Chapter 33 Shea

I had no idea what to do with this revelation as I sat alone in my room, staring at nothing.

On the one hand, it was incredible—I was Julian's lost love reincarnated! What the hell were the chances of that? I was unbelievably ecstatic about this news!

The vampire I'd felt so drawn to for so many months, had secretly—and not so secretly—longed to capture the heart of, was finally allowed to love me fully and without reservation. He no longer had to be burdened with guilt over Alice because I was her! Dare I say, we were meant to be together.

It was almost unreal. I still couldn't fully believe it, even though I'd done the magic and felt the results for myself, and Gram had witnessed it and confirmed it. And if I had a hard time accepting it, I could only imagine how Julian would react.

Would he be skeptical? Think I'd fabricated this story to make him feel better about being with me and hate me for such a thing? I would never want him to think I'd be so manipulative. Just the possibility of such an accusation made my stomach twist up like a pretzel.

And if he did believe me, would he be as happy about it as I was? Would he be sad that, even though I was Alice 2.0, I wasn't exactly the same person he'd loved a hundred years ago? I didn't share the history with him that she had, didn't look the same or sound the same. Would he continue to mourn the person I no longer was and would never be again?

These questions were why I hadn't reached out to him yet. I didn't know the right way to approach explaining my discovery. And I had no way of knowing if he was busy with the vampires of Heritage Prep. Considering it was night, I didn't feel safe reaching out. I didn't want to get him in trouble—at least, that's what I told myself.

And anyway, this news felt like an in-person kinda thing, not something you divulge over a phone call or communication spell. So, for now, it could wait. It would give me time to process it and figure out how I really felt about it.

Then there was the Caesar of it all. How would he take the news? Would he feel left out? Somehow less deserving of me because fate hadn't woven this complicated tapestry around our coming together?

Personally, I didn't feel like it changed anything. Not the way I felt about him. The pull that drew me to him was just as powerful and irresistible as the one for Julian. Even knowing this, I couldn't say I felt more compelled toward one over the other. None of us had used the "L" word yet, and I hadn't really used it internally with myself, but I knew that's what this was. And I felt it equally for both of them.

But I wasn't sure Caesar would buy that. He was certainly more possessive than Julian, and I knew it had been a more difficult trial for him to agree to this threesome than it had been for Julian. Would this be the straw that broke the gryphon's back? How could I convince him that he belonged in this triangle with me just as much as Julian did?

Ugh!

I let myself fall back onto my bed, getting a strange satisfaction from the smack of my head against the comforter and the whoosh of air that blew my hair before the landing. Why did this shit have to be so complicated? I wouldn't have it any other way, but seriously why couldn't it all just be easy?

The phrase Gram always said wafted through my mind. "Nothing worth having is ever easy to get."

Well, you know, sometimes it should be! Romeo and Juliet should've been together without their families being assholes, Hercules should've been allowed into Mount Olympus without the tasks, and Thomas Edison shouldn't have had to waste so much time, effort, and material to invent the lightbulb. There, I said it.

The sound of the front door opening carried down the hall as I stared up at my ceiling, but it was the masculine timber of Caesar's voice immediately after that had me bolting upward.

What was he doing here after dark? And on a day like this when so much had already changed?

I launched off my bed and beelined down the hall, my heart doing a little flutter at the sight of his athletic figure in the doorway beyond Gram. But he hadn't come alone; a lithe Asian man was behind him on the porch.

Curiosity hastened my steps.

"Sorry for the late hour, but I really need to talk to—Shea!" Caesar's chestnut eyes lit up with a relief that tugged on my heart when they landed on me over Gram's shoulder.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked as I came up behind Gram, concern blooming in my gut. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, what's this about?" Gram asked him.

Caesar cast cautious glances over his shoulders in either direction, which only heightened my anxiety. "That's a long story. Can we come inside? I'll explain everything."

With curiosity evident in her own wizened face, Gram stepped aside and held the door open for them in invitation. Caesar quickly entered and made his way to the couch in the living room. His Asian friend looked awkward and uncomfortable as he did the same.

