Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

I snuggled in the bed next to Jax, tracing my fingers over a series of red marks on his shoulder. "What happened here?"

"Just some scratches from being in the woods," he said without looking back at me.

The mental image of him racing around the woods in wolf form flashed in my mind and made my stomach ache with nervous energy. While we'd been in the shower, he'd said he was going to fall asleep and wake up next to me every morning and night, but had that just been hyperbole? Something he wanted, but couldn't really do? I was too afraid to ask. Right in that moment, I just wanted to believe that he was back for good. That we'd go back to our lives the way they'd been before he'd taken off to explore what it meant for him to be a wolf.

Jax let out a contented sigh and explained. "We were clearing a walking path in the woods behind the winery when a limb fell and grazed me."

"So you weren't chasing an elk through the woods in wolf form?"

He let out a bark of laughter. "No. I never was much of a hunter. My new status hasn't changed that. Though I did chase off a coyote one night."

The unease in my gut started to dissipate. "So no venison for you?"

"Nope."

"That's good to hear." I continued to trace his muscles, delighting when gooseflesh popped out over his skin. "Do you want to talk about why you're here and not with the pack?"

Jax was silent for so long, I was convinced that he wasn't going to answer me at all. But then he rolled over and cupped my cheek with his palm. "In the beginning, when I went out there, I needed to learn what it meant to be a wolf."

When he didn't elaborate, I asked, "Did you find out?"

"Yes." He glanced away, staring off into the darkness. When he finally met my gaze again, he said, "All of the other wolves in the pack were looking for family. Acceptance. A place to belong. It was as if the moment they were bitten, they found themselves feeling out of place in the lives they'd built before the bite. For a while, I thought that was to be my fate, too. As a wolf, I felt… different."

"Different how?" My heart was beating rapidly, and I was terrified that this might end up being a goodbye instead of the homecoming I thought it was.

"Like I no longer knew who I was. I suppose I was trying to figure that out."

I placed my hand over his and squeezed. "Did you?"

He let out a humorless chuckle. "Yeah. I figured out that I felt different because I am different. I eat more, sleep less, and feel claustrophobic if I spend too much time indoors. You know what's not different?"

"What?"

"My desire to be here. To be working with my hands, building things. I don't feel the need to belong to a pack. I'm not looking to find a new family. Mine is right here… with you."

My lips twitched into a pleased smile. "So this means you're here for good?"

He nodded. "If that's okay with you."

"More than okay." I leaned in and kissed him softly. "I might never let you leave again now that I have you back."

He laughed softly. "Are you going to chain me in the basement?"

"Only on the full moon," I said with a wink.

His chuckle turned into full laughter. "I'd be concerned if you actually had a basement."

I laughed along with him, and when we finally sobered, he said, "Seriously though. I will likely meet up with the pack once a month or so for a run when I need to shift. But otherwise, I'm not at all interested in being a regular member of the pack. My place is here."

"I can work with that." I cuddled in close, and when Jax wrapped his arms around me, I felt whole for the first time in weeks.

I woke to the delicious scent of coffee and chocolate.

"Morning, Sunshine," Jax said, holding my favorite mug out to me.

"You're a god," I said, pushing myself up and taking the coffee mug. After one sip, I let out a moan of pleasure. "I think I could get used to this."

"So could I," he said, his gaze traveling down to my breasts that were barely covered with the quilt.

I smirked. "That's the other way I like to be woken up."

"I know. And if I hadn't woken up at dawn, I might just have taken that route, but instead, I decided to let you sleep while I went out for these." He produced an open pastry box that was full of chocolate croissants.

"You went out already?" I asked, shocked. "I didn't even hear you leave."

"You were pretty out of it." He kissed me on the forehead. "The fog is already burning off. When you're done there, would you mind taking a walk with me down on the beach?"

It was something we'd done regularly before he'd taken off to figure out how to be a wolf. The fact that he wanted to fall right back into old habits made me grin. "Absolutely. Give me about ten minutes, and I'll be ready to go."

"Take your time. I'll be in the living room giving Minx the attention she deserves."

At the sound of her name, the little dog came running into the room and started barking madly at Jax.

"Cool your jets, little one," he said softly. "I'm coming."

Minx immediately stopped barking and stared up at him with adoration.

"I feel exactly the same way, Minx," I told her. "Enjoy him while you can because as soon as I'm dressed and ready, he's all mine again."

Minx let out a little growl.

Jax shook his head as he scooped her up. "None of that, now," he said to the dog. "Let's go get you a treat while your aunt Marion finishes her coffee."

The dog snuggled into his chest, and all I could do was shake my head in amusement. Jax really had been missed, and although neither Minx nor I were wolves, we definitely considered him part of our pack.