Chapter 14 Shea

As I walked back to the couch, I felt so much lighter, like this massive weight had just been lifted off my shoulders.

I finally told someone everything. I finally wasn't keeping these secrets alone. I just hoped Ashlyn would keep them, too. I hadn't meant to tell her about Caesar, and though I was brimming with relief that I did, I couldn't help but worry that he might get in trouble because of it.

I had to trust Ashlyn. I had to trust that she wouldn't say anything to Arya. If Arya ever learned about any of this, it had to be from me. And I would tell her. I just had to figure out how and when.

But that was a matter for another time. Now that I'd vented about my relationship problems, I could hopefully focus on my mission for the day—learning magic from Gram. I tried not to get too excited about it as I waited for her to come back with Aunt Janette. This had been the one thing I'd wanted for so long, and I was afraid that Gram might change her mind at the last moment.

When the door opened, and I saw Aunt Janette come in behind Gram, I knew it was actually happening. Finally! The excitement I had been hesitant to feel all day flared within me like gasoline splashed onto smoldering embers, making me jump off the couch and scamper toward them.

"What are we going to learn first? Do we need any special supplies? Should I—"

"Calm down, Shea," Gram chided in a soothing tone. "I know you're excited, but we have to venture slowly. Magic takes patience and a level head."

I frowned as she set her purse on the table. I knew she was right, but venturing slowly was the last thing I wanted to do. I had waited seventeen years for this. Couldn't possibly go much slower than that.

She sat down and waved in a gesture for us to sit around the table as well before she began pulling various items out of her purse. I took the seat closest to her and looked at the items with curious fascination: a braid of sage, a lighter, and a long yellow flower petal that looked freshly plucked.

I bit my tongue against asking what these things were for. I knew Gram would explain soon enough, and I didn't want to push her too hard. She wanted me to be patient, so I would be the embodiment of patience—at least on the outside.

Gram laced her finger over the table and turned her attention to me. "While there are many things I can teach you, I think the spells we should start with should be ones that can protect you from vampires."

I nodded eagerly, scooting closer, the same word screaming in my head on repeat. Yes! Yes! Yes!

"Now your Aunt Janette is more practiced at these spells than I am, so she will guide you," Gram continued, opening her hand to Aunt Janette beside her.

My aunt lit up, a wide smile spreading across her face. She seemed almost as excited as I was.

"The first spell I want you to try is a threshold binding spell," she said as leaned over the table and reached for the sage braid. "That's what the sage is for. You're going to light the sage until it begins to smoke, and then you're going to go to every exit and smudge the air while reciting the words ‘hetem me kekeru'. That will make it impossible for a vampire to enter without your permission."

I nodded, then cocked my head. "Is that where that notion comes from, you know, that vampires can't enter without an invitation?"

"Exactly," she replied with a smile.

"Huh, interesting," I mused. "What are the words again?"

"Hetem me kekeru," she answered. "Are you ready?"

"Damn straight," I said excitedly.

"Shea," Gram scolded, and I gave her an innocent shrug before picking up the sage and lighter.

I had heard of smudging before. It was typically for warding off troubled spirits and cleansing a house of negative energy. I had no idea it could be used to create an actual barrier that vampires couldn't cross, and now that I did, I was eager to give us that extra layer of protection.

I sparked the lighter and held the flame to the end of the sage braid until it began to burn, then blew out the flame so that it only smoked. As Aunt Janette had instructed, I went to the kitchen door, waving the smoking braid across it as I repeated the words she'd told me.

Then I went to the kitchen window, then the front door and so on. Gram and Aunt Janette followed behind me as I worked my magic, repeating the spell at each other possible outlet of the house. I smudged Gram's room, my room, the bathroom, and even the vents in the ceiling—I wasn't taking any chances.

When I first started, I couldn't feel a difference, couldn't tell if it was working. But with each window and door I sealed, I began to sense a kind of psychic shell forming around us. And when I finished sealing the final window, the shell seemed to breathe like it was a living thing, and I had never felt so safe.

"Very well done, Shea," Aunt Janette commended, gripping my shoulders from behind as we came back to the kitchen table.

My pride soaked up all the praise like a dry sponge. Not only was I learning magic, but I was learning spells that could actually help people. What if I could cast this spell at the Dome? They'd never have to worry about the vampires finding them. I could save everyone!

If only they'd let me in. Maybe Caesar could sneak me in again—if he ever manned up and spoke to me again.

Gram and Aunt Janette took their seats around the table, and I quickly followed, eager to start on the next spell.

"This next spell is called Ra Senen, or Sun-Kissed," Aunt Janette said. "If it's performed correctly, it will give your skin the same power as the sun, meaning if a vampire touches you, they will burn as if shined by the sun's rays."

