Chapter 20

Priscilla

M eli meets us at home. I realize I’m beginning to think of it as that, and not Rage’s home. I only hope that after we’ve had our talk then it will still be my home. From what he said in front of my mother I think he has an idea what happened and realizes that I wasn’t lying to him. Meli not only brought food but offered to take Mia for the night. I guess Venom had filled her in on what happened, and she knew that we needed to have a talk in private.

I almost dread being alone with Rage because that means we’ll have to have the conversation I’ve been avoiding, the one where I explain why I ran off the first time and what happened with Ashton. How I thought Ashton was Mia’s father but now I’m pretty sure that Rage is.

Rage locks up the house, dims the lights and brings us out some wine. It was a sweet gesture, considering he prefers whiskey or beer. We sit on the sofa together and an awkward silence spins out between us.

Finally, Rage asks, “How are you holding up? I know today must have been difficult. First, we got off on the wrong foot—I was an asshole and I’m so sorry. Then you ended up having to deal with your parents and Ashton. I will never forgive that bastard for scaring Mia. It must have felt like the shittiest day of your life.”

I take a sip of my wine and choose my words carefully. “I have a lot of awful days to compare today to and to be honest, this wasn’t my worst day by far.”

“If you want to talk, I’d like to be the one you confide all your secrets to, Prissy girl.”

“You would think that my worst day ever was getting shot by my husband but that pales in comparison to the day my parents told me you died. They said you died in a violent head-on collision with a big rig. The thought of you suffering and dying was the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I remember screaming at them that it wasn’t true. There was no mention of it in the papers or on the news, so to my mind it didn’t happen.”

“How long before they popped up with that headstone?” he asks curiously.

“It was when I came home for winter break. I’d just found out I was pregnant,” I pause. I’m jumping ahead with the story. “My second worst day was a week before I left for college. I’d been at a friend’s house—Jennifer if you remember her? Anyway, I was coming home and suddenly I got dragged into a dark alleyway. I tried to fight but I couldn’t and when I saw his face I realized it was Ashton. I kind of knew his younger brother Conrad, as we shared a couple of classes, but Ashton always scared me. I didn’t know what to do, I told my parents what happened, saying I needed to go to the police. They told me that no one would believe me and that they’d sort it all out. I was so ashamed, I didn’t know how to tell you and I’m so sorry, Rage, but that’s why I left for college without saying goodbye. I knew you’d be distraught, but I’d seen what Ashton was capable of and I didn’t want you to get into any more trouble.”

Rage is looking at me intently. He reaches out and takes my hand, the feeling of his warm fingers stroking mine grounds me, and I continue, “I blocked your number. I hate that I did it, it was cowardly, but I couldn’t bear hearing your voice and having to explain. I tried to put everything behind me but then I started getting sick and I realized I was pregnant. I phoned my parents and told them, I said it was Ashton’s because we’d always used condoms. I told them about you, about how I was in love with you and that I wanted to come home and talk, to see if you’d forgive me. They said I shouldn’t waste my life on someone like you. I came home and—” my voice catches and I can feel the hot tears run down my face.

“You don’t have to continue,” Rage says softly. “I have an idea what happened next.”

I wipe my eyes, “Even though my parents thought Ashton was Mia’s father they told me to tell everyone it was you. That was the official story. Conrad took in this poor pregnant woman and raised her kid. He wasn’t abusive to me, though I think he resented the fact that he’d been forced into the marriage just as much as I had. When Ashton was in hospital things weren’t too bad, we weren’t exactly a happy family and he never acted as a father to Mia, but when Ashton was released last year, he changed. I think he realized that he had to keep his brother away from us. I thought that Conrad didn’t know the whole truth, at least about Mia, but I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what he thought. I only know that Ashton thought we were his.”

“So when did you start thinking she might be mine?” Rage asks. I realize that he’s trying to move away from Ashton as a way to make this easier for me.

“When Meli first saw Mia, she asked me—remember when she rushed to the bathroom on that first visit? She confronted me, I denied it, but it got me thinking. I’d always wished that Mia was yours so I’d have something to remember you by. I need you to know, I always loved my daughter, even if her father was that monster.”

Rage’s hand comes up and strokes my cheek, “She’s an awesome kid. I don’t see how anyone couldn’t love her and want to be her father.”

“I wish you were,” I say, my voice thick with tears.

“Darlin’ I’m her father. I don’t care what the DNA says,” Rage’s voice is hoarse, and I see something dark flash over his face.

“What is it?” I ask.

“This morning, it was when I was dying Mia’s hair and I caught sight of us in the mirror. Seeing us that close I couldn’t ignore the resemblance. When I asked her when her birthday was and she told me, I did the math. Obviously then I didn’t know what had happened with Ashton, but before I went to the clubhouse, I took a sample of her hair and mine for a DNA test. I wanted to know. I’m sorry I went behind your back, Prissy. I should have just talked to you and asked.”

