15. Andre

CHAPTER 15

ANDRE

The Mouthy One: We have a problem.

The Mouthy One: Apparently SOMEONE in the kitchen decided to change the menu for the rehearsal dinner to NOT fried chicken. [Suspicious face emoji]

The One with the Biggest Dick: The horror.

The Mouthy One: So now I need to fly Felix down here to fix this. Everybody: ACT [clap emoji] NORMAL [clap] FOR [clap] THE [clap] NORMIE. [Praise hands emoji]

Deadbeat with a Capital D: No. [Clap emoji]

The never-ending clan leader meeting paused—yet again—while we all checked on the latest Rabble Chat drama.

Which Theo has now inserted himself into, of course.

My bratty alien had been strangely absent from the chat since his non-apology apology to Kai. Then, he was weirdly obedient, disappearing completely when I asked him to give Gabe some space tonight while I was busy.

So that worked out perfectly.

If not suspiciously…

I was flattered to be invited to this meeting in the first place, but the whole thing quickly lost its shine. We kicked things off by going over nitpicky wedding details that didn't concern anyone in the room before Wolfy revealed that the big "emergency" was an incoming cyclone Lady Tempest was struggling to deal with.

Maybe Jacqueline Salah's audacity finally eclipsed her actual powers.

I was about to remind everyone I could just slip into Tempest's mind to see what the issue was when Xanny started blowing up the chat as if he was about to call off the entire wedding over missing fried chicken.

So there is something he loves more than himbo cock…

"Simon…" Wolfy growled in his legitimately terrifying warning tone that had absolutely no effect on his Mafia Queen. "What did you do?"

"It wasn't me!" the tiny tyrant huffed. "I was more than willing to risk my digestive tract for a single night of food court fare."

"How accommodating of you," Zion chuckled. "Since, you know, this is their wedding and all." When Simon glared, the hero turned to Wolfy. "Hey! Since Luca is officiating, do you think we could ask him to renew my vows with Baltasar while we're down here? B has been… off lately, and that might perk him up…"

Wolfy's brow furrowed. "What's going on with Balty?"

Aaaand just like that, we're off topic again .

Against my better judgment, I'd come to—silently, secretly—appreciate how much Wolfy cared about his siblings, but this meeting had gone on long enough. So, while the others diagnosed how Balty was acting more squirrelly than usual, I did the only logical thing.

I took a little trip into his squirrelly little brain.

Only to be hit with a tidal wave of anxiety.

Holy shit.

Anxious Balty was nothing new, but this was next level. His naturally jumbled inner world was currently a chaotic kaleidoscope of emotions and half-baked thoughts.

Mostly about a certain lizard cock…

My eyes narrowed in Zion's direction as I picked up on some very specific anxiety concerning scales, ridges, and knots.

What the fuck is going on?!

I didn't want to jump to conclusions, but if my brother was being treated as anything less than the precious Baby Hulk he was, we were going to have a problem.

"Whatever's bothering Balty has to do with certain lizard features he's intimately acquainted with," I calmly interrupted, even as my rage started to churn.

"What?" Zion choked out as Wolfy and Simon snapped their predatory attention to him. "What the hell are you… What?"

Not so smug now, huh, asshole?

I didn't bother addressing Zion's confusion, mostly because I didn't have all the facts yet. Plus, it was kind of fun to see the big lizard squirm under the combined glares of Mom and Dad .

And while I was feeling protective of Balty, I could also admit—to myself, at least—that a large part of my saltiness was because of the ‘lizard lube' incident from over Christmas.

Zion had brought the serum-turned-lube that I won during my family's annual cutthroat White Elephant gift exchange. When I cornered him afterwards, he swore up and down it wouldn't have any lasting effects. What that Godzilla-looking motherfucker failed to mention was that the knot I lodged in Theo while playing "Captured by the Enemy Lacertus" later that night would take a goddamn hour to deflate.

I call that a lasting effect.

Theo thought it was hilarious and mercilessly teased me about my predicament until he was freed, as if he hadn't been sobbing in fear while I fucked him with the dick of his enemy.

Fucked him body and mind.

My favorite way to tame a brat.

With that method in mind, I reopened my connection with Gabe to zero in on the other anxious bean at the resort bar.

Micah Salah.

I tuned in just in time to hear him admit—out loud—that he thought my twin was hot.

Excellent.

Some might expect Gabe to get equally flustered by this admission—and they would usually be correct—but he was still a Suarez. If there was one thing my family did well, it was to dominate other supes at the first sign of weakness, whether on the playing field, the battlefield, or in the bedroom.

Lock him down, bro .

"You been crushing on me, huh, Salah?" Gabe teased, letting some of that dormant top energy out to play.

