Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Tracy Judd

I left work that night with two very conflicting emotions. One, I'd wanted so badly to head over to Abel and Madigan's place. They were continuing their get-together with board games and drinks, and Abel had invited me. But having heard some stories, it didn't feel like the best idea, because either I would keep them from taking things further, or they would turn the night into a sexy show but I wouldn't have anyone to play with. Well, I might become the platonic third wheel for Abel and Madigan, but it wasn't the same. So I'd declined.

Two …I was freaking miserable!

It was all Griffin's fault. I mean, yeah, I'd been lonely before his return to town, but not to this degree. And it was getting increasingly worse when he was nice to me. Like tonight. He'd made me the most delicious burger—and he'd fussed over me! He'd reminded me to eat.

I kicked at a pebble and picked up the pace—whoa. I stopped short outside a Realtor's window, where I'd stopped many times before, but now there was a new listing.

That cabin was beautiful.

Perhaps it was time for me to buy a place. I was lucky to dream about locations that few others did, so I wouldn't be buried in debt for too many years. A nice cabin up in Westslope often went for under two hundred grand, and that would give me a good chunk of land too.

At the same time, while I really wanted to live out in the middle of nowhere, close to nature, I wasn't sure I could do it alone. On nights I felt particularly lonely and vulnerable, I might freak out if I heard the wrong type of rustling or encountered wildlife right off the porch.

"You window-shopping?"

Fuck. My pulse went through the roof, and I swung around to spot Griffin up the street. But why? I'd thought he'd left.

"Kind of."

He trailed closer, smoking a cigarette.

The street was so empty at this hour that I heard the faintest sound of his boots scraping against the pavement.

"I thought you went home already," I noted.

"No, I went over to have a word with Jameson. He was working late."

Oh.

He put out his smoke and came to a stop next to me, and he glanced at the listings.

I swallowed. My stomach felt all fluttery suddenly.

I want you, I want you, I want you, and I think you might want me a little too.

"Are you buying a house?" he asked.

"I'm thinking about it." I pointed to the red cabin I was developing a crush on. "I like that one." In short, it would be the next best thing. What I really wanted was a boat, but it didn't make any sense yet. My rent was sky-high, so if I was going to buy something, it should be a home. Unless I lived on the boat… "Do you know if it's expensive to have a boat in the marina in Downtown?"

Griffin side-eyed me. "Cheaper than the Ponderosa marina, pricier than the one south of Silver Beach."

I hadn't thought of the last one.

"Did you grow up fishing with your old man or something?"

I shook my head. "My grandpa. I spent every summer with him in Maine."

"Damn. It's nice over there."

It really was, but I preferred Washington. "Nothing beats this place, though." I smiled to myself and checked out another row of listings in the window.

"Is that a fact," he murmured. "What about all the restaurant meccas of the world? You don't wanna chase the stars and be an exec in New York or…" He trailed off, seeing me shake my head.

The notion was almost laughable. I loved being a chef, but I'd never aimed for Michelin or fame.

"I'm very happy here," I said. "Plus, my brother's moving to Seattle with his family next year, so I'll be able to see my nephews more often."

It was only a matter of time before my folks followed. They had nothing else keeping them in Georgia.

Griffin sighed heavily, and I didn't know why, but it did something to the atmosphere around us. Like a flip of a switch, I became so aware of him—and I realized none of his questions were random.

Was he freaking interviewing me?

Alessia was right. He was jaded.

I had exes too, but I didn't feel the need to ask a potential date if he had plans on cheating on me, moving halfway across the country, or stealing my laptop.

It'd happened.

I took a deep breath and felt the need to lay it all out there for him. If he'd been hurt, I wanted to ease some fears and hopefully convince him that we were worth a shot. Because this couldn't go on. Before he'd left for Europe, I'd been so hooked on him—not to mention kinda broken that he had no interest. But now…things were changing, and it was more painful than ever to wonder if he was going to believe I was worth the risk.