As much as I wanted to sit beside him, the situation didn't feel comfortable enough for that. Gram didn't know about the intimate nature of my relationship with him, and I doubted his friend did either. This seemed like shifter business. Was his friend a professor from the school, come to interrogate the witch Caesar wanted to bring into his student body?

So I sat on the opposite couch, and Gram settled onto it next to me.

Caesar's posture was stiff, even as he leaned forward and braced his elbows on his thighs to confide in us. "Due to circumstances beyond my control, I have been removed as Director of the Dome."

"What?" I shouted, scooting to the very edge of my seat cushion in shock and outrage. "Why?"

"They found evidence that he was cavorting with a vampire," his friend replied. When I cocked my head at him, he stood and bent over the coffee table between us to extend a hand. "Sorry, I'm Kai Inari, also a former professor at the Dome. As Caesar's lifelong best friend, I resigned along with him."

"Ah, a kitsune." Aunt Janette, having suddenly emerged from the kitchen at overhearing our conversation, inserted herself between us to accept his outstretched hand. "I've never met one of your kind before."

"Oh, er, thanks?" Kai replied, blushing at the unabashed flirtation in her tone.

She perched herself seductively on the arm of the couch beside Gram, watching him like a hungry lioness as he turned to offer his hand to me.

But I couldn't pay any mind to her weird fascination with shifters right now. In an awkward, robotic fashion, I shook his hand, struggling to process the implications of the first thing he'd said. Even as he went on to shake Gram's hand, I couldn't find the words to respond.

This was the worst possible thing that could happen to Caesar. He loved that school, loved his students and his purpose there. What would happen to Arya without him?

"Wh… Um… What kind of evidence did they find?" I eventually managed to ask.

He gave me a knowing look that I didn't understand until after he answered. "A few video clips of my meetings with Julian, as well as a record of our correspondence about our business together."

I relaxed only a little. He was trying to cryptically reassure me that his mutineers didn't know about the part I played between him and Julian. Not that it would make much of a difference at this point. In the shifter world, allying with a vampire was a far bigger crime than fraternizing with a witch, even a young witch.

And I couldn't even fault them for their prejudices against either group. Vampires had been slaughtering their kind for centuries, and witches had apparently cursed entire shifter bloodlines for the misdeeds of one person. It was human nature—and apparently shifter, witch, and vampire nature—to condemn entire races for the actions of the few.

But if there was anything this experience had taught me, it was that there was good and bad in all living things. Not every vampire was bad, and not every witch was good. Not every dragon was a pompous, unredeemable asshole, and not every mermaid was an elitist snob. We all needed to strive to look beyond each other's labels.

"I am so sorry that happened to you," Gram said sincerely. "Shea has told me about this vampire, and he seems like a true diamond in the rough. Considering your position against vampires, I respect your ability to look beyond what he is to who he is, as Shea has done."

Caesar attempted a humble smile that didn't quite land. "Well, thank you. A whole lot of good it's done me. Arthur Dracul, the general of the shifter military, has taken control of the school. All so he can have Arya to himself."

"Wait, Arya?" I asked, worry knotting my guts anew. "What does he want with Arya?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking so much more tired than I'd ever seen him. It made me want to wrap myself around him and comfort him.

"Has Arya spoken to you about the prophecy?"

I shook my head, proud of my restraint in keeping my distance from him.

He let out a sigh. "Seven years ago, after the destruction of the original shifter school on Framboise Island, our resident seer made a prophecy that a stray mermaid would emerge as a siren and that she would be the one to kill Hadrian and bring an end to this war."

My heart seemed to be pounding in my throat. "And you think Arya is that siren?"

"I don't think she is. I know she is," Caesar said with conviction. "I've been personally seeing to her training. Well, I was before now, anyway."

Arya was a siren? I knew she was a chimera and, therefore, was somehow able to shift into a harpy as well as a mermaid, but she hadn't said anything to me about being a siren.

"Why didn't she tell me?" I wondered out loud, feeling wounded even though I'd been keeping plenty from her.

