Chapter 16 Shea

My palms were so sweaty that my gloves had begun to freeze to my hands, sticking stubbornly as I peeled them off in the lobby of Julian's apartment.

My legs wobbled as I crossed the polished floor to the elevator, and for those few steps, I couldn't quite remember how to walk. Do my hands usually swing this much? How wide is my stride supposed to be? Why is this so difficult?

I had no idea what to expect when I got there. Surely, they wouldn't ask me to come all this way just for both of them to dump me. Right? But then again, Julian was a very careful person. He wasn't the type to break someone's heart over text but talk them down face to face.

Aww, fuck!

I reached Julian's door to find that it had been replaced. Out of habit, I took out the spare key he'd given me, then paused. Under the circumstances, it didn't feel right to just let myself in. So, I stashed the key and knocked instead. Well, that just felt foolish.

The door opened to the heart-stopping sight of Julian standing behind it, and my breath hitched as I took in his beautiful face and stylish physique for what might be the last time. He stared at me for a moment, a playful smirk on his full lips.

"You know, you're not the vampire here," he said in a light tone, "you can come in without a formal invitation."

"Oh." My cheeks burned as I stepped inside, hoping they just looked frost-kissed from the bitter cold outside.

Caesar was leaning against the island in the kitchen, his arms folded over his deliciously broad chest that was hugged by a fitted sweater and one ankle resting atop the other. I couldn't tell if his stance was guarded or casual, especially since his face was an unreadable mask as his gaze lingered on me.

I jumped slightly when Julian's hand pressed gently on the small of my back through my thick jacket, then immediately relaxed at the knowledge that he was touching me. Even through so many layers, his touch felt so good. I let him guide me toward Caesar in the kitchen, again focusing way too much on my feet and whether or not my steps looked awkward.

"So, what's all this about?" I asked, my voice sounding surprisingly confident with my typical snark as I shrugged out of my jacket.

"We—" Caesar began to speak, but he broke off, and his eyes flared wide when he took in my slinky red sweater dress, black leggings, and black leather boots. "Whoa, you look…"

"Delectable," Julian volunteered in a low tone that dripped with desire.

I tossed my bulky jacket and coat onto the island counter with maybe a little too much cavalier swagger. "Yeah, well, I figured if I'm going to get dumped, I might as well look smoking hot while I do it."

Caesar's mask cracked into a smile, and he scooted closer to me. "We're not dumping you."

I furrowed my brows at him skeptically, then turned to Julian, who nodded slightly.

"Oh," I said awkwardly. "So…"

"We asked you here to talk about the dynamics of our relationship and what you would like to have happen here," Julian said, his voice so velvety smooth I had to fight a swoon, especially considering the words he spoke with it.

They looked at me expectantly for a moment, and I guess I hadn't realized that statement was a question, and they were waiting for an answer. I suddenly felt very hot and on the spot.

I cleared my throat and scraped my teeth over my bottom lip. "Well, you guys already know what I want. I want both of you. I don't want to have to choose. Not that that matters because you still don't even know if you want me at all." I looked sheepishly at Julian.

"I guess that's a good place to start," Julian said, a crease forming in his smooth brow as he seemed to mentally prepare his next words. "I have spent my entire immortal life mourning the woman I always believed was my forever. And it's been an incredibly lonely existence. I don't believe that Alice would have wanted that for me. I think she'd want me to move on and find happiness with someone else. I never thought I'd find anyone who could be her equal, and I avoided any form of intimacy out of loyalty and respect for her. But that's not living. I'm ready to truly live."

He stepped closer, and my heart was beating so fast I thought it might burst out of my chest like the Energizer Bunny. Was he actually saying what I thought he was saying?

"Caesar and I went to Canada together this weekend to follow up on a lead of possible gryphon sightings," Julian continued.

"Oh, that's great!" I said. "Did you find any?"

Caesar shook his head with a disappointed frown.

"No," Julian said. "But the trip was beneficial in other ways. It gave us time to talk about our situation and navigate our feelings better. He helped me understand that my determination to bring Alice back might be a fool's errand. Alice has been gone for a long time, and wherever her soul has ended up, she might not want to be dragged back into life. I've been selfish not considering that, and yet not selfish enough in other ways.

"After our heart-to-heart, I went out searching the snowy mountains for gryphons on my own. I didn't find any sign of them, and when I'd gotten to the top of the mountain in question, I…asked Alice for a sign. Anything to help me know what to do in regard to you."

I tried to swallow, but my mouth was as dry as the Sahara. "And…?"

He breathed a laugh through his nose and looked down. "I saw a kitten."

I frowned deeply at him in confusion. "A kitten?" What the hell did that have to do with anything?

"Yeah. At the top of a mountain with no other living beings, let alone people, for miles around, here was this little white kitten—with a small pink bow on its head." He gave me a meaningful look as if trying to impart some secret knowledge to me.

Clearly, I wasn't getting it.

I turned my confused gaze to Caesar, who flashed me a sexy smirk and wink. The heat that flared in response to his gesture distracted me for a second, reminding me of our first impromptu tryst in the bathroom of the pub—then it suddenly hit me.

