35. ‘Raven’

THIRTY-FIVE

The day is finally here and I feel calm as can be. I thought I’d be a nervous wreck but I feel at peace. Yeah, I’m worried everything won’t go as planned but that has to be every bride’s worry.

Thank God Onyx recommended we have the bachelor and bachelorette parties the week before. My God, what a party. First, I ended up at Tink’s ranch where the club sisters, my mom and sisters, Gertie, my mom’s sister, Cynthia, and a few of our long-time employees were all there. We spent hours just having fun. Food was awesome, it was catered from the bar and grill. The booze ran freely and no one was feeling any pain. Then when I started opening the gifts, it hit me why there were no young kids around. I mean, some of the gifts I have no idea what you do with them. The younger sisters were able to explain them to me in front of my mom and Ash’s, which had me red as a tomato while the two of them laughed hysterically. I stayed at the ranch as, I guess, Ash was more than a little drunk, and he stayed at Panther’s ranch where his bachelor party was held. The next day when we both made it home, all we did was lie around and rehydrate.

As I sit and have my hair and makeup done with my sisters and club sisters, everything seems to be going as planned. Olivia has a notebook, writing stuff down for—as she told me—her upcoming wedding. She is adorable and I think she and Teddy are beyond cute.

Mom walks up to me and sits next to me, grabbing my hands. I see both Onyx and Bray come over, along with Gertie. Mom looks at me with tears in her eyes.

“We know you might have covered this already, but we thought if not we could help out. Now I have your something new, so your father and I went into Bozeman for this. I know what your dress looks like and hopefully this will go with it. We are so happy for you, Brenna, as Ash is a good man. Dad and I wish you nothing but the best of everything.”

She hands me a blue bag that has Onyx sighing. I open it after almost swallowing my tongue when I saw the name on the box. Inside is a gorgeous necklace. It is a beautiful flower made of all kinds of gems. I think the center is a solitaire diamond and around it for petals are soft colors. Then there are, I’m thinking, emeralds for leaves. It is surrounded by braided metal to hold it all together. It’s beyond stunning. I put it down and grab Mom, hugging on her tightly.

Gertie is up next. She has a smaller box in her hands.

“These were my mother’s. One of the few items I was able to hide so they didn’t disappear. They can be your something old.”

I flip open the wooden jewelry box to see beautiful diamond earrings. The top has a diamond stud that has a hanging teardrop off of it. They are breathtaking. I thank Gertie. Then my sisters make their way to me. Onyx has a bag and Bray has a smaller one. Surprisingly, Bray is the one who explains.

“Brenna, we are responsible for something borrowed and something blue. So, this is from the both of us. This is your something blue.”

She hands me the smaller bag. When I look in, I laugh loudly. Pulling out a blue garter belt with very tiny flowers all around it, I think it’s perfect. Then Onyx pushes the larger bag toward me.

“Here’s your something borrowed. Don’t argue with me.”

I lean over and look down to see a shoe box in the linen bag. And not any box but one that says Christian Louboutin. My mouth falls open as Bray giggles. Yeah giggles. That tells me her therapy sessions are helping her if she can let loose like that after what she went through.

“Brenna, I bought those a few years ago because they were so pretty and for some reason, they reminded me of you. I wore them once then put them in the back of my closet. I hope you like them.”

Carefully, I pull the box out and lift the top. Removing the red ribbon off the box, I then pull two red bags out with a smaller red bag. Pulling the soft tissue paper apart, I gasp at what I see. Inside are the most beautiful heels I’ve ever seen. Thank God I’ve been practicing with the ones I bought, otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to walk in these. I turn the box and see the name of the heels are Flora. I’m blown away then something pops in my mind.

“Oh my God, Onyx, I can’t wear these. How much did they cost? And what are the red bags for?”

Onyx smiles then moves closer to me.

“First, Brenna, the two bags are dust bags for storage. The smaller red bag is heel replacement in case you need to replace them. Finally, don’t worry about how much they cost. I’m not giving them to you, just lending, remember? Now let’s get you ready so Ash’s jaw drops when he sees you.”

The rest of the morning is spent on all the beauty stuff that I guess every bride goes through. Since we are at our house, Gertie and Mom have been in charge of all the food and beverages. The mimosas were running freely and little Olivia had her own kiddy cocktail that she is enjoying thoroughly. The morning passes quickly with lots of laughs between us all. As the time gets closer the calmer I become. Mom and Gertie help me into my dress, which is perfect. It is well-fitted on the top, with subtle crystals on it that go down to the skirt that gently flares out. The skirt has an overlay of colored flowers, which I fell in love with. My mom not so much, but since that was the one I wanted, she didn’t say much. Now after being zipped and buttoned in, I slowly turn with my hair down off to the side, curled with the accessories in it. When I look at Mom she is smiling and crying. Gertie too.