That's my cue.

Ignoring the fact Gabe had tried to pause our mental connection, I momentarily sent my twin to sleep and easily infiltrated Micah's horny-as-fuck mind instead.

"Been dreaming of me fucking your body and mind at the same time?"

Checkmate.

Before I could go in for the kill, Balty appeared out of nowhere to cockblock the action, followed almost immediately by my missing chaos gremlin.

Well, this won't do.

Sluts gotta slut.

I'd specifically laid the groundwork for this little ‘date' to happen tonight, and I wasn't about to let Rabble cameos ruin the fun. I did not expect either of these idiots to act on anything—and cheating wasn't my end game here anyway—but I'd wanted to plant the slutty seeds deep enough to grow.

So we can all form roots together.

Was it cool of me to fuck with my brother's one friendship? Not really. Was I still making the executive decision to go ahead with it for the benefit of everyone involved? Hell fucking yes.

Suarez-Stellari Supremacy.

Which, in my mind, includes Ziggy and Micah.

Or… it will include them, once I'm done with things .

First things first, certain third and fourth wheels needed to GTFO. I sent a subtle tap to Theo's brain, subconsciously urging him to go harass Balty somewhere else. A moment later, he was leading my older brother away from Sluts-R-Us, babbling about the finer points of lizard dick.

Making a mental note to grill him later about what exactly had Balty's jockstrap in a bunch, I refocused on the two supes pumping enough pheromones into the air to be seen from space.

The struggle is real.

While my twin and I had casually crossed paths with Micah Salah over the years—usually at neutral zone Deathball and Supremacy Games events—I'd previously felt nothing toward the hero besides vague interest.

Since his powers have always been impressive enough to be considered a threat.

Regardless of whether his parents are too stupid to recognize it.

Now that we'd been in close quarters for a few days, however, I'd discovered a fascinating pull between the three of us—a pull I now believed Gabe had been feeling for a while.

I still remembered the first time Micah had randomly texted my twin—soon after Balty and Zion finally got over their bullshit and right around the time Ziggy moved into the Salah estate. It was a pretty basic message, but Gabe got so adorably flustered over it, there was no way in hell I wasn't going to encourage his ridiculous fucking crush.

Then, Micah disappeared on his now legendary—in the group chat—"space married" adventure, and I hadn't thought about their chemistry since .

It wasn't until this week, when I saw firsthand how Gabe and Micah danced around each other, that I realized exactly how I could use this clearly mutual crush to my advantage.

Because we have two idiot aliens who need to get over their bullshit.

Before either alien entered the scene, there was a logical reason for this 'forbidden' attraction. Between the restrictions on heroes and villains being lifted, our families already aligned in marriage, Micah being close to our age, and all three of us being fine as fuck, it was probably bound to happen eventually.

But now, we were resonating with our stellar collisions—two Stellarians who happened to be related and would therefore possess the same resonance.

The eventual became inevitable.

I needed to handle this carefully so no one actually got hurt. Ziggy obviously— obsessively —only had eyes for Micah, and I surely would have heard about it if Theo found Exo-Tech attractive.

Maybe this attraction is just a thing that happens between the mates…?

While I could definitely appreciate Micah's appeal, I didn't let it affect me. He wasn't really my type and I was used to existing with a pull that mirrored the connection I felt with my twin. Plus, I had enough on my plate managing two subs. I didn't need a third.

Although, Theo made it sound like Gabe's been missing his previous role on top…

It kind of stung that my twin wouldn't tell me his needs weren't being met, especially after all we'd been through with his sub- and our Stellarian - awakening. His happiness was my responsibility. It was mine .

He was mine.

All possessiveness aside, I liked the idea of Gabe getting something that was just for him, and if I could be the one to give it to him, all the better.

I also suspected our stellar collisions would agree, because if there was one thing Theo and Ziggy had in common—besides their high-key stubbornness—it was that they were absolutely weak for their subby little sluts.

So we just need them to get over their bullshit and on board.

A jolt of panic hit me, and I refocused to discover both Gabe and Micah were suffering mini-meltdowns over their matching boners.

Whoops.

"Gotta bounce!" I called out, leaping from my chair and heading for the door of Wolfy and Simon's bungalow.

Rabble HQ.

"Hold up, Shock!" Zion shouted, sounding a bit panicked himself. "What do you mean Baltasar is freaking out about my dick?"

"You tell us, Justice," Wolfy growled, in full Clan Daddy mode, just as I'd hoped. "Why would Balty be worried about your dick?"

May the Force be with you, Darth Handsy.

Before anyone could stop me, I star hopped to the grand lodge, deciding the date I'd orchestrated could probably use a chaperone.

Might as well enjoy a front row seat to the slut show.