so are you, Orina.” He smiled tightly. “Best you stay here until Ezekiel regains his senses.”

“And after that? I can’t abandon my team. There are things happening in this territory that make no sense, and I need to figure out the big picture.”

“We can worry about that when Ezekiel comes out of his nightmare,” Ordell said.

“And Kaster?” Hemlock asked with narrowed eyes. “He’ll have questions. Orina is dating him now, after all.”

Shit.

“Then we tell him the truth,” Ordell said. “Lauden knows anyway, and now his son will also. Besides, he has connections, the power of the Sangualex. He could be useful in helping us locate the person who sent Ruby.”

My stomach trembled because telling him the truth meant revealing my feelings for Ezekiel. Would that change how Kaster felt about me?

If it did, then it was best to know now before…before I fell too deep.

“Do it. Send a Raven to my team and speak to Kaster.”

“I’ll go,” Ordell said. “You stay with Orina.”

“The staff will need guidance,” Daisy said, reminding me that she was still in the room. “With Ingrid gone, they’ll work in a daze, moving through chores in sequence with no autonomy. When we crossed paths in the spirit trap, Ingrid asked me to watch over them. To guide them until she returns. I won’t let her down.”

It looked like we all had a job to do, and it was time to get started.