23. Epilogue

23

Epilogue

S ix Months Later

Rory sat long enough for the dampness of the grass to seep through his pants. His knees were drawn up to his chest, and his eyes were fixed on his sister’s name. The granite headstone had speckles of gold, and when it caught the sun, it sparkled. He’d filled the pots at the base of the headstone with bright daffodils. Even during the coldest spells of winter, he swore to himself Erica would be surrounded by colour.

Beside his sister’s gravestone was his father’s, and Rory had spoken to both of them that day. It felt strange at first, talking when there was no one there to listen, but he’d realized it was common for grieving loved ones to speak to their headstones.

Almost six months had passed since Erica’s service. Sebastian had got Rory through it, and afterwards Rory was left with a hollowness he didn’t know how to fill. Sometimes it felt so overwhelming he thought he wouldn’t get through another day, but Sebastian stepped in, held him together until he was ready to take on the next one.

It took six months to find himself again, but he missed Erica with a fierce ache in his chest.

Rory sensed Sebastian before he saw him. He glanced over his shoulder, shooting Sebastian a smile.

“Officer down.” Sebastian smirked. “Does he request back-up?”

Rory snorted as he got to his feet. He was still wearing his uniform, but he had loosened his tie and untucked his shirt. He’d left his hat and stab vest in his car.

He was the police officer he wanted to be, tackling domestic disputes and petty crime.

Making a difference in a small way with no aspiration to be more.

It was enough for Rory.

He’d been partnered with Chloe, a bubbly character who sometimes reminded Rory of Erica. Chloe was nothing like Hamish, and Rory knew she had his back, just like he had hers.

Sebastian pulled Rory into his arms and kissed his cheek.

“I like the flowers.”

“They’re pretty.” Rory glanced back at them. “I was just…talking to them, you know…”

“I know,” Sebastian said softly.

“I told them about you.”

Sebastian raised his eyebrow. “You hadn’t already?”

“No. Our…relationship is complicated.”

Rory ducked at Sebastian’s burning gaze.

“ Was complicated,” Rory rectified. “It’s good now, great even—”

“That’s more like it.” Sebastian smirked, squeezing him.

“But the beginning, that was messy.”

Sebastian tipped his head in the direction of Rory’s father and sister. “Do you think they would’ve approved of me?”

Rory hummed. “Eventually.”

Sebastian’s eyebrows shot up. “Eventually?”

“Erica would’ve labelled you ancient and bombarded me with a load of sugar daddy jokes.” Rory smiled, picturing it. She would’ve brought up the colour of Sebastian’s hair. He had a full head of it, but it was silver.

Sebastian had told him he started going grey before he was twenty, but only on his head.

“And your dad?” Sebastian asked.

Rory laughed, leaning into Sebastian’s embrace. “He would’ve assumed you were a maintenance man. An electrician…or a plumber.”

“Erm. Okay…”

Rory wiped his eyes. “I told them you’ve been there for me. You take care of me. And if it wasn’t for you I’d—”

“Shhh,” Sebastian said before pressing his mouth to Rory’s to stop him saying more.

Rory sighed into the kiss.

The first days and weeks after Sebastian’s release were the hardest. Not just because Rory needed to make arrangements for Erica, but because Rory had accepted his imminent death at the hands of Sebastian. He could push all his grief, despair, and helplessness aside, knowing he wouldn’t have to deal with it, but suddenly, he couldn’t do that anymore.

He had to deal with it, and living had seemed a cruelty at first.

Sebastian broke the kiss. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

Sebastian wrapped his arm over Rory’s shoulders, and they strolled towards the gate.

“Long day?” Sebastian asked.

Rory hummed. “Yeah. I was called to a traffic collision.”

Sebastian’s jaw tightened. He stopped, and Rory stopped too. “Everyone okay?”

“There were injuries, but they should all be okay.”

Sebastian nodded, but he still looked tense.

“What about you?” Rory asked.

“I’m finalizing plans for the Jameson’s farm plot. Think of it…houses, flats, small shops.”

“Look at you, now a legitimate property developer…”

Sebastian winked. “For now.”

Rory raised his eyebrow. “What do you mean for now?”

“Who knows what the future will bring.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”

Sebastian flashed him a smile.

“And Hamish?” Rory asked.

Sebastian sighed through his nose. “He’s put his house up for sale, but with all the building traffic, and the sound, and dust, I doubt he’ll get the price he wants for it. I may even take pity on him and offer to buy it.”

“I think he’d rather burn it to the ground.”

Sebastian tipped his head back and barked a laugh. “I don’t doubt that.”

Their apartment was only a short drive, and when Rory looked up at their home, a small smile twitched his lips.

He and Sebastian ate together, had sex, worked out, and played chess, just like they had inside, but they did new things too. Sebastian liked being outside, he liked walking through woodlands, across fields and beaches.

Their hands linked as they walked, and Rory’s heart always did an excited thump when Sebastian reached for him.

It felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Sebastian was right.

They fit.

Sebastian liked Oodles but hated Flip Over with a burning passion after a kid pointed him out and called him a grandad.

Once a month, they ate chips at Rashford pier and sat on the bench where all their lies had come out into the open.

Rory felt a little less alone and broken each day. He had a home with Sebastian, a life, and when he walked into the hallway, he released a long breath, shut his eyes and stood for a few seconds.

Sebastian came up behind him and rubbed his shoulders.

“You’ve got another letter from Captain.”

“Have you read it?” Rory asked.

“Nope. It’s in the kitchen.”