"I advised her to keep it secret," Caesar informed. "The prophecy is highly confidential information. The less people knew about it, the safer she would be."

"But I'm not just people," I argued. "I'm her best friend. We used to tell each other everything."

"I'm pretty sure you didn't tell her that you were seeing Caesar," Kai commented in a playful tone.

"Kai!" Caesar hissed at the same time I called out, "Dude!"

"What?" he asked, clearly not realizing the giant, feral cat he just let out of the bag.

With the greatest reluctance, I dragged my guilty eyes to Gram.

"I thought I sensed your presence in her room one night," she accused, narrowing her eyes at Caesar. "Is it common for shifter teachers to prey on prospective students? Or do your tastes only target rose-eyed witches?"

"Gram!" I blurted, every inch of my face burning in mortification.

Caesar put his fist over his heart. "I can assure you that it wasn't like that. I am an honorable man, and I tried so hard to fight the pull I felt toward her. But I am in love with your granddaughter."

My eyes widened, and my breathing halted. Holy shit, did he just say the "L" word?

He turned his meaningful gaze to me. "In fact, I believe I have imprinted on her."

"What?" Gram and I asked at the same time.

"I've been considering it for a few weeks now, and it's the only rational reason I can think of for my feelings," he said. "It explains why it's so difficult to be away from you, why I couldn't resist you, even though I knew it was…taboo. And I somehow always know how to find you. But whether or not I did, that doesn't change my devotion to you."

The room was silent for a long moment, my embarrassment and guilt at being outed completely overwritten by the flood of gratitude and love I felt for him. Imprinted? To me? Seriously? How the hell did I get so lucky?

"How long has this been going on, Shea?" Gram's stern question snapped me out of my starstruck trance.

"Um… A month, maybe?" I replied skittishly.

"And how do you feel about him?" she countered. "Just this evening, you told me you were in love with your vampire. You're the reincarnation of his deceased wife, for goodness sake!"

"What?" Caesar asked, and I cringed.

Great. This was so not how I wanted him to find out. A whole lot of shit was hitting the fan tonight. It was a veritable shit shower for everyone.

"Wow, Shea, a vampire and a gryphon," Aunt Janette said, giving me a thumbs up. "I approve."

"You're not helping, Janie," Gram scolded.

"Ugh, fine," I said, jumping off the couch and planting my feet firmly. "Yes, I'm Alice reincarnated. I only found out, like, an hour ago. I haven't had time to process it."

Then I turned to Gram. "And yes, I've been secretly seeing both Caesar and Julian, and I didn't tell you because, well, I really wanted to avoid all this ." I waved my hands in a wildly exaggerated circular motion. "But I love them both so much, sometimes I think I'm going to explode because my frail human body can't possibly contain it."

She eyed me quietly, and I couldn't read what thoughts or emotions hid behind her shrewd stare.

So I just kept talking. "What we have is undeniable and inevitable. You saw yourself that I am Julian's wife come back, and I believe Caesar when he says he imprinted on me, which is a topic I'm only beginning to understand. The three of us were cosmically drawn together, and I'm so done trying to hide it or fight it. So there."

My chest was heaving with my heavy breaths by the time I was finished, and I took a moment to gauge the reactions around the room.

Caesar had on the sweetest, most touching smile, staring at me like I was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever seen. Gram was still scowl-frowning between me and Caesar, slightly resembling a pretty toad. And Kai just looked slightly fidgety while he pretended not to notice that hungry stare Aunt Janette was giving him from her perch on the arm of the couch.

Finally, Gram sighed. "This is just…a lot, Shea."

My shoulders sagged slightly, my brow puckering. "I know."

"I wish you had told me sooner," she said.

"So you could lock me up in the house for the rest of my life like you practically already tried for a solid week there?" I snarked, sitting back down.

She put her hand on my knee. "I know I've been overbearing. My desperation to protect you has made me foolish and blind. But… if you had talked to me about all this before, I could have at least given you some guidance along the way."

I crossed my arms, my sass slipping out of me. "Oh? You would've been fine if I told you I had the hots for an older shifter guy?"

