Chapter 24

Raphael

I lean backin the doctor’s lounge, staring blankly out the dark windows, exhausted only twelve hours in, and yet knowing that sleep won’t find me anytime soon. The chaos of my ER shift still thrums through my veins, preventing any chance of relaxation. With a grimace, I toss back the dregs of bitter coffee, long grown cold. Should I grab another before the next wave hits?

Glancing over patient charts stacked haphazardly across the table conjures echoes of cries still ringing in my ears—the choking infant girl pulled bewildered from her crib after older siblings awakened their parents to terrifying blue lips... The adolescent boy wheeled in unconscious after accidentally overdosing while unsupervised at a party... The toddler with a dangerously high fever, brought in trembling and confused.

Endless cases blur together in these fluorescent halls as I work tirelessly to patch up the fragility of human bodies. The bone-deep weariness never fades, no matter how much I sleep. But there’s also a raw awe that fills me when I witness just how much suffering living creatures can endure before reaching their limits. My divine healing gifts allow me to transform pain into wholeness, yet they fail to erase the helplessness that lingers behind their frightened eyes.

I exhale heavily, dragging my thoughts back from the dark depths of human despair. Michael smiles over the rim of his coffee mug, lounging in the couch across from my cluttered table. Papers and empty takeout containers litter around us, remnants of our working lunch.

In moments like these, I’m grateful for the unbreakable bond between my siblings. Michael’s calm energy balances out my frenetic restlessness, providing a fleeting sense of peace after facing the most grueling hours.

“Let me guess—Jones and Kapoor?” I ask, glancing up from the patient chart I’m reviewing.

Michael laughs, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Is it that obvious?”

I snort, capping my pen. “Please. You’ve been mentor-despairing over those two baby firefighters since training camp started.” Firefighters. That’s what we call Guardian rookies. “What dazzling heroic antics have they embarked on now?”

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Michael drapes his tall frame into the chair beside me. We’re finally alone in the doctor’s lounge, catching a rare break together between brutal ER shifts tonight.

“Oh... the usual,” he sighs. “Rushing into dangerous situations without proper gear, disobeying direct orders in the name of glory, trying to squat way more weight than their scrawny forms can handle...”

I chuckle at his exasperated tone. “Ah, the impulsiveness of youth. We were hardly better back in the day, o valiant commander.”

“Speak for yourself.” Michael tries and fails to look stern, the corner of his mouth quirking. “Some of us actually respected the chain of command.”

“As I recall, a certain maverick battlefront angel earned quite the reputation for daring solo strikes, breaking ranks...” I wink playfully. “... Sir.”

Michael cracks a grin, cuffing the back of my head. “Brat. Maybe there’s hope for my reckless charges yet, if you eventually turned out so well.”

His praise warms me, as always. We clasp wrists briefly—bonds of brotherhood forged through our shared scars. I know Michael’s gentle heart hides weariness few glimpse under the stoic commander mantle. But for now, contentment graces his eyes and eases my own burdens.

Leaning forward, I top off his mug, clapping one shoulder lightly. “Your time and care never go unnoticed, brother.” My smile includes the countless devoted Guardians who still seek Michael’s golden wisdom and leadership by example. “They would charge through fire without question at your word.” I nod, knowing he’s the one who gives them hope and a vision for making a difference. He is their inspiration.

Michael accepts my praise graciously, eyes crinkling warmly. “And here I thought you were going to tease me for becoming a mother hen again,” he says.

I laugh, slumping back in the well-worn chair. “Oh, never that! Who better to nurture all in need?” Michael’s rolled eyes spark another chuckle. “You’re still the best of us, bro. But let’s keep that between us—I have a playboy image to uphold.”

Michael scoffs into his mug, shaking his head. Then those astute azure eyes narrow, searching my grin subtly. “Speaking of your, shall we say, infamous reputation...” He studies me closely. “No recent escapades to share then?”

My pulse skips reflexively. So much is happening behind discreet doors lately, it hardly seems real. The dual life I lead of endless trauma shifts here versus passionate nights stolen outside feels like a fantasy. But those secret hours shelter me from the bitterness and burnout that threatens all physicians.

Michael waits patiently through my distraction, nursing his coffee without pressuring for a response. And abruptly, the need to share my happiness tumbles free before second thoughts silence the impulse. If anyone deserves insight on my deliriously blissful state, Michael has earned it a thousand times over. Perhaps confiding in someone I trust can ease the guilt weighing on me for betraying heaven’s sacred laws.

