38. Theo

CHAPTER 38

THEO

The Mouthy One: If you two Katana-wielding murder machines end up fighting to the death, at least clean up the beach before my soon-to-be husband walks down the aisle, theeeenks…

Decidedly tense silence fell between Ziggy and I as the others hurried off to prepare for their silly human ceremony.

So, of course, I had to add some levity to the situation.

"First, I would like to apologize that my hand slipped— mostly accidentally—to your mate's abs while the twins and I were helping him with his powers just now." When Ziggy's eyes narrowed, I clarified, "It was curiosity more than anything. He's one of those Earthlings who looks scrawny but is hiding huge… muscles beneath his clothes, am I right?"

Among other things.

But something tells me not to ask about THAT.

Ziggy glared at me for another excruciatingly long moment as I wondered if I'd already ruined any chance of a reconciliation .

Perhaps I should have let him speak first…

I braced for impact, but then my Stellarian offspring did something I wouldn't have expected in millions of years.

He laughed.

Despite himself, I'm sure.

"You are so incredibly ridiculous," he chuckled, wiping tears from his eyes in such a human gesture, my chest ached. "What is the matter with you?"

"If only I knew." I grinned, feeling an enormous weight lift from my shoulders, even as I tamped down my resonance so as not to make things weird. "But you finally succumbing to my ridiculousness is a good sign, no? Perhaps we're not so different after all."

I hope.

Ziggy looked me up and down in mock appraisal before humming thoughtfully. "I believe there may be some core differences. For one, I enjoyed working for Astrum Force." He frowned. "Until I learned the truth…"

I still didn't know the entire story of what Ziggy and Micah had done to free our fellow Stellarians from the bullshit they believed in, although I'd hoped my son would tell me more.

That's tea for another time, I suppose.

Another moment of silence fell, only this one felt a bit more comfortable than before. Then, Ziggy surprised me for the second time.

"I should apologize," he murmured as my jaw nearly dropped to the depths of hell along with Jacqueline Salah's remains. "My pursuit and capture of you in Astrum Force's name was misguided and misinformed, and you would have lost your life had I succeeded in bringing you in?— "

Anger unlike anything I'd ever known welled up inside me. "No," I growled, advancing until we were inches away from each other. "What I did—murdering my entire Star Unit in cold blood— should have been avenged, no matter who was in charge at the time."

"Almost your entire unit," Ziggy replied, his lips twisting. "Micah and I met the sole survivor of your massacre. They spoke of you as if you were ahead of your time—a prophet for our kind."

Oh, please.

Historically, I would have jumped at the easy out, but I was having none of it at the moment. This conversation was too important— my son was too important—to grant me atonement I hadn't earned.

I need to fix this the correct way.

"It doesn't matter that Astrum Force Command turned out to be an evil empire," I snapped, thankful Ziggy seemed undisturbed by my vehemence. "I didn't fight my way to freedom for our people. I did it for me and me alone, because I am, and always have been, incredibly selfish and self-centered. Astrum Force had rules, and I didn't like those rules—as simple as that. I wanted to do whatever I pleased instead, and that's exactly what I've done every day since until the two best worst things to ever happen to me barged into my life."

"We love you too, brat."

Nosey little shits.

I couldn't find it in me to be mad that Andre—and Gabriel as well, no doubt—were listening in. Yes, they were most likely there for the drama, but I knew if my conversation with Ziggy came to blows, they would instantly appear to defend me to the death.

"Please don't fight Ziggy, Theo. I-I don't think Micah would forgive us if anything happened to him."

Oh, angel…

"Your ‘best worst things' are talking to you now?" Ziggy asked, although it wasn't really a question.

I huffed a laugh. "Yes. And Gabriel is telling me not to ruin things for him and his new boyfriend."

Ziggy rolled his eyes, but there was no heat in it. However, he did drop his gaze as color rose to his cheeks. "I… asked Luca to explain the phenomenon happening between Micah and Gabriel. It has been especially confusing that their attraction hasn't bothered me when I'd previously wanted to murder anyone who even looked at my mate."

Sounds familiar.

Unexpected jealousy arose. I should have been the one to teach Ziggy about Stellarian resonance and stellar collisions. Instead, I'd fucked off for hundreds of years and he'd gone elsewhere for his needs.

"Did Luca explain it's actually fairly commonplace for stellar collisions who share a resonance to bond with each other?" I ventured, wanting to make sure that old relic got it right. "That sometimes entire polyamorous units are formed?"

I do love a good play party.

Ziggy nodded, although he still looked oddly embarrassed. "It was news to me. Stellarian orphans were only educated in warfare and…" He cleared his throat. "The basic reproduction that was expected of all of us. "

That also sounds familiar.

