Chapter 14

Priscilla

I sit there in bed staring at Rage’s back as he practically stalks out of the room. I don’t know what I did for him to be so cold to me. I thought things were going really well between the two of us. So well, that I was thinking it might turn into something long term or maybe even end up with us living happily ever after in his spacious cottage.

Lat night was absolutely unbelievable. Sex with Rage had always been phenomenal, but he blew my mind with one orgasm after another. He was insatiable and kept waking up ready for more. And God knows after years of no sex, I was more than up for it.

Now this morning, it’s like he doesn’t want to know me. I try to logic my way through this situation. Maybe sex with the one who got away was all he ever wanted, and I just imagined all the warmth and affection that led up to last night.

I had been fantasizing about telling him that Mia could be his daughter but now, I’m back to thinking that it wouldn’t be a very good idea. Maybe he’s decided that he doesn’t want to be a family man and after a morning of looking after the girls he’s gotten tired of it? My heart aches at the thought that he was just being nice to Mia to get me in bed or because he saw me as a charity case.

Coming to my feet, I let the sheet fall to the bed behind me and walk to the bathroom. I feel numb as I turn on the shower and walk through my morning routine. Rage gave me fifteen minutes, so I get to get my ass moving or the girls will be unsupervised. I dry off wondering if he sees sleeping in as dumping the kids on him. The way he told me that I needed to get up and take care of the kids supports the idea that maybe I’ve allowed Mia to approach him too frequently and that we’ve been relying on him too much. I should have gotten up at the crack of dawn because I know the girls do. My heart sinks, even if Rage didn’t turn out to be Mia’s biological father, I thought we had a chance. But I was wrong.

When I get dressed and pad down to the kitchen, I see he made a big breakfast with bacon, eggs, biscuits, and most importantly coffee. I make myself a plate of food with what’s left on the big platter in the center of the table and stack all the rest of the dishes in the sink to soak. Despite my depressed mood I find that I can eat. I’m eating the last of my breakfast when Mia comes into the room and exclaims, “Look at my hair, isn’t it awesome! She spins around letting me see it from all sides.

“Your hair is gorgeous. Did you thank Rage for all the nice things he did for you this weekend?”

She preens a bit. “I sure did. He told me to start thinking about what I want to do for my birthday.”

I freeze in place and my stomach drops. “Did he ask about your birthday, or did you volunteer that information?”

She frowns at me as though I’m harshing her vibe. “He asked me how old I am and said we could do something fun for my birthday. I’m not gonna ask him for expensive things just because he’s rich.”

“He’s a paramedic, Mia. Most first responders aren’t rich. They work hard for their money, so we shouldn’t expect him to throw lavish parties for our birthdays.”

“He asked about my real dad too, I told him he was dead, like you said.”

I’m not paying a bit of attention to anything Mia says after that because suddenly I know all the way down to my bones why Rage was acting so distant and weird this morning. It’s because he’s done the math and realized that he could be Mia’s father. When I married Conrad, I did what my parents told me and said that Raymond was Mia’s father and that he was dead. That was the lie that we all lived under. I hadn’t told Mia anything about her real father other than that he was dead. I didn’t want to build up the fantasy of Raymond in her head, especially not when I knew it wasn’t true. But I’m guessing that, combined with her age has gotten him thinking. My heart is racing, this is the last thing I wanted to happen. I’d decided last night that I’d tell him my worries—that I honestly had believed her father was Ashton, and I still wasn’t sure. I was ready to have that talk with him, but I hadn’t wanted him to find out this way.

“Sweetie, why don’t you go tell your friends that it’s time to pack up. Their families are going to be here soon to pick them up.”

She complains about the weekend getting cut short all the way to the door, but they all tromp back in and up the stairs a few minutes later. I quickly send a text for their moms to pick them up because an emergency just came up.

Then I sit at the table staring into my empty coffee cup as the reality of my situation hits me like a tsunami. Everything was going fine, he was trusting and loving me again until I blew it by not telling him about him possibly being Mia’s father.

Shit, shit, shit. Standing up, I start pacing. Feeling like a queen of fools for ruining the best relationship of my life twice, I tear up. Rage hates liars and disloyal people. He always has and always will. I knew that about him and now, I’ve messed everything up.

Pacing back and forth, I rack my brain trying to figure out a way out of this situation for us. The urge to run is strong, but running away never solved anything. If I hadn’t run off after I’d been attacked by Ashton, then Rage and I might have been living our happily ever after for all these years.

My eyes go to the coffee table, and I see the cellphone that Rage brought over from my house. I hadn’t bothered switching it on, partly because there was no one to call, and partly because I assumed it had no charge. Almost as a distraction, I switch it on and see it spring to life. There’s a bunch of missed calls from my mother. We hadn’t spoken for years, I probably should have gotten in touch after Conrad shot me, but with everything else going on in my life it didn’t seem important. My parents hadn’t cared much about me, practically selling me off to the highest bidder and living off a pay-off for their silence—so the fact I’d almost been killed by the man they had me marry wouldn’t have been much of a concern.