My decision is made. I fold my hands loosely, trying to hide any nervous tells that might give me away under Michael’s perceptive eye. I know he won’t judge me; if anyone can understand love defying tradition, it’s him.

“Well, actually... there has been someone recently.” Candor edges my quiet admission. Michael tilts his head attentively, but lets me dictate the pace uninterrupted. I wet my dry lips, pulse thrumming loudly. “We connected some time ago—she stood out instantly from the usual. There’s this magnetic chemistry between us I can’t resist.”

The fondest memories surface: her warm brown eyes closing in delight, riotous chestnut curls tumbling freely down her back... I can almost see that brilliant smile lighting up the room, hear husky laughter meant only for me. Already, craving spikes through my blood, restless to finish this shift and find her delicious heat again.

“Things started casually, but it’s grown deeper than either of us intended, I think.” I lift a shoulder self-consciously under Michael’s weighted look. There’s no hiding the burning truth from my brother, who’s most attuned to emotions. I push on before I lose my nerve. “We’ve seen each other frequently since. And Michael... I cannot get enough of her when we’re together. The days feel empty and lonely until she’s in my arms again.”

Raw longing bleeds through despite my pressed lips. Silence swells, my reflections dancing across the coffee, dark enough to match her stunning eyes. My whole body hums tautly, awaiting Michael’s reaction. But my brother only watches me steadily for a while. Then something in his gaze shifts. Michael sets his mug down with care and leans nearer, tentative joy dawning.

“Raphael... you believe you’re falling in love with this woman?” He breathes the question delicately, as if volume could shatter our bubble.

My throat clenches, denying air. Hearing the terrifying possibility spoken aloud makes my yearning swell almost past containing. Michael’s gentle smile and understanding hand on my wrist coaxes horrified excitement up my tight chest until the words tear free in an anguished rush.

“I burn constantly thinking of her, the need only quiets having Helena again. Nothing else matters during those hours together. She has unknowingly become my entire world...”

My emotions scald me, bubbling up like molten lava. I fist both hands roughly against my prickling eyes as I realize the bonds between us are already woven so tightly, nothing could break them. When I eventually resurface from the torrent, Michael waits patiently, offering silent support like always for his tempestuous siblings.

“Sorry...” I rasp hoarsely, shame heating my face as I admit my weakness. Warrior angels aren’t supposed to give in to their passions, especially not for forbidden affairs like this.

But Michael instantly grips my forearm. “Love reveals our humanity, Raphael. Never apologize for opening your heart.” Fierce conviction burns bright as any battlefield pronouncement of old.

Moved anew by my brother’s eternal supply of grace, I clasp his hand tightly. “So that’s the truth, then.” A deliberate breath steadies my voice. “I’ve fallen ridiculously hard without intention or resistance. And the scariest part? I hold that same power over her. She just chooses to hide behind impenetrable armor.” Michael’s eyes crinkle knowingly and I huff wry agreement. “You’d guessed it already, I’d wager. Probably why you kept needling about my distractions lately.”

Michael dips his head, not denying my accusation. “I sensed someone kindled fire in you again, yes. The glow of new love lights your spirit as strongly as any divine blessing.” His smile holds only shared joy for me, allowing my tentative happiness to take fuller shape. I shake my head ruefully, bolstered by my brother’s acceptance where scorn might easily have ruled in another time. I’ll owe Michael ceaseless gratitude for this.

Conspiratorial mirth dances between us now. Michael leans back, studying me with renewed curiosity about this mystery woman. “Won’t you tell me more about your Helena then? She must be quite phenomenal, winning the heart not easily given from LA’s most notorious flirt.”

His playful prod draws the first unrestrained laugh from me in weeks. The sound rings foreign after constant worry consuming my thoughts. But Michael’s calming strength lets me unload fearlessly as I describe raven hair spilling over alabaster shoulders, lips curving only for me, seductive eyes holding scorching promises...

The overhead pager blares too soon, summoning Michael away on trauma surgeon business. Our smiles fading, my brother straightens reflexively at the call of duty. But he squeezes my shoulder briefly with a nod that speaks volumes before heading off once more into the trenches without hesitation.

