4. Raegan

Chapter four

Raegan

They’ll never know . Famous last words.

The loud and angry swish of blinds being yanked up followed by harsh sunlight instantly wakes me up.

“Get up.” Aiden’s voice is low and dangerous, like he’s trying to keep this quiet, but I have zero intention of listening to him when I feel like I’ve just fallen asleep. I turn over to put my back to the window and then tug the blankets over my head. “Not only did you free Dane, but both of you left the safe house last night. You need to explain what you were thinking. Now.”

My eyes remain sealed shut and I try to find the thread of sleep that still lingers in my mind. If I can find it and tug on it, I’m sure I’ll be able to fall back asleep. I may have taken a nap yesterday, but it wasn’t nearly enough.

“Answer me. They could have killed you. Dane could have been taken. We don’t just run around doing whatever we please here.”

When I still don’t answer him, though I’m loathe to admit his words are keeping me from being able to return to sleep, he snatches the blankets and sheets and rips them off of me. “Get—”

My body curls in on itself on instinct from the bite of cold that’s only there because I’d been so insulated beneath the covers. I realize then that he’d stopped talking and slowly peek one eye open over my shoulder. He’s staring at me with an odd expression. Then he blinks, and it hardens.

“Is that my shirt?” he asks coolly.

I reach down and snag the sheet to cover myself with while he’s distracted. “Sure is.” He looks annoyed by that and I pick up a pillow to chuck at him. “Someone didn’t let me go back to my apartment. So, rather than sleep in my dirty, bloody clothes, or naked , yes, I took your shirt. Next time, I’ll keep them on if you’re so upset about it. And thank fuck I didn’t sleep naked since you have absolutely no regard for personal boundaries.”

His deep chocolate eyes narrow at me. “It’s my room.”

“That I was told to sleep in. But if you’re going to make this a habit, I’ll sleep in Kell’s or Jack’s room instead. Or the armory.” Actually, that last one isn’t a bad idea.

“You’ll do no such thing.” He throws my clothes from last night at me. “Here. It’s called a washing machine. Now get dressed so we can chat about what happened.”

My teeth click together as the rage at this man burns me up inside. I throw the sheet back and stand, angrily pulling on my pants while glaring at him the entire time. He doesn’t break eye contact with me. Maybe he thinks this is some sort of power play, but he holds my glare until I get to my shirt. As soon as I flip it up and over my head, he turns away from me and mutters something. Before he can continue his tirade about last night, I try to shut it down first. “What happened last night is none of your business. Dane is still here, right? And we’re both in one piece. So, no thank you, I will not take a scolding before breakfast and coffee.” I check the clock on the nightstand and see that it’s just past eleven. So…maybe five hours of sleep? It’s better than nothing, but I’m definitely grumpy.

Coffee then.

I open the door to leave the room and this conversation behind, but Aiden stalks after me. “What if he wasn’t? What if he left while you were sleeping? Just because something didn’t happen, doesn’t mean that it couldn’t have. You can’t go running out in the middle of the night, putting all of us in more danger because you don’t know how to play well with others.”

“Back off.”

I startle and see Dane scrubbing his eyes from the couch. Either he just so happened to wake up, or our fight has done it. I’m going to guess it’s the latter by the annoyed look on his face. What’s the most shocking thing is that he’s aiming that ire at Aiden instead of me .

Aiden is just as surprised when he looks at him.

“Leave her alone. I made her do it. If you’re going to bitch anyone out, it should be me. But save it for after I’ve had at least eight hours of sleep or I might punch you.”

Aiden looks at me, and I shrug. As much as I’d love to believe he’s doing this for me, I know he’s just trying to keep Aiden off our backs so that I’ll keep helping him with Vera. I walk into the kitchen and start preparing the coffee pot.

Someone comes in after me. I’m expecting it to be Aiden, who might try to whisper his threats to me instead, but when I look up, I see him sitting at the dining table on his phone. Dane is rifling through the refrigerator and pulls out eggs, cheese, and bacon. He doesn’t say anything to me, just starts up the stove and makes breakfast.