The act of Stellarian reproduction was not romantic in the least—and hardly pleasurable. It was a means to keep the population going and, aside from fighting for our planet, Astrum Force Command made it clear every one of us was expected to produce at least one offspring in our long lifetimes.

And thus, I did my part.

"For the glory and continuation…" I murmured, like a long-buried reflex.

"...of Stellaria," Ziggy finished grimly as a sour expression darkened his face.

My stomach sank as I realized exactly how deeply I'd damaged him. "You don't want children… because of me."

Because of how I abandoned you.

Two distinct blasts of comfort shot through my stellar collision bond, but I brushed them aside, determined to feel as shitty as I deserved.

"I couldn't imagine being good at something when I had no frame of reference," Ziggy carefully replied. "So, I focused on what I was good at—what I enjoyed—which was hunting and killing. But then I also found the best worst thing to ever happen to me."

My resonance was practically tearing its way out of my chest, desperate to connect with my one true Stellarian offspring, but I tamped it down again.

He needs to know the truth before deciding what to do with me.

"I had no plans to come back for you," I blurted out as traitorous tears stung my eyelids. "Even if I'd learned of your other parent's return to the stars, it wouldn't have been enough to make me step up and take responsibility for your existence. As I told you, I am, and always have been, incredibly selfish and self-centered?—"

"Were," Ziggy interrupted. When I stared at him in confusion, he clarified, "You were incredibly selfish and self-centered, with no intention of ever stepping up and taking responsibility for anything in your life. In fact, I have never met anyone as fiercely opposed to a redemption arc as you."

He's not wrong.

"However," he continued, raising his hand and maddeningly hovering it over my chest, "I actually believe most of your ridiculous behavior is an act at this point—an outdated defense mechanism to protect yourself from experiencing the same rejection you've bestowed on others." When I sharply inhaled, his gaze snapped to mine. "How ironic that all you want is the very connection you've run from for so long."

Tears were now freely streaming down my face, but I didn't give a fuck. Ziggy may as well have unleashed his tendrils and ripped open my soul with how expertly he'd dissected me, but if anyone deserved to witness me gutted and bleeding on the table, it was him.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, not knowing what else I could possibly say to fix what I'd broken.

"I know," he replied. "And I forgive you."

Ziggy's hand landed on my chest the same moment his irises cleared, revealing his true form beneath. I gasped as whatever wall he'd erected to block his resonance from mine crumbled to the ground, finally allowing me to connect with the one piece of my essence I'd been missing for hundreds of years.

There you are.

Mine .

Our collective resonance surrounded me—buzzing within my veins and through my bond—and I didn't need to look down to know I was glowing.

This is what happiness feels like.

We stood like that for what could have been several minutes or several millennia. Time passed differently for our kind, like outer planets slowly orbiting a central star—instinctively knowing the gravitational pull is there, even if the source is too far away to see with the naked eye.

I will never lose sight of you again.

Of course, me being me, I chose that moment to add more levity.

Have we met?

"I suppose it's too soon to ask if your unexpectedly strapping stellar collision is still off limits…" I started laughing before I could even finish the sentence, too high off our connection to play the brat.

Perhaps I'm a better man than I thought.

To my delight, Ziggy laughed as well, shoving me away good-naturedly. "You are absolutely ridiculous. In case you are asking, however, the answer will always be no. Micah is mine… Well, and Gabriel's, I suppose…" He trailed off thoughtfully before smirking. "And I have no interest in your twins, in case you're concerned."

I wasn't concerned. If I was being honest, I was disappointed, but I decided to keep that revelation to myself.

We've already had far too much excitement for one day.

"Fuck," Ziggy swore as he fumbled his buzzing phone out of his pocket. "Micah is panicking that I'm not back yet for him to… dress up. "

Well, that's adorable.

"Sounds like you traded Astrum Force Command for a new kind of dictator," I teased.

He smiled as he texted something in return before pocketing his phone. "Hardly. Micah is my partner —my equal in all things—even if his powers greatly eclipse my own."

My chest warmed to hear him talk of his stellar collision with such devotion and respect, grateful he'd found someone who would take care of him once they returned to space.

"I must say, I agree with you," I solemnly spoke. "He truly is one of the most impressive creatures I've ever encountered as well."

The impassive mask Ziggy worked so hard to maintain—the one I'd no doubt inspired—momentarily slipped, making him appear as young and hopeful as the Earthling skinsuit he'd claimed as his own.

"I'm glad you approve of him, Theo," he softly replied, almost shyly. "That means a lot to me." As if suddenly remembering himself, he straightened and gave me a single nod before abruptly star hopping away.

I should have done the same, since I only had a short amount of time to assemble my fabulous outfit, but I couldn't help looking skyward, my gaze searching the stars winking into view, content in the knowledge I'd finally stopped running.