28

28

Cassandra

We don’t sleep much that night. Every time we start to drift off, it’s as if a frenzy overtakes us and then we’re at it again, burning through Apollo’s condom stash. The way this man looks at me… Even as pleasure washes away my thoughts again and again, I can’t quite shake the fear that this is the best it will ever be.

That I’ll never be with someone who touches me the way Apollo does.

That I’ll never find someone who sees me the way Apollo does.

The temptation to stay in this bedroom and hide away from the world is almost overwhelming. He feels it, too. It’s there in the almost desperate way he reaches for me upon waking, flipping me onto my stomach and pleasuring me with his mouth until I’m begging him to fuck me. This time, there’s no slow teasing or ramping up. He barely pauses long enough to roll on another condom before he grabs my hips and fucks me like he can’t get close enough. I love every moment of it, even if I can’t fully escape the specter of what comes next.

Not even coming around his cock enough times to lose count can fully banish the threat of the future.

Or the memory of what happened in the library.

He finishes with a curse, grinding into me hard enough to shove me over the edge into yet another orgasm. I sob into the sheets. It’s too much and yet at the same time I’m terrified that it will never be enough. Not enough pleasure, not enough memories to hold back the tide of time. Years passing have a way of dulling the edges, both good and bad. I know that better than most.

I will never forget Apollo, but will I always remember the feeling of his fingers imprinted on my hips? Will time eventually smudge the exact way he looks at me, as if the sun rises and sets at my pleasure?

I’m terrified of the answer.

He presses a kiss to the back of my neck and disappears just long enough to take care of the condom. He gathers me in his arms the moment he returns to bed. All I want to do is accept the comfort of his presence, his body, his control. The world seems so far away right now, and a selfish part of me wants to keep it that way.

We can’t keep doing this, though. We have to talk about the party. About Pan. “Of everyone here, why attack Pan? Or make Atalanta go missing, if that’s what has actually happened. Or threaten me? Why target the plus-ones? That’s what I can’t make sense of.”

“I can’t make sense of it, either. Pan is well-liked and there’s no strategic reason to attack him. It’s possible he has dangerous secrets, but I don’t know why the attack would happen here, of all places.”

That’s the kicker. The probability of Pan’s attacker not being a guest is so low as to be nonexistent. Looking at it from that angle is the wrong choice; I’m sure of it. “It has to be someone here. Maybe Minos wants the Dryad?”

“Everyone wants the Dryad.” Apollo sounds so frustrated, I want to hug him. “It seems heavy-handed, but I suppose that could be part of it. Pan has no family, so if he dies without a will, the Dryad will go up for auction. But that’s a lot of ifs, and even if it went to auction, there are people with much deeper pockets in this city. Dionysus, for one, would be the first in line and he can afford it.”

I think about how sick he looked after the attack. Surely… I sit up. “Do you think Minos is offering to get his hands dirty so the party guests don’t have to?” It seems a reach when the Thirteen are more than capable of murder on their own, but this Zeus is not the same as the last one. This Zeus wants stability, and you don’t get stability in a time like this by murdering for profit.

I don’t like thinking about Dionysus agreeing to that sort of bargain, but he’s one of the Thirteen. I can’t afford to assume anything.

“It’s…possible. Gods, I hadn’t even considered that it might be an option.” Apollo frowns, obviously thinking hard. “But that doesn’t explain the threats against you.”

“Right, but you’re not here to bargain with Minos. You’re here to investigate him.” The more I talk my way through it, the more sense it starts to make. “Maybe he thought if he threatened me, it would distract you from your task.”

He glares at the ceiling. “He wasn’t entirely wrong, if that’s the case.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “But what about Atalanta? She’s from a powerful family, but she doesn’t have any holdings like the Dryad.”

I sigh. “I don’t know. Maybe she does have something Artemis wants, but we just don’t know about it.” That’s the problem. Even with the progress we’ve made, we just don’t know enough. “But that would at least explain why none of them are worried about being targeted—because they brought the targets with them.” This theory doesn’t apply to Charon and Eurydice, but they’re here for the same reason we are. To find answers.

I wish I could say the same for Aphrodite and Adonis, but as much as I like her, the fact remains that she’s a Kasios, and that family has more than proven that they will trample people to reach their aims. I’m not entirely certain what purpose removing Adonis would serve, but I can’t ignore the possibility that she’s more than ruthless enough to make that call.

I drag my fingers through my hair. “I need to try to talk to Hermes again. Out of everyone here, she seems to have some idea of what’s actually going on. I don’t know if she’ll tell me the truth, but I have a better shot than anyone else.” I’m nearly certain Tyche never actually arrived at this party. I don’t know her well, but she’s the mischievous youngest daughter of one of the legacy families. She’s not in line to inherit and she’s well-liked by most everyone.