I think I’d take his jabs right now over the quiet because I don’t know how I should act or feel when he isn’t saying anything to me. He’s harder to be angry with or avoid when he’s not giving me his recent poison.

I chew on my lip and stare at the slow drip of the coffee that now feels like it’ll take forever to brew. I prefer this machine over the individual cup type Elias has in his apartments, but now I can see the benefit of the speed in getting a single cup.

Kellan emerges from his room and spots the empty living room where Dane is expected to be. He sees us in the kitchen and Aiden at the dining table and shrugs without comment. “Morning, team,” he teases with a grin.

He sidles up next to me and peers into the slow but steadily filling coffee pot. “You sleep okay in Aiden’s stuffy room?”

I break out into a smile. “I’d have slept better if he hadn’t come in unannounced to wake me up.”

Kellan clicks his tongue. “Rude,” he says loud enough for Aiden to hear him while smirking at him. “You can stay in my room tonight. I can take the couch, since Dane no longer seems to be occupying it.”

“She’s not staying in any of our rooms tonight,” Aiden says, though his eyes haven’t left the screen of his phone. I have no idea what he’s doing or why he’s on it so much, but I’ve never been attached to a phone before. Maybe you need people on the other end of it to hold your interest. Or maybe he’s a solitaire nerd. No, definitely sudoku.

“Oh?” Kellan’s eyebrows raise, but there’s an undercurrent of something sharp and dangerous there. “And why is that?”

I decide not to get involved because getting kicked out is what I originally wanted, anyway. Being with them in such close quarters is…well, it’s bringing up old memories and feelings I’d rather not have that could distract me from my goals. Getting back to my apartment and having my own space and plans will be a welcome relief from…whatever this is.

Dane doesn’t say a word, but I can tell he’s listening intently to the conversation by the way he’s turned the heat down on the bacon and stopped mixing the eggs while he waits for Aiden’s reply.

Jackson pops out of his room at the end of the hall. His eyes stop on me for a beat and then he takes a seat at the table.

“Well, since you’re all here, we can go over our next steps. Now that we know Vera is working with GE, we’ll have to avoid and take better care of using technology.” That’s easier said than done. Everything runs on technology nowadays. Locks. Starting cars. Security systems. “Which means the Guild members can’t return to the Tower today like I’d hoped. The entire building runs on technology for all its security. Since GE knows about the Guild and the Tower, then Vera does, too. We’ll need to shore up the stores and supplies at the Guild’s current location and make sure any outside access to their utilities is protected.”

“How will that stop her?” I ask, genuinely curious.

Dane pours the eggs into the pan in a loud sizzle. “She has to either touch something with electricity to control it, or if it’s connected to the internet, she has to know where to look to hack it. As long as she doesn’t know where the Guild is hiding and we don’t go poking at GE from their network, they’re safe from her.”

Now that he’s said it, I remember her always having her hand on something before it’ll do what she wants it to. Good to know we don’t have to dump technology completely.

“Okay. And what about that other guy Jack mentioned last night? Who is he to you guys, and how did you piss him off?”

“Why would you assume we did anything?” Aiden challenges back.

I cross my arms with a huff, ready to argue, but Jackson cuts in.

“Thorne created the Guild.”

Wait. What? “So, he doesn’t work for GE?”

Jackson smiles and shrugs.

Kellan leans over his forearms on the counter between the kitchen and dining room table. “He didn’t back then. Thorne was more of a competitor to GE, though he worked with them at times.”

“He’s working with them again, if he’s not actually under them,” Aiden remarks. “He knows where the Guild is and then lured Jackson away before GE attacked. That’s no coincidence.”

“Wait, go back. Did you kill him to get the Guild? And now he’s back for revenge?”

Aiden frowns at my assumption. “We didn’t kill him for the Guild. We killed him because Jack found out that Thorne was using the members to get him more power. The Guild itself was a sham. He made it look like he was helping them, but he was setting up jobs that only benefited him. Jack tracked us down and got our help in taking him out.”