“Hey, none of that, I can’t mess up this makeup, I’ll look like Frankenstein. Now we need to get a move on, time’s a wasting. Time for me to become Mrs. Ashton Sterling.”

Both moms give me a brief hug then we make our way to the great room to see all the girls ready and waiting. I told everyone to pick whatever they wanted. I wanted it to look like a rainbow and it sure does. Everyone looks stunning then I look at Shadow and my mouth drops. She is in a simple, lemon-yellow A-line dress with a soft overlay of a shimmery rainbow fabric. Simple and beautiful. Her long hair is loosely braided, probably done by Panther, and soft curls are around her face. I know how hard that is for her so I hope my smile shows her how much it means to me.

We make our way outside to see the carriage with Warrior all cleaned up with his tail braided. Behind it is the huge wagon that has been cleaned. Since we are going to my field, we have to either go in golf carts—not—or take the carriage and wagons. This was my choice. My brothers and Ash are waiting to help us then they will jump in the golf carts. Once everyone is settled, we start on our way to the field of flowers.

As we get closer, there are battery operated candles all over with the fairy lights. It’s perfect. I can see people sitting in the seats and the arch looks beyond gorgeous. When we finally arrive, I don’t see Ash anywhere. Shadow comes up to me asking a few questions about the service then she goes up front. Everyone starts to take their places so I finally get down with Ollie’s help. Well, he grabs me around the waist and lifts me out of the carriage as Orin and Bennett make sure my train stays up for the time being. I know having it out here in nature there might be some grass or mud on the train of the dress, but that’s okay. I hear music so that tells me we are starting up. I’m far enough back I don’t see the arch or Ash yet.

One by one, everyone in the wedding party makes their way down with their partners. That is, after first Joshua walks down with my little niece. Then Teddy and Olivia go down as junior bridesmaid and groomsman. Finally, it’s just my dad and me. He’s looking at me with such happiness on his face, I feel the emotions but push them down.

“You ready, Brenna? And, Daughter, you look beautiful. Thank Christ you got your mother’s looks ’cause if you got this mug, it wouldn’t look half as good with that gown. Now I think there’s a young man who’s probably going nuts. Ready to get this show on the road?”

Laughing, I nod. He offers his arm and I place mine in his. There are huge steppingstones so I don’t have to worry about my fancy heels going into the mud. When we get ready to go down the aisle, everyone stands. Dad and I start to walk down the thick white runner when I look up and suddenly stop. Ash is at the end of the aisle looking beyond handsome. He’s in a dark pinstripe gray tailored suit, with a crisp white dress shirt and a flowered tie. Yeah, flowered. And brand-new boots with his dress Stetson on his head. Damn, he is fine. Everyone is waiting when I lean into Dad and whisper. He starts chuckling as we begin fast walking toward the front. When we are almost there, I let Dad go, pick up my skirt with one hand, while hanging on to my bouquet in the other. Then I kind of jog-run down the aisle until I reach Ash, who immediately pulls me close. When he leans down, I raise my head so our lips touch. Right at this moment, I know this is the beginning of the rest of my life. And no matter what, as long as we are together, we can get through anything.

Well, that is until I hear that voice telling me we aren’t supposed to kiss until she tells us to. Leave it to Shadow, I think to myself as Ash and I separate and turn so we can finally get married. Time to finally start the life we were always supposed to have. Just the two of us, together forever.

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Wildcat, Book Eight

‘WILDCAT’

Frankie

My God, my club sisters are dropping like flies. Never thought I’d see the women I admire and call my chosen family manage to find men who fit their personalities to a T.

These are the thoughts running through my mind as I’ve just watched Raven say her I dos to her high school sweetheart, Ash. Never would I have thought our hilarious technology nerd would have fallen for a Montana cowboy, though it makes sense. Raven grew up in Timber-Ghost and her entire family is now back here in town, well, all around it. Watching them exchange their vows and kiss, it brings back memories I’ve tried to keep at the back of my mind. Fuck, don’t need that shit to surface now. Our club has had enough drama to last us all for the rest of our lives. Damn, between Tink, Shadow, Taz, Vixen, Glory, and now Raven, we need a damn break.

Hearing everyone clapping, I put my hands together to join the crowd as we celebrate our friend’s happy time. Looking around, can’t believe how we’ve become such a close-knit community because, at one time, no one wanted the Devil’s Handmaidens MC anywhere near Timber-Ghost. Over the years Tink and our club have proven ourselves to the townsfolk. As we all make our way to take a few pictures I feel someone plow into me from the back. When I turn around, our enforcer has a shit-eating grin on her face. And my God, to see her in a dress blows my mind.

