Chapter 15

Chapter

Fifteen

MIKAEL

I knew it wouldn't be long before I cracked and bared my soul to Danyal. Every single instinct in me was screaming to take him into my arms, to hold him, to lick his metaphorical wounds. I wanted to drag fingers and claws over every inch of his body until he was comforted and maybe a little bit desperate for me.

I wanted to smell his slick again.

I wanted to feel him tight around me.

I woke up hard, my dick aching, and I rolled away from where Danyal was quietly slumbering. Pushing to my feet, I stumbled toward the mouth of the cave to relieve myself, then stared out at the glowing dawn on the horizon. It was strange to be free like this, but trapped. To know the world was out there and no one was holding us in place, but there was no sanctuary outside of these cave walls.

Not yet.

I'd checked the phone before dropping off, but it was still out of service. I wondered if Kor would ever activate it, or if things had gone so wrong, he never would. Danyal and I both agreed we could wait a little while, but not forever. Our people needed us, and we had to find a way to get back home. I had no real faith that any of those people—those Wolves, apparently—were still at the Paris flat.

It was likely they had accomplished their mission and moved on. Arturo had been my only means of escape without Kor, and he and his sister were long gone. If it came down to it, I'd steal a car and we'd get as close to a private airstrip as we could. If we could cross the border into Switzerland, we'd be able to charter a flight to Canada, and from there, we could cross the border at night as Wolves.

Alexei Kasher probably had eyes in the sky, but it was early days, and we had a chance to make it back to our little stronghold before sanctions took place. It would be a year before the election, and I didn't think the current human president was in a hurry to start changing laws.

Not so close to the treaty.

Marion was another matter. I had never met him in person, though I had seen him enough to know he was an opportunist. When Zane told me he was inviting Lior onto the council, I knew that Wolf was in Marion's pocket. Or perhaps the other way around. Whatever the case, I didn't want those eyes on us.

"Keep the enemy close," Zane muttered the night I had protested. I didn't want to agree with him, but everyone else had, and I had been outvoted.

I'd been tempted to walk away after that, but then I'd seen Danyal—my Omega—and I couldn't bring myself to go. I wondered what life would have been like if I'd done it, but fate had decided for me all those years ago when I held Danyal in my arms and knotted him.

The bond had faded, but that didn't matter.

We could bring it back.

Sighing, I moved back into the cave, listening for Danyal's breath first before heading to the spring. The soapy water had long since cleared, so I refilled our containers, then dragged them back to the fire pit in the second cove. It only took a moment to restoke the fire, then I poured them through the filter and set them in a pot to boil.

I had lived like this before—on the front, when First War was just beginning. We would be in the middle of nowhere for weeks, waiting for orders, waiting for any sign of the human army. Things would be calm, enough to throw the entire company into a false sense of security.

And just when we could all breathe a little easier, sleep a little easier, we were picked off. I swore to myself the day I took off my uniform for the last time, I would never let it happen again. And now, here I was, entirely alone except the one Wolf who should never forgive me.

I was so lost in thought, I didn't hear Danyal wake, and when he said my name, I jumped half a foot in the air. "Fuck. Warn a guy," I snarled at him.

He gave me a sleepy look—one that made me want to pin him down and run my tongue over his pulse—then he shuffled past me and rummaged through the bags until he found the container of instant coffee. "I don't suppose we have cream or sugar packets?"

We did—a few. We were going to run out of everything good soon, but for now, we might as well indulge. I handed them off, and he poured himself a tin mug, then took the supply of sweetener down by half. A small smile curled the edges of his lips, and my soul ached for him.

"When we run out of supplies, we should go," he said, his voice still sleep-roughened.

I swallowed, then nodded and began to fix my own coffee. I hated it black, but if it meant he got to have the last of those small comforts, so be it. "I charted a map last night—in my head," I added when he opened his mouth, likely to ask me where it was. "There are a couple of borders we can cross where we'll still have sanctuary as Wolves."