“And are you sure you killed him?”

Kell taps his finger below his left eye. “Jackson drove a knife through his eye and into his brain. He was lights out.”

“How, if he’s so strong?”

“By working together and having a plan,” Aiden answers. “Which we’ll do again.”

“We’re not going to be able to surprise him again like last time,” Dane chimes in. “We only won against him because he didn’t know Jack had turned on him and called us. He didn’t know about my gift being able to block his.”

Aiden nods. “Which is why we’ll be coming up with a new plan. But after we’ve moved to a new location.”

I’m still hung up on the Guild part. “Why take over the Guild after he died? You could have just told everyone the truth and left it alone.”

Kellan chuckles. “The Guild still existed without Thorne. Either someone needed to dismantle it or run it. And the first option meant a lot of displaced gifted people with nowhere to go. Aiden stepped up and turned it around. He changed it into what it was always supposed to be, or at least what it had been promised to be from the beginning. A safe haven for people like us.”

My eyes connect with Aiden’s. Why? Why would he do that now? He’d never cared about anyone outside of our group on the island. When talking about escape attempts or life after the island, it always focused on us. Even when they got off the island, it was a boat with them on it. I don’t remember seeing anyone else there.

The scraping of eggs onto plates is all that fills the silence while I struggle to accept what Kell just said.

It bothers me. A lot. And I can’t pin down why it’s striking such a melancholy chord in me.

Aiden continues his original statement of the next steps. “I’ll be going to the Guild to let them know of their extended stay and to help with the security plan. Jack.” He turns to him. “We’ll be moving to Plan C. Make sure it’s ready and secure before we get there.” Jackson nods.

“The rest of you, pack up only what you need and any weapons. Stop by Raegan’s apartment and she can grab her things. Then meet up at Old Red tonight. We’ll be staying there until further notice.”

Everyone nods, and I feel like a complete outsider in that moment. “Uh, Old Red?”

Kellan snickers and leans down to whisper in my ear, “I hope you like firefighters.”

Eating breakfast at a table with the four men I’d grown up with is…weird. No one talks after Aiden announces their next steps. I’m expecting questions or more details on the plan. Maybe even idle chitchat between them. But it’s quiet, aside from the scraping of cutlery on the plates and the sound of eating and drinking.

Jackson scarfs down his plate first and excuses himself for the task Aiden had assigned him. I’d honestly been surprised he was up today after what Cassandra had said. He looks tired, but he isn’t acting like it at all when he gets right back to work.

Aiden finishes after him, though he at least takes the time to chew his food. He’s the next to leave until it’s just me, Kellan, and Dane. Kellan’s been sending me smirks throughout the meal. I think he’s been finding entertainment in my uneasiness during this whole thing. I almost jab him with my fork in my lingering grumpiness, but I stand up instead and bring my dishes to the sink. Dane’s already there rinsing his and the others’, so he takes my plate without a word and adds it to the pile.

“Uh, thanks.”

He nods at me. I decide not to push my luck by trying to say anything else to him and stalk down the hall to Aiden’s room. I can tell this safe house was built by them specifically for them. They each have their own full bathrooms attached to their bedrooms, but there isn’t a common one with a shower. Which means I’ll have to use one of theirs.

Since Aiden offered his room to me for sleeping, I assume his shower is the one I’ll use. I had yesterday, and he didn’t say anything, so I’ll take that as implicit approval.

I close both the doors behind me and then start the shower. My boots and pants are off and I’m midway through my top when I hear the door click open. I drop my arms on instinct to cover myself. My top is bunched up over my breasts, but not really hiding much more than that.

Kellan’s leaning back against the bathroom door with his arms folded, legs crossed at the ankles, and a wicked smirk, as if he’s settled in to watch.

“What are you doing?” The shower is hopefully loud enough to block our voices if Dane is in the living room. What would he think if he saw Kellan in here with me?

“You keep running away from me, so I needed to catch you with your pants down so we could talk.” Literally, apparently.

“And you couldn’t wait for me to be done in Aiden’s room after?”

