Chapter 4

I'm not dead.

I don't believe it. I'm probably in the hospital, pumped full of drugs. But even as I tell myself that, my gaze returns to the body on the altar. My body.

And then a voice reaches me. And my heart, the one Zoey claims is dead, skips a beat.

"Kell? What was so mysterious that we had to meet here?"

Oh fuck.

"We have to stop him." I spin and grab Zoey's arm.

She gives me a sad smile. "We can't."

"Kellan?" Eli calls my name again.

"Fuck. Don't come in here."

He doesn't acknowledge me.

"Kellan, stop fucking around."

I move to intercept him and he stops a foot away from me. "Really?"

For a brief moment, hope fills me. "Yes, really. Turn around. Go back to the dorm."

"What did you find? Something else of Zoey's?"

"No, not something of Zoey's. She's here with me."

He sighs. "Enough with the dramatics, just fucking …"

"He can't hear you, Kell." Zoey's voice is soft behind me.

"He's replying to me. Of course he can hear me!"

She shakes her head.

"Is someone else here?" I gasp when Eli walks right through me. "Kellan, who else is here? … Kell?"

I dart back in front of him. "No. No, don't fucking look. Turn around, Eli. Don't fucking look."

My best friend frowns in my direction, then turns to walk toward the pulpit.

"Miles? What the fuck?"

Zoey grabs my arm. "Come away. We shouldn't be here right now. There's nothing we can do."

"He's going to kill Eli."

She shakes her head. "We don't know that."

I pull free. "Did you know he was going to kill me? Did you let it happen?"

"No! I tried to warn you. I tried, Kellan!" Tears spill down her cheeks. "I've been watching over you both all year. I thought when Arabella found my diary, that there might be a way to reach you … but …" She sniffs and wipes her eyes. "I missed you both so much."

"What did you do?" Eli's angry words reach me, and I turn toward him.

"You didn't protect your knight, Eli." Evan's words stab through me. "You should have protected your knight."

"What did you do?" There's fury in Eli's voice. Fury mixed with fear. He already knows what Evan did. I can see it in his eyes. But, like me, he doesn't want it to be true.

"Protect yourself. Don't keep your back to him." I shout, watching the scene play out before me.

Evan shoves Eli, who crashes into Miles. But his focus isn't on my boyfriend, it's on me. My body. He rises to his feet and crosses the floor, step by slow step until he's standing in front of my body.

"Kell?"

"Don't look down," I whisper. "Just leave, Eli. If you leave, we can pretend you didn't see this."

"Kell!" He shakes me, and it's a little disturbing the way my head rolls back and forth. "Kellan, fucking wake up." His hands hit my chest, and I feel the faintest pressure on my ribs. "Kellan, talk to me? Kell? Don't do this. Please don't do this." His head lowers, tears splashing against my face.

"Eli, please. Walk away." I reach out to my friend, squeezing my eyes closed when my hand passes through him.

"Please, Kellan. Please talk to me. Don't do this. Please don't do this. Wake up."

I shake off the hand that touches my arm and move to stand beside my friend. "I wish I could, Eli. I wish I could."