Chapter 18

The castle was in disarray when they returned, Domnhall’s council and his soldiers rushing around to make sure they reinforced their defenses as best they could. Billie jumped off the horse and helped Domnhall do the same, as she had noticed how unsteady he was while they rode.

There was a gash on the side of his head that pointed to a hard blow to his skull, and Billie couldn’t help but fear it was serious. Blood had coated the left side of his face, and though the bleeding had stopped, there was no telling what damage it could have done to his head.

Then there was the fear of her father, Cormac and Hugo getting hurt or even killed. It gnawed at her like a beast, and even as she helped Domnhall inside the castle, Billie looked over her shoulder time after time to see if maybe the three of them were there, alive and well.

By the time she walked Domnhall through the doors, they hadn’t yet appeared.

Two servants came to help Billie carry Domnhall to his chambers, but Billie dismissed one, asking him to call Elsea. Once they were in Domnhall’s chambers, she helped lay him down onto the bed, her brow furrowed with concern.

“Are ye nauseous?” she asked, pressing a soothing hand on his forehead.

Domnhall looked up at her with a small smile, one that was perhaps meant to be reassuring but only served to worry Billie more. If he was trying to reassure her, then it meant there was indeed something to worry about.

“I’m fine,” Domnhall said. “I only need tae rest. Dinnae fash.”

It was easier said than done. With no supplies, Billie could do nothing but wait for Elsea and the maids who would bring the hot water and cloths.

She paced back and forth in the room as she waited, restless, her heart thundering in her chest. She could tell Domnhall was watching her, but he said nothing. The minutes stretched into an eternity, and by the time the door opened and Elsea came in, carrying her supplies with her, Billie had almost managed to work herself into a panic.

“Elsea… good,” Domnhall said, as he pushed himself up to his elbows. “Billie needs ye.”

Billie frowned in confusion. “I dinnae need ye. I’m fine. Domnhall needs ye. He was struck on the head an’ now he has trouble?—”

“Billie needs ye first,” Domnhall interrupted. “I am fine. I can wait.”

Looking between the two of them, Elsea let out a heavy sigh. “Me laird, I believe ye’re in more need o’ assistance.”

“I’m fine,” Domnhall insisted. “Please… Billie first.”

“Enough,” Billie said, turning to look at him with barely restrained impatience.

Elsea gave them both an amused smile. “If he can talk, he is fine,” she told Billie. “An’ I believe it will be quicker if ye allow me tae tend tae ye first, Billie. It willnae take long, I promise.”

Reluctantly and with a final, fed-up look at Domnhall, Billie let Elsea examine the rope burns on her wrists and ankles. Elsea had been right, though; it didn’t take her long at all to put some salve on the marks and make sure the few scrapes she had were clean and dressed. Just as she had suspected, the damage to herself was minimal.

While she examined Billie, maids poured into the room, bringing everything else they needed. The moment she was done, Billie steered her towards Domnhall, who still lay in bed, now with his eyes closed.

“I will give ye somethin’ fer the pain,” Elsea told him. “But ye should recover soon. I will come tae see ye throughout the night, but if ye begin tae feel nauseous, ye must call me immediately.”

“Aye, aye,” Domnhall said, waving a hand dismissively. Billie would make sure to spend the night next to his bed, though. If he wasn’t going to take care of himself, she was going to do it for him.

Elsea talked Billie through the tasks, first cleaning the wound, applying the balms, and dressing it. Then, she told her of the symptoms Domnhall could show, so that she would know when to call her, and Billie made sure to listen carefully, keeping everything catalogued into her mind.

Once she was done, Elsea wiped her hands on her apron, smiling kindly at Billie. “I should go tend tae the others,” she said.

“The others?” Billie asked. She had been sitting by Domnhall’s side, but now she stood, her stomach twisting itself into knots. “They’re back.”

“Och aye,” said Elsea, as she put her hands on Billie’s shoulders and made her sit once more. “Dinnae fash. They are all fine. Naething but a few scrapes an’ bruises.”

Billie let out a sigh of relief, one which was echoed by Domnhall. At least everyone was safe, even if Ferguson’s threat still loomed on the horizon.

“Ye must rest, too,” Elsea continued. “Ye’ve been through much an’ ye need the rest.”

Billie doubted she could get much sleep that night, but she didn’t want to tell Elsea that. “Thank ye,” she said instead. “I will come see me faither an’ Cormac an’ Hugo soon. Will ye tell me if they’re… if they’re nae all right?”

“They’re all right,” Elsea promised. “If they needed me, I wouldnae be here. Ye’ll see fer yerself soon.”

As she left, Billie dismissed the maids, too. She wanted to be alone with Domnhall, and it seemed to her that the best thing for him in that moment was some peace and quiet. Once everyone was gone, she perched herself on the edge of the mattress once more, next to him, taking his hand in hers.

“Billie, until this is all over, ye cannae be on yer own,” Domnhall said. “Promise me ye willnae stray from the guards. If ye wish tae go somewhere, make sure tae have at least three o’ them with ye, but…. but I think ye should stay in the castle.”

“Fer how long?” Billie asked. “I cannae simply stay here, Domnhall. Besides, I was within castle walls when they took me.”