“Nope. You’d run. Now, you can’t leave unless you’re showered and dressed, or else Dane will ask questions.” His devilish grin widens.

I sigh and yank my shirt down. I’m no prude when it comes to my body and it shouldn’t matter since we’ve already fucked. But that was before he tried to make this about more than sex. Before he tried to make things personal…intimate.

I’ve long accepted and enjoyed sex for its physical benefits and pleasures, but there was never anything more to it than that. I’d share my body, but the rest? It belongs to me.

“Fine. What do you want?”

He pushes off the door and prowls toward me. I back up immediately, stopping only once I reach the edge of the shower. It’s one of those open doorway walk-in showers, with a split wall of glass and then stone around the rest of it. When I look back at him, he’s right in front of me .

“I’m sorry,” he starts. All playfulness drops as his blue-green eyes look into mine in earnest. “I should have known there was more to it. I knew you cared about all of us. I was blinded by my own selfish feelings that I couldn’t see anything past them. Now that I know the truth, that you never betrayed us and it was us, I’m going to make it up to you.”

The air between us is thick and hot. I blame the steam of the shower filling the bathroom, but I can’t deny the thundering of my heart or the way the oxygen seems to have been replaced by steam and heat. His lips hover mere inches above mine, but he doesn’t touch me.

“How?” That’s all I manage while keeping my hands to myself.

His eyes drop to my lips and then back up. “I’m going to start by earning your trust back. I will win your heart if it’s the last thing I do in this life. You’re mine, and I won’t ever let you go again.”

My heart stutters in my chest and my breathing shallows. “Kell, I told you, I can’t—”

“I know.” He smirks and drops his lips to the skin below my ear. His breath is even hotter than the air around us and feathers across my sensitive flesh. “Just enjoy my efforts for now and worry about the details later. What it means to be mine is different than what you may think.”

He sucks on that spot, and pleasure zaps through me. Then he moves back and turns to leave. I grab his wrist without thinking. He looks at me, his eyebrow raised in question while a tiny smirk perches on the corner of his lips.

“Shut your face and kiss me. ”

Kellan chuckles and lowers his face to mine. My lips part with expectation, but he stops short. His large hand skates up my thigh and fingers the lace panties I still have on. “Whatever my girl wants, she gets.”

Jury is still out on how much of what he’s saying I believe, but the cynical side of me is tired right now. I can worry about that later. As soon as our mouths seal together, like two halves of a whole finally being joined, the realist in me goes to sleep.

We’ve kissed a few times now, but this time is different.

I can’t put my finger on what it is about it that just feels more…real. Like Kellan’s baring his soul to me in this kiss. I can taste his feelings and his regret over the past. I can taste his resolve to give me everything he’s promised.

His fingers tease the wetness between my folds and then push into me. I groan without thinking, and he slaps a hand over my mouth. “Shh…” He laughs softly into my ear. “Unless you were hoping to piss Dane off more than he is already.”

“Fuck,” I mutter as he runs his tongue down the side of my neck while pumping his fingers in and out of me. His beard tickles and teases my skin, and I shiver at the sensation. “You might have to gag me,” I confess breathily, and he chuckles against my collarbone where he’d pulled my shirt aside.

“Get in the shower,” he orders huskily. He’s already working his clothes off and kicking them to the side. I hurry to follow suit, but there’s nothing sexy or smooth about me when I struggle to get my shirt off in a rush.

Kellan pauses when he sees me, eyeing me hungrily, like he’s planning out how he’s going to taste every inch of me.

“We need to make this quick,” I remind him. The shower’s already been on for a while. I walk into the water, and when he doesn’t immediately follow, I look over my shoulder to find him appreciating my backside, too. “Kell!”

“Don’t rush me, beautiful. I’ve been waiting seven years for this moment. You were already perfect, but I didn’t realize how high that bar could go until now.”

My scarred self-esteem can’t handle that level of compliment, so I let it roll off my back instead of sinking in. “Get in here and fuck me, or I’ll take care of myself.”

