11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Ralphie

Christmas

“Tessy!” I ran into her little house connected to ours and jumped on the bed. I was so freaking happy she moved in with us. My two favorite people were with me all the time. “Wake up, Tessy, it’s Christmas!”

“Sweet boy, what are you doing to your sister?” Daddy asked, he chased me all the way here. “Someone is itching for a spanking.”

“Not me, Daddy, I’m your good boy.”

“Good boys don’t wake their sisters at ungodly hours.”

“Prezzies, Daddy, lots and lots of prezzies for Tessy and me. Oh, and for you, too.”

“Thank you for remembering me,” Daddy rolled his eyes. Come to think of it, he was doing that a lot lately.

“Merry Christmas, little one,” Tessy tackled me.

“Merry Christmas, Tessy. Now go pee, get your robe on and meet us in the family room.” I bounced off the bed. Luckily Daddy caught me before I hit the floor.

“Yes, sir, Mr. Bossy Pants.” Tessy saluted me.

“Sorry, Tessy, but pllleeeeaaassseee!”

“He’s all yours, Daddy Marcel,” Tessy teased Daddy.

“Yes, yes he is. I better get back into shape if I have even a glimmer of hope to keep up with him.” Daddy shook his head. “Youth, energy is wasted on the young.”

I giggled and took off for the family room.

“Little boy, you’re pushing Daddy’s buttons and on Christmas that would be a cardinal sin.”

“Sorry, Daddy,” though I really wasn’t. Well, kinda wasn’t. But I was just too dang excited. This was our biggest, bestest Christmas ever.

“I’m going to start breakfast, why don’t you help Daddy in the kitchen.”

He couldn’t be serious. I was a complete and total disaster in that room on the best of days and today I was far too jittery to focus. But Daddy had his serious face on, and I didn’t want to get into trouble.

“’Kay, Daddy. What do you want me to do?”

“While I don’t think sugar is what you need, Christmas morning without cocoa doesn’t feel right so why don’t you get the mini marshmallows from the pantry.”

“I can do that.” I zoomed across the kitchen to the pantry that was half the size of my old bedroom. This thing was crazy big. If the apocalypse hit, Daddy was all set with as much food as he had in here. I finally found the marshmallows and zoomed back to Daddy. “Here you go, Daddy. I’m Daddy’s little helper.”

Daddy kissed the top of my head. “Yes, you are. Now, can you get the milk from the fridge without spilling it? If you do, Daddy will give you a kiss.”

“I love Daddy’s kisses. Yes, I’m a big boy. I can do it,” I said with far more confidence than I felt. Daddy bought the biggest jugs of milk he could find ‘cause I went through a lot of it. The heavy doors on the giant fridge, hmm, there was a pattern here with everything Daddy had size wise. These fridge doors were no joke to open, even with all my weight behind it I still struggled, but finally it opened. I grabbed the milk, shut the door with my butt—he-he, butt—and slowly walked back to Daddy and sat it on the counter. “Kisses, Daddy,” I puckered up. He smiled and pressed his lips to mine.

“Such a good boy.”

“Yup, Daddy’s good little elf,” I giggled. “I need my elf hat.” I ran back up to my playroom and found it on Howie. “Sorry, Howie, I need this today, but I promise to put it back when I’m done.” With my elf hat in place, I ran back to Daddy. Hopefully my cocoa would be done soon. I was a thirsty boy.

“Wow, someone has the zoomies this morning. Did you let him eat a box of candy canes?” Tessy asked Daddy and I huffed.

“No. I’m a good little elf.”

“Easy there, elf,” Daddy patted my hat. “You’re adorable but Tess is just teasing you.”

“Sorry, Tessy.”

“You’re fine, just be careful. Your slippers will be slick on this floor and getting hurt on Christmas would suck.”

Ugh, it totally would.

“Ohhh, cookies.” Daddy, Tessy, and I had cookie night this week and made a lot of super cute snowman and Santa cookies and Daddy had set them out.

