18. Cherine

Chapter 18

Cherine

I hadn’t gotten far on my walk before it started snowing. Though early snowfalls weren’t uncommon this time of year, I was completely unprepared for it. It was a shame, too, because the low clouds gave the surrounding forests and meadows a haunting look. I felt like I could relate, and now, with the sparkling white flakes floating down like confetti, everything looked far more beautiful than I felt.

I pulled my coat tighter around my face and decided to turn back. I’d told Rolf I’d be gone for at least an hour, something he seemed rather happy about, but I figured I could occupy myself with something else. Needlework always bored me, but it seemed the lady-like thing to do—something I needed to embrace, since I was set to become a duchess.

Of course, nothing had happened yet with the King of France, but Rolf was confident it was just a matter of time. The French would be a nervous wreck waiting for his next move, and eventually, they’d decide to cut their losses and make a deal with him. His confidence was catching, and slowly, it started to sink in that the life I’d only ever dreamed of could actually be mine.

But there was one problem, I thought as I kicked a large stone down the lane: the marriage. We weren’t betrothed yet, and I wasn’t sure if Rolf even believed in it, especially after losing his wife. But I knew the king would make things official in the eyes of the Lord. Growing up, I’d always known I’d have to marry someone I didn’t love; my only hope had been that he’d be kind. But now that I’d had a taste of freedom, I found myself thinking more about Erik than anything else.

I knew it was ridiculous. I didn’t love Erik any more than I loved Rolf, but at least with Erik, I’d felt some kind of connection. Rolf was kind during the day and brutal at night. Our sex had become rough and wild to the point where I was starting to dread it. Sometimes, I’d have time to come; sometimes, I wasn’t even allowed. His obsessive need for control had gone too far. Erik had been abrasive when he needed to be, but it was just the right amount. I found myself wondering how things might be different if I was a duchess beside him instead of Rolf.

But there was no point in dwelling on what couldn’t be changed. Though Rolf was fickle and cantankerous at times, he was a leader, a ruler, and I would rule beside him. I’d have money and the finest things life had to offer. I would have a life that would erase my old one and make all the wrongs right again. Besides, I still found Rolf incredibly sensual, even when he was riding me like a horse or whipping me with rope. As long as he didn’t start doing anything too outlandish, I could live with the hedonistic beast as my husband.

I had to.

I entered the gates of the village and strolled up to the manor’s door, where the guards parted for me. I glanced around, hoping to spot Erik. We’d only seen each other from afar, and he was always watching me. I wanted to think he was looking out for me, but the way things had been left between us the last time we were intimate made me question everything. What did he think of me? Did he care that I was with Rolf? Had Erik ever wanted me for myself, or had he only been with me because Rolf ordered him to?

I climbed the stairs, holding the ends of my green and gold dress, then walked down the hall, my steps deliberate. It wasn’t until I was almost at their door that I heard the grunts from the other side and a distinctly female cry. My stomach tightened, and panic bubbled up inside me.

I hesitated for a moment then placed my hand on the door handle and threw it open. My jaw dropped at the sight before me.

Rolf was on the bed, thrusting into a plump blonde woman. They were both completely nude—though Rolf still wore his belt with his smaller weapons hanging from it—and they were both lost in the moment. Rolf continued to grunt as he thrust forward while the woman cried out, though whether from pleasure or pain, I couldn’t tell. Neither of them noticed me right away.

Who did notice me were the five other men in the room who were watching the entire thing. Two of them—one being Ross—were pleasuring themselves to the sight, while the other three immediately surrounded me. They grabbed me from both sides and held me in place while Rolf finished.

That was when I realized Rolf knew I was there, knew I’d caught him with his pants down, and didn’t care. He came, loud as usual, then pulled out of the woman and shoved her face first into the bed.

“My beauty,” he grunted as he stood from the bed and strode toward me, his spent cock swinging between his legs. “I thought you were out for a walk.”

I couldn’t find my voice. “It’s snowing,” I squeaked out.

