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Chapter 23

Rory

Another week floats by in a blissful bubble, but with each passing day, a gnawing anxiety settles in my stomach. It's becoming more and more clear that Amon and Cas are keeping secrets from me. More than once, I've walked in on the two of them with their heads together, only to have them clam up and attempt to distract me when they notice me watching.

Something is wrong, and it has everything to do with them. My mind spins as I try to walk the thin line between demanding they tell me and respecting their privacy.

But through all of this, I've noticed it.

Loss of control.

Yesterday, I yelled at Cas to bring me a drink and he simply rolled his eyes and kept reading his book. And yeah, okay, I was being lazy, but cut me some slack.

What's the point of demonic minions if you can't stay wrapped up in your blankets on a rainy day?

He didn't do it on purpose. In fact, he didn't even realize what he'd done. As he brushed off my command without a second thought, a pang of desperation intensified my fear.

The crack in my heart splintered further, reeling at the tangible evidence of my slipping control.

Falling in love with them was reckless.

A terrible decision.

I'd do it all over again.

"Rory!" Cas shouts, and I jolt enough to spill a small splash of coffee on my sweater. He crashes into the room, wide-eyed, and shaking a piece of paper. "I've stroked a genius!"

My eyes furrow as a long-suffering sigh precedes Amon's entrance into the living room. "What?" I finally manage.

Cas is crazed as his palms land on my cheeks, pulling my face flush to his until he's a cyclops. "I've done it!"

I shake my head, still confused. "Who's this genius you've stroked? Are you talking about Amon?"

A snort comes from Amon's perch at the door. "Classic," he mutters, looking pleased.

"No, focus! I've figured it out!"

It hits me then. "Oh, you've had a stroke of genius."

"That's what I said," he snaps, annoyed, and Amon chuckles again. "Now listen, because this is important."

Forcing myself to give him my attention, I sit up straight. "Alright, tell me."

The paper in his hand rattles as he shakes it even harder, preventing me from reading what's written. "I've found a spell! One that will allow us to stay!"

Silence fills the room as I stare at him. He shifts uncomfortably as he backs up a step, but I grab his wrist that holds the paper. "You knew."

"Wha—"

I launch myself off the couch, fury burning in my veins as I slam my palms against his chest. "You knew something was wrong, and you kept the truth from me."

Agony ripples in his eyes as he shakes his head. "Rory…"

I whirl to Amon, whose stony face is unreadable. "Did you know, too? Were you also hiding things from me?"

His throat bobs in a swallow as he takes a step forward. Until this very moment, I've never seen Amon nervous, and it stifles some of my anger. "Rory, please understand…"

"You were." The words barely make a sound as tears spring to my eyes. "You lied to me."

I try to push past him, to get away while I process, but powerful hands grab me and force me to spin into a heavy embrace. "I'm sorry," Amon whispers, placing a soft kiss on the top of my head. "Neither of us wanted to keep it from you, but the only thing it would've accomplished is worrying you."

"Please believe us," Cas begs, joining the hug as they trap me between them. "We never want to hurt you, Rory."

"How long have you known something was wrong?"

"A couple of weeks," Amon admits, and another spear of pain stings my heart. "We've been working day and night to fix it."

"And we have," Cas adds, pulling back and giving me more freedom to move. "We've figured it out."

For a second, time stands still, and I suck in a breath that I hold in my lungs. I push it out, not daring to be optimistic. "Don't get my hopes up, Cas."

He shakes his head, placing his hands on my arms and holding me in front of him. "This is real. I found it a few days ago and I've spent every free moment researching. It's legit, Rory. It will work… it has to." There's so much desperation in those last few words that it pinches my heart.

"What if it doesn't?" I ask gently, but Amon calms me with a touch.

"He's right, Rory. The research we've done shows this spell will override your original spellwork, binding the three of us. It requires the consent of all parties involved—it cannot be forced, which makes it some of the most powerful magic that exists." He pulls his lip between his teeth thoughtfully as he guides us both to the couch. "It also—"

"No!" Cas yells, slapping his hand over Amon's mouth while Amon shoots him a murderous glare. Amon stands and tosses Cas over his shoulder like he weighs nothing, chucking him outside the door and locking it. Immediately, he bursts right back through. "I've got magic, you ancient asshole! You can't lock me out."

Amon scowls as Cas stomps over to us. "We discussed this, and he will not go into this spell without knowing everything."

"Amon, please," Cas whines, and the devastation on his face gives me pause.