“Well, little brother, seems you stumbled upon quite the marvel.” Michael’s eyes twinkle approvingly. “This Helena must be remarkable to captivate your focus so completely. When can I meet the angel who so thoroughly tamed God’s most unrepentant hedonist?” His grin flashes with friendly challenge.

The blood chills in my veins as I recall my devastatingly wicked Helena. If Michael discovers she’s the niece of all evil, it’ll be the end of our renewed kinship.

I force teasing nonchalance desperately past the sudden ache choking my breath again. “Maybe down the line somewhere, if she ever agrees that settling down sounds appealing.” My chuckle aims for casual but falls flat even to me.

Mercifully, Michael seems to mistake my reserve for awkwardness. His smile softens in empathy. “Well, she clearly offers something you need right now if it makes suffering through your notorious boredom with monogamy worthwhile.” His eyes dance gently. “Just promise your brothers updates now and then? We live rather vicariously through your adventures.”

Pausing mid-gathering papers together, Michael catches and holds my look meaningfully. “I cannot tell you how happy seeing you like this makes me, Raphael. Love transforms life beautifully, even if the course seems complicated presently.” Nostalgia-hued eyes gaze through me intently. “If Helena is The One fate destined to complete your spirit, as I believe, any troubles passing between you now will surely resolve so long as devotion remains strong from both sides.”

I stare at my brother, overwhelmed for a beat. His faith restores my own, badly shaken recently by circumstance. I never considered myself needing a life partner before Helena. But having known unparalleled compatibility now with her, the concept of losing my goddess shreds all of my certainties as nothing else could.

I clasp Michael tightly by both shoulders, willing my soul’s silent promise to reach his, despite my unsteady voice. “Thank you Michael, truly. Just knowing you see happiness, not sin in love, lifts a boundless weight off me. With your blessing, I can battle the forces demanding we stay apart without doubts plaguing my devotion.” I shake my head ruefully, meaning bleeding through every fervent word. “She is my destiny, brother. Even though circumstances have made it difficult for us to be together at the moment.”

Michael returns my intent look levelly, hands firm where they cup my neck bracingly. I read his unflinching support in that hawk’s gaze even before solemn words resonate with approval. “Then I give you joy, Raphael. Let no one condemn what Heaven has chosen for you as a reward for your selfless sacrifice. Your actions go beyond mortal understanding.” He smiles gently down at me until I nod, tension melting under his steadfast trust, the rock anchoring all of us since first light.

A screeching alarm blares through the tender moment. Michael’s head jerks up, assessing the summons, then turns apologetic eyes in my direction, already shifting focus. “Duty calls, little brother. We’ll continue this soon.” He hesitates briefly. “Will I see you later?”

I flash him a grin and quickly gather up the scattered charts before following him out of the lounge. “And miss all the excitement around here? Try keeping me away.” I nudge his shoulder affectionately. “It’s not every day that I get to impress my sophisticated city girl with tales of life or death heroics.”

Michael snorts indelicately, but smiles, waving for me to join the controlled rush towards wherever catastrophe struck this time. “You’re welcome to tag along,” he offers.

I crack a smile. “Just like the old days.”

Together, we converge on the trauma bay with the others, Michael smoothly assuming command, barking orders. I hang back, watching the controlled chaos erupting as the gurney wheels in with the victim of a brutal assault.

Years in these trenches steel your heart against clawing empathy when detached action saves lives best. I brace to assist any way needed. But before scrubbing in, movement at my shoulder draws my attention. Rowan, one of our charge nurses, extends me a trauma gown and gloves, her expression grim. “Looks like another alleyway assault with head injuries,” she says. “Defensive wounds on female victim mid-twenties. She’ll need your skills, Dr. Raphael.”

I nod brusquely, familiar wrath at random violence chilling my blood. I focus on the victim’s suffering now; punishing the perpetrators comes later. Tying the gown quickly, I join Michael, assessing the machines wailing the patient’s critical status. Time slows down to snapshots burned into my memory as I take in the scene—a broken body bloodied but breathing shallowly, lank hair obscuring their face matted with gruesome rust from lethal wounds. My professional assessment notices each dire injury pointing towards painful recovery—if we pull this off at all.

I quickly glance over the chart while reciting the protocol, naming each medication and its specific dosage. But as I look up from the clipboard, my voice stumbles at the sight of a piece of jewelry that I recognize, hanging from the patient’s bruised neck.