“So you up next there, Wildcat? Let’s see if you can live up to your club name. Some dude would be lucky to have you, sister.”

Laughing, I ignore her comment. Little does she know been there, done that. Just that brief thought brings an overwhelming sadness to my heart. I can’t change my decisions, even if I wanted too. Life goes on and, unfortunately for me, mine is moving along in Montana and not New York. I do reach out to my family occasionally, though they have no idea where I’m at. That can’t be shared or I’ll be bringing a shit ton of trouble to our neck of the woods. Both good and bad. Especially if my location gets out to Malcom, he’ll lose his ever-loving mind. And I don’t want to add to any more pain or sorrow to him, I’ve done enough.

* * *

Today has been a great day and also a day of difficult to remember memories for me. Thank God I have one of the cabins behind Tink’s huge ranch home because tonight I need some quiet and alone time. After I remove my colorful dress and shoes, I get in some comfortable lounge clothes. I grab a huge bottle of water since I did some drinking at the reception that was held here at the ranch. And got to say, Heartbreaker did a phenomenal job on getting it all together. It was beyond breathtaking with all the wildflowers Raven loves.

I walk to the bedroom, open the closet, and move stuff around to grab the Rubbermaid that holds my entire life before the Devil’s Handmaidens. I drag it to the couch and sit down, pulling the lid off. The memories hit me so hard I have to lean back and take a few breaths. Damn, maybe tonight isn’t the right time to go through all of this stuff. Last time I spoke to my mom she told me everyone was doing well and happy. That was all I ever wanted for everyone back home. Taking a deep breath, I lean forward and start to pull shit out and place it on the table in front of the couch. When everything is out, I push the bin over and start to go through it slowly. Pictures of my parents and siblings bring a few tears to my eyes. I gulp some water down as the pictures start to show me growing up, and at the first one with both Malcom and me in it, my eyes let loose. It was our freshman dance and the first one we’d ever gone to, but definitely not our last.

Looking at his handsome face never gets old. Even though he was young he was a big kid. By freshman year he was well over six-foot tall and would grow another couple of inches before he reached his adult height. His caramel skin was beyond gorgeous, especially with his multi-faceted eye color. They were a mixed of gray, green, and blue. Depending on what he wore, his eye color changed.

Moving stuff around, I see a couple of the pictures I want and grab them. Leaning back with the photos in one hand and my water bottle in the other, I drink more water before replacing the cap and putting it on the couch. I start to go through the small stack of pictures as memories flood my brain. My God, we were so young and na?ve. Each dance photo shows how much we were growing up, but the look in both of our eyes never changed. Well, it did, we fell more and more in love. That love went from a kid’s love to an adult one. When Malcom went down on a knee when I was in my first year of college, my entire family was in on it.

We were doing our usual morning routine of jogging through Central Park. As we turned to head back to our apartment, Malcom came to an abrupt stop by one of the waterfalls and grabbed my hands. Both of us sweating and kind of out of breath, I didn’t know if something was wrong with him or not. Then I heard the music coming toward us. When I turned, both of our families were making their way to us, my baby brother with his iPad and speaker in his hands. The song “At Last” by Etta James was playing and it sent shivers down my spine. When I turned back to my man, he was on one knee in front of me, a jewelry box in his hand. My eyes literally popped outta my head. We talked about this and wanted to wait until I finished college with my Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice Administration, and Malcom finished medical school and got into his residence program. His beautiful gray blue-green eyes were glittering as they looked right into my grayish-hazel eyes. This had been my dream since we first met and even though it was before I thought he’d ask, my heart was pounding as my mind started to dream of our future together.

When Malcom asked I didn’t even let him finish. I jumped him as our families all laughed and cheered. The ring was perfect; it was a solitaire with our birthstones on either side. So on the left was an opal for my October birthday and on the right was a peridot to match Malcom’s August birthday. The band was thick so none of the stones stood out. He thought of everything because he knew I’d never want to take the ring off, and if I became a cop I couldn’t have a huge stone sticking out of the setting.

The next couple of months went by in a blur. I planned with my mom, sisters, Malcom’s mom, aunt, and sister. Everything was so easy it just amazed all of us. In the meantime, I graduated summa cum laude from college with my degree and immediately was accepted into the police academy. Malcom was headed off to medical school, which meant our time was going to be very limited so we decided to take a short trip to Bear Mountain State Park, one of our favorite places. Both of our parents surprised us with a cabin rental. So off we went, na?ve and stupid as fuck. Two young kids off for a short week away before their lives got crazy. Little did we know how that short trip would change our lives.

