Epilogue

EPILOGUE

I feel like shit. Whatever I ate the other day still doesn't agree with me. I've been puking non-stop for the past two days.

And when I'm not getting sick, I'm sleeping, cuddled up to one of my guys.

None of them are Lennox though. Just thinking of him makes me want to cry. I've cried so much over the past two weeks. Too much. It seems to be all I do.

I feel horrible because the guys hate seeing me upset, but I can't help it.

He's been gone for two weeks, and it feels like my world is slowly falling apart. I'm depressed, and so damn confused.

I don't know what happened that made him want to leave. Why won't he talk to us? Whatever it is, we can help him. Haven't we shown that no matter what life throws at us, we will always have each other?

It started around a month and a half ago. He became distant and stopped talking, for the most part. Then it was the mood swings, and the recoil when we touched him.

I asked him what was wrong, if it was PTSD from the camp. He brushed it off, said it was nothing. No one bought it.

The more we pushed, the more he fought. It got to the point where we had no idea how to talk to him. Nothing was working, no matter what we said.

Then he left, and life has been hell for me ever since. We're falling apart and I don't know how to save us. I feel helpless and useless.

Now, on top of all that, I'm sick, and I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep.

We're on the couch watching a movie when Colton's phone rings. He pulls it out and I watch as his eyes widen. "It's Lennox."

That has us all perking up. "Answer it," I urge him, adrenaline pushing my nausea to the side for the moment.

He does and puts the phone to his ear. "Len, hey, man."

We can't hear what he's saying. I tap Colt's arm. "Put it on speaker," I whisper, but Colt stands and starts talking.

"Yeah, man. What's up?" Irritation fills me as he starts to pace, brows furrowing. "Are you sure? Okay. Yeah, I can do that. When? Now? Okay, yeah, I'll be there in a few." There's a slight pause and he looks at us. "Yeah, I'll come alone."

"What did he say?" I ask as Colton hangs up.

He runs a hand through his hair.

"He said he wanted to talk to me about something. That it was important, but he insisted that I come alone. That he didn't want you guys there."

"Like I give a fuck." Mateo jumps to his feet. "We're going."

I move to sit up and feel a wave of nausea. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and get to my feet. "I'm coming too."

"No, you're not. You're still sick," Mateo growls.

"You're not my boss. I said, I'm coming," I snap back, really not in the mood to be arguing with anyone.

"I don't know," Colton says, sounding unsure. "He said to come alone."

"And what is he going to do? Run away if he sees us? I'll tackle his ass and then kick it," Mateo huffs.

"Let's go." I sigh, grabbing my sweater.

Thankfully, we drive to the gym, as I wouldn't have had the strength to walk. When we get there, my heart is pounding. I'm a mess. I miss Lennox so much and all I want to do is hold him and tell him everything is going to be okay, that he just needs to talk to us and we can fix whatever it is.

He's done so damn much to help me, why won't he let us help him?

"Just wait back there," Colton says, pointing to where he wants us to hide, while only turning on the front entrance light.

"God, this is stupid. Why do we have to hide?" Donny mutters. "What would he want to talk to just Colton about? Why not me?"

"Shut the fuck up," Mateo grumbles as we walk into the dark gym.

"No need to snap at me, dickhead," Donny hisses.

"Both of you, shut up," I grumble.

I lean against the wall and close my eyes. A few minutes later, I hear his voice.

"Hey," Lennox says. "Thanks for meeting me."

"Yeah, of course. What's up? How have you been?" Colton asks.

It's dark but I can see the outline of Donny and Mateo from the moonlight casting through the window.

"I'm not here to talk about that." Lennox sighs. He sounds tired. My eyes well with tears as I move away from the wall. I peek around the corner and my hand shoots to my mouth to cover my gasp.

He looks thin, like he hasn't eaten much. And there are dark circles under his eyes. My heart aches. I'm about to step forward and run over to him when Lennox says, "I wanted to meet to let you know that I'm leaving the team. For good."

"Lennox, what is going on?" Colton urges. "Please, whatever it is, we can help."

"Oh, please." Her voice has my stomach dropping, and I have to swallow down a wave of vomit. "There's nothing wrong with him."

