Chapter 32

Of all thequeens I'd met on this land, Rania may have been my favorite. Putting Laila aside, of course. Even though she had been a queen once, she was more of a friend than an authority figure in my eyes.

Rania just did not fuck around, and I respected it.

Since most of this attack was riding on the Witches, and I was the youngest of us all, she trusted me the least. Totally fair. I was skilled. I had worked hard to become that way. But I could admit that I was entirely out of my expertise here.

After assigning everyone sleeping quarters for the night, she pulled me aside to practice the spell she wanted to use. At first, she insisted that she only needed me. I politely reminded her that wasn't the case. I would be relying on the guys' power tomorrow, and I needed to practice with it now. Aside from that, they would be casting the spell alongside us. My guys also needed to practice. Luci wanted to guide us, as he'd sworn he would at the meeting.

Like I respected her strong will, she seemed to respect my forwardness. As she led me out the rear door of her castle, with all of my guys in tow, she murmured, "Very well, then."

Just as we made it outside into a clearing lined with pine trees, Luci suggested using that spell that he and I had worked on before we came here. Rania said, "We are Elves. We will not use Angel magic."

Luci insisted that it wasn't Angel magic, not really. Yes, he was part Angel. Yes, he had learned most of what he knew magically from a woman who grew up on Matriaza, the Angel world. But that didn't mean that the magic was bad, purely because it came from a broken place.

Rania's response? "I don't quite care where your magic came from. That's not the point, boy."

"And what is your point?" Luci asked in the same tone.

"That mine is better." She spun to face us for the first time and crossed her arms against her chest. "Elvan magic is stronger. We embrace the fact that women are better practitioners, while your people bastardize it."

Luci gritted his teeth. "I am not them. I would appreciate if you stopped making me out to be."

"I would appreciate if you could talk with your people and get them to stop killing mine."

"I have virtually nothing to do with the war here."

"Good. I won't have to kill you then."

Luci grunted in response.

I had never seen him so irritated, and it gave me more joy than it should have.

"Is that true?" Trailing after her as she drew closer to the woods, practically jogging to catch up to her, I said, "Elvan magic is stronger than the Witch magic I know?"

"You are from Earth, no?" She didn't turn to look at me, only continued ahead.

Keeping up with this woman was a workout. Winded, I said, "Yes. But I thought all magic was equal in strength. It has to do with what you put in and what you get out. The energy invested into the spell, and the energy you receive from it, are like basic laws of physics. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

"I'm assuming those are human phrases." Her breaths were even, despite practically sprinting into these woods. "But if I'm understanding you correctly, I can understand your thought process. It's wrong, but I understand it."

Ouch. "What's right then?"

"You Earth Witches…" Rania laughed. A humorless one, edged with anger. "You rely on magic through combinations. You mix this herb with that herb, you say this phrase or that, and something happens. We don't work that way."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"You wouldn't."

I waited a moment for her to say more, but she didn't.

On my right, a few feet ahead, Luci turned to look at me. He looked back at Rania, annoyance in his tone. "That's all you're going to tell her. You'll simply leave it there."

"I never asked for an apprentice." Cresting the forest's edge now, she still didn't so much as spare a glance over her shoulder. "I cannot spend hours explaining the intricacies of my work to you. Either of you."

"You don't need to explain anything to me." Luci's voice was like a blade dipped in poison. "My mother was Fae. I know exactly what you're referring to."

Since this was apparently a Fae topic that my silly little earthling brain couldn't fathom, I turned to Graham.

With a grimace and a shrug, he shook his head. Otherwise informing me that he also had no idea what we were talking about.

"I feel your power, boy. You are no Fae."

"My biological mother was a Witch. My other mother was Fae."

With that background information, I had expected—or perhaps hoped—that she would extend a bit of solidarity. Instead, she said, "If you understand us and our customs so deeply, then explain it to her. I don't have the time."

Which I had heard far too many times throughout my life. Especially my adult life. Gran had taught me everything she knew about the craft. Every question I had, she answered. But she was one person, and I had always needed a village.

That's why I was so thankful for Luci.

"Witches on Earth look at Witchcraft as science," Luci said, holding a tree branch back so that me and my guys could pass. When we had, he continued. "A bit like alchemy. You may even equate it to baking. If you are careful with your measurements, and you follow every step in the correct order as the instructions tell you to, you will get the results you want. The Fae do that as well."

"I am not Fae," Rania said, a few feet ahead now.

"There is some Fae in there somewhere, or your eyes wouldn't glow."

She swore in Elvan, I had to assume, and Luci responded by flipping her off. Also odd. I wasn't sure if I'd ever seen Luci that vulgar.

"The Fae, and the Elves,"—Luci increased his volume for that last bit—"are just as serious about the science to the craft. But they don't see it as only a science. It's also something they feel within them. Power from the Earth, from the sky, from the trees, from the water—from the universe itself. It lives within them, and they tap into it. They have a sort of innate connection with it. It's why they're seers and most of us aren't. We can be, if we work hard enough to connect to the world around us and the power it possesses, but most of the time, we don't. We think about our craft too analytically and not spiritually enough. That's why they think that they're stronger than us. They tap into the power of the universe itself."

I was fairly certain I understood most of what he'd said, but that last part irked me. "We all tap into the power of the universe itself when we practice."