I positioned myself in his line of sight and tried to come off as casual by leaning back against the window. I stuck my hands down into my pockets too.

He watched me in silence, and I was slowly figuring him out. He'd been honest enough to admit I was his type. That my behavior and personality had affected him when he'd struggled with his own relationship. So…maybe that gave me a boost of confidence. Determination blanketed the nervous butterflies in my stomach with an easy shh .

"Can I tell you my dream, Chef?" I asked.

He stared at me for a while longer, before nodding so subtly I almost missed it. His face was all shadows and contrasts in the faint glow of the streetlights farther away.

I went with total honesty.

"I want a place like this." I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. "I wanna grow stuff that Daddy and I cook together." Instant reaction—his jaw tightened, and he took the slightest step forward. Daddy was the magic word, maybe? It sure was for me. "We should have a boat too," I added. "Perhaps he and I will spend a whole weekend out on the water, fishing and playing and cooking… I mean, if he likes to cook, that is."

The tension grew thicker as he took another small step forward.

He swallowed and glanced down the street. "Maybe your Daddy grew up on the water and would like that a whole lot."

Holy fuck.

A shiver ran down my spine, and I drew in a breath.

Please, please, please, please let this happen!

"Yeah, maybe." I raked my teeth over my bottom lip, and he met my gaze again. "And when we play…we go rough. Because I love it when he controls my air supply, when he pushes me around, when he takes whatever the fuck he wants from me, and when he rape-fucks me because he just can't help himself."

He rubbed a hand over his mouth and jaw and closed his eyes briefly.

"Daddy won't have to worry either," I went on. "'Cause I know my safewords, and they're always in effect. Also, safety—I'm only available for him, and I wouldn't risk anything. I mean, nonsexual play with others is cool—I like that—but only Daddy's allowed to kiss me in my secret places and stuff."

The look he gave me then seared its way through me and set me on fucking fire. I didn't need to see every detail of his face to know I was getting to him.

I wasn't sure I could speak much longer. My fingers twitched for something to grab on to, and I just…I really wanted to surrender. Throw myself at him and have him take over.

I wanted to let myself fall down the rabbit hole of filth and submission; I wanted to let go of all filters and leave all the grown-up crap to him. I had this bizarre feeling that we'd be scorching hot together.

If he didn't feel the same way, he definitely shouldn't be closing the distance between us another inch. But he did. He took that last step that almost made our shoes touch, and heat simmered below the surface to the point where I couldn't open my mouth. If I did, a pathetic whimper would come out.

Please.

"I think the same should apply to your Daddy." His voice came out low and doused in whiskey. "He enjoys nonsexual sessions with others too, as long as he's got his boy with him. And what you and he share is sacred."

Sacred.

I loved that word so much.

I nodded and couldn't help myself. I reached out and dug my fingers underneath his belt, and it seemed to do the trick. A second later, he descended on me. He cupped my face in his hands and dipped down, covering my mouth with his own, and I fucking expired.

Tiny explosions went off throughout my body, and I was quick to lock my arms around his neck. We deepened the kiss at the same time, and his hands roamed south till they covered my butt. And that moment when our tongues touched, something settled within me. There was nothing tentative about the way he kissed. He took charge, and he took possession. He kissed me like he'd been waiting two years to do it.

He tasted of smoke, mint, and something sweet, and I couldn't get enough.

Wherever he touched me, every kiss, and all his greed worked together to close all my old wounds. I was soaring with relief. He wants me. He wants this. He wants us. I'm worth the risk. I found the pressure point. We kissed harder and deeper, and he backed me into the secluded entrance of the Realtor's place. Just a small corner of the world where nobody saw us.

My feet landed on a welcome mat, and my back hit the door.

Griffin cursed under his breath as I hitched my leg over his hip, and a beat later, he picked me up. I gasped into a hungry kiss and wrapped my legs around him, and he pressed his cock against mine.

I whimpered.

Oh my God, the way he kissed…

I was ready to bend over. Literally. Right fucking here.