I duck under the spray and let the hot water soak into my skin. I can feel Kellan’s presence behind me, like a looming beast approaching its prey. He holds me still between one hand on my hip and his teeth at my shoulder while his other hand roams along my curves to follow the trail of water.

His fingers slide back inside me, stoking the embers he’d started earlier into flames. My head falls back on his chest as I gasp for air. He works my body like he’s an expert already. In ways that others I’ve been with have never come close to.

“How many other women?” I gasp.

He groans in my ear and his solid length rubs against my back. “Right now?”

It doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t. Not when I don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to this. But I can’t help the nagging need to know how many others got to have this before me. Because none of my past conquests have been like him .

“Yes. Tell me.”

Kellan grunts and then his fingers that were inside of me shove into my mouth, and they push my body back against the cool, stone wall. “We have to be quick, remember? Questions later. Right now, I want to see your tits bounce while you ride me like the animal I am. Now, be a good girl and suck my fingers clean or I’ll give your mouth another job to do to keep it busy.”

Holy shit.

I seal my lips around his fingers to do as he instructed, and he closes his eyes and moans.

“Fuck, you do that so well, beautiful. I can’t wait to feel your mouth on my dick.” He pulls me back with him until he sits on the built-in bench. I straddle him without needing further direction. Kellan lines himself up with my entrance and then holds it there by the base of his shaft.

His teeth clench, and I can see his muscles tense from holding back. I see what this is now. He’s sealing his promise to me by giving me all the control in taking what I want from him.

I sink the barest amount onto him, and my mouth pops open with pleasure. His jaw tightens further, but he doesn’t push himself in or move as I take my time. I can tell it’s torturous for him, as it is for me too, but in the best way. I use my knees to help me adjust, and then I take him all the way in with a garbled moan.

Then I start to move. I grip his shoulders for balance as I bounce up and down, up and down, releasing harsh pants and soft gasps when it hits just right. I roll my hips on the downbeat, feeling him hit that spot again and again until I can feel my muscles tightening .

Kellan sucks on his thumb and then begins slow circles over my clit. I grab a fistful of his long, wet locks and move in a frenzy, chasing after the bliss that’s waiting just around the corner. My breasts bounce and water falls down my curves onto Kell. “So fucking pretty,” he grits out as he watches me like he’s ravenous for what he sees.

The orgasm bursts through me in a rush, claiming every fiber of my being. I’m weightless for that moment, suspended in time, in life, in every worry that I’ve ever had, as I forget who I am. A scream claws up my throat, but Kellan’s hand is there to block it before I can alert the entire block of what we’re doing.

Somewhere in that blackout of time, Kellan lifts and pins me against the shower wall, and takes over. His hips piston back and forth as he drives into me until he shudders and thrusts home one last time. I deflate around him, leaning my head and arms over his tattooed back and shoulders while we both take a minute to catch our breaths.

I needed that.

The water temperature drops from hot to warm in a noticeable dip. “Fuck. How long have we been in here?” I bite my lips to withhold any more noises while carefully extracting myself from his big dick and then find my feet under me.

Kellan reaches over my head for the soaps and starts spreading it over his body. “Long enough that he’s probably noticed we’re both missing.”

Shit. Hopefully, he got distracted by packing or something else. I’d say the television or a video game, but that clearly isn’t an option right now. We both finish washing before the temperature drops any further, then towel off and dress.

“You sneak out first and try to get back to your room without him seeing you,” I whisper to Kell, and he gives me a look that says we’re already too late to hide this, but sure. At least he humors me and does what I ask. I wait to hear his door close and then walk out, feigning nonchalance.

Dane’s door is closed, and I breathe a sigh of relief. When my eyes pass over the living room, I freeze. Dane stomps by on his way to his room with a sneer. “Of course, you’re fucking. Keep that shit to yourselves. I don’t want to hear it. These walls aren’t soundproof. And Kellan,” he shouts from his door at Kell’s, “I didn’t realize murderer was your type.” His door slams closed.

There goes any afterglow.