My breath is knocked out of my lungs as if shot. Because I recognize that ornate antique iron key, mocking me now with a cruel sparkle from where it lies against skin more fitting a corpse than a vibrant, passionate lover.

Dangerously, my vision tunnels. Some distant part of me registers Michael’s sharp tone, calling orders that blur into meaningless noise. Nothing penetrates, except the horror unfolding before me, as my entire world is violently shattered and writhing in agony.

A wounded cry rips out of my throat. I lurch helplessly towards her, overcome with a surge of sickness as reality hits hard.

The gurney rails dig into my palms as I grip them rigid white to stay upright. Someone shouts a warning just as Helena’s eyes slit partially. Glazed brown irises roll drunkenly, trying to fixate upward through her haze of suffering. They finally meet mine. Relief filters through the pain, blackening her gaze, and she mouths something desperate I can’t decipher. Then her eyes slip closed again, the momentary consciousness stolen away once more.

“Baby… can you hear me?” I choke out past the bile scalding my throat. Tears blur sickening details from her violent assault. I cling to the faint beeping, promising she yet clings to life, however tenuous.

Distantly, Michael’s voice cuts through the static roaring inside my skull. “What’s going on here? Raphael—do you know her?” His brows are drawn tight, scrutinizing me.

“Helena! Sweetheart, what happened?” I beg, the question swirling endlessly in my head. “What…?”

My legs nearly give out. Sound roars back in a dizzying wave. Michael is arguing with Security, demanding they remove me now that I’m compromised. Blinding fury whites out everything else. Because now I register her clothes tattered and bloody, bruises mottling her flawless skin in a harrowing accusation of attack. Helena’s vital fluids trickle steadily over the floor as we stand helplessly beside her. And all I can understand is that someone I love deeply hangs now between saving and tragedy under our hands.

My mind spins wildly, imagining what sadistic acts reduced my fierce beloved to this broken shell, barely recognizable. What vicious monsters I’ll soon hunt beyond mercy for such desecrations...

“Who did this to you, Helena?” I growl through gritted teeth. “Who...?!”

I’m jerked back to the present moment by a sudden cacophony of alarms. My head whips towards the monitor displays as Helena’s vitals take a dangerous leap into critical territory. The medical team bursts into coordinated motion around me, shouts rebounding sharply off sterile surfaces.

I can’t think. I can’t stop the overwhelming tide of dread and fury sweeping over me. It’s too much. A guttural moan rips from my chest. “Fuck!” I rear back, punching the concrete wall with my fist. Startled murmurs echo in the room as cracks spiderweb rapidly across the surface. But I’m already stumbling away, skin splitting unheeded across my bloodied knuckles.

“Jordan!” Michael shouts, calling the security guard with a wave of his hand. The man is an intimidating presence, towering over us like a professional wrestler.

A primal growl escapes me before logic kicks in. I’m vaguely aware of protocol demanding my withdrawal. But leaving Helena unprotected feels viscerally treasonous. Michael yells at me again, and my warring halves clash dangerously. I twist enough from his sturdy grip, locking my arm to meet his steely eyes. He braces against the unhinged agony roiling beneath my carefully constructed facade, now threatening to unleash violently without my beloved to soothe the scared kid left behind.

“Leave, Rafa!” he orders me, the wrath of an archangel commander seeping into his voice.

“No!” I shout back, my voice turning into a primal growl as desperation consumes me. “Michael, I can’t abandon her! She needs me!” Pain cracks my desperate plea.

“Not like this!” my brother retorts sternly. “Right now, she needs me!” Michael’s unwavering expression silences any further protests. Despite his typically gracious demeanor, he now stands firm and unyielding.

He pushes me away, towards the waiting security team. “Go cool off and then scrub in, Raphael. I’ll guard her life myself until you get back. She’s safe. GO!”

His stern tone forces me out of that room, which has become my personal hell. In passing, I catch glimpses of my brother removing the bloodied bandages, then snap harsh gestures at the hovering staff to clear efforts stabilizing Helena. Their swift response stops me from glimpsing her beloved face again.

The security guard’s warm voice reaches my ears. “I apologize, Doc. Will you be alright?”

I don’t respond, my eyes fixed on the shock-trauma room. The guard escorts me down long hallways, taking me farther away from where I can hear Michael shouting orders over my loved one’s broken body being rushed towards either recovery or tragedy...