He swept his tongue sensually around mine, and I acted like a desperate slut. I rolled my hips over his hard cock, I fisted his hair, I pressed myself impossibly closer, I was all over him.

" Please ."

A low, growl-like sound emanated from his chest, and he gave my bottom lip a sharp nip. "Behave. If we take things further, you're not spending the night alone."

I shuddered violently, reaching a new level of desperation. "I love promises that sound like threats."

"Christ." He had me completely trapped against the door, so he could use his hands freely. He shifted one of them up my front, to my throat, and grabbed me in a light chokehold and slowed down the kiss.

I begged him again. "Please, please, please," I rasped. He knew my status, he knew I was safe, he knew how I liked it on paper, and I wanted nothing more than for him to put that to the test. "I want you so much, Sir. Please take me."

He clenched his jaw and pressed his lips to my cheek. "Whenever and wherever?"

"As close as we can get to being animals."

He whispered a shallow "Fuck" against my flesh, and I felt the pressure increasing. He shifted his fingers to my carotid arteries and nodded once. "Lemme hear your safewords."

I couldn't rush out the words any faster. "Red, yellow, green. I won't hesitate to use them."

He drew a deep breath. "And if your pretty little mouth's occupied and you can't speak?"

He was killing me.

"I'll pinch you."

"Show me," he commanded in a low tone.

Excitement tore through me, and I released my legs from around him. He let me go enough so I could get my feet back on the ground, and I didn't waste a second. I dropped to my knees in front of him and immediately went for his belt.

He combed his fingers through my hair.

It was so dark that I couldn't make out his features properly, but I sure as fuck sensed the beast within that he was trying to contain.

"I checked the same safety boxes you did on the form," he said quietly. Fuck yes, he was confirming he'd joined the event. "But we can use protection if you want."

I shook my head and undid his jeans next. "Not with you. You're not like anyone else, Sir."

He let out a breath and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Same goes for you."

I swallowed around the relief and sheer joy, and…in that case, I hoped we were done talking. I wanted the beast. The primal Daddy. R for rough. I was beyond ready.

The moment I pulled out his cock, my mouth watered. Fuck me, he wasn't average anywhere. I sucked him into my mouth, and he made a rumbling sound and fisted my hair. He was taking over right away. He pushed deeper, dipping the head down my throat, and he told me to pinch him like I would if I needed to safeword.

I obeyed, pinching his thigh repeatedly so it wouldn't be mistaken for anything else.

"That's good." He eased out, but I wasn't ready. I whimpered and forced him back in, earning myself a husky chuckle. "Eager little cocksucker, huh?"

I nodded and swirled my tongue around him. He tasted so good, and I loved the feel of his soft skin. How it stretched around the hardness. I loved, loved, loved sucking cock. And ten times more if it was Griffin Lawson.

I couldn't help myself. I didn't want to.

He couldn't either, it seemed. He pushed deeper and surrendered with a low groan, and then he was slowly fucking my throat.

Soon as I choked and felt the familiar panic rise, he withdrew and then pushed in again.

"That sound," he whispered. "I'll wanna hear it every fuckin' day."

We better make that happen, then. I redoubled my efforts and closed my eyes, and I spurred him on by slipping my hands to the backs of his thighs.

Go savage on me, Daddy.

He didn't need further prompting. He took charge, with another fistful of my hair, and sped up. Indulging, maybe. Testing the waters. Faster and deeper, rougher and greedier.

"Unzip your pants," he gritted out. "Soak me properly."

Yes, Sir!

I made quick work of pushing down my jeans, and I coated him in spit.

Barely a second passed before he hauled me to my feet and spun me around. Shock and elation rushed through me, and he shoved me up against the door and forced his cock between my butt cheeks. A gasp got stuck in my throat, and all I could think about was pushing back. Pushing my ass out for him, meeting every move he made, bracing myself.

"The times I've thought about this tight little ass hurting for Daddy's cock…"

Oh my God.

