26. Theo

CHAPTER 26

THEO

The Rabble Chat is silent.

It took me longer than I cared to admit to realize everyone wasn't staring because of my incredibly attractive skinsuit but the decidedly less exciting one on the floor.

There's no accounting for taste, I suppose.

"Him?" I gestured at the dead normie with the hand holding my fried chicken. "He was like that when I got here."

"Oh fuck… ohfuckohfuckohfuck…" chanted Kai—now free to collapse into Violentia's arms after disturbing my snacking with her latest round of dog whistle screeching.

And the dogs came running, didn't they?

It was annoying to say the least. I'd been enjoying my sneaky, back row seat to the conflict happening in the dining hall, but I hadn't expected the fight to end up on my doorstep.

I would have hidden the body if I'd known .

Maybe.

Probably not.

"Nononononoooo." Xander fell to his knees beside the dead normie as the rest of the wedding guests piled into the industrial sized crime scene to join us. "Who?—"

"…would do such a thing?" Butch adopted a heroic stance as the presence of an audience caused his do-gooder Captain Masculine persona to take over. "That is the mystery, and we will not rest until we find the killer."

Snore.

Xander grimaced. "Uhhh… I was gonna say, who's going to make my emotional support nosh now? Felix was a fucking wizard with the deep fryer."

I blinked down at the corpse, suddenly recognizing him as the normie Xander had insisted on flying down to deal with his "fried chicken emergency."

Well, now it's a real emergency.

Whomp.

"Theo…" Simon cleared his throat, his gaze darting from the crowd to me, to the victim, and back to me again. "Perhaps you'd like to share the order of events leading up to the moment you… discovered the body?"

I cocked my head at my favorite child as realization dawned on me. "Am I a suspect?"

My reputation precedes me.

Simon's expression was pinched. "Well, it doesn't look good."

I scoffed. With all the murders I'd committed in my time, these amateurs thought the one I'd get caught for was a "deep-frying kitchen wizard."

Don't insult me .

With a sigh, I set aside my half-finished snack and wiped my hands on what was probably Felix's coat before tossing it aside. "Very well. Where shall I begin?"

"Tell us everything that is relevant," Butch-turned-Captain-Masculine commanded in a tone that had me adjusting myself in my booty shorts, audience be damned.

What?

I love a man who thinks he's in charge.

"Well," I began. "I woke up this morning with a raging hard-on."

Simon massaged his temples. "I don't believe that's releva?—"

"Oh, it's relevant," I interrupted, already questioning why I was humoring this exercise instead of simply star hopping to a more pleasant location. "Do you want me to give my statement or not?"

Unsurprisingly, Captain Masculine had reverted to Blushing Butch, so I patiently waited for someone else to step in as head inquisitor.

Who shall it be?

Someone with a strong stomach, I hope.

"Continue, Theo. How is your raging hard-on relevant to this case?"

Ziggy.

Pure excitement zipped down my spine. Not only would a fellow Stellarian give me the mental challenge I found lacking with most Earthlings, but this Stellarian was a professional interrogator.

How fun !

Never mind that the main reason this face-off delighted me the most was because it was the first time my second favorite son had acknowledged my presence all week.

But we're going to ignore that.

"I'm glad you asked!" I exclaimed, hopping up to sit on the nearest stainless-steel countertop. "Usually, when I wake up, I'm blessed with a twin on either side of me… to take care of either side of me."

I paused to point to my dick and my ass simultaneously—just in case I wasn't making myself clear.

They wanted a full statement after all!

A bossy tap on my brain had me glancing at the twins in question. Gabriel looked as if he wanted to disappear into the ether, while Andre—the source of my mental spanking, no doubt—was glaring at me in a way that was most delicious.

"Unfortunately," I continued breezily. "My stellar collisions weren't there when I woke up, because they were both too busy staying up all night long with your stellar collision…" My gaze snapped to Ziggy again. "How salacious."

"Say whaaaaaat?" Baltasar called out, as if he didn't have salacious secrets of his own.

Careful, Baby Hulk.

It would be a shame if someone was to let the Lacertus out of the bag.

To my immense surprise—and annoyed admiration—Ziggy didn't flinch at my incriminating insinuation. Instead of giving me the possessive show of anger I was hoping for, his lip curled the slightest bit, as if he had secrets of his own.

A quick glance at Micah showed the hero throwing a wary look at Gabriel but remaining unconcerned about his mate's reaction.

Rude.

This performance was supposed to feature an ensemble cast!