She bristled at that, shooting the side eye to Caesar. "He is much older than you."

I balked. "Hold on. You were totally fine with me being in love with a vampire who's more than a hundred years older than me, but you have a problem with someone who's only eight years older than me?"

"She has a point," Aunt Janette interjected.

"Janie, I swear!" Gram hissed.

I shoved down my amusement at their exchange and continued pleading my case. "Besides, wasn't Grandpa, like, eleven years older than you?"

"Thirteen, actually," Aunt Janette said, then hopped off her perch just in time to avoid the whack of Gram's palm. "And they met when she was fifteen, if I'm not mistaken," she added once she was a safe distance away.

Gram grumbled under her breath and pinched her brow in a long-suffering gesture. "Okay, Shea, do you have any more secrets?"

"No. Wait…." I cast my gaze upward as I tried to mull over the mountain of secrets I'd been keeping. "Yeah, no. That's everything."

Gram sighed again, shaking her head, then leveled a tempered expression on Caesar. "Alright. You came here to inform Shea that you've been removed from your school. What do you need from us?"

I frowned in surprise at her offer. She was really surprising me the last few days.

"Well, I don't really know," Caesar said, seeming just as surprised as I was.

"We could use a place to stay," Kai said. "As far as I know, we don't have anywhere to go."

Caesar seemed to blanche at Kai's candor. "We'll figure something—"

"You can stay with me," Aunt Janette chirped. "I have a guest room that never gets used. And I wouldn't mind the company." The tone she used was heavy with insinuation as she winked at Kai.

Damn, Aunt Janette. What was it with her and shifters? Actually, okay, I didn't really have room to criticize. But I never threw myself at Caesar the way she'd been blatantly hitting on Kai and a little bit on Tobias.

"That would be great," Caesar said, bowing his head to her in gratitude.

I turned away from my drooling aunt to Caesar. "What do we do from here?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure just yet. We need to get a hold of Julian. I've been texting him all afternoon, but he hasn't responded. I'm actually a little concerned about that. And I don't want to call him in case it puts him in a compromising position."

I didn't like hearing that. Julian not responding was not a good sign.

"I have a way to contact him," I hedged. "A spell he taught me to speak to him over long distances. If he happens to be unable to talk, I'll at least tell him to contact us asap."

Caesar didn't ask about this spell, just seemed to accept the information. He nodded. "Okay."

"While they're busy, why don't I show you to the guest room?" Aunt Janette suggested to Kai. "I'm just a few houses down."

Kai's cheeks turned pink, and it was hilariously adorable. I could see why Caesar liked him. He didn't stand a chance against Aunt Janette's advances. She was going to eat the poor guy alive.

But I couldn't worry about that. All that mattered right now was getting a hold of Julian.

I spoke the words that I now knew by heart and felt the connection take hold, but it was staticky.

"Julian?" I asked.

But no response came, and something felt strange about her connection. Like there was darkness on the other side. Panic shot through me for an instant as I feared he might be dead. But no, I could feel him at the other end, and I just intuitively knew he was still living. Could he be sleeping?

As soon as the question crossed my mind, I knew that was the correct answer.

"He's not answering," I said, swallowing down my brief moment of terror and trying to play it cool. "I think he's sleeping."

Caesar nodded, but he didn't seem confident about that information. "He always was a weird vampire. Okay, well, we can try again in the morning. He'll be less likely to be in the company of other vampires then, anyway."

"Good point," I agreed, though the idea of waiting so long to talk to him made my stomach knot.

Caesar went over to Aunt Janette's to get settled—and probably to save Kai from her claws—while I helped Gram prepare dinner for everyone. Gram only asked me a dozen or so questions about how the three of us met and came to bond, and I answered them all honestly. It was such a relief to have all of that off my shoulders, to be able to speak freely with her about, well, everything.

But there was a new weight taking its place on my shoulders. Even as food and laughter passed around the table, I couldn't shake the nagging suspicion that something was wrong with Julian. And I didn't know how I'd last through the night waiting to reach out again.