I choked on a moan and screwed my eyes shut as he pushed inside me, and then it was just fiery hot pain everywhere. He was everywhere. His teeth sank into my neck, his fingers dug into my hips, his cock disappeared deep into my bottom, and I was paralyzed in the best fucking way. I couldn't draw breath, couldn't scream, couldn't move. Oh my God, I'd never felt anything like it. So all-consuming, so intense.

Tears welled up.

My lungs started burning.

My skin prickled, and my ass was on fucking fire.

After a beat, I noticed something shifting. He was dropping featherlight kisses along my neck, and I felt his hand covering my cock. Those shivery sensations broke through, and I managed to suck in a ragged breath.

In a quick moment of panic, I feared he was going to pull out, so I found the strength to push against him, and—fuck, fuck, fuck! I cried out as the pain exploded all over again, shooting bolts of immobilizing hurt up my ass and through my whole body.

"Don't pull out," I croaked. "Green, green, green. Holy f-fuck."

He chuckled darkly and kissed the spot below my ear. "I'm not goin' anywhere, boy. I want you to hurt."

He forced a sluggish shudder through me with those words. He was a sadistic dream come true. I was already so damn sure. Because in my experience, most Tops hesitated in this very moment, fearing they'd gone too far.

Not Griffin.

"More," I whimpered.

He gave me more. He pulled out and pushed in again, hard, and he didn't stop. It was as if he knew exactly how this discomfort affected me, how addicted I was to that white-hot pain that rendered me useless.

He abandoned my cock and set a fast pace to fuck me roughly up against the door, which he soon wasn't happy with. He shifted me to the brick wall instead and groaned as he took me.

A rush of something—no, never mind. It was a car approaching, driving by, disappearing again.

I let out a long moan.

Liquid pleasure pulsed through me and heated me up. It turned me into a fucking whore. One who couldn't stop pleading for more, one who couldn't stop moving with him. Whenever he pushed in, I pushed back and clenched down.

His hand covered mine on the brick wall, and he shifted it higher and nudged me forward. He wanted me right there, my cheek pressed against the cold brick, where every thrust shook me and caused scratches. He dipped down and kissed my neck, and he fisted my cock again. He never stopped moving—and he didn't pull out much anymore either. He ground his cock deeper and stroked mine. I felt his tongue against my neck, his teeth, his lips, his hot breaths…

I'd never been so swept away by a fuck before in my life. He was all I could think about.

He made pain and pleasure come together inside me.

I whimpered, begged, and moaned.

Every now and then, shocks of hurt and worry smacked into me, when he stroked my cock a little harder and accidentally rubbed it against the wall.

"This is only the beginning," he whispered in my ear, out of breath. "This is me going easy on you."

My eyes flashed open, and pleasure crashed down on me, pushing me to the brink.

"I'll take you whenever the fuck I want," he continued. The promise and the threat again. Fuck, how I loved it.

I gasped and pushed against him even more. "And stop isn't a safeword."

"Absolutely not." He flicked my earlobe with the tip of his tongue. "If anything, it's a great way to let Daddy know you want him to rape you harder."

"I want that," I whimpered. "I want that so much."

He exhaled a curse and shuddered, before he gripped my cock tighter and?—

"Close," I choked out. Fuck, fuck, fuck, it happened too fast. All of a sudden, I was pushed off the cliff, and euphoria all but drowned me.

I vaguely registered—and heard—Griffin surrendering too, but I couldn't do anything to prolong his pleasure. Once again, I couldn't fucking move. One shiver set off another as I came against the wall, and it felt like I spiked a fever. Heat pressed itself to the surface, and I scrunched up my face and held my breath.

This is only the beginning. This is me going easy on you.

Griffin had to be mine. I needed him to be my Daddy.

As soon as I could breathe properly, I collapsed against him, and he caught me in a bear hug. My cheek was suddenly on fire too, and I couldn't wait to see the scratches. The more marks, the better!

Deep breaths.