“Only one, Ralphie,” Daddy warned, but I’d already grabbed three and shoved an entire one in my mouth.

“Ohkway,” talking with a mouthful was frowned upon and the glare Daddy gave me was a reminder of that. “Sowry, Dahdy.”

“Put whatever is in your hand on a napkin to save for later. Tess and I are making breakfast, and you need something healthy in your tummy before you over indulge, as I foresee happening.”

Ugh, smart Daddies were no fun.

He slid an empty napkin in front of me and I released my death grip on the two cookies I had. Crumbles flew as I opened my hand. Daddy shook his head then got back to cooking.

“I’ll make this quick for you because I know the wait is hard. McDaddy muffin with eggs, cheese, and bacon. Then we’ll do presents. I’ll even wait to clean up the kitchen until we’re done.”

That said a lot, Daddy hated a dirty kitchen and any dishes in the sink frustrated him. He was a neat freak, but I didn’t lose anything anymore. Daddy made sure of that.

“Okay, Daddy.” This was one of my favorite breakfasts and Daddy made it special for me today.

Daddy and Tessy joined me at the table and started eating right as I finished. “All done, Daddy.”

“Of course you are. Finish the two cookies you mangled while we eat and drink your hot chocolate, it has milk in it.”

“Nummy, nummy,” I blew on it and took a sip. “Daddy makes the best cocoa.”

“Tess made it this time.”

“Tessy, it’s so good and tastes like peppermint.”

“That’s because it has a candy cane in it, silly goose,” Tessy teased. Oh yeah, ha, it did. I stirred it around to make it more minty.

“Thanks, Tessy and Daddy, for breakfast.”

“You’re welcome, sweet boy,” Daddy said, and Tessy nodded.

“All done!” Daddy rolled his eyes and got the wipes to clean me up. “These smell like baby powder. I like that.”

“Glad they meet your approval. Now let’s get to those stockings.”

“Yay!” I took off for the den and nearly wiped out. “Stupid slippy tile.”

“It’s not the tile’s fault the boy running on it doesn’t adhere to the rules.”

“Sorry, Daddy.” I was saying that a lot lately…

Daddy turned on the fun carols then pulled down the stockings. “Hand this one to Tess and this one is for you.”

“Here you go, Tessy.” I kissed her cheek.

“Thanks, sweetie.”

I was too excited to pull each gift out, so I dumped my stocking on the floor to go through. “New cars! Coloring books! Coloring pencils with their own sharpener and cute animal erasers. Ohhh, candy and cute fuzzy socks. More duckies for tubby time! Thank you, Santa!” This was so much fun, but I had to see what Santa brought Daddy and Tessy, too. Well, I pretty much knew since I helped them fill each other’s stockings.

“Perfume, pretty eye shadow, silly socks. Tessy you got fun stuff, too.”

“I did. Thank you, Santa and his little elf.”

I couldn’t stop smiling, I was so happy today.

“Daddy got new boring work socks.”

“Hey, that’s not nice and I needed new socks, and if you look I got fuzzy ones, too.” Daddy took his slippers off and put the fuzzy socks on. “They work well with my slippers.”

“You’re so silly, Daddy. You got new smell goods, too. I love the way you smell, Daddy.”

“Thank you, sweet boy,” Daddy kissed me, and my tummy did flips. “And a new shaving kit. My old one was due for a replacement, and a fancy pen set with my name engraved on them. Very thoughtful. Thank you, Santa and his elf.”

“He-he, I was both your elves.” I had to tell them. I couldn’t keep the secret any longer.

“You are a very silly boy. Now, while Daddy plays Santa, will you be his elf and hand the presents he gives you out?”

“Yes!” I jumped up. “I’m a good helper.”

“So we’ve heard a few times today,” Tessy teased me, and I wiggled my butt at her. He-he, butt. It was such a funny word.

“Be nice to your sister, little one. Now let’s get to work.”

“Daddy, why is my pile so big?” I looked at the ones they had and mine was like a million times bigger.

“Guess Santa thinks you were a good boy this year.”