However, despite my better judgment I call the number.

“Priscilla! Your father and I have been trying to contact you. Why haven’t you been picking up?”

“I guess you heard about Conrad.”

“His father has been calling us nonstop, telling us that you’re the reason he wound up dead.”

“Why did you tell me Ray had died,” I say, ignoring her crazy accusations.

“What?” my mother’s voice rises an octave.

“Ray, you told me he was dead, you showed me his grave. Why would you lie about something like that?”

“That’s in the past, but you’re coming with us now.” My mother’s voice was stern. I’d heard that tone before, it was the tone she used when they told me I had no choice but to marry Conrad.

“You’re on the East Coast. Besides, I’m staying with Raymond,” I say. Though I wonder how long I’ll be staying with him. I only hope that he’ll forgive me when I tell him the truth.

“Your father and I are in Las Salinas. We had some urgent business to deal with. We need to talk, I know it’s been years but we’re still your parents.”

My throat closes up, all I want to do is talk to Rage, to sort out this misunderstanding. To find out the truth, but maybe now is my chance to ask my parents why they married me off, why they cared so little that they’d send me to live with the family of my rapist. Why they happily lived on a monthly payout from my attacker’s father.

“I don’t have a car, I can’t pick you up,” I say. I could use Rage’s pickup truck, but the way he was when he left this morning, I don’t want to do anything to anger him further. He might accuse me of stealing it.

“Don’t you worry about that. Share your location with me and we’ll swing by and pick you up,” my mother replies.

Knowing that I’m between a rock and hard place, I swallow my pride and tell her, “Yes, ma’am.”

I’ve gone from fierce and strong back to being a doormat with alarming speed. It’s what makes me realize that I was never strong. It was the false sense of security of having Rage at my side that made me feel that way.

Rage has a kind of inner strength that I will never have. He’s brash, speaks his mind, and skillfully uses humor to drive his point home. He’s an upstanding member of his community and has not only managed to build a life for himself, he’s been adopted into a wonderful family that’s filled with love. Sure, Meli may be cunning and outspoken but deep down inside, she’s good people. Then there’s his club. He’s a good brother who is highly valued by his club. That’s why they pulled together to help him with all the problems I brought to his doorstep.

Even though he’s kind and empathetic, he doesn’t tolerate fools, liars, or manipulators. Neither Rage, nor the other people in his life are going to forgive me for not coming clean about Mia possibly being his child.

***

Frannie stops by to pick up both the girls, which isn’t all that surprising, since Amy and Louisa are practically joined at the hip. I make nice and cut the small talk short. Mia is standing on the stairs staring at my exchange with Frannie. When I turn, she speaks in a quiet monotone, “Did I say something wrong to Rage? He left really quickly.”

I walk over to the bottom of the stairs, and we walk up to the second floor together. I put my hands on her shoulders and turn her around so I can look her in the eyes. “No sweetheart, everything will be fine. But Grandma and Grandpa are coming, they want to talk to us about something.”

“Grandma’s dead” Mia says looking confused.

“Not Grandma Whitmore, I mean my parents.”

“But we never see them,” Mia hugs her toy cat tighter. It seems in this moment she’s gone from a confident tween into a scared little girl.

“They want to talk to me about something,” I tell her.

Actually I want to talk to them. In the weeks that I’ve been with Rage I’ve grown a backbone. I want to know what happened all those years ago, why they did this to me.

Mia looks at me with her big green eyes, Rage’s green eyes, and I take her hand. “Mia, I need to talk to you about your father. Your real father.”

“Daddy’s dead.”

I let out a sigh, this probably wasn’t the time or the place. And ideally, I’d want to know for sure before saying anything, but Mia has clearly picked up on the fact that something is wrong, “I think Rage might be your daddy.”

Her eyes go wide, “Really?”

I nod, “After we’ve been to see your grandparents, tonight Rage and I need to have a talk, all of us do.”

“But he’s my daddy?” she asks.

“I don’t know for sure sweetheart, that’s what we need to talk about,” Mia is too young to understand everything that happened, and she’s too young to be told about Ashton or how I ended up marrying Conrad.

“I’d like him to be my daddy, he’d be the best daddy in the world,” she says as she squeezes her stuffed toy tightly.

He would.

This child of mine has always looked younger than her true age. And right now she seems more fragile and vulnerable than ever. I don’t think I look any more put together as I wait for my parents to arrive. From today, my life is never going to be the same as it was, I only hope that Rage will be there at my side throughout whatever’s coming.