Sebastian released him, and Rory strolled into the kitchen. He ripped open the letter, and his eyes roamed Captain’s scribbly handwriting. He’d been seeing Jarvis regularly, and although he didn’t say so in the letters, Rory hoped the sessions were helping. In each letter, he always wrote a paragraph about Ollie, and Rory’s heart soared when Captain told him Leo had been to visit.

His own visiting orders were still going unanswered, but he hoped with enough time, Ollie would give him a chance to explain and let him be there for him in whatever small way he could be.

Sebastian stepped into the kitchen and flung his jacket at the back of a chair. His tank top clung to his chest, and Rory gave him an appreciative look.

“I was going to do pesto pasta for dinner?”

Rory scrunched his nose and put the letter down. “I’ll cook.”

“I’m not that bad.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“You’ve got a weak stomach; that’s all it is.”

Rory snorted. “Weak after you poisoned it… Where’s the recipe?”

“On my laptop.”

Rory snorted, walked over to the laptop and flicked the lid open. He froze at what the web browser had been left on. “How to cheat at chess…”

Sebastian rushed over and tried to shut the lid, but Rory caught his wrist.

“It’s a typo.” Sebastian laughed. “It should say how to get better at chess.”

Rory narrowed his eyes. “It definitely says cheat.”

“No, it—”

“Sebastian…”

Sebastian raised his hands. “Okay, Officer Matterson, you’ve got me.”

“Caught in the act.”

A noise close to a purr escaped Sebastian’s lips, and his pupils darkened. “Surely there must be something I can do to keep you quiet, to keep this between you and me.”

Rory matched Sebastian’s coy smile with his own. “Like what?”

“Well…” Sebastian bit his lip. “I don’t have any money to bribe you with—”

“What are you talking about, yes you—”

“Shhh,” Sebastian said. He reached for the top button of Rory’s shirt. “But maybe we can come to an arrangement of another kind.”

“I’m listening.”

Rory looked down at Sebastian’s fingers making quick work of his buttons. Sebastian unhooked Rory’s belt. “You do look sexy as hell in your uniform.”

He got to his knees and pulled Rory’s trousers down. He nuzzled his face into Rory’s crotch and took a deep breath. Rory’s cheeks burned as he glanced down at Sebastian.

“What about it, Officer Matterson?” Sebastian murmured. He wet his lips with his tongue. “Can I tempt you into forgetting about my little misdemeanour?”

“I guess…” Rory croaked. He’d tried to sound playful, but Sebastian on his knees, in their kitchen, was more than enough to make it hard to speak.

Sebastian smiled. “And then you’ll let me go without charge?”

Rory nodded.

Sebastian yanked down Rory’s boxers, and they joined his pants trapped at his knees. He grabbed the base of Rory’s cock with both hands, opened his mouth wide so Rory could see, then slid his wet lips up Rory’s length until his mouth met his hands.

Sebastian moaned. The vibrations from Sebastian’s enthusiasm caressed him.

Rory threw his head back. “Fuck…”

Sebastian bobbed his head forward and back, keeping his lips tight when he withdrew to Rory’s sensitive head. He sucked greedily, and steadily, and in no time, Rory was panting and starting to shake. He couldn’t hold back, and the last intense tug from Sebastian’s mouth sent him crashing over.

Rory moaned as he came, brain whiting out with the hit of pleasure. Sebastian hummed as he swallowed the spurts, then he drew back and shot Rory a cocky smile.

“That good, officer ?”

Rory nodded. “Yes, thank you.”

Sebastian got to his feet and placed his hands on Rory’s shoulders. “Just so we’re clear, if someone offers you ‘special favours’ on the job, you say—”

“Yes, please?”

Sebastian pinched Rory’s nipple, and he yelped.

“I say no.” Rory rolled his eyes. “Of course I’d say no.”

“Good, because you’re mine.” Sebastian gestured down at himself and the sizable erection in his jeans. “Now, I’m going to take you into the other room and sort this out.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Rory leaned down, yanked up his pants, then allowed Sebastian to stalk him into the bedroom.

The back of his knees met the edge of the bed, and Sebastian pushed him down.

It had been six months since they’d been inside the prison, but the double bed still felt odd. They had room to work with, different positions to try, and afterwards in the glow of orgasm, they could lie together, stroking and kissing. It was a kind of intimacy they didn’t allow themselves inside, but now they were together, they couldn’t get enough of touching each other.

The Vaseline pot had been replaced by a bottle of lube, and instead of unscrewing the lid to get Rory hard, all Sebastian had to do was tap the bottle on the bedside table.

It turned Sebastian on to always have Rory on standby, having trained him like a desperate dog.

Rory never had to ask for another kiss; Sebastian eagerly gave them, and he responded with enthusiasm whenever Rory pressed their mouths together.

Sometimes it was the softest of pecks, or the hard push and pull of desperate lips. Sometimes it was the gentle glide of a tongue or the sharp nip of teeth. Sebastian had a hunger for kissing, and even after they were coated in sweat, tied up in the sheets, and panting for breath, Sebastian still rolled onto Rory’s chest and kissed him hard or soft, rough or smooth.

It was the intimacy of the kissing that made Rory feel loved.

He didn’t need words, although he valued them too when Sebastian whispered his love into Rory’s ear; their lips expressed it just as well, caressing and devouring, and Sebastian always held him close.

On the hardest nights, when Rory dreamed of Erica and everything that happened while he was undercover, Sebastian would kiss Rory’s hair and murmur into his ear, “You’re not on your own, I promise you that.”

And Rory believed him.

He had Sebastian.