“Aye, but this willnae happen again,” he promised her. “I’ll make sure the castle is safe.”

As good as it sounded in theory, Billie knew every castle had its weaknesses. Even if its walls were impregnable, Ferguson could still find some guards who were willing to accept a bribe. Surely, not everyone could be so loyal to Domnhall that they wouldn’t fold for the right price. Besides, Domnhall had been gone for a long time. Perhaps some of the soldiers were already loyal to someone else—to Ferguson.

“Domnhall… why is this happenin’ at all?” Billie asked. “Why does Ferguson wish tae take over the clan?”

Domnhall sighed, heavy and weary. The hand that wasn’t holding Billie’s came up to run through his hair, frowning when he found it tangled from the battle.

“He feels he has a claim tae it,” he said. “Ferguson was supposed tae marry me maither. He was her betrothed, but me faither forced her tae marry him an’ I dinnae think Ferguson ever forgot that. An’ then me faither would drink too much an’ he… he was a violent man. They never loved each other. He hurt me maither an’ I kent the only way tae keep her safe was tae leave, so we fled tae France.”

“So, this is revenge?”

“In part, I think,” Domnhall said. “But there is another thing.”

Billie waited patiently for Domnhall to continue his tale. For a few moments, his gaze was distant, pointed to the ceiling above their heads as if he was trying to gather his strength.

“When me maither was dyin’, she… she told me I may be a bastard.”

“Aye,” Billie said. “Ye told me so.”

She thought back to that night at the inn, remembering how tortured Domnhall had sounded at the possibility of being someone else’s son. Though he seemed to hold no love for his father—the man who raised him—not knowing for certain if he was his child must have been a great shock to him, she thought.

“Aye,” he said. “Well… she told me me faither might be Blaine Ferguson.”

Billie’s mouth fell open at the revelation. She was speechless, finding no comforting words for Domnhall no matter how much her brain scrabbled for something to say.

Domnhall, though, saw the humor in it and chuckled. “It’s very odd, is it nae? I’ve been thinkin’ about it ever since I found out. I keep wonderin’ if maybe Ferguson is right. Maybe he has more claim tae the clan than I dae.”

“But then the clan… John McAuley married intae it, did he nae?” Billie asked, remembering everything she had learned about the MacAuley Clan through her father. “Ye have a claim tae it through yer maither. Fiadh. She was the real MacAuley.”

Domnhall laughed softly, nodding. “This is what Hugo said as well when I told him. He said I shouldnae concern meself with such details an’ tae forget what me maither told me.”

“He’s right,” Billie said. “Besides, nay matter what she told ye an’ nay matter what the truth is, Ferguson didnae wed her. He has nay claim tae the clan at all.”

“But I wasnae here, Billie.” Domnhall shook his head, and Billie had never seen him so tortured before, his features twisted into a mask of agony. “I left. I fled tae France an’ left everyone here tae deal with me faither at his worst. What claim dae I have tae this clan I abandoned?”

It was difficult to argue with that, and Billie knew many would use it against Domnhall. But what other choice did he have but to leave? “Ye did everythin’ ye could tae save yerself an’ yer maither. An’ the people called ye back home tae take the lead. They believe in ye. They want ye as their leader.”

“I’m sure some o’ them have a different opinion.”

“Some,” Billie said. “But nae all. Nae even most.”

It was only then that Domnhall looked at her, their gazes finally meeting. He had a small frown on his face, his brow furrowed in thought as he considered Billie’s words.

“I suppose ye’re right,” he said. “I only worry I willnae ken who is against me until it’s far too late. Ye’ve been in danger the entire time ye’ve been in this castle. What will I dae if somethin’ happens tae ye? It’ll all be because o’ me.”

It was strange, seeing Domnhall so agitated at the thought that something would happen to Billie. Up until a few days prior, she would have thought he would be glad to be rid of her, though even she had to admit that death sounded like an extreme measure to achieve it and one he probably wouldn’t condone.

But now his hand was clasped tightly around hers as if he feared something would happen to her the moment he let go. How could everything have changed so quickly between them? How could Billie feel such pain at seeing him hurt and agitated, when only a few days ago she was doing her best to antagonize him?

“Naething will happen tae me,” Billie said. “Like ye said, ye’re makin’ sure nae one can enter the castle walls. I will simply… remain here fer as long as I can.”

That seemed to reassure Domnhall a little, though it was a promise Billie didn’t know if she could keep. There was only that much she could do in a castle, and she feared she would go crazy if she wasn’t allowed to go anywhere or have a moment to herself. But if it meant Domnhall wouldn’t worry about her, then she was willing to try.

He had so many other things to worry about.

“Sleep,” she told him, giving his hand one last squeeze before she let go of him and stood. “I will go see the others an’ then I’ll come back. I willnae be gone long.”

Domnhall nodded and closed his eyes. He looked exhausted, in a way Billie hadn’t noticed before. His skin was pale, his cheeks gaunt, the dark circles under his eyes pronounced. For the first time, she could see the toll this enmity had taken on him.

He didn’t seem to understand he, too, needed care, but Billie was prepared to take on the task whether he wanted it or not.