I turn to look at him, “I’m as guilty as you are. When I started having suspicions, I should have said something. But I was afraid of how you might react. I’d overheard you telling that nurse that there was nothing going on between us and you weren’t the settling down type.”

“That’s just me and my big mouth. It’s true, after you left me, I didn’t want to get into another relationship. At that moment I still thought you’d ran off, I didn’t know what your parents had told you.”

“I guess that makes sense,” I say.

“I feel terrible about believing the letter your parents gave to me. I guess you were at college when I kept coming to your house. They told me over and over again for a month that you didn’t want me. They finally gave me the letter and it crushed my soul. I thought you were my forever girl.”

“I hate what my parents did to us, Rage. If I could go back in time, I’d never give up on us.”

His steady gaze never falters, and he takes my hands in his. “Look Prissy, the whole reason why I turned Mariam down and a dozen more just like her over the years is that they all pale by comparison to you. You were my one, Priscilla. If I couldn’t have you, I didn’t want to settle down with any woman. I was only ever going to be the settling down type for you, Prissy girl.”

I launch myself at him and wrap my arms around his neck. Rage laughs and pulls me into his lap.

“I love you, Rage. I’ve been so lost and miserable all these years without you.”

He responds playfully, “Good thing you had a little mini me, to remember me by.”

I tear up, “Mia looks so much like you and even her mannerisms are similar to yours. But what if she isn’t?”

He brings his hands up to cup my face, “If you would have me, I’m gonna be the best damn dad that little girl ever had. Doesn’t matter what the test says. I loved having you both in my life before I knew she might be mine, so it’s not gonna change a damn thing.”

I feel my entire body relax.

He leans forward to give me a kiss. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever truly loved. You were beautiful, sweet, and opened your heart to me just when I needed it the most. I never got past losing you, but I loved you enough to let you leave me if you thought it would bring you a better life. I’m still in awe of you for preferring my small house to the mansions your family and the Whitmores call home.”

“I never liked the trapping of wealth, sure having all that stuff makes life easier, but what really matters is love. And there was none of that. Yet seeing you, your club, how you are with Ven and Meli, that’s love and that’s more important than anything money could buy. And I love that you have your club brothers backing you up and keeping you safe.”

“Keeping us safe, you mean.”

“Yeah,” I tell him. “I was nice to have your club brothers show up to help tip the balance in our favor. I can’t thank them enough.”

“I’ll be sure to give them your thanks. But now I want to talk about our future.”

I shake my head adamantly. “I’ve already decided I’m not leaving your house ever again. Everything I want and need is right here. If you want me to leave, you’re gonna have to throw me out and lock the door.”

“I would never ask you to leave, Prissy. In fact, I want you to marry me. It’s not the romantic proposal I wanted to do, but if today has taught me anything it’s that you have to say what’s on your mind now. You can’t park it away for another day, because you never know what’s coming. When I got home and found your note, I thought you’d gone again, that me being an asshole this morning had ruined what we’d been building. I’m not risking that ever again, will you marry me Prissy girl?”

My breath gets caught in my throat and I honestly can’t believe he just proposed. He can see that I’m stunned, so he tries to smooth things over.

“We can have a long engagement if you want. I don’t care how long it takes us to get to the altar. I just want you to wear my ring and know that we’re on the right track to get to the altar.”

He sweeps his hand inside of his cut and pulls out a very pretty marquise cut diamond engagement ring. The stone is smaller than most, but the design is elegant and just my style. I never liked large ostentatious pieces of jewelry. I hold out my hand, let him slip it on my finger and admire how it looks on my hand. “It’s so pretty. Where did you get it?”

“I’ve had it put away for eleven long years. It’s the one I bought to propose to you when we were eighteen, innocent, and didn’t know how cruel the world could be. I’d planned on doing it before you went off to college, but…”

His words trail off.

Our talk has been an emotional rollercoaster, and this last bit of sweetness causes the long-awaited tears to flow like nobody’s business. He quickly dries the tears from my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. “Don’t cry, Prissy girl. From now on I’m gonna make sure that nothing bad ever happens to you.”

“Or our daughter, right?”

He nods and pulls me close against his chest. “Of course Mia too. I’ll rip off anyone’s head who gives her a hard time.”

I nod, fighting back the tears. “You were pretty brutal to Ashton earlier.”

“He fucked with the wrong man. I’m not going to let that ignorant asshole steal my woman and my child. He’s lucky my club officers got there to pull me off him because I was dead set on beating the everloving shit out of him. The thought of him laying his hands on you against your will made me mental.”

“What’s going to happen to him?” I ask.

“My club brothers will decide. But if I have any say in the matter, I know what I want done with him. But whatever happens, he’s never gonna be a problem for you again.”