"Fascinating," Ziggy replied in a mild tone that had me bristling. "So what happened next? After you were tragically forced to take care of yourself, I assume."

HOW DARE HE STEAL MY LINES!!!

Beyond irritated that I had, in fact, found a worthy opponent, I peered around the room for an easier target and smirked upon locating my prey.

The disgraced Salah matriarch will do.

"Well, I decided to take a morning stroll around the island in my true form," I purred. "To see what my old business associates might be up to when they thought no one was watching…"

Jacqueline Salah huffed, as if she hadn't financially funded my creation of a serum that altered a supe's DNA against their will.

Sorry, Zion.

And sorry to all the reject supes who were stupid enough to drink the serum, and who will now be forced to attend an ‘academy' run by Headmaster Antihero and Schoolmarm Masculine.

"Everyone knows I've been working tirelessly to keep that tropical cyclone from ruining the wedding," she proclaimed. "A Herculean effort that has taken its toll…" She then placed the back of her hand against her weary brow and slumped dramatically.

Lady Tempest has claimed the spotlight .

My gaze flickered to Dre, who was staring at Jacqueline with an intensity that suggested he was working his way into her head.

Get her, demon.

"Did you find anything amiss during your morning stroll, Theo?" Ziggy brought my attention back to him, apparently determined to keep us on track.

"Jacqueline was already on the beach monitoring the storm," I confirmed begrudgingly. "Although her husband was notoriously absent, just like he appears to be now?—"

"I'm right here." The Salah patriarch, Major Obscurity—aka, Pops —materialized next to his wife, causing several supes to gasp in alarm.

Jumpy bunch.

I had sensed an invisible entity in the room but hadn't given it much thought, since Obscurity tended to disappear into his wife's shadow anyway.

We all know who's in charge in that relationship.

"Anything else of note?" Ziggy asked distractedly, now observing the dead normie with more attention than he was giving me.

Again, rude.

"Only Isaiah unloading items from the cargo hold of his family's plane." My gaze snagged on a half-empty crate farther down the counter I was sitting on. "Including that."

Instead of getting defensive, as most would have in this situation, Isaiah grinned broadly. "That's Izzy's Good Ish!"

I bet it is, you lovable stoner .

Ziggy sighed and kneeled beside the corpse, using his Earthling hands to pry open the mouth and peer inside. "Let's move on to the medical examination."

Xander abruptly stood and took a step back. "As much as I usually enjoy busting out my scalpel, I don't think I'm in the mood to slice open someone I knew?—"

"Why would you need a scalpel? You're more than capable of doing damage without one," Kai muttered, causing Xander to frown in her direction.

"No scalpel will be required for us to enter the body," Ziggy brusquely interrupted the side drama.

My interest was piqued. Yes, an exploratory tendril would get the job done, but it seemed odd that my Stellarian offspring would betray his true form in front of an audience—no matter if a handful of them already knew what we were. A strange sense of protectiveness crept in at the thought of how the other guests might react, but before it could blossom into inconvenient care, Micah stepped forward.

And unleashed tendrils of his own.

"By Stellaria!" I choked out, legitimately shocked.

That certainly doesn't happen every day…

Matching what I knew of Micah's Exo-Tech powers, his tendrils were solid and appeared to be made of metal, but the way they moved mimicked a Stellarian's starry matter perfectly.

"So fucking pretty…" Gabriel whispered under his breath before freezing, as if he hadn't meant to say that out loud.

It's okay, angel.

The lust already gives you away .

"They are pretty, aren't they?" Ziggy teased my blushing stellar collision before flashing me that infuriating smug smile again. "They kill so prettily too."

Excuse me?!

The idea of sweet, unassuming Micah killing anyone was the most shocking development yet. Gabriel found it hot, apparently, as more desire pulsed through our bond.

When I sharply glanced at my sweet, unassuming mate, a blast of shame chased his lust, and I realized I should probably put my angel out of his misplaced misery after this little crime scene investigation was over.

It's time for a Stellarian biology lesson, I suppose.

A boring one.

"I assume you need me to collect his stomach contents, right, Zig?" Micah was all business, impressively calm while he forcibly stuffed one of his mechanical tendrils down the victim's throat.

Kinky.

"That's right," Ziggy replied, his smile turning strangely soft. "Can you also create a needle long enough to insert into the upper abdomen so we can get a liver sample for biopsy? Good boy."

Okay, now things are getting kinky.