Danyal's brows rose high on his forehead. "A place we can stay with a hot shower and a warm bed?"

I couldn't stop my laugh. "I was thinking more like chartering a plane or gods forbid, a boat to get home. I figure if we can disembark or land in Canada, we'll have an easier time crossing into the US."

"Incognito, you mean," he said. There was a small smile playing at his lips, and I knew he was still thinking of better accommodations than the cave. His sweetness was overwhelming, and I wished I could peer into the future and know how painful my confession would be for the both of us.

"I want to count on Kor," I told him, "but we have no idea where he is or if he's even able to do what he planned."

Danyal let out a small sigh, then nodded. "I agree. I can feel my brother. He's…content, safe," he added on a sigh, "but there's so much emotion coming from him, he keeps shutting down the bond."

I could only assume it was a shit-show in Corland, but it was going to be that way for a while. There were spies in our midst, ones we had to let by in order to keep them off their guard, and it meant so many of us would be on the edge of danger until we regained full control.

If we regained full control, I reminded myself.

Danyal sighed, then refilled his coffee, though this time he skipped the sugar, and I winced because I wished I could offer him more. "I don't want to stay here much longer. I'm…I'm afraid I'm going to break down."

At that, I couldn't stop myself. I shifted closer—close enough that our thighs brushed, and it felt like a triumph when he didn't pull away from me. "Do you want to talk to me about it?"

"There's not a lot to say," he confessed. "What Mari suffered after I arrived, part of it was because I fucked up."

I gave him a hard stare. "You protected another Wolf. You didn't know Kasher was going to take it out on her, did you?"

He let out a small, subvocal growl, then shook his head. "No, but…I don't know if it would have changed my mind. You should have seen him. It was…" He swallowed thickly. "I kept thinking about Zane—what he suffered, what he might still be suffering. And how goddamn many others like him are out there?"

"Too many," I confessed in a low whisper. "Part of the information Nadya was gathering was about the Wolves Kasher had taken. A lot of them were assumed dead, but…"

"But instead, their pack and mate bonds were broken," Danyal said very softly. "And because we relied on them, we let them go. We assumed they were gone."

I knew he was thinking about Bryn. The Beta shared a soft pack bond with many of us, and it had disappeared not long after Kor had been rescued. We all assumed he'd died, but now I wasn't so sure. Now, I realized, it was most likely he had survived and turned feral.

"Kasher will have to let them go once Nadya's information goes global," I said after a beat.

"What's it going to matter? The humans will set up some so-called recovery center to make sure they look like they're not breaking any humanitarian rules, but it'll just end up some fucking zoo," Danyal spat.

I wanted to argue, but I knew better. "That's why we have to put a stop to this election. We can't let Marion agree to a joint government. People were so ready for the war to be over, they just let themselves believe that it had ended."

"Meanwhile, Wolves were being snatched off the streets," Danyal finished for me.

I nodded, feeling the pain in my chest over it—how so many had just rolled over, refusing to see reality because it was uncomfortable. So many of them had never tasted battle, had never tasted death. It was too easy to believe it would never touch them.

"I'm tired," Danyal said after a moment, and my wolf preened when he shuffled closer, then laid his head on my shoulder. "I hope you forgive me after all this."

I frowned at him, fighting the urge to take him fully into my arms. "For what? Gods, Danyal, what could you possibly need forgiveness for?"

"This," he said, almost too quiet. He grazed the tips of his fingers along my thigh, then dropped his hand back into his lap. "I know you didn't want to come here for me. This was supposed to be a simple rescue mission, and instead you found…my mess."

"That's not…"

"It's fine," he interrupted. "I promise not to ask for more than you're willing to give. And for what it's worth, I appreciate you letting me take this small comfort."

I wanted to argue with him, to tell him he was the only Wolf I'd have done this for, but I felt his weight against me, and I heard the way his breathing started to even out. It seemed more cruel to impose my feelings and regret on him, so instead I simply let him lie there and take whatever he needed, in order to get from one moment to the next.