"And that is your problem," Rania said, still not so much as turning to look at me. "We don't tapinto the power. It lives within us, and we embrace it with every breath we take. Once you learn that, the magic you'll possess will be greater than you could ever imagine."

Fun wasn'tthe word I expected to use for this, but it was the only one that came to mind.

Most of this trip had been spent on dragon back, squeezing in naps as we moved from one place to the other. The four of us––me and my guys—hadn't had the chance for much alone time. But now, until sundown, that was all we had time for.

Rania had drilled the spell we would be using into our minds. She made us repeat the Elvan words until our throats were sore. Graham was the only native speaker, and he mocked us every time we failed to roll our Rs. Then he coached us, patiently, as if we were children learning to speak for the first time.

We basically were. There were a few keywords that Graham used regularly, and I knew those well. Ezra was a British Vampire, so he'd heard both Scottish and Irish Gaelic many times throughout his life. Still, that hardly made it easier. Elvan may have sounded Scottish, but the similarities ended there. And it's not as if the spell involved a "mo stoirín" or "ye ken."

"The words we're saying are even older," Graham had explained. "This isn't the Elvan I grew up speaking."

With that established, even Graham needed help with a few syllables.

But I loved the challenge. Ezra did too. As always, Graham was just along for the ride. Warren had the hardest time with it, getting frustrated whenever he fucked up our chant.

He managed, though. We all did.

In actuality, the spell wasn't much different from any other perimeter spell. The words were. The ingredients were. But the ritual was about the same.

We laid five stones on the ground, each one related to a different element. A red jewel that I would call a ruby represented fire. A green one that I would consider emerald represented Earth. Topaz represented water. Amethyst represented air—strange, I never thought of wind as purple. Quartz represented spirit.

Rania had different names for each gem. They were all Elvan words, so I had no idea how to spell nor pronounce them clearly. It didn't matter; I was still learning to say the spell.

It would be both easier and more difficult to cast during the actual attack. Easier, because we would have more power behind us. We were only practicing with six people, and we planned on having ten tomorrow. But we'd also have to hold the spell while incredibly powerful people fought to destroy it.

Which is why Rania had us work all day. It had only taken an hour or two to perfect our pronunciation and form a cage within the crystals. Still, she worked us until she, too, was at her brink.

While we practiced, she watched me. She paid mind to the others as well, but primarily, she watched me. Periodically, she'd say, "And you don't feel it?"

Obviously, she was referencing the power of the universe that Elves tapped into instinctively.

Nay, embraced with every breath they took.

And… no. I didn't feel it.

I felt the power of the spell, but as soon as I was done casting, the feeling fled.

The way magic worked for me was simple. I called upon it, and the wave of power washed over me from my head to my toes. It filled every inch of me. I felt it in my fingers, my stomach, my legs. Every bit of me was electric with it.

Then I released, and it left.

I didn't want it to. I wanted to feel it the same way she did, with every breath she took.

When it was dark, Rania asked me one more time if I felt it. I said I didn't. With a sigh, she guided us back to the castle.

My legs were jello by that point. My eyes were so heavy, I wasn't sure how I was still awake. Somehow, despite my delirium, I made it to the castle with the others. Rania had a maid lead us to our room. It wasn't quite as extravagant as the one in Caeda's castle, but the bed was big enough for all four of us. We climbed in, cuddled up, and drifted fast to sleep.

Tomorrow would be big. It would be scary.

But I wasn't afraid.

I understood what we were doing, and it wasn't much different than what we had done to Jake. The big thing was that the stakes weren't so high. No one inside needed to be saved.

We would watch thousands die. That should've been a hard fact to accept, but considering what I had learned about these people, I had no trouble with it.

There was only one thought that kept me from sleeping.

My brother.

He wasn't here. He was far away from this, and he was safe. And I was happy about it. I was happy that he wasn't here.

I was ashamed that I was happy.

If we had spent the last ten years together, I was sure he would still be my best friend. But we hadn't. We hadn't, because of a decision he'd made.

Now he wanted me to pity him. He wanted me to act as though I was the young and na?ve little sibling who needed him. He wanted me to prioritize his will over my own, over the life I built without him when he left.

It wasn't fair. All I wanted to do was explain it to him, to make him understand why things weren't the way they'd been when he left. But there was no talking to him. He wouldn't listen. He was so stubborn, all he heard was his own voice in his head.

He was a kid. That's what it all came down to. Mentally, he was a kid, and he needed time to mature.

But I wasn't his mother. Even if I was, he was grown now. He needed to understand life on his own. He needed to grow up, and I couldn't do that for him.

And the fact was, I was on the journey of a lifetime. I had spent so many years building a career on Earth, scraping by, and soldiering on, and suffering. Then all that work, all that credit I'd built in the supernatural community, was practically stripped from me. I didn't have the allies I needed there. Not since Warren had stopped working for the Chambers.

But now I had opportunities to learn, and grow, and become one of the most powerful Witches alive.

That was the fantasy. I didn't expect it. Laila may have believed that I could grow so strong that I could create my own dimension, but I wasn't sure about that. All I did know was that I was meeting people with decades, centuries, more experience in my craft than I had.

They wanted to teach me, and I wanted to learn.

But what could be done for someone who didn't want that? Jake didn't want to learn, didn't want to grow, and especially didn't want to accept the new role he'd have to play in mine and Graham's lives. What could I do for him?