Chapter 12

EDWIN

I ’ll never admit it to Haiden, but Odi makes the best cuppa. I’m not sure what tea bags he uses, but whatever brand, they’re top notch for flavor.

The Night librarian shoves a cupcake into his mouth, dusting the counter with crumbs, which he then swipes at with the palm of his hand. They vanish, almost as if they’ve been soaked up by his skin. And who knows, maybe they have.

Odi is an enigma. A being not of this world even though he wears a human skin. I sense his otherness. Not the supernatural kind of otherness, but the kind that tells me that this world is a mere speck to him. A tiny consequence in a vast universe of consequences.

“Ah, Edwin my friend,” he says. “I do enjoy our visits, but no books have arrived today either, I’m afraid.”

“That’s all right. I came for the tea.” I wink and take a sip. I have my own stool now on this side of the counter. It appeared after my third visit, and by the fourth, I was bringing cake and Odi was providing tea.

I like it here. It’s quiet and peaceful, and there’s Odi with stories to tell.

But he seems a little distracted today. “Is everything all right?”

“Oh…yes, yes, just some murmurs in the ether. Enough to discombobulate. Nothing I can’t handle. Nothing that will last. So tell me, how is your associate Padma faring?”

Odi is the only other person outside of our team and Dr. Jaq that knows about Padma’s infection. Finding the right books required explaining what it was we were looking for, but so far there’s been no luck for Padma.

“Padma is holding on. She’s putting a brave face on it, but I can see the toll it’s taking on her. The fear and uncertainty of what will happen if the transfusions fail…”

His eyes gleam from left to right as if someone is shining a penlight across his irises. This happens when he mulls things over. He blinks and shoves another cake into his mouth, sprays more crumbs, cleans up, then speaks. “Edwin, my friend, I have not been completely forthcoming with you.”

“Oh?” My scalp pricks because I can sense there’s an important revelation incoming.

“There are books…forbidden, dangerous books held in a vault. They cannot be checked out. But a request can be made to visit the vault.”

My heart leaps. “Then I want to do that.”

“Wait. Listen. Most that go do not return. It is a perilous place. A hungry place. Hungry for knowledge and memories and oftentimes flesh. Those that go enter with the understanding that they may never return. Scholars, desperate to have the mysteries of the universe answered, arcane users eager to advance at all costs and all risk. I do not think you are either. If you apply and are accepted, then you risk leaving your family and friends behind.”

“I don’t have any family…well, none that cares for me.” My parents loved each other too much to have any love left for me. I survived on the scraps handed down by extended family until I was initiated into the Order. “The Order is my family now, I guess, and I’ll do anything to keep them safe.”

He leans in, eyes at half-mast. “You love her.”

A burn climbs up my neck and stings my cheeks. “Yes. I suppose I do.”

“Does she know?”

I shake my head.

“If you apply and are accepted, then I suggest you tell her how you feel before you leave.”

“No.”

He cants his head. “No?”

“I wouldn’t want to burden her with my feelings, especially when she doesn’t feel the same way. It would only make her feel guilty.”

“And what if she does return your affections?”

“Trust me. She doesn’t.”

“Humor me.”

I haven’t let myself hope that she might have feelings for me. I mean, I’m me, and she’s…amazing. Padma…when I think about her, my insides grow warm and mushy, and when I’m with her, I feel complete, but if I tell her and she gets freaked out and I lose our closeness…No. I can’t do that. I won’t risk it.

“Edwin?” Odi prompts. “What if she did feel the same way?”

If…then the answer is simple. “If I thought she might feel the same way, it would be more reason not to tell her. Why start something that I might not return to continue?”

Odi nods slowly. “In that case I shall submit your application and—” He breaks off and cants his head again, but this time as if he’s listening to something. “Ah, it looks like we have some books.”

He taps on his screen. “For you, Edwin. Books on ancient deities.”

Perfect. At least I can help Orina with finding information on Loviator while I wait for my application to be processed.

A slot opens in the wall behind Odi, and he reaches back, somehow bridging the distance with his arm to retrieve my books, and even though my mind tells me he shouldn’t be able to reach that far, my brain accepts it, and the next moment, the books are in front of me.

“An evening of research for the team, then?” Odi says.

“No. Just for me. The team has enough to deal with. I’ll loop them in once I’ve gathered all the information.”

“I suppose it’s time for you to leave now.”

I drain my cup and set it on the counter, and his face falls. But I smile. “Not just yet. I have time for another cup of tea.”