In all seriousness, it was mesmerizing to watch them work so well together—and entirely unexpected, considering how much of a control freak my offspring was. Either way, it was clear Ziggy not only believed in his mate's abilities enough to let him lead, but that both were already accustomed to operating as a team.

How oddly… mature .

"You think he was poisoned?" Xander asked, stepping forward once again as his scientific proclivities took over.

Ziggy hummed noncommittally. "I suspect as much. He didn't vomit, but there are burns around his mouth, and the trauma to his head suggests he might have fainted before hitting the floor."

Xander's shoulders slumped. "Fuck… This is all my fault. It really wasn't that big of a deal for me to get fried chicken, yet I uprooted Felix's entire life to suit my needs…" He trailed off as his eyes widened, gaze shifting to where Kai still leaned against Violentia for support.

Things are getting a little too touchy-feely around here.

"Well then!" I leaped off my perch, overjoyed that my perfect ass left a perfect smudge mark on the stainless-steel surface. "If you're no longer needing me?—"

"Why is your hot sauce at the crime scene, Isaiah?" Jacqueline Salah's haughty voice rang out.

Isaiah blinked at his mother. "Because I like my fried chicken spicy and wanted to share the ish…"

She narrowed her eyes at her third-born child. "If you didn't need it until dinner, why was it so important to unload from the plane in the early morning hours, when no one else was around?"

Is she… leading the witness?

"Hold up." Gabriel stepped in front of a still confused looking Isaiah. "Are you accusing Izzy of poisoning Felix?"

Jacqueline shrugged. "You said it, not me."

"No." My angel vehemently shook his head. "I was in his head earlier, and there was nothing?— "

"Yes, you and your twin seem to think you can simply waltz into anyone's head whenever you feel like it, don't you?" she hissed as a triumphant smile stretched across her face. "Too bad I've been strengthening my defenses since the last time you uncovered circumstantial evidence and used it to take over my clan."

I covertly unleashed a few tendrils to surround my twins—not only in case of attack, but to confirm whether Andre had been able to infiltrate her head or not.

Nope.

Usually his frustration tasted delicious, but in this case, it only made me angry on his behalf.

Well, everyone is just full of surprises today.

"Mother…" Zion soothed. "The clan is still under our family's control—under my leadership."

Lady Tempest scoffed, an angry breeze whipping her hair around her face as Major Obscurity faded into the background once again. "Oh, you think so? You think Wolfgang Suarez doesn't have a plan to eventually absorb the Salah name into his?"

"Enough, Tempest," Wolfgang warned, clenching his gloved hands by his sides. "We have more important things to focus on. Like a murder."

Which might turn into a double homicide if Jackie doesn't zip it.

True to form, she wasn't done. "This is why I didn't willingly hand you the reins, Zion. You are too trusting to be a clan leader. Too weak." Her gaze pointedly shifted to Isaiah and back again. "We have an obvious suspect in our midst, and you'd be more than happy to simply let him walk."

What. A. Bitch .

Zion's supe form flickered over his skin, and for a moment, I lost myself in the vision of what he would look like if he was a true Lacertus.

Being chomped in half by a giant alien lizard would certainly shut his mother up.

Maybe.

Wolfgang didn't interfere again—which disproved Jacqueline's claims against him, in my opinion—but the damage had been done.

"Isaiah." Zion growled, his expression as stony as I'd ever seen it. "I'm going to need you to come with me?—"

"No!" Gabriel shouted. "Zion, listen to me. He didn't do anything!"

"Gabriel." Ziggy's calm voice cut through the panic I could feel pouring off my angelic stellar collision. "Everything's going to be okay."

I gaped as Ziggy's chest began to faintly glow, and my jaw dropped when Gabriel instantly settled and softly resonated in return.

Ziggy's… comforting him.

He's taking care of what's mine…

An annoyingly familiar tap on my brain had me looking at Andre, completely and utterly un surprised to find him smirking at me.

Making me contemplate, like the demon he is.

This was officially too much. I'd been perfectly happy twenty minutes ago, enjoying my possibly poisoned fried chicken with a side of secondhand drama, but then Ziggy had to show up and comfort my stellar collision, like… like …

Like family.

Like how I was never there to comfort him.

Fuck. This.

Without waiting for anyone's permission—because I answered to no one—I star hopped away. Not off the island, not back to my Teal Coast mansion in Big City, but far enough away so I no longer had to face the inconvenient truth of how right any of this felt—because then, I'd have to admit how wrong I'd been.

And we can't have that.