"What don't I know about it?" I ask, turning to Amon, who is clearly the more reliable source of information.

"Please?" Cas whispers, begging, but Amon shakes his head and turns his attention to me.

"It's a binding enchantment, which means it takes a piece of all the souls involved and merges them as one."

"I'll lose my soul?" I interrupt, eyes wide.

"No, no, nothing like that. Only a small piece, enough to allow the magic to work. But you need to understand, Rory, that this is more significant than a summoning spell. It's far more serious."

"Serious how?"

"It's permanent."

That causes me a moment's hesitation. I love Amon and Cas and can say with certainty I always will, but what if they change their minds? What if they get sick of me, especially when…

I give a tiny shake of my head as Cas wails. "You'll be bound to me forever?"

"We'll be bound to each other," Amon corrects. "Yes, forever."

I sigh as I pull my lips back in a grimace. "That would be so selfish of me," I whisper. "Binding you to me as I age. You'd be stuck with an old, wrinkly human with no way to move on if you got sick of me."

"We'd never get sick of you!" Cas declares, swooping in for a bruising kiss. "We love you."

"Right now you do. "What about in forty years?" Cas opens his mouth to argue, but I hold my hand up and shake my head. "Deny it all you want, Cas, but I have to think about this realistically, and that is a very real concern."

Amon is cautious as he takes my hand. "What Cas is desperate to avoid mentioning is that the spell also combines our life expectancy." The crease between my brows deepens as he squeezes my fingers. "Our remaining years would be combined and divided evenly among the three of us."

My eyes flare at the implication, a shockwave of information blasting through my brain in an explosive rush. "But… how long do demons live?"

Amon shrugs, still observing me with careful eyes. "Most demons survive well into their second millennia."

Two thousand years?!

The shock on my face must be obvious, because he offers me a gentle smile that's so out of character that it snaps me out of my stupor. "And… how old are you?"

"A few years past my seven hundredth birthday," Amon answers, before nodding towards Cas, who paces anxiously. "Cas is not yet three hundred."

Quick math leaves me lightheaded. "If you have thirteen hundred years left, and Cas has seventeen hundred… Guys, no. No. " Frustration crosses Amon's face as I rip my hands from his. "Absolutely not."

"Rory—" He reaches for me again, but I stand and turn away, arms crossed as my gut clenches.

My voice shakes as I say, "As a human, I have fifty years of life remaining if I'm lucky. I will not give so little and take so much from you."

Amon's heavy hand lands on my shoulder and spins me to face him. "Rory, it would allow us over a thousand years to spend together."

"At what cost?" I shout, darting my eyes towards Cas in search of backup. "I'd be stealing a third of both your lives! Lifetimes… millennia that I could never repay!"

Cas steps forward and wraps me in his arms. "This is why I wanted to wait until after the spell to tell you. How many ways can I explain that we want this? What will it take for you to trust that we're going into this with both eyes open?"

"You'd lose all those years…"

"Years we would have to live with nothing more than the memory of you. Amon and I have discussed this, Rory. That is no life, not after we've found you."

"But you'd have each other," I whisper into his chest as he hugs me tighter.

Amon sighs, cocooning both of us in his muscular arms. "Rory… I love Cas, and Cas loves me… but you're the glue that holds everything together. If we lost you…"

"We can't lose you," Cas insists.

"Don't force us to live this life without you," Amon pleads, and I tilt my head up to look into his eyes. They're solid black, the faint red glow pulsing behind them as he stares back at me. "This small amount of time we've had together… it's not enough. It will never be enough. Please, baby… please don't make us let you go."

There's that word Amon never uses.

Please .

For what seems like an eternity, we sit there wrapped up in each other, until finally, I draw in a deep breath. "Okay," I whisper.

Cas squeaks and pulls away, immediately dropping an excited, wet kiss on my lips. "You'll do it? You'll stay with us?"

"I hate the sacrifice it takes," I admit, and his sharp inhale tells me he's getting ready to argue, so I hurry to continue, "but if you're both positive it's what you want, then yes. I'll do it."

"You won't regret this! We will be such…" He leaves another noisy, smacking kiss on my lips before pulling back, grinning like a maniac. " Such good boys."

"I've heard that before," I mutter, completely wry, and Amon barks out a loud laugh. The humor fades quickly, though, as I realize the magnitude of what we're about to do. "How do we do this?"

"The spell is right here," Cas says, and we move as one, dropping onto the couch to begin.