Except Tyche’s parents, who don’t like that she spends time with Hermes.

Surely Hermes wouldn’t hurt the woman to punish her parents?

No. I’m right. I know I am. Hermes can be just as ruthless as the rest of the Thirteen, and even cruel when it suits her, but she wouldn’t hurt a friend just to punish an enemy.

Would she?

“You have a better chance at getting information out of her than I do.” He makes a face. “Though after yesterday, I don’t like the idea of letting you out of my sight.”

I don’t really relish the idea of wandering this house without him at my side, either. “It’s the only way. She won’t talk to me frankly if you’re there.” She might not even do it if we’re alone, but…I have to try. And not only to fulfill my side of the bargain with Zeus. What happened with Pan yesterday more than proved that Hermes’s warning has merit. Even if we don’t fully understand why Pan was attacked, we don’t know who did it or if they intend to strike again. That means Apollo is potentially in danger as well.

I have to keep reminding myself that he was moving through Olympus’s shark-infested waters years before I ever came into his life, and no one stuck a literal knife in his ribs during that time. That they’re unlikely to do it now, even if Minos is an unknown factor. Apollo doesn’t actually need me to watch his back. The only real value I have is that I’ve spent so much time on the sidelines, studying the powerful in order to escape their wrath, that I have insight into people’s motivations that he doesn’t. If it comes down to a fight of any sort, I’m worse than useless.

Apollo does not need me.

The thought should reassure me, but it feels strangely like a lie. “Please be careful,” I blurt out.

His dark brows draw together. “I won’t be reckless, but I don’t know that I can promise to be careful. If an opportunity comes to get the information we need, then I have to take it.”

I know that. Of course I know that. But the panic bleating inside me won’t listen. “Is Olympus really worth your life?”

He smooths my hair back. Anyone else would attempt to soothe me with meaningless reassurances. Not Apollo. He’s oh so serious as he holds my gaze. “You don’t think highly of the Thirteen, and with good reason. But the fact remains that we work for Olympus’s benefit.” He clears his throat at my look of disbelief. “Some of us work for Olympus’s benefit. You might not like the method, but the people of this city are protected, both upper city and lower. No one goes hungry. Our crime rates are lower than any city of comparable size.”

“Those things might be true, but it’s not the full picture.” I shake my head. “We both know that crimes committed by the powerful get swept under the rug.”

He opens his mouth, seems to reconsider, and finally nods. “Fair point. It’s not a perfect system, and I’d be lying if I said it was.” He sighs. “I didn’t take the title of Apollo to make a grab for power. That may have been what my family wanted, but I knew there might be sacrifices involved with being a member of the Thirteen. I will do whatever is required to keep this city and all the people in it safe.”

The answer is so perfectly Apollo. Of all the people who currently hold titles for selfish reasons, he would be the one who saw the title as a custodianship instead of a throne elevating him over the heads of all those lesser.

I love you.

I clamp my lips together to keep the words from springing free. It’s getting harder and harder not to tell him how I feel, no matter how selfish and unfair it would be to confess. There’s nothing else to do but get ready and carry on with the mission. As tempting as it is to try to seduce him into staying in bed with me and pretending the rest of the party doesn’t exist…it’s impossible.

Everything about this situation is impossible.

“I’ll take a shower, then.”

He stops me with his hand on my shoulder. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

I force a smile. “And what about you?” The risk to Minos’s other party guests might be nonexistent if my theory is correct, but the same can’t be said for Apollo. He’s a threat and Minos knows it.

Apollo shrugs. “Like I said, risk goes with the territory.”

We could go round and round like this for hours, but nothing will change. I’m leaving. He’s staying, noble white knight that he is. It’s why I love him, even if right now I wish he’d be selfish for once, look to his own interests instead of Olympus’s.

But even if I was staying, this would never work in the long term. He’s at home swimming in waters deep enough to drown me.

I head for the bathroom and take my time getting ready. Normally, my morning rituals and beauty regimen make me feel better and more centered by the end of the process. It’s the kind of mindless repetition that usually allows my brain to work out problems the same way that driving is supposed to.

Instead, I seem to blink and I’m ready. There’s no peace to be found. I glance at the bathroom door, worry gnawing in my stomach. When I agreed to come here, I honestly thought the only thing in danger would be my heart. I didn’t expect actual assault.

I’m doing this for Alexandra.