He looked behind him at the window. “Ah, so it is. Well now, my dear, you look quite shocked. Are you well?”

I glanced around at the other men—one of them had just finished coming into his hand while Ross was preparing to fuck the blonde woman again. She moaned on the bed, looking broken and motionless, but Ross didn’t care. He was practically drooling.

No, I wasn’t well, and neither were these men.

“I have to go,” I said quietly, trying to turn, but the grips on me tightened. I looked at Rolf, horrified. “Please have your men release me.”

“I don’t believe I will,” Rolf answered simply. He smiled, but there was no humor in it. “Tell me, why are you acting this way? Have you never seen two people fucking each other before? Or do you have a problem with me fucking a whore when you’re the only whore I should be fucking?”

My eyes narrowed as his words cut deep. “I didn’t think you’d find someone to replace me while I was out on a walk.”

Rolf threw his head back and laughed, looking around at the other men until they joined in. “Oh, my dear, you can’t be serious. Do you think this pig here is meant to replace you? No, gods, no. You can’t be replaced.”

He came up to me, placing his hands on my face. I could smell the musky odor from the woman on his fingers, and I flinched.

His eyes darkened, losing all trace of humanity. “My, you’re not taking this very well, are you? I suppose I’ll have to remedy this to please the future duchess.”

“Please tell them to release me,” I said, my voice trembling, but Rolf ignored me. He turned and walked back to the bed.

“All right, Ross, your fun is over—for now, anyway. You’ve always been a bit sick in the head, haven’t you?”

Ross glared at him as Rolf shoved him aside. Then, he grabbed the woman by her long blonde hair, yanking her off the bed. She screamed as Rolf dragged her across the floor, her legs kicking out behind her, helpless like a caught fish.

Rolf stopped in front of me, pulling the woman up until she was on her knees. She was pretty up close, angelic, even, but the terror in her eyes made me want to scream. I wanted to beg Rolf to release her, to let her go.

But before I could say anything, he spoke again, his voice tight. “I had no idea you were the jealous type. Tell me, Cherine, how do you think I felt when I had to watch you with Erik? How do you think I felt when you were with him every moment of every day, staring up at him with those big green eyes of yours? Tell me!”

My voice shook as I spoke. “You…made Erik do that. You ordered him to.”

“He wanted to!” Rolf boomed, his eyes flashing with rage. “Erik tried to keep you all to himself, but that’s not how it works around here. What’s everyone’s is mine—including you.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but no words came out. I closed it, confused and afraid.

Rolf’s smile twisted into something sinister. “But it doesn’t matter how I felt about the whole thing. It’s about how you feel. You’ll do anything for me, Cherine, and I…I would do anything for you.”

Then, in one, swift motion, he pulled a dagger from his belt. Without hesitation, he plunged it into the blonde woman’s chest, and the sickening thud echoed in my ears.

We both cried out, but it was too late. Her wide blue eyes went cold, and she crumpled to the floor, blood spilling from her mouth. Rolf let go of her hair, and she fell, lifeless.

“Do you see what I’d do for you?” he asked, his voice high-pitched and frantic. “The whore is gone. Are you satisfied now?”

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. The walls of the room seemed to close in around me. What had just happened? What in God’s name had just happened?

Ross quietly grabbed the dead woman by her hair and dragged her back to the bed. Everyone knew what he was going to do, but no one cared.

“I have to go,” I said, my hand over my mouth, desperately trying to hold down the bile rising in my throat. “I don’t feel well.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay?” Rolf asked, watching me carefully. “I’d like you to stay…”

“I have to go,” I repeated, my voice shaky, on the verge of panic.

Rolf took his time thinking it over, and those thirty seconds felt like the longest of my life. Finally, he gave a reluctant nod to the men who held me, and they released their grip.

“Go then, my beauty. Just make sure you’re around for dinner. Roast pig tonight.”

The men snickered, and I quickly turned on my heel, fleeing the room. I didn’t know where I was going or what I would do, but I had to get away. I wanted to run as far as I could, to erase the images from my mind.

Once again, like always, I had nowhere to run.