My heart thunders as we stand around the rune on the attic floor. It's been three days since we discovered the spell, and we've spent almost every waking hour of those days preparing. After my first fiasco with spellwork, we're double and triple checking each step.

The rune needed to be adjusted. There were a few scratches in the paint that changed the shape enough to affect the magic. We suspect it's what caused the original mishap with my summoning spell, and I'm positive I've identified the culprit.

When I interrogated Shadow, she only meowed happily, refusing to admit that she was the one who scratched the rune.

Damn cat.

"Are you ready, Rory?" Amon asks me, the picture of calm on one side while Cas dances between his feet on the other. On the desk, the elixir awaits, cool enough that it no longer emits steaming wisps of smoke. Time ticks away, only minutes remaining until we speak the incantation.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" I ask for what has to be the thousandth time, and Amon silences me with a kiss.

"We've been through this. No backing down, not when we're this close." He keeps his face near mine as he begs me with his eyes. "Do not make me give you up."

My throat works in a rough swallow as I nod, and the relief that washes over him is a potent thing. "Get the potion," he instructs Cas, who hurries to grab it and place it in the center.

We stand around the outside of the rune, shaky hands entwined in a complete circle. Cas's hand squeezes mine, and I glance over and soak in his comforting, devil-may-care smile before swinging my head to look at Amon's more serious, controlled smirk.

"I love you both."

"We love you, too, Rory," Cas says, jiggling my hand as Amon nods. "Are you ready?"

"Ready as I'm going to be."

We wait until the timer on my phone goes off, and then we speak the words together. " Carmine conturbo vitam vi ligat in aevum ." A glow fills the room, not red like before, but a blinding, serene blue—like staring into the deepest part of the ocean. It brightens, skimming over my skin in a comforting warmth, and they squeeze my hands as we repeat the spell.

" Carmine conturbo vitam vi ligat in aevum. " The ground underneath our feet trembles, but it's less chaotic than before. Instead of a growl, it's a purr, like the very earth beneath us approves of what we're doing.

Three souls, three times to speak the spell.

I take a deep breath as they squeeze one last time. " Carmine conturbo vitam vi ligat in aevum ." The light flares until I have to close my eyes, and as it fades, we're left in the all-encompassing silence.

My fingers flex, relieved to feel the resistance of their hands still in mine. "Did it work?" I whisper, afraid to speak any louder than the faint breath that escapes.

Amon releases my hand, inspecting the small pot that the potion was in. A surprised, huffing laugh leaves him as he leans closer. "Come see for yourself."

I step forward, glancing into the pot to find… "A flower?"

Cas smiles as he reaches to pluck it out. "An amaranth," he corrects, twirling it between his fingers. His eyes meet Amon's, who nods. "It's a symbol for immortality."

"How do we know it worked?"

"It will have replaced our previous bindings to you," Amon explains. We've been over it a hundred times, but at the moment, my brain is nothing but mush. "This is important, Rory, so I need you to focus, alright love? Order me to do something and put all your power behind it."

I nod, taking a breath and drawing on the magic that wells deep inside me. My voice rings loud and clear as I say, "Amon, I command you to kiss me."

He rushes over and smashes his lips to mine, and my heart sinks despite the butterflies that take flight in my belly from his touch. "It didn't work," I whisper, disappointment crushing me as the realization settles in.

"It did," he whispers, a joyful laugh that I've never heard from him ringing out into the silence. "It did work, Rory!"

Cas's face turns hopeful as he edges closer. "But you kissed me," I argue, then squeal as he sweeps me into his arms and spins me in a circle.

"Only because I wanted to."

"Put me down!" I shout, slapping at his shoulders, but he only shakes his head and laughs again.

"No!" he says, and Cas bursts out laughing as relief floods into the three of us. "I don't want to and you can't make me."

My legs wrap around his waist as he holds me against him, finding my lips in a deep kiss as Cas hugs us to him. A realization hits me, and I pull away, eyes wide.

"What's wrong?" Cas asks, and I blink a few times as I stare back and forth between them.

"I have zero control over the two of you."

Amon's smile is sweet while Cas's is sly. "Of course you do, Rory," Amon says, tilting his head with an amused smirk on his lips. "Whatever you need, whenever you need it… it's yours. All you've ever had to do was ask."

"Then kiss me, you fools," I whisper, happiness filling every corner of my soul until I'm afraid I might burst from it.

"Always," they say as one, leaning in to take turns capturing my lips as we soak in the first day of our new forever.

Always.

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