“Yeah, probably.” They both laughed.

“Time to get to work then. Let’s see what he got you,” Daddy pointed to my pile, and I dug in.

“Tessy, you found a Cookie Monster stuffie!” I squeezed him tight. “Thank you, I love him.”

“You’re welcome, what else did you get?”

“Daddy found a Cookie Monster backpack. Now I can get rid of my ripped up old one. Thank you, Daddy.”

“You’re welcome. Why don’t you open the rest then do one big thank you at the end.”

“Good idea.”

“A Cookie Monster cookie jar. Can I put the Christmas cookies in it, Daddy?”

“Of course, but not until we wash it first.”

“’Kay, Daddy.”

“Thank you so much, Ralphie. When did you take this picture of us?”

“I didn’t, Tessy did, then we went and had it blowed up and put on a canvas to hang up in our house.”

“Tess,” Daddy got all teary-eyed.

“One day I walked in and the two of you were wrestling around on the couch when you suddenly stopped and stared at each other like the other was your whole world, and I got that perfect shot.”

“Did you ever. This is the most amazing gift. Thank you both.” I ran over and kissed Daddy then got back to ripping. Paper flew everywhere.

“Ralphie, this smock.” It was Tessy’s turn to get all teared up. “How did you…”

“Daddy came up with the idea to get you a new work smock, but they were all so boring. We went to the craft store, and he found a make your own iron-on kit. I made them and Daddy cut them out and ironed them on. He had the place sew Miss Tessy on it, so all the littles know who you are.”

“Ralphie, you framed our picture.” Tess traced the frame. “I remember this day when we made the snowman and the snow angels.”

“Tess,” Daddy whispered. “You two had the same idea.” Daddy turned the gift toward me so I could see.

“That’s me making a snow angel!”

“Daddy and Tessy went Cookie Monster crazy. Look at the new cup and bowl set.” I got so many silly toys, and arts and craft stuff. Puzzles, books and… “Cookie Monster slippers. Daddy, can you take the tag off so I can wear them now?” I slid out of my old ones while Daddy removed the tags then put them on and stomped around the living room. “I am Cookie Monster! RAWR!”

“Silly boy. But there’s one more present left.”

I dug through all the wrappers to see if I missed one, but they were all empty. “I don’t see anything.”

“Ralphie, these coasters with pictures and cute little stones on them. When did you have the time to make them?” Daddy asked.

“We did them in Tessy’s house when you had all those phone calls.”

“Do you want to see what all those phone calls Daddy had were about?”

“Maybe?” What if it was something bad?

“Here,” Daddy held his hand out. “Come with me so you can have your last present.”

Daddy walked us through the kitchen, past the pool, and into the gym.

“I don’t want to work out.”

“Ha-ha, silly boy. You’re not but I have a new special place for you to sit while Daddy works out. I know how much that bores you.”

“Oh look, new glass.”

Daddy went to the door between the new glass, opened it, and turned the lights on.

“Whoa,” Tessy and I said at the same time.

“Daddy, our favorite game—skee-ball!” I ran over and pushed the button and down came the balls. “This is amazing. Thank you, Daddy.”

“Yeah, thank you, Daddy,” Tessy said as she pushed the button on the machine beside me and we started playing.

“You are both very welcome. This basketball game wasn’t in the original plan, but the guy offered me a deal I couldn’t refuse,” Daddy said as he started shooting hoops.

I went from game to game to game and tested all seven of them, though I was only good at skee-ball. But I’d get better at the rest now that I could play whenever I didn’t have to work.

“I’ll come to the gym with you anytime now, Daddy.”

“I thought you’d say that.”

I ran and jumped in his arms. “Thank you, Daddy, for the best Christmas ever.”

“You are very welcome, my love, but I have one question for you.”

“What’s that?”

“Thanksgiving at Orion’s house, did you get the wish you wished for when we broke the wishbone?”

“I did.”

“May I ask what that wish was?”

“I wished for a Daddy for Christmas, and I got the best one in the whole wide world.”