On impulse, I grab my phone and dial my sister. The phone rings several times before clicking over to voicemail. Her happy voice says, “You’ve reached Alexandra Gataki. I’m probably in class or working right now, but if you leave a message, I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day!”

I sigh and hang up. She’s working her ass off in order to pave the way to a better future. I can do no less than the same.

I open the door to find Apollo on the bed, working on his laptop. He looks so deliciously mussed with the sheets gathered around his waist and his black hair on end from me running my fingers through it. He looks up and smiles as if just the sight of me is enough to make his day.

It could be like this…

I ignore the little voice inside my head and move to get dressed. I feel a little shaky, as if the ground is shifting beneath my feet, so I choose the dress I’d saved for a time when I needed the emotional boost. My favorite. It’s a deep silver that’s almost black, and I immediately feel better when I have it on. I learned long ago that clothing can change a person’s perspective, both the one I have of myself and that of others who look at me. It’s a different kind of armor than Ares’s soldiers wear but it serves much the same purpose, even if the weapons being sharpened by the upper crust in Olympus are words and ambition instead of guns and knives.

It won’t protect me against either, though.

True to form, Apollo doesn’t take long to shower and get ready. He sweeps a glance over me as he steps out of the bathroom. “You look devastating.”

“Thanks.” I check my lipstick in the mirror and pull on my heels. I can’t look at him directly because if I do, I’m going to touch him, and if I touch him, I can’t account for what happens next. It’s tempting to do it anyway, to prolong this relative peace when it’s only the two of us, but I manage to restrain myself. “Is Hector still working through the emails?”

“Yes. He’s managed to eliminate everything that definitely wasn’t useful and now he’s wading through the rest.” He finishes buttoning his shirt. “It takes time to track down all the threads, but he should have an update later today.”

“Good.”

He offers his arm. “Shall we?”

Downstairs, most of the rest of the guests have beaten us to the table. The only two spots left are between Hermes and Pandora. I’m surprised when Apollo presses a hand to the small of my back and urges me to take the seat next to Hermes. Then again, is it really that surprising? From the start, he’s aimed to protect me. Though from the beaming smile Pandora gives him as he takes his seat, maybe he’ll be more successful at easing her into conversation than I would have been.

Then she turns it on me.

She reminds me a bit of Persephone Dimitriou, at least before she ran off and fell in love with Hades and shed the happy princess persona. Except…more. Having this woman smile at me is like getting a straight shot of the midsummer sun. I can only blink in response.

“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” She reaches across Apollo with a charmingly apologetic wince. “I’m Pandora.”

“Cassandra.” Her palm is warm and smooth against mine. “Nice to meet you,” I say. I don’t stammer, but it’s a near thing. She’s beautiful.

“The feeling is entirely mutual.”

On my other side, Hermes snickers. I remember myself enough to turn and shoot a glare at her. “Shut up.”

“Always so cranky until you see a pretty face, and then you forget that you know how to talk.” She nudges me with her shoulder. There’s no edge to her voice, just a deep fondness that speaks of our long history.

Apollo, though, tenses. “Leave her alone, Hermes.”

She holds up a finger, nails painted matte black. “One: you should know better, since I don’t leave anyone alone.” She lifts another finger. “Two: Cassandra is more than capable of defending herself if she feels the need to.”

“Just because she can doesn’t mean she should.”

This feels strange. I can’t decide if it’s a good kind of strange or a bad kind of strange, but I’m not inclined to let them argue over me like two dogs with a bone. Even if they’re both coming at the conversation with the intention of protecting me. “That’s enough.”

Apollo opens his mouth but seems to reconsider whatever he was about to say. He gives a short nod and turns to his plate. Hermes narrows her eyes like she wants to keep provoking him, but I catch her gaze and shake my head silently. She sighs. “Fine. I’ll behave.”

Lunch is a surreal experience. It’s so…normal. Everyone chats easily as if a man wasn’t almost murdered a few rooms away less than twenty-four hours ago. I knew the Thirteen and those close to them were different animals, but it’s never been clearer than in the time since Pan was attacked.

Especially considering my new theory that they’re here for Minos to do their dirty work in return for part of the profits.

Don’t they realize that this will give him leverage over them? Or do they really think they’re that untouchable?

Or maybe they’re planning a double cross once they get what they want from him? All the gain and none of the possibility of sharing the rewards or future blackmail.

The possibilities make my head spin. I can’t be the only one who sees the dangers. Surely I’m not. But they’ve ignored my warning so far. They truly think they’re untouchable. Even Apollo, in his own way. He’s willing to endanger himself for the greater good.

By the time they realize they might be wrong, it will be too late.