"Whoa, cool!" I said. That would keep me safe from any vampires who might try to bite me.

Wait. Oh…

Julian was a vampire. If I went through with this spell, that would mean he could never touch me…

My excitement deflated into sorrow and hesitation. But why? Julian hadn't reached out to me, and chances were that when he did, he would friendzone me or break off our involvement altogether. Was the dimming, naive hope of having something more with him worth leaving myself susceptible to another vampire attack? One that would probably kill me next time?

"Shea? Did you hear me?" Aunt Janette asked.

I blinked, feeling stupid for not paying attention. "Sorry. What was that?"

Gram let out a sigh that made me wince in embarrassment, but Aunt Janette repeated herself.

"You will light the sunflower petal as you say the incantation." She held up the long yellow petal. "It will burn bright without charring, and you will eat the petal."

I wrinkled my forehead. "Won't that burn my mouth?"

She shook her head. "No. The fire represents the sun's light and doesn't hurt. I've done it myself, and if anything, it just feels warm all the way down your throat."

I nodded, not fully convinced. "And…how long will this spell last?"

She smiled and shrugged. "It's permanent. Once you swallow that petal, you will never have to worry about vampires ever again."

My heart slammed against my chest like the bang of a gavel. If I did this, I could never be with Julian ever again. And even though I knew he was probably going to brush me aside anyway, this felt like closing a door I could never reopen.

Without this spell, even if he did reject me now, there was always the hope that he might change his mind. Going through with this would blow out that flame of hope forever.

But what was the alternative? Denying this gesture after years of begging to learn magic would probably ruin any chances of future lessons. I'd come too far, fought too hard, to stop now. And I certainly didn't want to ever be bitten and drained by a rogue vampire again. If that meant losing out on that experience with Julian, so be it. I had to do this.

"Okay," I said with a firm nod. "What's the incantation?"

She pulled a folded piece of paper from her purse that hung on the back of her chair and slid it over to me. "Say the words at the same time as you light the petal, and channel your will into the flame."

I unfolded the paper and read over the spell several times until I felt I had it memorized. Then, with shaky hands, I picked up the petal and the lighter. I flicked the lighter a few times before it finally lit, then held the petal just above the flame.

Taking a shaky breath, I lowered the petal to the flame and spoke the words. "Hena hedj sedjet, berek af-i hena woser shamesh."

The flame engulfed the petal with a whoosh , startling me so suddenly that I nearly dropped the petal. But before the fire could singe my fingertips, its color changed from orange to gold, emanating a warm glow. It felt like I was holding nothing more than warm air between my fingers.

"Very good, Shea," Aunt Janette said. "Now put it in your mouth and swallow it."

I stared at the flaming petal, marveling at how it really didn't burn or char at all. Magic was pretty fucking awesome. Even if this particular spell was going to hurt as much as help.

Well, here goes nothing.

Closing my eyes tight, I opened my mouth wide and slowly lowered the petal onto my tongue.

Aunt Janette was right. It didn't burn. It just felt like cozy summer heat bathing that spot on my tongue. I closed my mouth and swallowed, the silky petal going down easily without the need to chew. That same heat caressed my throat all the way down to my belly.

As the heat radiated from my belly and spread through me, my skin began to glow with the same golden light, but only for a fleeting second before dulling to its natural state.

When I looked up at the two women, they were both smiling, and I could almost swear I saw pride in Gram's eyes.

"You did very well," she said, reaching over to place a hand over mine on the table. "We can all rest assured that you will be safe from any foul vampires who might want to harm you."

And even those that don't…

My phone pinged in my pocket, and when I pulled it out to check who the message was from, my heart plummeted to my pelvic floor. Why now? Why at this very moment? Why not an hour ago before—before— Ugh!

Julian: "Can you meet Caesar and me at my apartment? We're ready to talk."

Tears welled in my eyes as I read the message over and over. His timing couldn't possibly be any worse, and my heart was breaking for it.

I blinked away the sting and looked back up at Gram, plastering on a neutral expression.

"Now that you know I'll be safe from attack, will you allow me to go out for a few hours?" I asked with a steady voice. "I need to meet with Caesar and discuss an important matter."

Gram and Aunt Janette exchanged furtive glances.

Finally, Gram nodded. "Okay, but be back before sunset and make sure your location sharing is active on your phone."

I nodded and offered a smile. "Okay. I will. And thank you guys. I won't let you down."

I hugged both of them before shouldering my bag and heading out the door. I had no idea what I was about to walk into, but I was expecting a goodbye. Not that it mattered now anyway. One of those doors was already closed.