Missi walks up behind Lennox. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Colton asks. Missi ignores him.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Mateo snarls from next to me.

"Lenny, you told him what you wanted to tell him. Now, come on, let's go."

"I told you to fucking wait in the car," Lennox growls.

Missi glares at him. "Don't talk to me like that," she huffs.

"I swear to God, Lennox, if you've been with the crazy bitch this whole time you've been gone, I will fucking lose my shit," Mateo roars, stepping out of the shadows.

Lennox's eyes snap over to his, and I see a flash of longing. But it's gone when he looks at Colton. "I thought I told you to come alone."

"Fuck off," Mateo says, stepping in further. "What the fuck is all this about? And why are you here with her? Rylee has been in fucking hell since you've left, and now you're all buddy buddy with this bitch."

"Listen here, you overgrown gorilla," Missi snaps. "He doesn't give a fuck about that slut. She's the past, and I'm his future."

"What kind of delulu pills have you been taking?" Donny asks, stepping out into the light.

Lennox shoots Colton another glare.

"I haven't taken anything." Missi gives Donny a slow grin that makes my chest feel like it's been filled with cement. "I know I'm his future."

"Enlighten me, why do you think that?" Mateo scoffs. "You're just a batshit crazy bitch who can't accept the fact that no one fucking likes you."

"You might think that's true." Missi rolls her eyes. "But, I also happen to be the mother of his child."

The whole room goes quiet and my eyes widen. "You're lying!" I shout as I step into the room.

"Rylee." Lennox's eyes fill with horror.

"God, you really are crazy. Coming up with bullshit stories." Mateo shakes his head. "You really need to be locked up."

"I'm not lying!" Missi snaps. "Lenny, baby, tell them."

Lennox looks like he's going to puke but says, "It's true. She's pregnant."

"And it's yours," Missi adds.

Lennox swallows hard. "And it's mine."

Everything that occurs next happens in the blink of an eye, and I feel like my whole world is crashing down around me.

I feel like I'm underwater, my whole body going numb, like I'm in a mind haze. I stand there frozen as Mateo lunges forward, tackling Lennox to the ground. He starts pounding his fist into his face and I'm unable to speak, to move.

Everything sounds muffled until a slow ringing becomes loud, and then, like a rubber band, all the sounds come crashing into me at once.

Missi is screaming and crying, Mateo is shouting and swearing, and Lennox just lays there and takes every hit that's sent his way.

I can't breathe. I need to get out of here. Turning around, I race through the gym and out the back exit.

I run until my lungs burn, my eyes go blurry, and I feel like I'm going to black out. Stumbling to a stop, I lean over and puke in a bush. Wave after wave hits me until there's nothing left in my stomach.

Once I'm done, I realize I'm not far from the Cheer house, so I stumble the rest of the way.

My breathing is labored, my mind is heavy. I'm disoriented as I make it into the house.

"Rylee?" I hear Serenity's voice.

"Rylee, what's wrong?" It's Trevor speaking to me now.

Ignoring them, I make my way to the top of the stairs, heading straight into the bathroom.

With shaking hands, I lock the door and turn on the shower, needing to drown out the silence.

I think I'm in shock. I must be because I'm not crying, I'm not screaming. I know my heart is shattered into a million pieces right now, but thankfully, reality hasn't fully kicked in yet. No, I'm most definitely in shock.

My gaze lands on myself in the mirror. I look like I've seen a ghost, with my eyes wide and wild.

They snap down to the cupboard door under the sink and I drop to my knees. I dig around until I find what I'm looking for.

Pulling my pants down, I sit on the toilet and pee.

When I'm done, I place the thing on the counter and stare blankly at the wall while I wait.

I've suspected this for a while, that it could be a possibility, but with everything going on with Lennox, I didn't have time to think about it. I didn't want to think about it, because if it's true, that would make everything even more fucked up and complicated.

"Rylee!" Trevor bangs on the door. "Baby, open up. Please."

How long has he been out there? I kind of zoned out.

Ignoring the sound, I look over and pick it up.

My name continues to be called, as more people bang on the door. I hear Mateo threaten to kick the door down, but I don't say anything. I don't let them know I'm okay either.

I'm not. Because in my hand is a test… A test with two little pink lines.