The kitten Julian was describing was the kitten on the matching sweaters I'd gotten for both of them. And he had seen such a kitten in real life at the top of a mountain with no one and nothing else around.

"Th–that was your sign," I said, turning back to Julian. "The kitten from the sweater."

He nodded, and I couldn't help but stare at his broadening smile in aching appreciation. "Just as suddenly as she appeared, she vanished just like that. No paw prints. No sign of her having arrived or leaving, only the impression in the snow where I'd seen her. I believe that was Alice's way of telling me," he took my hand in his and held it, "that it's okay to move on, and that I should move on with you."

He brought my hand to his lips and brushed a sweet kiss on my knuckles. And I did swoon then.

With a sudden gasp of panic, I yanked my hand away and clutched it against me. The Sunkissed Spell! It would burn Julian!

But his hand and lips hadn't hurt him, at all. Only my crazy action had.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" I stammered. "My aunt had me perform a sunkissed spell on myself, you know, to protect me from other vampires. I didn't know that you were going to want me. I thought—I thought—"

He sighed in obvious relief, a grateful smile brightening his briefly somber face. "Oh, thank goodness. I was worried that you changed your mind."

"No, of course, not," I cooed. "But…I don't understand. Did the spell not work? There was like a glow and everything."

He nodded in understanding. "I know the spell you're referring to. But you forget, Shea—I'm immune to the effects of the sun, which means I'm immune to the magic of your skin. Well, at least in that way."

He reached for my hand again, and I hesitantly let him, staring for a moment to make sure there was no smoke or blistering skin.

"This is only one more reason why I believe our paths crossed for a reason," he said, tracing his thumbs lightly over the top of my hand. "I don't think the three of us ended up here by accident."

I inhaled shakily at the sincerity and conviction in his tone. He really meant what he was saying. This deep, wounded, beautiful creature wanted me , thought I was worthy of him sacrificing the love that had anchored him for a century. I could hardly believe it, could hardly breathe around the impact it had on my frail, often naive, heart.

As incredible and amazing as this revelation was, Julian and I weren't the only ones in this triangle. I had yet to hear what my other paramour thought and felt, and I was dying to do just that.

I looked to Caesar, and he seemed to understand that it was his turn to speak, unfolding his arms and clasping his hands down at his thighs.

"After a lot of tortured thought and restless sleep, I've come to agree with Julian," he said, locking my gaze with his chestnut eyes so that I had no choice but to swim in them—hell, I'd gladly drown in them. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the moment I met you. Our paths have continued to cross in the most surprising and auspicious ways, and the feelings I have for you are so powerful, they border on irrational."

I snickered through a joy-thickened throat, butterflies flapping in a mad dance inside my belly.

Caesar took my other hand in his, holding it as Julian did, and I was so overwhelmed with happiness that I thought I was going to explode.

"I haven't been the man you deserve me to be up to this point," he said, looking down at my hand. "I have been arrogant and avoidant and possessive—basically, I've been a giant jerk."

"I would've said ‘asshole,' but go on," I commented.

"Smartass," he said through a chuckle. "I'm ready to be who you deserve, to stand up for you and defend you against the judgment of my peers. I don't want you to be my dirty little secret. I want you to be my mate."

I didn't even realize how goofily wide my smile had grown until my cheeks began to ache.

"Okay, so you both want me, but…how is this going to work?" I looked between the two of them, these two gorgeous men who had both pledged their loyalty and affection to me, and the joy that filled my chest to bursting began to deflate and sour into agonized indecision. "I can't choose."

"We're not asking you to," Julian said. "Like I said, I think the three of us wound up together for a reason."

I blinked hard. "Wait. You mean, the three of us, together ? Like together , together?"

They exchanged glances, then nodded.

"While I'm not the biggest fan of the idea of sharing you, I don't want to live without you," Caesar said. "And Julian has become the most unlikely friend I ever thought I'd have. We've bonded in a way I never expected. I trust him to protect you when I can't. And if I have to share you with someone else, I'm glad it's him."

They shared an intimate glance with each other and linked their free hands, and my eyes practically bugged out of my skull in surprise. Omigod, why is that so hot?!

"So, back to my original question." Julian stepped even closer, making me back into the counter as he put his hands on my hips. He looked down at me with desire burning in his gaze and purred, "Is this what you want?"

He lowered his head to my neck, and I sucked in a breath of anticipation as his lips and tongue began to nibble at the flesh below my ear. My eyelids fluttered closed, and a warm, calloused hand combed into the back of my hair, turning my head to expose my neck even more. When heated lips met mine, I knew without opening my eyes that they were Caesar's, his mossy scent filling my senses as I invited him into my hungry mouth.

This was unbelievable. Caesar and Julian, at the same time! I hadn't really even dared to fantasize about such a thing, and it was actually happening. Caesar kissing my mouth while Julian kissed my neck. Caesar's warm hands squeezing my breasts and ass while Julian's pelvis pressed against mine, his rigid desire grinding into the apex of my thighs.

Was this real? Was I just having the most incredible dream ever and about to wake up to a sad reality?

Julian's fangs pierced into my skin, and I hissed in pleasure-pain.

Ah, who fucking cares! If this was a dream, then I was going to enjoy every beautiful, sinful moment of it!