Chapter 14

Fourteen

JANE

Somehow, I survived.

Maybe Dash was right. Cal wants me. Or is at least possessive enough to not want me touching anyone else. He most definitely watched me with Larry. As soon as I got home from our date, I vomited twice, then bathed for a long time just thinking about it.

But, I guess this means no more dates with other guys.

Thank God.

Now, I can focus on my primary mission. The problem is, Cal can and will kill me when he finds out about it. He likely has no idea. It’s the only way I’m still alive. Deep, burning desire to confess everything spins in my guts. My people will end me if I don’t succeed with the plan. I’m trapped.

Damnation. Was I only raised to die? Like some useless sacrifice?

And it would all be for nothing unless I can just convince him, get him to understand my feelings… There may be a way out.

Communication with my team is too dangerous now, so I have to use any resource available. Wandering through my apartment, I snag my phone and text my friend.

Me

Hey! Wanna meet for coffee? I just met a new guy and have to tell you all about him!

Sherry

Good for you, Jane! Sure. When and where?

Me

How about an hour where u r?

Sherry

That sounds great! See you at Joe’s!

Going through my routine, I slide on a pair of jeans and a sweater, though it’s getting warmer outside. After forgetting my phone on the dresser, I head out to my car, then all the way into Drussville. It’s about an hour away. But the entire time, I listen to Beethoven, switch it to some rock station, then back to Bach. Classical Cal, right?

I step toward the little coffee shop along Main Street, hiking my purse up higher on my shoulder. Local advertisements cover the glass front window, offering a one-way view from the inside out. Entering the cozy shop, my boots creak on the hardwood as I find our little booth in the back corner. The seat puffs out a dying breath of air when I plop onto it.

Dot nods at Callie, the owner, who wipes some cups and meanders to the front door to lock it. The place is empty, except for us now.

“Jane, so good to see you. It’s been too long. Maybe not long enough, though.”

Taking a deep inhale, I try to avoid the sneer of her upper lip. It’s slight, but there. She cleanses her facial expression with a wave of her fingers through her short, silver bob, then takes a sip of coffee. Callie approaches us, tying her apron.

“Hey, Jane. Want anything?”

“Yeah, I’ll take a…” Glancing at the chalkboard menus and all the choices, my throat closes up. Swallowing against a giant lump, I glance up at her helplessly.

“Want me to pick again?”

Nodding quickly, I drop my gaze to the table.

“No problem. I’ll make something sweet for you.”

Both Dot and I watch her walk away before Dot glares at me with her gray eyes. “Tell me about this boy.”

“He’s, um. He’s very into me. I think things are progressing quickly. But, uh. I’m not sure I want them to.”

Popping her jaw muscle, she takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out through her nose. “And why is that? If everything is going so well…why would you give that up, Jane?”

“Well—” I stop short as Callie places a large cup with caramel-colored liquid and a heart made of foam in front of me. The sight turns my stomach. “Thank you,” I say politely and take a sip. It’s too sweet, and I probably don’t need the sugar. Not when I’m about to lose my mind.

“Well? Tell me,” Dot presses, sitting back in her chair. Her tailored business suit is a nice touch to the backstory of us meeting while I was volunteering at the Gnarled Pine juvenile detention center. Really, it’s where they go to look up potentials.

“I think he would find out that I’m… I’m not as nice or funny as I seem. There’re bad habits I have he wouldn’t like. So if he learned about them, then that would be it for me, us.”

She clears her throat. “I see. Well, Jane, I will tell you that this happens in every relationship, much like every single one you’ve ever been in, right? This is no different from that.”

Yes, there is danger in every mission. But this is my life’s mission. One they put me into for the last fourteen years. Even if I confess what is happening, no one will believe me. “I have feelings for him, and I don’t want to hurt him that way. I don’t want him to love me and then find out things about me he doesn’t like.” Dropping my voice, I whisper, “Besides, I’m a nobody, and he could never really be with someone like me.”

Clucking her tongue, Dot rolls her eyes. “We’re not talking about marriage and families here. Didn’t you just meet him? Have fun… Spend the night and get to know him first. Then, proceed with what needs to happen. Or else.”

Not even bothering with a goodbye, I stand and head back to my car. All the way home, the words echo in my mind. “Or else…”

If I could just get him alone without anything between us. With no one watching us. I could tell him the full truth and then maybe he’d know how I felt. Maybe there’s a chance.

Tears flood my cheeks. Dot would hit me if she saw me doing something so human as crying, but there it is. No stopping it. Genuine saltwater splashing out of my eyeballs. Or else. That’s it for me. It’s over for my plan. My dreams, hopes, and goals dashed. Maybe I was just born to die.

I can’t tell him, but I want to, desperately. If he’d only believe me, but…

Nothing true survives.