Chapter 14

I popin and out to visit Eli often after we discover the plan to open the school. Every time I visit, he talks to me, and no matter how much Zoey claims otherwise, I'm one hundred percent certain he's aware of my presence.

On one of my trips, the cabin is empty. That's not unusual. Eli often travels for art shows, and I've discovered that no matter how much I try to jump to wherever Eli is, if it's not the cabin then I fail. It seems I'm stuck at Churchill Bradley or the cabin and nowhere else. I think it's to do with the glass raven Eli has on the mantelpiece. My theory is that it's because the ornament has my ashes in it.

"Honey, I'm home."

I spin to face Eli as he comes through the door. He looks directly at me.

"Miss me?"

"You have no fucking idea how much."

But he's not talking to me. He's talking to the glass raven. "I should take you with me next time I travel, instead of leaving you here."

"Yes, you should. Being stuck in two locations is boring the fuck out of me. Take me with you. I like traveling."

"I brought some more of my shit back from the Hamptons. Found a couple of sketchbooks from when I was a kid. I'll show them to you once I'm unpacked. Speaking of … I better go get the cases out of the car."

I follow him, and stop in the doorway to watch while he unpacks. I know from experience if I step outside I'll be back at Churchill Bradley, and it takes energy to bring me back and … I'm not ready to leave just yet. It feels like it's been months since I last saw Eli, and I want to stick around for as long as I can. I pace the floor while Eli does whatever shit he does outside when he first comes back from a trip.

"Can you believe fucking Churchill Bradley is reopening. And they invited our entire senior year to attend some kind of reopening celebration event? Are they fucking insane?"

He sinks onto the couch, and rubs a hand down his face. He looks exhausted. Tipping his head back, he closes his eyes.

"Who in their right mind would want to go back to that place?"

I move closer. "Maybe you should go. What's the worst that could happen?"

I've discovered that when he's tired or he's feeling down, it's easier for me to reach him. And this time is no different.

"The worst is already happening. They're talking about reopening the fucking place."

"Is that such a bad idea? The school was ranked as one of the best educational institutions in the country." Plus, I'm there, and I'm confident that if Eli comes back to the school, I'll be better able to reach him and find a way to reverse this stupid fucking situation I'm in.

"And both of my friends were murdered there."

"It wasn't the school that did it."

"Shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear your logic about this."

I don't know whether it's his mood, or I'm just getting stronger, but I'm not dragged back to Churchill Bradley and I get to spend a couple of days with Eli. Sometimes I forget I don't have a body anymore, and try to touch things, turn on the radio, hand him paints or brushes, and it's only when my hand passes through things that it reminds me of our reality.

ButEli talks to me. Every. Single. Day.

And I've fucking missed that.

It also means I can bug him about the school reunion. Usually when he's sleeping, and his mind is more receptive to suggestions.

"Shut the fuck up." Eli's voice cuts through the silence of the room after I've spent an hour in his dreams listing the pros of why he should come back.

"Or what? You'll stop speaking to me?" I snort. "Never gonna happen."

"Seriously, I don't want to do this right now."

"You realize you're talking to yourself, don't you? I'm not really haunting the inside of your head." Sarcasm, thy name is Kellan.

"I'm aware."

"It's because you're out here alone. Did you notice how little you spoke to me when you were in New York? You didn't need me there." It's a guess that he doesn't speak to me when he's not here, mostly because he always asks if I've missed him when he returns.

"Please shut up."

"You should go to the reunion."

"I said no."

"You can change your mind. I bet Elena didn't throw the letter away. She probably picked it up after you left."

"I have no interest in going back there."

"Not even to see me?"

"You're not there."

If only that were true."Most of your memories of me are, though. Eli, it could be good to face it."

"Just let me sleep, Kell."