The cabin was quaint and rustic but gorgeous. It had everything we needed. One bedroom and bath, a small kitchenette, and a living room. Outside a front porch with a barbecue and farther out a firepit the view overlooking a body of water down the mountain from where we were staying. The next cabin was at least a half-acre or more away and not even sure it was rented at the time we were there. The first couple of days were beyond fabulous. We hiked, swam, and just spent quality time together. On the third or fourth morning as we were sitting on the front porch when two hikers approached, calling out.

Malcom immediately was his friendly self but something about the two men was off to me. I walked back into our cabin and grabbed the small handgun my dad always told me to carry, no matter what. This was an argument that Malcom and I had. He hated guns and didn’t want me to carry, which was crazy I was going to be a cop, for God’s sake. I also grabbed my mace, putting that in the pocket of my jacket, and the gun in the holster in the back of my jeans.

I made my way back outside and the two men were now sitting on the stairs of the front porch. Malcom looked my way and I could see his concern about these unexpected visitors. They started to ask some personal questions like if we were out there alone and if we had a few bucks we could loan them. Malcom came closer to me and told them our parents had run to get some groceries but would be back shortly, and we were expecting more of our family to arrive later in the day. They looked at each other before looking back at us. The look they gave to us was dangerous and we both felt it. I knew they were going to try and change the path our lives were on.

Malcom took a chance, pushing me back into the cabin, telling me to lock the door. I could hear the struggle outside as I grabbed for my cell phone and the satellite phone Malcom’s dad insisted we bring with. The cell had no reception but the satellite immediately started up and I dialed 911. When the call connected, I calmly told the operator in a whisper our names and what was going on and where we were. She told me to stay on the line as she called the park’s rangers. Also she put a call out to any available officers close to the park. Just as I started to give a description, I heard Malcom scream out in pain.

“Frankie, stay inside where you are safe. I know it’s hard but going out there puts not only your fiancé in more danger but also yourself. Stay put.”

“I can’t. He’s in a lot of pain and I can’t just stand around. I’ll put the satellite phone in the back of the bookcase so you can listen in as much as you can. Will leave the door open too. Thank you for all you do and for helping us.”

“No, damn it, Frankie, don’t, stay with me.”

Once again in a whisper I thanked her and hid the phone. With the gun in my hand and the mace in my pocket, I made my way to the window first. What I saw I’ll never forget. The two men were trying to hang Malcom off a tree by the edge of the mountain. He was fighting like crazy though he was already injured by the amount of blood on him. I took a breath and opened the door slowly.

“Get away from him now, you dicks. Let him go.”

Both men turned and looked my way. That’s when I heard the words that did change my life.

“No, Frankie, go back in. There’s more than these two asswipes. Watch yourself.”

I heard him before I saw him. Off to my right, I turned, aimed in that direction, and when a huge man appeared, I shot, hitting him center mass. He immediately fell backward hard, on to the ground off the deck. I could hear boots hitting the ground as I turned and before I could shoot, one of the men was right in front of me, hitting my gun hand. The gun went flying as he tackled me back through the cabin door. His weight sent me to the floor and I lost my breath. By the time I could think, since I banged my head on the wood floor, the other guy was also inside. He slammed the door as he came toward me.

“Bitch, you’re gonna pay for what you just did to Buck. He’s got kids, you whore.”

The first punch took me by surprise but by the seventh or eighth I prayed I’d pass out before they took their party to the next level. Right before my mind went blank, I heard my clothes being ripped from my body. Last thought before I lost consciousness, I prayed Malcom was okay.

Wiping my face, I reach for my water as I’ve had enough reminiscing. Finishing off the bottom, I push the photos to the side and stand up, going to the kitchen. I open the refrigerator and grab the open bottle of wine. Opening the cabinet off to the side, I pull a wine glass out and fill it. I sit at the kitchen table and suck back wine until my hand stops shaking. Not sure why, I pull my phone out and look up contacts. When I see his name, I hit the contact and wait. When the voicemail kicks in, I listen to his sexy deep voice

“Hi, you reached, Mal. I’m not available so at the beep leave your name, number, and whatcha want. I’ll try to get back to you as soon as I can. And if this is Frankie, nothing has changed, please get in touch with me. Nothing was your fault. I miss your face beautiful.”

The beep sounds and I look at my cell and hit disconnect. Then I finish my glass of wine, grab the bottle, and chug the rest of it, then I lose it, sobbing at the table like I lost my best friend, because I actually did. That life is gone forever.